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Mothering For the Long Haul

I get the feeling that in the old days, people had kids to add more hands to the labor pool. The more bodies, the better to help plant, pick, and pickle. And yes, they were all jammed into small cabins on the prairie or in the hollow much like we are today. Welcome to our ancestral American Roots where you were lucky if you survived bizarre daily accidents and went on to procreate yourself. Mothering for the long haul on Shalavee.com

Fast forward to modern day 2020 and we have all been reduced to huddling in our prairie huts with our families riding out the viral storm, living the past in the present Laura Ingalls Wilder style.. This occasion gives the thinkers like me time to stop and consider who we are and what we think. And what I discovered about myself is that I am foremost, a mother. The well-being of my children physically and mentally is at the top of my everyday priority list. Yes it’s nice if they can haul in the groceries and unload the dishwasher but their mere existence is joy enough for me.Mothering for the long haul on Shalavee.com

So in the first couple weeks of our lock in, I was acting much like I did when we would take them as young children to the beach for a couple overnights. I’d end up worrying all night about if they were getting enough sleep and I’d get no sleep while they’d sleep like the babies they were. 

These first couple weeks of seclusion, I wanted to help my daughter to feel safe. I wanted to be there for her and lighten her load and not add to it. As Moms around the world were doing, I was thinking of the children first. Because I understand this better. Because I remember what it was like to not have my feelings be prioritized. Because I esteem them so that they will esteem them.Mothering for the long haul on Shalavee.com

But I also learned that they needed to grieve for the loss of their normal. They eventually would grieve in their own time and their own ways and I had to step back and be present and allow for this to happen. I can not take away their pain. They are entitled to it. It is theirs. But they also turned to me to feel safe to feel this grief. And that’s truly all we can do for our family and our friends, just witness all the craziness with them and know that soon, this will all be a nightmare.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

 

Clueless to Our Futures, Responsible For Our Nows

My near 15 year old is in the other room playing Scenes From an Italian Restaurant by Billy Joel, a song popular when I was 15 years old. And when I was a 15 year old, I really didn’t regard myself with much self-esteem and never could have foreseen being a mother to a gifted pianist.

We just don’t have a clue about what’s coming, do we? We can only do the next right thing; for ourselves, our children, and our community. We can choose choices we’re proud to have made alongside people we are proud to call our friends. Everything is an illusion.

We’re all kinda biding our time and treading water until our denied endings. But we can make the time in between mean more than spending and getting money. My life is me spinning all my wisdom into beautiful readable and view-able webs. And I don’t think there’s a nobler effort made anywhere than that of the artist expressing what it feels to be human.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

What Do You and I Expect From Shalavee in 2020

I’ve been keeping this on the down low but there’s really no going back so I might as well share it with you. The blog is actually (for reals) getting revamped. And I can not tell you how stuck and petrified I am.

See at 53, I am no longer eager and naive. I have been writing this blog for near 8 years and still have never had a new format or a bunch of readers. All I needed was just to have a place where I could practice writing and publish my thoughts several times a week. An online journal, as it were, where others could be inspired.

And it has been that way for many many years now. I do not have sponsors, I don’t do giveaways, and I don’t have a huge following. I could always blame it on my outdated platform and that way I’m excused from caring. But today I can tell you that I am progressing, like it or not. And I am scared.

I’m scared that I won’t have as much freedom to just not care. I’ll have to bring bigger and badder and start to care about numbers of followers and likes. But I’m here to tell you, I’m truly devoted to one thing; giving my readership what it has come here to receive.What Do You and I Expect From Shalavee in 2020 on Shalavee.com

To that end, I have decided that there are three categories that I truly love to talk about and ponder, besides just generally my life process which is a combo of all of the following. Those three categories are Creativity, Motherhood, and Self-Discovery & Anxiety. So if you are here because of any of these then Yayyyy! And if you are not then I’m curious what else I share that is of interest to my regular readership. Direct message me however you feel comfortable and let me know. Meanwhile, I have to go back to working on what I want to look like when I come out of the blog closet.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Are You a Noun or a Verb?

If I had to tell you what I would do when I grew up, I’d say “I’m going to be a Momma. I’m going to be an Artist. I’m going to be a Writer. And I’ll expect all of those things of myself that go along with being the best Momma Artist Writer that you think I can be. I mean I think I can be.”

Who gets to decide if you are what you say you are? Are you legitimate only when someone says you are, gives you a certificate or a diploma or an award? Because if the answer is anyone other than you deeming you legitimate, you’re screwed. You have no control over anyone or anything but what you do today.

An additional haphazard of self-definition is deciding what to base your definition on. Are you are a human being or your human doing? Are you a noun or a verb?

I say you are what you do daily. You are not your title but what you devote your time and energy to. You are the energy of your intentions.Are You a Noun or a Verb? on Shalavee.com

But maybe you are innately you at any given point and the doing is a distraction from yourself and being. You can try to do all the things to change our mind but we know who you are. Again, your insecurities about others’ opinions of you can render you hazy and scattered.

If focusing your intentions and efforts will bring you to what you want, I guess that makes me a human doing in the best way possible. I know that all I do makes me happy and purposeful. And besides, I think Mom is a verb anyway.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

The Invisible Duties of Mothers

I often have people remark that they see me doing a lot and they are impressed and/or shocked at how much I seem to get done. I wonder if they don’t recognize how much they accomplish too. And then recently it became clear that women often have many invisible life duties that add up to way more than an 8 hour day.

I feel like we women are often dutiful and humble, we just see what we do as necessary and move on. Yet there are so many tasks without which life would be uncivil and unkept. Besides the homekeeping, laundry, and meal cooking, I consider myself responsible for all knowledge and care of the children. Their whereabouts, transportation needs, playdates, extra curricular activities, and birthday party presents are mine to manage.The Invisible Duties of Mothers on Shalavee.com

Their bodies are ours to care for until they can do this themselves. Clean clothing that fits and is seasonally appropriate and dentist, eye, and doctor appointments all fall within my realm of responsibility. And when my daughter comes of age, it will be me to show her how to navigate the not so niceties of being a woman.

We do ourselves and our daughters a disfavor by not acknowledging our accomplishments. We become invisible and taken for granted. I have had it happen to me. I must say though that I do enjoy much of what I do for my family. I dearly enjoy being a homebody and a parent and use all opportunities to be creative and make it fun and memorable.

The weaving of the rewards is then up to us to place in the layers between our goals and our duties as mothers. And we also need to ask for the gratitude and acknowledgment we do not receive in a paycheck. We need to see our own value and herculean efforts and model self-worth for the young women we are raising who will perhaps take on a role like ours in heir futures.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

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