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What if You Did it All Right But You Were Looking at it All Wrong

It’s not as if I don’t try. As Sara Bareilles sings in her song Armor, “You make me try, try, try, try … it’s all I ever do.” But what if the efforts you make are good, it’s just your expectations of what you can humanly accomplish are off ? What if you’re so used to never getting it right and never doing enough that you can’t see how much you’ve accomplished. You can’t see the forest for all the trees.

You know I’m talking about myself. When am I not?

I have been told many times by many wonderful people that they are amazed at how much I seem to accomplish. I have admittedly called myself the Energizer Bunny and written here that my coping mechanism is Industrious Over-focused. But what I wasn’t understanding was why their view of my accomplishments wasn’t the same theirs.

What would I give up if I acknowledged all that I do? The concept that I’m failing at life? The constant definition of me as a failure? Jeeze Louise! How is it possible to be so attached to the negative self-definition of not enough that you keep creating ways to prove it?What if You Did it All Right But You Were Looking at it All Wrong ? on Shalavee.com

Smaller goals and smaller celebrations for smaller progress. This is the way I see myself truly making progress that I can acknowledge. Because if all I have is today to live, than the acceptable celebrate-able enoughness of my efforts needs to happen today. Not “next time”. Not “when I have more time”. I need to work in a way that I can appreciate my efforts and feel proud of them in small ways.

I will continue to work hard. But instead of always dangling the carrot so that I can never reach it, perhaps I need to change it to a rutabaga. Or place it in my hand to begin with and then move on to the work. I don’t need to change my systems as much as my vision. It’s all in the way we look at it.

Change nothing and nothing changes.

Wisdom gained is only as wise as it is applied.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Mindmapping My Goals for 2020

I was feeling inevitably untethered in the first days of the New Year. I had produced an amazing heartfelt soulfulfilling holiday experience. And now it was time to pack it up and move on. I grieved for a little while and then I began to search for a way out. And what I found was a way to creatively look toward the new year: Mindmapping my upcoming year’s goals.

In my previous post A Little Post Christmas Blues , I said I’d show my work. Here’s the YouTube video that inspired me to do this. Her name is Taylor, she lives in Texas, and goes by Tattoedteacherplans on Instagram. She’s planner crazy apparently which I’m not but she’s doing what she loves!

 

 

I chose to skip whatever preliminary work she talks about. I was just stealing her format. But it was fun to listen to her discuss how she was thinking about her year and to watch the sped up film of her making the map.

My categories were Self/Health, Creative Play, Financial, Life Work/Career, and Spiritual. I listed those and took a couple days to fill in the ways in which I wanted to expand and grow in these areas. And the criteria was that I needed to feel good and hopeful and happy about everything I put on this map. Nothing that I felt I “should” do was going on there. And here’s the finished product.

Mindmapping my goals for 2020 on Shalavee.com

I was going to call this post “Nothing Changes on New Years Day (Unless You Want It To)” because honestly, that’s the truth. I get to decide what this year will feel like. I’m intuiting my life because doing what I think I should just messes me up. I am asking for help in the places I need it and will keep this map where I can see and stay on track with these intentions. I’ll keep you apprised as I tend them and grow with them. The goal is always to keep the doubts at bay and build the self-trust always.

Thank you for keeping an eye on me lovely people. Doing the best I can and am thinking that it’s pretty darn great!

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

 

A Little Post Christmas Blues

Yesterday, began the first full week back to school after the winter holidays. And I was feeling a sudden bout of post-holiday-partum. We celebrated a beautiful holiday with surplus time spent with family eating sumptuous food. I coordinated the event to end all events, because we are all event planners at Christmas. And now I have to strip it all apart. Dismantle the happiness. And then I have to re-purpose myself. Ack!

To find some inspiration, I began to poke around Instagram, clicking on hashtags in curiosity. And I fell upon a woman creating a beautiful mind map which listed all of her different categorized goals for the year. And I said, yes to that idea because art and purpose! Of course, I got halfway through and my family descended on me. But there’s something about being midway through a project that makes you excited to go back to it. I’ll show you more as it progresses. I promise.

I was floundering for a little while there until I intuited a creative way out. I get to decide what I want to have fun accomplishing in 2020. Because, as my husband says, if you are not having fun, you’re not doing it right. So here’s to fun and creativity in 2020 and connecting and creating with my community in more and more ways!

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Stillness Thoughts in a New Year

The stillness of the house is like a pond in a winter’s morning. It beckons me to sit and just listen to the tick of the clock like a cricket in the weeds. Instead of leaping up and jumping in, I sat down and napped in the yawning silence. I haven’t had time to myself in a week and a half.

I organized my linen closet yesterday because I asked for new towels for Christmas. I filled three trash bags full of stuff I don’t need anymore or maybe never needed. A white matelasse bedspread I’ll never use as well as old towels and curtains. The new year’s purge has begun and halted.Stillness Thoughts in a New Year

I am standing slightly timid at the possibility to actually create a year that I want to live instead of shoving myself through the motions of a year I think I Ought to be living. I want a year of coulds instead of shoulds. When I hear the sole bird singing in the morning hours, he is singing for the possibilities.

Guided by my word for 2019, Focus, I will sift through my life’s leftover belongings purposefully searching for my possibilities and ditching the forced goals of 2018. I will acknowledge my fears and query my worries and entertain my what ifs. And I will slather myself with heaps of compassion during the process.Stillness Thoughts in a New Year

I am considering how I want my blog to serve me instead of me being enslaved by it. So excuse the tardiness of my post today as I gather and test my thoughts.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

What Self-Care May also Look Like

It feels like I’m just now coming out of the tale-spin of the holidays, more first of the year obligations, and the winter illnesses that somehow have besieged us at the same time. All the gorgeous clarity and connectedness of my writing and intention work has joined so many other forgotten goals and projects and they’re piled in a conceptual corner of my soul’s hallway. I see them but have forgotten how and why they even ended up there.

The purpose and brilliance of my forgotten goals and projects have been lost in the shuffle that is life.

Spells of over-obligation, stress, and fear create piles of unattended to stuff. And if you are an overachiever, or industrial overfocuser, you may have even more leftover undone stuff that is piled in that corner of the hall which now has a force-field around it. You assume the pile is untouchable since it’s been there so long. And at the very moment when you are weighing the importance of the contents of that pile, consider cleaning up that pile may be an act of self-care.What Self-Care May also Look Like on Shalavee.com

Sometimes self-care looks like long hot showers, smelly candles, an hour of uninterrupted reading, binge watching videos of choice, or getting a manicure. Sometimes, for me, it’s having hours to myself to think and write (thus creating this pile of thoughts and dreams I abandoned). And sometimes self-care is getting to the very thing that’s bugging you most and making a decision on it once and for all.

Being your own parent and putting yourself to the “hard tasks” can be the most relieving caring thing you can do for you. Telling another person how you truly feel as kindly as possible can be one. Cancelling the gym membership that was supposed to motivate you and make you feel better and now just makes you feel like a failure. Because it’s now Spring and self-care can actually look like a walk in the park. What can you do to make your soul lighter today?What Self-Care May also Look Like on Shalavee.com

Today, I’m catching up on writing blog posts, and that creativity feels like self-care. I called to make a doctor’s appointment for something that may or may not be something I need to be worried about. I made a hair appointment and a date for drinks. And I ate very healthily for lunch after a nice long walk in the sunshine. And in a little while, I’m going to begin to dig out that pile in the corner of my soul’s hallway. Self-care is serious business and I want to know I did right by myself at the end of the day. That I am not the pile of unattended stuff in the corner thank you.

If you enjoyed what you read, please subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your email box. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional In-touchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

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