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Why Make the Effort?

When you don’t feel you are worth it, like the effort to go to the doctor or make those changes to your diet or get more education for a better paying job, why and who you are making the effort for may be your key to motivation.

You don’t value yourself enough for the effort?

So be it.Why Make the Effort? on Shalavee.com

But if you have children, their needs for your best You always trump everything.

Your why is always your key to getting your life done. And if you have kids, they are a bigger why than we even realize. They are witnessing everything that we do and say. They are watching, learning, and emulating the way we treat ourselves. And if they see us disregarding our bodies, allowing our boundaries to be bulldozed, and generally treating ourselves as if we are not worth it… they will do the same to themselves.

It’s a fact Jack.

“Do as I say not as I do” are the old rotted roots plunged into and holding onto these behaviors.Why Make the Effort? on Shalavee.com

But how can you tell your children they are the best thing since sliced bread and then discredit the source of this compliment by allowing yourself to be treated as less.

The number one reason to value yourself is the shadow you cast. You are not as invisible as you think. When they try to bully me, I stand up for myself to my children for this reason alone. Because I want them to remember that I valued myself and my time enough to say not now. And I always keep my word to them and myself that my word is always true and valuable. I trust that I am strong for all of us until they are too.

If you enjoyed what you read, please subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your email box. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional In-touchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

 

Endure and Enjoy Like a Cat

I’m walking into the gym, anticipating the discomfort of exercising and the whine of my joints as muscles. And then I think about how it is what it is until it isn’t anymore. Just be in the moment like a cat.Endure and Enjoy like a cat on Shalavee.com

Cats have this now mentality. If they’re in pain they think, this really sucks. They just live life one need and one emotion at a time. And when they’re happy and tired, they’re happy and tired.

Endure and Enjoy like a cat on Shalavee.com

Cat naps are their superpower because they are necessary. Knowing that you absolutely need to indulge in self-care in this way at this time must really take a lot of the guess-work out of life. Because cats know they are always worth it.Endure and Enjoy like a cat on Shalavee.com

If you enjoyed what you read, please subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your email box. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional In-touchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

What Self-Care May also Look Like

It feels like I’m just now coming out of the tale-spin of the holidays, more first of the year obligations, and the winter illnesses that somehow have besieged us at the same time. All the gorgeous clarity and connectedness of my writing and intention work has joined so many other forgotten goals and projects and they’re piled in a conceptual corner of my soul’s hallway. I see them but have forgotten how and why they even ended up there.

The purpose and brilliance of my forgotten goals and projects have been lost in the shuffle that is life.

Spells of over-obligation, stress, and fear create piles of unattended to stuff. And if you are an overachiever, or industrial overfocuser, you may have even more leftover undone stuff that is piled in that corner of the hall which now has a force-field around it. You assume the pile is untouchable since it’s been there so long. And at the very moment when you are weighing the importance of the contents of that pile, consider cleaning up that pile may be an act of self-care.What Self-Care May also Look Like on Shalavee.com

Sometimes self-care looks like long hot showers, smelly candles, an hour of uninterrupted reading, binge watching videos of choice, or getting a manicure. Sometimes, for me, it’s having hours to myself to think and write (thus creating this pile of thoughts and dreams I abandoned). And sometimes self-care is getting to the very thing that’s bugging you most and making a decision on it once and for all.

Being your own parent and putting yourself to the “hard tasks” can be the most relieving caring thing you can do for you. Telling another person how you truly feel as kindly as possible can be one. Cancelling the gym membership that was supposed to motivate you and make you feel better and now just makes you feel like a failure. Because it’s now Spring and self-care can actually look like a walk in the park. What can you do to make your soul lighter today?What Self-Care May also Look Like on Shalavee.com

Today, I’m catching up on writing blog posts, and that creativity feels like self-care. I called to make a doctor’s appointment for something that may or may not be something I need to be worried about. I made a hair appointment and a date for drinks. And I ate very healthily for lunch after a nice long walk in the sunshine. And in a little while, I’m going to begin to dig out that pile in the corner of my soul’s hallway. Self-care is serious business and I want to know I did right by myself at the end of the day. That I am not the pile of unattended stuff in the corner thank you.

If you enjoyed what you read, please subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your email box. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional In-touchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Do You Use Scare Tactics or Self Care Tactics?

Yes, I can definitely see my wish to “succeed” in my life. I want to find a dream to pursue purposefully. I’ve had occasions where I really thought I knew what I wanted and knew what I needed to do to get there. But those were also the days when I didn’t realize that I was still trying to impress people and gain favor. Days when I secretly thought it was about popularity and competition. And I may have accomplished stuff but my why was wrong and my scare tactic methods of accomplishing my goals left me tired. I felt beaten up and bullied by myself.Do You Use Scare Tactics or Self Care Tactics? on Shalavee.com

Eventually I would discover that any goals that included impressing others and making them like me were not goals with integrity. My new rule became that I would only work towards goals and projects that made me happy and that if others were happy too, great. But what also came of this was a kindness and a patience I have never given myself before. I have always bullied myself and now I am committed to witnessing myself and giving myself enough compassion through the scary bits to move on. I have the permission and power to acknowledge me and move through.Do You Use Scare Tactics or Self Care Tactics? on Shalavee.com

At the very core of reaching any destination is the knowledge that I deserve the perceived reward. And to keep fuel in the “worthy” tanks, I am regularly bestowing the kindest care I can on myself. For me this looks like getting pedicures (which I am due up for), having alone time to think and write, and lovely lunches with the people who I care about. Do what you want to do verses what you have to do. Because honestly, unless you’re at work with a boss hanging over your shoulder, life should be fun and not a grueling rat race of perfection and wealth and achievement. You can choose to bully you or you can choose to be kind to you.

If you enjoyed what you read, please subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your email box. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional In-touchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

It’s Nice to be Nice to the Nice

I was almost surprised at myself when I heard me say “Good job, you did great” inside my head. Because how often do I give myself compliments? Can’t remember. But I recognized recently that if you are not appreciating your own efforts, how can you be truly appreciative of others’ efforts. Being nice to you and others is truly the least we can do.It's Nice to be Nice to the Nice on Shalavee.com

So, I started to notice others’ efforts. I started to tell people what I was impressed with when they did their jobs, especially when that job affected my life and well-being. I complimented the receptionist at the orthodontist on handling all our insurance submission paperwork so well. I complimented my chiropractor on how amazing it is that he understands the body so well to truly help us with our physical pain.

Giving out nice words and nice feelings in a day makes both your day and theirs a little better. And somehow, I think it opened me up to being mindful of the effort it takes others and myself to accomplish our own jobs. While I would play down my own artistic talent, I can appreciate the effort it takes to pull of the luncheon party I did last week. And the Halloween night festivities. And the daily running of the lives and needs in my household while also indulging myself in playing and self-care.It's Nice to be Nice to the Nice on Shalavee.com

As Frank Burns gushed guiltily over his commander’s cheerleader girlfriend, “It’s nice to be nice to the nice.” And the more happy karma you dump into the world, the more will come back to you. Respecting and thanking yourself for your efforts and your world will allow you to know that your life is worth living. And make a greater joyous impact on the world in the end. Ain’t nothing wrong with a life well-lived.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your email box. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest  too. I am always practicing Intentional In-touchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

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