Admittedly,
when I assembled the hopeful attendees for my Meet-up Group (which
turned 2 years old in March), I wanted them to say “yes” because
I looked forward to getting to know each of them better. And my
wishes were surpassed when they said yes and I felt perhaps I had a
good idea not just for my benefit but everyone’s.
I
was right of course. Women need to hear what other women feel and
think so that they can feel more normalized. We want to hear that
we’re not alone. We want to know what other people are doing about
their similar problems, especially when it has to do with our women’s
bodies.
We
became closer at each meet-up. We understood each other more. We
trusted our group to bring and discuss our meatier issues. One woman
became my contact person for my kid’s school. We met for coffee or
drinks on a few occasions and I knew we could call on each other if
there were a crisis.
As
much as I wanted to selfishly keep our group the same, I also knew
that we would all benefit from an influx of new energy and
intelligence. And so this past Sunday, we met again with several new
faces and a few absences of our regulars. And what we find again is
that we are intelligent women just wanting to talk about being us. We
want to make deeper talk, ask and hear opinions, and witness each
other in the safety of the group.
Our Hostess with the mostess Annie
As
it was Cinqo De Mayo, our hostess asked us to come with a thought on
revolution. I am all about that these days and offered that the
oppression we suffer from id often at our own hands. No one needs to
help us keep us down. We’ve got it under control ourselves worrying
about things that have nothing to do with our truest selves. My first
revolutionary step is to stop self-bullying.
If
you have attended gatherings but feel like it’s not for you, I get
it. Most of them are too superficial for me. I’m the kinda person
that is ready to talk about the real stuff and be witnessed in the
process. I encourage you to start your own meet-up and see if it
isn’t exactly what you were looking for. And let me know how it goes.
And
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please. I live for conversations.
When my son was little, if I saw he was doing something that would hurt himself intentionally, I’d say, “Don’t hurt my friend”. I say this to my daughter as well. The idea is that I care about them as much as I would a friend seems to be not as obligatory but a choice to care about them. I love each as a buddy and friend and as children.
The more I learn about self-care and self-trust, the more I know I need to teach my daughter how to self-soothe and be there for herself instead of looking for the comfort and acceptance outside herself through drugs, food, or sex perhaps. Seems such a simple concept yet no one ever pointed out my duty to take care of myself in this way.
And then the other day, I was explaining the bracelet on my wrist was my friendship bracelet to myself. That before I could be a good friend to anyone else, I needed to be my own friend first. And Fiona thought about this and agreed and said, “We can have our own Body Buddy.” I gasped at the simple brilliance of this concept and asked if I could use the phrase. She agreed to let me.
Imagine if we were all allowed and encouraged to be our own friends from when we were small. That this friendship would allow more self-compassion and thus less self-hatred. What if we didn’t hate our bodies and accepted our differences as beautiful? That we could then have more love and compassion for our fellow humans and less judgement because we knew ourselves well enough. Imagine the rooting of self-trust that would allow us to take bigger and better risks because we knew we always had our own backs in the end even if we failed.
The opposites of anxiety and depression is love and trust and connection. It makes complete sense that in giving our next generation solid sense of self and tolerance for our humanity, we are raising people who can make better decisions on behalf of humanity. If this is my only contribution, let it be the best I can give. Let my children know themselves and have faith in their own body buddy. Let my daughter be visible to herself and need no one to give her what she can give herself.
If you enjoyed what you read, please subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your email box. And visit me on Instagramto see my daily pictures, friend meor like my pageon Facebook. Or come find me on Twitteror Pinteresttoo. I am always practicing Intentional In-touchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.
Today was Fiona’s fourth birthday party and it was a complete success, by her standards and mine. Yes, she got enough Frozen themed party paraphernalia and stuff to satisfy all Frozen itches for a decade. And I got to bask in the knowledge that me and my daughter matter to all these lovely people.
The reason I go to such efforts to decorate and to heap yummy food on my kitchen table is a tribute to the love that these people have for and show me and my family. My gratitude runs very deeply. I am almost speechless but then, not quite, right?
Aunts and Uncles, real and respected, grandmothers, cousins, neighbors, friends, and kin came to celebrate my miraculous daughter’s birth four years ago. And in a puff and a whoosh, it’s all done. Only a dirty kitchen, drooping streamers, and falling balloons to tell the tale. But we’ll remember this fondly for many years. Another year passed and another successful party.
And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter orPinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.
In case you missed this announcement, as my blog may not have sent out my post correctly yesterday, I will be offering some of my work for sale at my friend Pama’s shop called Moonvine this weekend. I will be hanging out for part of the day so come just say hi!
Moonvine’s First Annual
Spring Open House
Saturday April 30, 1026
10 am – 4 pm
21 N. Harrison Street
Easton, Maryland
To see the post with all the pretty pictures, go here.
And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter orPinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.
Some friendships start due to proximity and then are maintained with intention. This is the story of my Hon friends and me.
We all worked together at the Cafe Hon in Baltimore, Maryland 20 years ago. We try to get together at least once a year and remember those times, ourselves, and the people we knew. We catch up on each others lives, listen to shared tragedies, and congratulate each other on our big choices.
To make all of this happen today, we took a road trip to go see our friend Rose and her fabulous kitchen shop in New Oxford, Pennsylvania called Red Bud House which she co-owns with her husband John Lansing.
Sorry Rose, the only picture of you both!
A short drive up route 30, aka Lincoln’s Highway, and we arrived at her lovely little old brick house where we toasted Rose and our visit, and she fed us a yummy pork, corn, and green chile chowder. And, of course, cherry pie.Rose knows the way to hearts. Yes, of course through our bellies. So yummy ! Thank you Rose.
These get-togethers are always so grounding. We remember another part of ourselves here. We laugh and reminisce. We compare aging body war notes. We give our condolences to one another. We are remembered by each other and now we are saying our goodbyes. Two of our group are moving away, one to Florida and the other to Oregon.
Thank you Rose, Terry, Martha, and Leslie, for your loyalty and love for me all of these years. You are dearhearts and I love you all.
(And PS it was nice to meet you Sharon and Robin!)
If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.
My name is Shalagh Hogan, pronounced Shay-La. I'm the mother of a teen, a seven year-old, and I turned 54 this year. This blog was born in 2011 and my hope and joy as a writer, an artist, and an uber-creative, is that by sharing my journey of self-discovery, others will gain inspiration and permission for their own journeys.
