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A Case of the Busyness

My friend and I were having a heart to heart, that spill your overwhelm kinda talk. I’ve heard these words before from both her and myself and of course my suggestion is first to get it all out of your head and on to paper. Lists reorganize and rend the tendrils from you mind so that you may see what you’re truly dealing with. And she said, “Yes, but…”.

But the busy may just be a disguise for the stuck. For the balking of making the deeper more decisive decisions. What if busy is the easy path? We can distract ourselves with busy thereby avoiding the issues that scare us. The choices that might mean change, for good or bad.A Case of the Busyness on Shalavee.com

Our busy has become a subterfuge, a shallow pool to thrash around in and distract us from the exact things that may need more time and more effort but also may bring relief from our perpetual activity and anxiety. Our busy’s a ruse. I eloquently wrote about this state of my being last year here.

So I suggest, pick the one thing that you need to do to make a big difference, in how you feel about your life, in your competence, or in your environment. And then unplug everything (literally or figuratively), set yourself a timer for 20 minutes, referred to as the Pomodoro Technique, and start. Shove fear right on its butt and out of your way and tell yourself you are making a difference today. And when that 20 minutes is up, go pee or get a drink, and set that timer for another 20 minutes and keep going. A Case of the Busyness on Shalavee.com

Today can actually be the most productive day of your life if you only get out-of-the-way of the busy and let it be. I always know the exact thing that scares me the most. And I’m gearing up to do some Don Quixote days soon on that stuff. Would you like to join me and kick some windmill butt too? Tell me here or somewhere what you’re avoiding and let’s all support each other in moving the heck on with it.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your email box. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest  too. I am always practicing Intentional In-touchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

You’re Living the Good Life if You Think You Are

I am a half empty kinda gal. I see everything in my life as slightly bad. I see the clothing in my closet as too tight. I see my body as too white. I see my house as dirty and my furniture shabby. And my career as a big question I should have already answered. Perpetually half empty.

Every day, I will think at some point of how my life sucks. And so it does. We live in the general bubbled feeling of what we perceive. With the not so good news streaming into our conscious minds, we perceive the world as dangerous and doom-filled. A disaster is surely awaiting us and so we gear up for the inevitable disastrous outcome with our cynicism and our lack of spontaneous joy. Deflecting joy is a common trick used by the most prestigious people.You're Living the Good Life if You Think You Are on Shalavee.com

But honestly, life is filled with houses full of inanimate objects and people wrapped up in their own perceived outcomes. We are the ones pumping meaning into our everyday and interaction. What if we had faith the outcome was going to be good? Then we’d manifest it as such. What if your outcome was already a given.

What we expect, we create. And we may need to very intentionally retrain our brains to not go to auto-know already predicting the outcome before there is an outcome. But rather, we could ask ourselves to be a little more creative about imagining our outcomes. Step back out of that negative brain rut and not only look at what’s going right in life and state our gratitude for such, but what possibilities are out there that we’ve not imagined. Because life can be generous with its gifts if we leave room for them. And surprises are awaiting those with the sight to see them coming.

 

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your email box. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest  too. I am always practicing Intentional In-touchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

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This Week in My Head: On Fighting the Fear and the Pain

A brain spill is a great place to start. And to keep a real face here, this is what I wrote to myself this past week. I have gone through some physical and mental pain and fear which, after sitting with it, has kicked my butt into gear a little.

Fighting to stop the pains in my body, physical and mental. Pain causes fear. Fear causes anxiety. This is my living through the lesson about how “pain means something” and the resolution to rid myself of it takes work. Am I worth fighting for? Because the answer to this question will decide the next step.

Planning is still up to me. I’ve made the next round of physical doctor’s appointments and now I wait for them.

This Week in My Head: On Fighting the Fear and the Pain on Shalavee.com

 

Struggling with finding my footing here in this very place. Wishing to bloom into this amazing space I’ve created (space and time to work distraction free with cool air this summer, story to come). A place where I vanquished my demons enough to write and write and write until I found, and continue to find, my voice. Where I make friends, and create support networks online and in person. Where I’ve systematically rid myself of the excuses that were in my way. And now it’s a struggle to stand in this space and see if for what it is.

And now I am again standing dumbfounded and fear-riddled staring at the next step.

I know it’s time for a call, a scream for me and my worth. 

To count all the blessings.

A Vision board.

To come back around to hope again. 

That I need to do for myself exactly the things that I would suggest others do is true.

I’m smack in that cycle that Sass describes in her Self-Doubt Loop. I’m at the end of the part where I bemoan my inaction and start to gather my hope and speed back up. Maybe its perfect timing. 

 

This Week in My Head: On Fighting the Fear and the Pain on Shalavee.com

Sass suggests finding a totem to remind me of that feeling/place I am working toward. And to consider my life’s work as a devotion. To commit to it as a given. And in return the devotion of my time and effort will give back to me with opportunities and miracles. Read her recent post here and feel free to wander in her happy space for more insight.

Time for me to no longer stay lost but to be found.

Yes I am sometimes Battling Against the Becoming. But that is a part of the cycle. Is this a cycle you go through too?

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your email box. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest  too. I am always practicing Intentional In-touchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

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Battling Against the Becoming

I am the caterpillar inching my way along fueled by the promise of flying one day. But all that potential to fulfill that flight is so scary. Everyone will be watching me! Maybe the beautiful butterfly that I could become is poisonous and very dangerous … to others and myself. And so, I fight the becoming, eschew the wings, and ignore the chrysalis phase. And moan and wail as I see others flying by.

I chatter at myself, trying to pick the lock of myself. I query and banter, I call out and disagree. I cancel and ask for permission and still I can not seem to relinquish the fear that grips me around doing what I “have to do”, Supposed to Vs. Want. What must I do to bring down these defenses and make my life a fearless siege of what I want to do. battling against the becoming on Shalavee.com

I come back to my vision, my plan for my future. A summary of what I believe (a book) and sharing these thoughts with others (speaking engagements and magazine pieces). It all sounds so noble and doable. My heart on my sleeve and everyone chanting “Yes !”… while I search the crowd for the one person who’s going to lunge out and reveal my shortcomings, my illegitimacy, and my lack of pedigree. And I just beat them to the punch by not walking the walk didn’t I?

This is between me and me. I’m standing in my way. I’m coaxing and cajoling, I’m berating and stating, and still I stand here. And then there’s the little voice that says run while she’s not looking. Pull the band-aid off quickly! Just do it and then over think it. Knuckle down and fake the passion because whatever you are avoiding is usually the one thing you truly need to do. battling against the becoming on Shalavee.com

Hope you can figure out how to get out of your own way. Lemme know your tricks please.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your email box. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest  too. I am always practicing Intentional In-touchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

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A Wise Why

I am busy re-assessing why the heck I’d want to get anything published. It’s all been so painful with the asking to be rejected kind of stuff, I had to stop cold and reconfigure my why. Because if it’s for your approval, I’ve discovered, it’s not going to work for me. A wise why is my better bet. And it’s all in the way that I frame it for myself. I pondered this before here and the truth there is compelling. But I am still stuck.

I think we all have a tendency to put ourselves in auto-pilot. We head for the thing that we think we should be doing. And it’s also possible to head for the same goal but for a completely different reason. And that’s a shift I have been hard at work making; changing out my why.If my why has always been for my approval, it takes some willful rerouting of my brain to switch that to doing it for my happiness.A wise why on SHalavee.com

This year, I claimed courage as my word of the year. I did it in the hopes that I would feel more courageous to submit pieces to online magazines by claiming courage as my word. Hah! So I have now handed it over to my Mastermind group in the hopes that accountability would be a budge. And I think it’s actually working.

Yesterday I read a brilliant suggestion to write a letter to your stalled goal and see if you could flush out some new perspective on where your why you had gone awry. And this is what I came up with.A wise why on SHalavee.com

Dear Writing Submission Goal,

You are a noble goal, a worthy goal. When I first created you, you were the highest most validating goal I could come up with. I would be a writer if I was published.

What I failed to understand though was that publishing, or submitting to published, can not be for anyone but me. My amusement, my happiness, and my approval needs to be the first priority. And until I sorted out what and who all this effort was for, I wouldn’t take you back up again.

I am slowly finding my way back to you in a way that feels honest. I have discovered my talent truly now. I believe what I say has foundation and worth and that it’s better than many others getting published currently. When I do get published, it will be for my merit. I believe  being published will further my progress towards so many other worthwhile opportunities.

I want you to know I still believe in you, I’m just changing out your frame.

              Love,

              Shalagh “

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

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