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The Recipe for a Solid Self

So many how to be happy books flood the market making happiness almost seem like a product people are selling that is too good to be true. I can say Happiness is all it’s cracked up to be but it’s also a very personal journey, not one anyone can magically give you. And I’m sure that any one of these books, or no books at all, will be helpful in you creating your happy life if you get down and do the homework and create the building blocks of making your happiness your project and your process. You are in charge of your own recipe.

I have this theory that our healthy selves are composed of some basic ingredients. As in your own kitchen where you need to stock the basics of flour, sugar, and yeast to make bread that will rise, I think there are some basic components we need to grow. And the first that comes to mind is Self-trust.The recipe for a solid self on Shalavee.com

I don’t think I truly understood it’s importance until I acknowledged the great chasm in me where it was missing. I was so anxious sometimes, I could feel like I was falling. I was unhappy pretending to be happy. And I wondered what I needed to “fix”. In fact, l was sorely lacking in self-trust.

What I needed was to have own my back. To know that I was reliable when I made promises to myself. That I would keep myself safe and take care of my needs above others’. Those are a few of the components of self-trust, signs that self-trust is present. Knowing that if you make a decision, it was the best you were capable of making at the moment and that good enough is acceptable.The recipe for a solid self on Shalavee.com

Gaining this self-knowledge is work. I suppose you have to first decide if you’re worthy of the work. Somehow I always knew my inner girl was worth it. One exercise that I found that has helped me tremendously is the Five Acknowledgements one. Maybe not daily, but at least several times a week, I write a list of the top five things that I have accomplished recently. It could be tasks or realizations or fears I’ve overcome. It can even just be acknowledgements of feelings I’m having. And somehow, this practice, much like a gratitude journal, has helped me keep an eye on my value and progress. And I can say my tin of self-trust is filling regularly.

What are the other bins filled with in my kitchen/arsenal ? Perspective, creativity, and compassion perhaps. If we don’t have our own definitions of what it means to be the person we want or what it looks like to live with purpose or passion, how do we know when we are engaged in living it ? Might seem daunting but I guarantee, once you decide what it is that you need to live with fulfillment and light, you will want to do this work to get there. One step at a time is all it takes.

If you enjoyed what you read, please subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your email box. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional In-touchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Battling Against the Becoming

I am the caterpillar inching my way along fueled by the promise of flying one day. But all that potential to fulfill that flight is so scary. Everyone will be watching me! Maybe the beautiful butterfly that I could become is poisonous and very dangerous … to others and myself. And so, I fight the becoming, eschew the wings, and ignore the chrysalis phase. And moan and wail as I see others flying by.

I chatter at myself, trying to pick the lock of myself. I query and banter, I call out and disagree. I cancel and ask for permission and still I can not seem to relinquish the fear that grips me around doing what I “have to do”, Supposed to Vs. Want. What must I do to bring down these defenses and make my life a fearless siege of what I want to do. battling against the becoming on Shalavee.com

I come back to my vision, my plan for my future. A summary of what I believe (a book) and sharing these thoughts with others (speaking engagements and magazine pieces). It all sounds so noble and doable. My heart on my sleeve and everyone chanting “Yes !”… while I search the crowd for the one person who’s going to lunge out and reveal my shortcomings, my illegitimacy, and my lack of pedigree. And I just beat them to the punch by not walking the walk didn’t I?

This is between me and me. I’m standing in my way. I’m coaxing and cajoling, I’m berating and stating, and still I stand here. And then there’s the little voice that says run while she’s not looking. Pull the band-aid off quickly! Just do it and then over think it. Knuckle down and fake the passion because whatever you are avoiding is usually the one thing you truly need to do. battling against the becoming on Shalavee.com

Hope you can figure out how to get out of your own way. Lemme know your tricks please.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your email box. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest  too. I am always practicing Intentional In-touchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

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You Will Be Your Own Destiny

I am going through a rough patch right now. It’s a quagmire of doubt I regularly like to reroute myself through. I decided to try to just stay and wait it out, to witness myself and try not to rush in to judge or fix. I know I need to remember my purpose, my destiny and then this morning I woke up with this in my head.

 

 

 

You will be your own destiny and your own reason why.”

 

 

And so, I resigned myself once again to searching again for the breadcrumbs I have left for myself. The clues as to who I think I am and want to be and the Why. That seems to elude me over and over. And as I searched my breadcrumbs, I found this proclamation. I share it as a way of showing you my process, proving my humanity, and resolving in public to once again keep going for me and for everyone who may benefit.

You will be your own destiny on Shalavee.com

I believe that I have a light that shines brightly. That this light is different, unique to me. My light is meant to keep shining so that others can benefit from the hope that it brings them and that this light will keep guiding me towards a better brighter happier version of me. When I’m ready, I always move on. And when others are ready, they/anyone can join with me in the belief that their creativity and voice can make a difference even if it’s just to themselves. I believe my belief influences and augments other people’s beliefs. And that this process I’m describing is non-negotiable.”

As Summer rolls on in, I feel encouraged that I have time set aside for my uninterrupted creativity so that I can pursue what this light needs to be shining on right now. I am thinking that I can commit again to a video series and I think I know the very first topic I want to speak on. Witnessing. Be it witnessing our friends, our family, animals in nature, or ourselves as we struggle and can not “fix” or “save” but just to hold a presence there.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your email box. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest  too. I am always practicing Intentional In-touchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

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The Writing Lull During a Creative Burst

I have been at odds with myself recently in that I haven’t really wanted to write. I acknowledge that I am both a creative, equally prioritizing the visual and the verbal parts of me. I like when I go through a prolific phase of writing and it happens often enough to expect it. But there has been a writing radio silence of recent.

This week, I hosted a small creativity challenge and that’s been very satisfying. Unlike during previous challenges, I wasn’t nervous about what I was going to do every day. I would just get up to my craft room and let it flow. And I began to think today that perhaps the two parts of my brain know that they need to take turns. That there’s periods of contemplation and graduation that need to happen before better work can emerge.The writing lull during a creative burst on Shalavee.com

Where my visually creative self is like my inner child playing, my verbal side is like my inner parent always figuring out the next understanding and plan through my words. I find out who I am and what I think by writing. And perhaps I am entering a phase that is more like an inner Adult at work.

I see a bigger picture emerging. I am watching myself from afar doing what I’m doing. I’m seeing what the next step is, I’m considering my whys and my ways and then I’m hoping that I will feel empowered into action on what I see to be the next direction that will make me happy. The writing lull during a creative burst on Shalavee.com

I’m just winging it here but I am truly sure that following my intuition and listening to my own needs to write or create is the only way that I will not only truly trust myself, but will also help me navigate the best way through my life.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter orPinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

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Your Worth and Your Community

It keeps coming up in my life, the importance of community to me. Aside from the understanding of community’s importance to our survival, where many hands guarantee we will eat and sleep safely under shelters, community is a place to find our own personal worth. That my gift to my community, however small, is still very important. My efforts are never without impact or purpose. It’s only in valuing this that the circle is completed. That the community itself is a life force, an entity that holds the people within, each with their own cog of the wheels that turn.

When you belong to a club, a church, or a group, you often join in the middle of its history. People with like minds and similar loves have come before and worked to create a place for me to belong. A “cloud of witnesses” is around us cheering us on to fulfill our purposes, do what we need to do, be together doing it.

And the notion that we are never alone but as a civilization of communities tied together, there’s a butterfly effect. Each of us unwittingly influences the other. In how we spread our thoughts, our generosity, our kindness, our smiles. How we live out loud with integrity and vulnerability to give another person courage. This is our gift to our communities and to the world.worth in your community on Shalavee.com

To be our best selves and to model what it looks like to be human and fallible and present. That each person has an inherent worth , a nobility of existence that in recognizing it’s value, rises the concept of community to a new level. That is the community I see myself belonging to. Will you join me?

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter orPinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

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