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What Do You Truly Believe About You?

In the bathroom moments ago, I was thinking about what I was going to be doing today. And what are the possibilities (endless). And suddenly I was aware of what I think of my capabilities. Am I the sort of person who can restructure her life to make more important projects happen? Like writing a book? Hold the answer because that instant is when the magic, or the damnation sentencing happens. What you believe is what happens. Mostly.

What we believe in ourselves is what we will create. I ask you, what do you believe about yourself? What do you believe you are capable of? And that immediate answer is your life. Did you hear a negative answer? An “I can’t” in that moment? I then ask, how can that be OK? How can any of us let another day go by for ourselves knowing that our limiting beliefs are OK? And that we are modeling that for our daughters.What Do You Truly Believe About You? on Shalavee.com

So what should we/you do? Anything and everything to take a look at that. To question and refute the message you are settling for that it’s OK if you believe you have no power or have a gift to give. Because that’s such crap. We all have specific and unique talents and qualities that the world needs from us. That our families and friends already value in us. And I believe that it is our most important job to allow the world to benefit from this. To find a way to struggle through to understand our purpose here and stand hard on it.What Do You Truly Believe About You? on Shalavee.com

I have always been intrigued that even though I had the lowest of self-esteem, I still somehow knew that I had enough value to continue to struggle to rise. The faith to believe in my inherent worth. Because truly, if you are a Believer or not, how is it that we are not created equally. How is it possible that we somehow know with certainty that our worth is less than any other miraculous human being. That, my dear friends, is the first refutable lie on the way to finding out what you truly can believe in yourself.

If you enjoyed what you read, please subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your email box. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional In-touchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

What Are We Writing For ?

I know a lot of writers. All different sorts of types of writing. I can’t say I’ve read all their stuff because I haven’t but I respect them. All of their hard work and their dedication to what they need to express in their writing is very impressive. Devotion to self-expression is impressive.

And I wonder, what are they writing for?

They know why they are writing and what fuels them. Maybe it’s catharsis. Or to figure something out. To add their unique phrasing and ideas to the world and be authentic within it. Or to hear themselves talk.What Are We Writing For ? on Shalavee.com

Maybe they’re proving to their father that they truly can follow through, they do have talent. Or they don’t feel real to themselves unless they’re writing, that maybe they’re invisible until they see their typing on a page.

Each of us has a story to tell and a reason to tell it. I don’t think it’s important to know anyone else’s Why but my own. I write to find out what I have to say and how I feel about things, my world, and you. And I am addicted to the writing process and the self-discovery.What Are We Writing For ? on Shalavee.com

And I’m writing on behalf those who feel they don’t have a voice. For those who feel invisible and unheard. I write for the girl I used to be and to help you become who you need to be.

I write to exist and I exist to write.

 

If you enjoyed what you read, please subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your email box. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional In-touchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Self Creation by Avoidance of What you Fear You’ll Become

I was washing dishes this morning and it occurred to me that I may actually be basing my journey of becoming me on not wanting to be certain qualities. That I’m attempting to become myself by avoiding becoming something else. And that struck me as kinda stupid.

Where I’d agree, knowing what you don’t want is as important as knowing what you do want, I think becoming by avoidance sounds like fear may be driving. And once fear is in the driver’s seat, your public transportation vehicle is then careening all over the road because fear doesn’t make good rational decisions and doesn’t heed the rules.

Because I don’t want to make the same mistakes my parents did” might sound like a reasonable excuse not to start a family but it’s not on the up and up. It’s completely excluding all the benefits of having that kind of love in your life and adding it to the world.Creating Yourself By What You Don't Want to Be on Shalavee.com

These are the “don’t want to’s” that are gumming up my works. I don’t want to start something I can’t finish. I don’t want to seem to be some kinda of know-it-all when I’m not. I don’t want to act like/be perceived as a narcissist. I don’t want to make anything I’m doing about money. I don’t want to make anything more important than my children. My fear has all the bases covered for making no progress with very pragmatic sounding excuses.

We all have the final power to create and recreate ourselves and our stories all the time. But fear-based self creation serves no one. If I pursue my passions and my children miss me for a night or two while I take care of my project or am out-of-town, that will make us all appreciate each other more. If I limit my reach and my connections with the wider world because I’m afraid of taking on too much, I’ll dial it back when it begins to be too much.Creating Yourself By What You Don't Want to Be on Shalavee.com

Staying small has never benefited anyone. And people who believe in who I am and what I am saying will also get my true intentions and my integrity. Those who don’t, won’t. Perhaps it’s those exact people I need to have faith in to guide me through my fear decisions and tell me the truth. Because my friends and family know I can even when I don’t think I can. I want to know what they already do.

If you enjoyed what you read, please subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your email box. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional In-touchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Living With the Constant Assumption That I’m Doing it Wrong

Living with the constant assumption that I am doing it wrong is exhausting. Such an unsettling daily diet of mixed thoughts. After a daily uncertainty of what it was I liked and who I was mingled with the importance of others’ opinions of me and what it takes to be “cool”, my brain would overload and short-circuit. Sometimes before noon.

So with nothing else to lose, I slowly started to renovate my mind.

I tossed out caring about the approval of others and replaced it with “does it make me happy”? This was a cold turkey people pleasing cessation but it worked.Living With the Constant Assumption That I'm Doing it Wrong on Shalavee.com

I chose to truly listen to what others said were my good qualities and began to build knowledge of who I was whom I liked. And I now pay attention to the things that I am passionate about which then show me what purpose I may have, what people I need in my life, and what direction is most likely to make me happy.

I am still shy of thinking I am cool. I would like to adopt my cocky teenage self back into my life. She was at least good at playing the bad-ass. She may have faked it pretty good but sometimes that’s the best next step until the real thing hits us.

You have no assets, talents, abundance, or inherent worth unless you think you do. People can continue to insist you have these things but until you believe you have them, you don’t. Self-worth equates to what you value in you and then you get to have fun sharing these goodies and mingling them with others’ worth and talents, not vice versa.Living With the Constant Assumption That I'm Doing it Wrong on Shalavee.com

Cleaning up your nonsensical outdated modes of thought takes time and effort, Yes. But the value that this effort brings to your life is rather almost immeasurable. I am more solid, less twitchy. I don’t feel compelled to honor others’ opinions over my own, just be open to them.

So far, I’d say my renovation is going pretty well. And all it cost me was being open to replace the stuff that was broken anyway. It’s not “easy” but there’s nothing worth committing to more than yourself (your lousy for others without a solid you) however long it takes to shift to seeing yourself as the person you are and are meant to be. You just need to allow for the possibility of change.

If you enjoyed what you read, please subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your email box. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional In-touchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

The Recipe for a Solid Self

So many how to be happy books flood the market making happiness almost seem like a product people are selling that is too good to be true. I can say Happiness is all it’s cracked up to be but it’s also a very personal journey, not one anyone can magically give you. And I’m sure that any one of these books, or no books at all, will be helpful in you creating your happy life if you get down and do the homework and create the building blocks of making your happiness your project and your process. You are in charge of your own recipe.

I have this theory that our healthy selves are composed of some basic ingredients. As in your own kitchen where you need to stock the basics of flour, sugar, and yeast to make bread that will rise, I think there are some basic components we need to grow. And the first that comes to mind is Self-trust.The recipe for a solid self on Shalavee.com

I don’t think I truly understood it’s importance until I acknowledged the great chasm in me where it was missing. I was so anxious sometimes, I could feel like I was falling. I was unhappy pretending to be happy. And I wondered what I needed to “fix”. In fact, l was sorely lacking in self-trust.

What I needed was to have own my back. To know that I was reliable when I made promises to myself. That I would keep myself safe and take care of my needs above others’. Those are a few of the components of self-trust, signs that self-trust is present. Knowing that if you make a decision, it was the best you were capable of making at the moment and that good enough is acceptable.The recipe for a solid self on Shalavee.com

Gaining this self-knowledge is work. I suppose you have to first decide if you’re worthy of the work. Somehow I always knew my inner girl was worth it. One exercise that I found that has helped me tremendously is the Five Acknowledgements one. Maybe not daily, but at least several times a week, I write a list of the top five things that I have accomplished recently. It could be tasks or realizations or fears I’ve overcome. It can even just be acknowledgements of feelings I’m having. And somehow, this practice, much like a gratitude journal, has helped me keep an eye on my value and progress. And I can say my tin of self-trust is filling regularly.

What are the other bins filled with in my kitchen/arsenal ? Perspective, creativity, and compassion perhaps. If we don’t have our own definitions of what it means to be the person we want or what it looks like to live with purpose or passion, how do we know when we are engaged in living it ? Might seem daunting but I guarantee, once you decide what it is that you need to live with fulfillment and light, you will want to do this work to get there. One step at a time is all it takes.

If you enjoyed what you read, please subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your email box. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional In-touchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

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