Feb 28, 2013
Sometimes stuff just doesn’t work out the way you and your sonogram technician have planned it. I thought she was crazy when she said I was due on February 27th. And today I wanted to apologize to her. I am now overdue for having this baby make his/her exit from my body.
I feel as if I’m living in some alternate universe fantasy land. While everyone around me frets about their schedules permitting the delivery date, I have no choice but to sit her and wait. And try not to feel nauseous.
I am completely done with being this way, of course. And rather tired of the line all are compelled to deliver. “Get yourself to the hospital and deliver that baby already, will ya?” If I could I would people. But baby delivering is one of those acts of nature that our wills have no apparent control over.
Seems everyone has a helpful hint on how they think I should hurry this process up. A kind Italian man offered today, “Make up a nice dish of angel hair pasta tossed with olive oil (region not specified) with some oregano (not too much cause it can be strong) and then take a nice long walk.” The walk’s a perennial favorite. And has absolutely no effect on baby conjuring.
Only one thing can effect the onset of childbirth and it’s a special hormone the body releases when it’s decided the popper has popped. Physicians can also introduce that hormone to the cervix to “let the games begin”. That’s called induction and is what I’m scheduled for on Tuesday if this weekend doesn’t produce babe in arms. It would seem that the placenta has an expiration date.
And as one last act of craziness, I wanted to record a video of me in this unbelievable state. The first attempt was thwarted when equipment and software wouldn’t cooperate. On borrowed time, I re-recorded myself sharing the thoughts on this pregnancy and last year I felt were most important. And then a “fatal error has occurred to thwart me again. So visit my Facebook page here.
TURN THE SOUND WAY UP BEFORE YOU PRESS PLAY as I talk softly in the beginning.
I appreciate you giving me whatever break you can here and know that I’m doing it all for the love of the art and the family.
Thanks for all your generous support and kind thoughts. I look forward to sharing the next chapters as they unfold.
Dec 31, 2012
As of a year and a half ago, I still couldn’t see why I should join Facebook or communicate with people I hadn’t seen in a long while. I was living in a lonely dull shell that I was used to. I thought, “What could I say that they’d want to hear? So long and far away from our pasts, what did I have to offer them that they would want? And why would I want to make friends with people I couldn’t see? Worse, maybe they’ll all scorn my advances.”
This would be the deafening roar of low self-esteem. As I started to turn the volume down and began to reach out to people everywhere, I connected with old friends and made new ones too. And suddenly, where I was used to being a little cold and lonely, I’m now hanging out in a warm shiny happy room with a mutual appreciation club full of people. Community is there in that room that you create in your hearts. You furnish it with well wishes and compassion and care. And it nurtures the creative.
I am so extraordinarily grateful for this growing group of people in my life and I thought my New Year’s Eve shout out would be to everyone I’ve reconnected and befriended this year. To Sarah, Nalisa, Melissa, Sian, Gwen, and Dig, you all have been in my heart for a long long time. And to my new blogging and online friends and acquaintances Kathy, Amy, Amanda, Tania, Amy, Jane, Maria, Sandra, Jennifer, Wendy, Sheryl, and the kind people on Twitter who address me like I’ve got something to say worth acknowledging ( and anyone who I’m forgetting, you’ll pardon my brain), I am truly grateful for all your well wishes and wonderful support. I never knew what I was missing and you have crafted my definition of gratitude.
And thank you to the powers that be for gifting me with a belly baby to share with my family, friends, and the world. Hope is a mighty powerful thing.
Love and Happiness for the new Year,
Nov 28, 2012
My fabulous e-course teacher Holly Becker had asked for her students comments on her Blogging Your Way E-course during October 2012. As the window for enjoying the workshop resources is about to shut, I thought it time to deliver my letter. And feel complete.
Several weeks ago, I had just listened to your last podcast for Blogging Your Way Bootcamp and typed a few notes sitting in front of my fireplace Jeanette style. I was sad to know the end of camp was near yet inspired. Per your request, I have gathered my bouquet of thoughts and am giving them to you here.
First, I am overwhelmed by the sincere sentiment and supportive-ness of your teaching style. Many aspire to teach and motivate and these talents come naturally to you. You’re a nice girl with no hidden agendas while you’re just enough of a tough nut to keep your students hustling. I smiled when you would giggle to yourself over a thought you’d expressed.
Your tenacity to earn and achieve is inspirational and frightening, yet your kindness and generosity don’t undermine your strength. I was blown away and empowered when you talked about making money on your blog and how men would never apologize or ask for permission, why do women? I haven’t felt the entitlement to earn for my talent but calling this blockage the spade it is had me looking into its evil eye. Nothing comes that you don’t believe is due you.
I had read a post where you described having type-A burnout. I now have a better understanding of what got you through as you challenged yourself using the negative voices as almost a dare. Happily, you’ve offered the greatest blogger’s permission: if it’s not fun then don’t do it. You very honestly said, “Do you really need to crank out a post today? Here are the organizational tools to do your very best and then let go of the rest”. Thanks for this borrowed permission.
Although many of your students are not creating visual design blogs, your visuals are gratifying. I found that I’d never thought of placing nice pictures unrelated to my subject. My verbal and visual sides were separated by pragmatism and logic. Creativity isn’t pragmatic and blogging is a creative process when we allow ourselves the luxury. Your course has opened up unimagined options for me to join these two sides together.
My greatest gift from Decor 8’s Blogging Your Way Bootcamp is a better overview of where I am and want to go next. I earned confidence in my authentic voice and know my blog is grounded by this voice. And I feel confident that I’m right where I need to be and have the talent, smarts, and resources to figure the rest out as I go. (All printable materials are in a binder and post-it noted for areas of improvement and study.)
There’s a lot to learn and I have time to learn it, even as I interrupt all of this in February with the birth of a miraculous child. Foremost, I am proud of myself for showing up regularly at the camp, on my blog, and for learning new technologies and slowly making blog friends.
Am I having fun? I think I am. Do I wish I was further along? Yes, of course. But blogging, like life, is a process not a destination.
The hope has rubbed off. And I am grateful.