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Doubt Storm

I’m not unfamiliar with the doubt storm. It was always stormy where I grew up. And yet thankfully, all the hard self-work I’ve done, all the trust and safety I’ve built within myself and all the amazing creative tasks I’ve taken on have brought me geegobs of self-esteem. I have started to hear “I can” in my ear.

Until I hit a doubt storm. Again. And then I wake up to a shipwreck on fear island and no understanding of how to leave. Little fear-lets sitting at my feet hungry for more stories about how I can’t and how scary the world is.Doubt Storm on Shalavee.com

Crises of confidence are commonplace for me. You’d think I’d have a steadfast plan for these times. A lever to pull in case of emergencies, a numbered step manual on what to do in case of an ego emergency. But it seems like I come fresh to the table every time with my lack of knowledge and loads of fear.

So I usually acknowledge it. I let it do its thing a little while, write a little in my journal, and call it the BS that it is. Then I go searching for ways to counterbalance it. To bring myself back up out of the fear muck and back to where I belong at the oars of my creativity craft taking on the next journey. OK that’s cheesy but you get it.Doubt Storm on Shalavee.com

I found something today. A small speech by a truly lovely woman hosting a series of inspirational letters for creative women and entrepreneurs. And this is what she said. It is never about the destination and always about the journey. There is no happy montage in the middle of your life and then POOF you’re changed into that girl!

Instead it’s about following you creative passions and inklings step by step. It’s about starting. And it’s about knowing that you being you doing your thing will inspire other people to be them and do their things. Because the world needs that now and always.

If you enjoyed what you read, please subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your email box. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional In-touchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Fear Makes it Worse

We are all experts on our own fear. We have developed a close and intimate relationship with our fear through the years. We should know what makes us quake, run away, and hide. We avoid, deny, and perfectionistically talk ourselves out of all the right stuff to keep us safe. Except, fear also makes us do the stupidest stuff that ends up messing things up way worse than if we hadn’t made a fear based choice.

Here’s some examples of some of the stupid things fear has made me do.

I had to take my children to the doctor’s and get them flu shots yesterday. The Nurse practitioner gave me a tongue lashing for not bringing them in sooner so that the vaccine could take effect prior to the flu season. I was just afraid of having to take my four-year old for another shot. But she did well as we talked about it and I bribed her ahead of time. I hope we don’t get the flu of course. And those shots can’t hurt, although they hurt. I feared causing my child pain. But a good Mom knows smart choices.Fear Makes it Worse on Shalavee.com

Speaking of fear of doctors, there was that time when I got the sinus infection that lasted from Thanksgiving to Valentine’s Day. I was so afraid of being sick, I think I lied about not having taken some antibiotics so that I then stopped short of a full run of treatment and ended up making things worse. I was terrified of what my body was up to and didn’t always trust the doctors to take care of me. Fear causes mistrust and cloudy thinking.

Fear made me avoid and lie.

I’ve been so afraid of having my writing submissions rejected again (those were some painful experiences) that I just stopped trying. Ridiculous considering I now know my writing truly doesn’t suck as much as it did. I question my why but I know that’s just distraction.

Fear that I am incapable of the tasks I am saddled to do makes me angry. Feelings of not knowing enough and feeling helpless can make me rant. So anger is a good sign of my fear. Or PMS.Fear Makes it Worse on Shalavee.com

I’ve discovered that acting from fear makes things worse. My feelings are compounded, amplified. Outcomes are messy and long-lasting. Instead, I need to stand still and think about how to meet my fears head on, get advice and a plan and have pride in myself for doing what I need to do despite my fear.

I bet we can all think of a moment of fear when we were not so proud of ourselves for our actions. We made things worse or hurt someone.

And you know, the only thing we can do is love ourselves for our humanity. Compassion has no expiration date.

If you enjoyed what you read, please subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your email box. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional In-touchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

The Process and the Presence will Release You

There’s a lie we seem to like to tell ourselves, probably one that others sold us on once. That to be the best us, we need to have arrived somewhere. A set of circumstances needs to be in place, be that an amount of money or success or a certain weight. And we will be OK when this is set, and not until then. We’ve replaced process with destination.

I am reminded of my bedtime ritual as a kid. There were two alligators and a fox under my bed and only when I had my clean underwear and then my PJs on was I safe from them. Except it was all a construct of my imagination. And when we’re all grown up, we are certain that those goals and feelings of anxiety because we haven’t reached them, are all adult and on the up and up. Reliable indications that we need to work harder to achieve these things.The Process and the Presence will Release You on Shalavee.com

So like rats on a treadmill, we exhaust ourselves in the pursuit of enough. When there really is only one now that we can live while our fears play us for the fear junkies that we are.

We have forgotten the importance of process. That it is through finding out what we are and what we truly need to be complete (hint: not anything we can get at Wal-Mart) that we’ll find we are home with ourselves and no longer scrabbling for the unobtainable “enough”.The Process and the Presence will Release You on Shalavee.com

Allow for your process. In fact, thank the process when it messes your plans up. It’s trying to show you a better path. Ask yourself, what am I to learn from this detour and then learn it. As you collect your gleaned tidbits, your lessons, your insights, and your grief, you can be proud of you going forward. Because that messiness is exactly how you become a better you. The rinse and repeat of the daily anxiety dance will get you more of the same scared life. And the presence of mind to learn from yourself now will release you.

If you enjoyed what you read, please subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your email box. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional In-touchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Faith In You Delivers You to You

I’ve visited the subject of Faith before and I felt the need to come and redefine it for myself today. Because the next phase of my life will rely on some wicked amounts of Faith driven work to deliver me through my goals. It’s OK to know and be terrified of what you need to do in life but there’s got to be some tricks to guiding you through the fear minefield of your future. And I believe Faith is one of them.

Now when I say faith, one may immediately go for the God version. And if you’ve got that, go for it. Believing in a divine love supporting you through the work it takes to fulfill your life’s purpose is awesome! But it’s also wayyyy OK if that Faith is one in yourself and your community’s support. You have worked something all your life that’s been working for you, why not believe it’ll keep working.

Faith means you believe that you are capable of many small steps that will lead you where you need to go. It means that the things you want in your life are worth achieving. It means the people who are rooting for you are very nearby to catch you if you fall. It means you are never alone when you love what you are doing. Faith In Your Future Will See You Through on Shalavee.com

I will offer again the acronym that allows a further understanding of how your imagination can lead you to a place you only dream of. Feel As If the Thing has Happened. You manifest everything in your life whether you realize it or not. And understanding this, you can harness that magic and imagine yourself arrived at the place you want. Imagine your pride and the joy of others. And there, in that feeling, is your faith.

Yes, your fear will intervene. It knows everything you know. Can use you against you. And yet, you can also choose the next step and the next step and the next step even as your fear clambers in your ear. Turn to your fear and kindly thank it for trying to keep you from your imminent death but you’ve got this for the next 24 hours and tell it to go take a coffee break. I guarantee you, months from now, you will know exactly what faith will get you. Everywhere.

If you enjoyed what you read, please subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your email box. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional In-touchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Your Community

The beginning of the year found me dreading my duties ahead. I had somehow volunteered to spearhead our fellowship’s fundraiser and I was not excited. My ego was dreadfully afraid of failing and two wise men gave me some extraordinary advice. One said, “your community will show up for you” and the other said, “if it fails, it’s your community that will have failed not you”. Permission and perspective were gained immediately.

 

Two days ago, I sent out an email requesting help with the food for this Cuban themed event. I needed some traditional cooking as well as some “buy it” and “pour it” in a bowl types of supplies. And within 12 hours, my people showed up and were on board for all the items. All of them. I could have cried.Your Community on Shalavee.com

 

Asking for anything is tremendously hard. You risk rejection when you ask. But when you are asking on behalf of a community, it feels like double jeopardy. Your good name and your cause are at stake. But our egos somehow forget that the Community concept means we are collectively responsible. In fact, those who care about the community as well are so glad that they’re not the one doing all the work, they’ll be glad to grab those chips or make that cake to show their gratitude for the efforts being made.

 

Equally important, how else can you learn your humility life lessons but through being of service to your community? Be that community your church, your school, your county, or gender, showing up holds so much power and impacts everyone. The efforts show us our value and shows others their value to us. In this instance, being in this process showed me how generous and loving my fellowship is when my fear of failure wanted to be my message.

Your Community on Shalavee.com

I will be immensely grateful to have accomplished this Herculean task and proven that I could. But I will also try not to lose sight that I must trust in my community as they have shown me their honor and reliability. Those are good reasons to keep being devoted. And I wanted to make sure that this lesson was not left unspoken.

If you enjoyed what you read, please subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your email box. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional In-touchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

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