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Let It Be Well

As I write this, it is New Year’s Adam. More visiting with relatives scheduled, German potato to make, and getting presents packed and children readied. And yet, there is a feeling of “all is well” with me. I honestly can not remember the last time I felt so calm and happy knowing that all is as it should be.let it be well on Shalavee.com

I can remember, as if a bad dream, the general feeling of unease that I needed to keep watch, to fix, to guard against, and to keep up the busyness against the doom. The anxiety pervaded every day in every way. And my Present to myself this season was to release that. I chose to just see if that was possible and to my delight, it was. I fought the stigma of treating my anxiety with medicine and said yes to help.

My Christmas was peaceful. My days were worry free as I watched my family laugh and play games. I made marvelous food and listened to my son play music and watched my daughter dance. And I marveled at how much joy there was all around me that I was so privileged to be a part of.let it be well on Shalavee.com

I heard a song this morning that I’d like to share with you because it seemed to convey the perfection of the simplicity of letting go. Rayland Baxter’s Let it all go Man. Follow the link to listen in Spotify.

https://open.spotify.com/track/7Cbz1nHuX3eDskwV566MGB

Happy New Year to you dear readers. I’ll see you next year.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Hail to the Hearth Keepers

Our home fires are both necessary and symbolic. Religious mythology include kitchen hearths and their keepers because the hearth is the place where life and family begins and ends. Heat and life begin within the womb and warmth of the family. And I have always known that my job is to tend that warm place.hail to the hearth keepers on Shalavee.com

I love making fires. I saw an Indian gentleman show the true way to make fire out of forest fodder and I swore I would do that too. What a skill to have. And then I had Fiona instead. She is our “fuego rojo”, a fiery red-headed daughter.

Although our actual fireplaces were long ago rendered obsolete, we bought a gas insert for our living room hearth 15 year ago. I tend that fireplace with a once a year blow out of the dust from the pilot light and relight it to begin our fall season.hail to the hearth keepers on Shalavee.com

My truest joy is how my kids enjoy huddling next to it on the cold days. They ask to light it before school. And pull pillows up to warm themselves. That is the memory I want for them of their home life here. That coziness and kept feeling of home. If they take that with them then I have done my job as the hearth keeper.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Instead of Dread

We’ve had an unusually busy August and I have one last day to get through in a week-long run of big scary events. And I have been very conscious of fending off the dread.

This final busy week included the last three band practices for my son’s band for the performance on the weekend, a fair that happens in my front yard, an out-of-town visitor, a public dance performance for Fiona, and preparation for a speech and art piece display for me. All great events yet there’s the wariness and dread of what you have to do likes to knock on the door and check to see if it can come in and stay a while. I tried to not answer the door.Instead of dread on Shalavee.com

I focused instead on the positive outcomes of all the events. I savored the gratitude I felt from having community show up for Eamon’s band and for my speech at church. I thought about what message we were giving to ourselves and to others when we showed up to do these things. That we are good enough and our talents valuable to share. Our vulnerabilities pinned to our sleeves as we performed our creative tasks.

And I focused on being with my family and taking it all one step at a time. Being here for one another. I focused on the examples we were setting. On appreciating our team and the opportunities we are making for ourselves. And all of that kept me not focusing on the dread and anxiety of the performance.Instead of dread on Shalavee.com

Today is the last dreadful day. I have a minor medical procedure that requires me to be put under for a few needles in my backside. But this is me just keeping my nose down and keeping on because all of it takes me to a better place in the end. A place where there’s less dread of pain and more pride. So I am feeling gratitude even in light of having to starve myself before the procedure. And I’m watching how this all unfolds and keeping my eyes open for the next direction to head in. And the celebration I plan to have for these jobs well done!

 

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter orPinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Summer 2018 Continues

Summer 2018 is rolling out in a leisurely fashion. It started out at a run when we went straight to the beach the weekend after school let out. But that ended up being a great thing for all of us to be put into the official Summer mode.

I’ve allowed myself to sleep or lay in bed in the mornings knowing there was no rush to do anything. I have kept up with dual art challenges which forces me to take a break and be creative. I had a great time just being outside in the beautiful weather we’ve had recently. And generally, it feels much more vacationy even as we are all still home.

 

Plans to wander are on the schedule. A few beach days and camps and playdates and I just hope it all doesn’t go by too quickly. Come Fall, we’ll have an Eighth grader and a Kindergartner in the house!

Hope you are enjoying your Holidays too!

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter orPinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

My Family Self or Myself : Who Do I Know Myself to Be ?

I am on a journey to understand myself. This involves both understanding who I thought I was based on the information I gathered as a child, and who I think Myself to be thus far as an adult. And knowing that I have the power to change what I think of me ensures I stay in process and don’t get stuck in my past. But for people who are used to being told who they are, considering being anyone different may be a daunting and inconceivable project. But it’s quite necessary if you are to decide on what makes you happy because truly no one else knows that but you.

Our upbringing and childhoods play a major role in who we define ourselves to be. And as our primary personality was formed within our households and families growing up, it may put us at internal odds to choose to know ourselves otherwise. We are afraid that if we choose to be someone other than who we perceived our families to want us to be, we may be insulting and discrediting our families. But nothing could be further from the truth.My Family Self or Myself : Who Do I Know Myself to Be ? on Shalavee.com

I completely understand devotion to those whom we love. And at the same time, I can not imagine that our families wouldn’t want us to rise and feel better about ourselves. That they did the best they could is a given. And quietly acknowledging the less than positive things that happened isn’t a bad thing. It just is life.

In other words, we are not dissing our families if we say we have low self-esteem as a result of our upbringing. That our parents did the best they could was a given. But we can not see what we can not see. If they couldn’t bring their own esteem up to a healthy place because of their own upbringings than they were not aware of what they were giving or not giving us.  It was still their best. Sometimes our best is just the best we could do at the time under the circumstances

To claim your lowered self-esteem and to re-parent yourself and trust yourself doesn’t have to cost you the disrespect of your family. It is not in judgement but in compassion that we rise beyond our roots. We give tribute to our pasts and our fight. So having compassion for our upbringings and ourselves will be the permission combination to then decide who we now want to be based on what we need in our lives to make us happy. How do we trust ourselves if we are not governing ourselves by our own rules and standards? We don’t.My Family Self or Myself : Who Do I Know Myself to Be ? on Shalavee.com

At some point, who we are and what we believe we need for ourselves and our families has to be created by us. And that will then be who we are and what we pass along, as functional or dysfunctional as it may be, it was chosen and not auto-set by what we thought we should do. We always have the power to choose our way even if it’s wrong in someone else’s eyes. We only trust ourselves when we do what we know in our hearts is true to us. And trusting ourselves is tantamount to our happiness. You know this too.

If you enjoyed what you read, please subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your email box. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional In-touchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

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