search
top

Listless

Last week was like a test week for me, not that all the weeks haven’t tested me but it felt most certainly that way. I’ve just been unable to get enough separate time and that starts to eat away at my personality. I was feeling wobbly and sad last week. We had moment after moment of upset with the kids and I began to leak hope.

And then a woman on Instagram wrote that she now understood what the word “Listless” meant. I am without focus for myself. I have been so bust throughout this “crisis” making sure everyone else has been OK and taken care of that I just ran out of myself. An author named Anniki Sommerville wrote a book called Motherwhelmed which looks to be a funny and empowering read on the feelings of worthlessness that often accompany motherhood.listless on Shalavee.com

Towards my recovering and restoring myself, last week I dyed my roots and cut my bangs. And repainted my toenails. However, what I need is to truly demand more time being alone. That’s what energizes me. And reinstate my favorite boundary establishing phrase, “I’m sorry that you feel that way but I have to do this for me”. Used that to break up with the “boyfriend that wouldn’t leave”. I have also signed up for a week of a meditational exercise with Michelle GD that includes list making called Just Five Things. Looking forward to creating a new perspective and a new community.

The hardest part is to suspend the self-judgement. I need to start my exercise regiment back and that’s going to be inspired by the new running shoes that I ordered. One day at a time. That is how my 100 day project is progressing. And that is how we will get out of this 2020 debacle of pandemic craziness. Thoughtfully. Carefully. Determined.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Shaking Our Proclivity for Productivity

Whether it comes from a “Protestant Work Ethic”adopted by the Western world or the American Dream Seekers defining themselves through their Productivity, it’s still here and it’s exhausting and outdated. We’re at home against our will and still we can’t just BE.

I think there needs to be a time, a moment when you have been productive enough. Being helpless makes people want to be in control of things. For me that looks like doing laundry, cleaning, and cooking. Knowing that I have fulfilled all my care-taking duties to the best and most of my abilities.

And then there’s a point when I need to just be a human being, not a human doing.

I need to read a book. I need to do a home manicure on myself. I need to light a candle and write in my journal. Anything that feels like I am being me, with me, and for me. These are the things that may seem indulgent or selfish but will fill my tanks instead of deplete them more.

When have we been productive enough? Is experiencing burnout and breakdown worth that much productivity. Or can we cease the self-judgment and self-bullying just long enough to enjoy just being ourselves. Enjoy being a human being for 15 minutes everyday. That’s the healing I think we all need to gift ourselves with. What other choice do we truly have in light of the lack of busyness?

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Gearing Up For the Christmas Crazies

The holidays are here. I told my husband last night that I feel like a blender without enough liquid. It groans as it tries to blend the contents and becomes bogged down and then it begins to make a high pitch whirring noise as the blades are spin below the contents.

It is the nature of the time of year. This sudden burst of busyness feels a little like September after a hot lazy Summer. You can see it coming but you still feel caught unprepared. Except with the holidays, there’s production value to consider and scheduling snafus lurking.

I’m the sort of person who can not install my Christmas tree until the month at least hits double digits. And this year, I’d dearly like a different decorating theme. Good luck with that Shalagh.

But if Thanksgiving was any indication of how my Christmas will go, it’ll be smooth and lovely. I just need to make double dog sure that I spend intentional time this month taking care of ME. Because even though you are an event planner this month, you are the only one who can sit you down in a coffee shop with a friend for a nice long leisurely catch up. Hurry up and make that date!

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

KIndness

Why is it we think that we assume other people will suck? That they’ll be mean to us if we ask them for a hand or a hot shot. Why are we so surprised when we are rewarded with humanity.

I have recently noticed that when I present myself to the world with a glad and kind heart, a smile and a wave, and a little more confidence than I used to have, I am rewarded with the same. In fact, my kindness expands as I give it out. I touch them with the flame and they light up.

Kindness is the gift that keeps on giving. It costs nothing yet it is so valuable as it spreads exponentially expanding in heart after heart. 

The final frontier for many of us is practicing kindness with ourselves. To be as gentle and compassionate as we would with an animal, with ourselves. That kindness is what the world needs most of all.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

What 2018 Taught Me

I felt like I was making great strides in growing myself last year, 2018. I was feeling more sure of what my creativity was giving me both personally and perhaps professionally. I offered up a Wholehearted Living piece to a writer friend’s blog. And I started to create my own theory on the inverse relationship of creativity and anxiety. I felt a rhythm was coming.

And then I suffered an anxiety setback that set me reeling. I abandoned my aspirations and hunkered down to ride out the storm. And I took myself to the doctor’s and asked for medicinal help. Because pain is your body telling you that it needs help.What 2018 Taught Me on Shalavee.com

Why had I waited so long, I asked the doctor. He said “Stigma”. I had made it my goal trying to prove that anxiety can be conquered by therapy and creativity. And I was admitting I was wrong. I felt defeated and yet, once I had the medication cooking, I felt the hope of perhaps finally moving from a stuck place. And 9 months later, I was right. I have grieved my ego loss and moved on to what was beyond. Possibilities don’t feel like burdens of tasks I’m unable to do but rather hopes for a fun future.

Last year taught me that you have to do whatever it takes to take care of yourself. You have to ask for help and sometimes, give up and do something different. And you are the only one who can make the best decisions for you. Even if those decisions are hard to make. Because I think the hardest part of making a decision is making the decision. After that it’s just following through and seeing what happens next.What 2018 Taught Me on Shalavee.com

My wish for 2018 for myself was for perspective, safety, joy, inspiration, value, chances, strength, hope, and comfort. And “to live within my creative zone often enough to keep me joyful, true to myself, and to be able to appreciate this action and the interaction with my fellow people who know the truth of me.” I’d say that I fulfilled most of those intentions and then some last year. I feel creatively satiated and held by a growing community and I am trusting that I will take care of me in the coming years.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

« Previous Entries

top