May 30, 2014
With a heavy sad heart, I convey the news that last night, Mark’s Dad passed away while in hospice care. He was released from his tired body and has moved on to his soul’s next purpose. His passing was at the end of a gradual decline as we watched congestive heart failure take him day by day. To know that he is no longer suffering is an immense relief to his loved ones although it’s hard to explain to a 9 year-old what that means. Wanting someone to die to have them no longer be in pain.
Pop Pop was dear, funny, and generous with his love and care. Two miracle granddaughters were born last year and I never saw him happier than when he was gitchy-gooing a grandbaby.
My son was asked to do a project in school on a family member who had served in the military. Pop Pop served on a destroyer for four years during the Korean War, starting at age 17. So this is the paper quilt that Eamon made to commemorate him.
The pieces are different scenes from the story of Pop Pop’s ship and how he was feeling about serving his country. I retrieved the art piece today from Eamon’s school so that we can put it on display at the funeral parlor.
Pop Pop’s and Eamon’s birthdays were so close together in April that we often had joint parties for them. This photo below was just 5 years ago. It was and wasn’t so long ago, you know?
These will be the memories I will hold of him. Him loving on Eamon and Fiona. His cheering Eamon on at soccer and baseball games. And that incident where Eamon threw up on himself at the McDonald’s inside the Wal-mart in Easton, Maryland, and Pop Pop stripped him down on the tailgate of the SUV in January to put him in clean clothing. He was a take care of it kind of guy and I am immensely grateful that my husband is much of the man I love because of him. We will miss you Terry. Say hi to Uncle Dick for us.
Apr 25, 2014
This past weekend was the Spring Break, Easter, Eamon’s Birthday, and Earth Day weekend. It was a 4 ½ day extravaganza of playing, egg hunting, and family visiting. I had done all of my house cleaning and blog prepping and I actually was able to enjoy myself for a couple of days. We ate and laughed and opened presents and ate some more. Monday I posted and pondered what visiting with family and sharing our children means. Here’s the pictorial proof of our doings for the Holiday Weekend.
Cousin Matthew and Eamon
Sue aka the Easter chicken with Fiona
Fiona’s special egg hunt.
She had streamers for her hunt.
Sparkly Easter eggs at the end of the streamers.
The official Easter chicken trophy
Dying Easter eggs with Aunt Michelle
A gator puppet from Florida
Easter baskets yay!
Me and my sister Michelle at Out of the Fire restaurant in Easton, MD
Wendy, Fiona, and Dad at breakfast at the Tidewater Inn in Easton, MD
Easter baskets for the big visitors
Prosciutto from Piazza for the adult Easter baskets
Baguettes form the Easton, MD Farmer’s Market
Pussy willows from Seaberry Farm at the Easton, MD farmer’s market
Stock, willow, and cherry blossom branches
The fried ice cream for his birthday dinner at Cafe Sado
Playing with the chain dividers at Cafe Sado
Eamon’s Birthday present!
Truly what any holidays should be about : family, food, wine, and fun. Almost makes up for the stinky Spring weather.
Have a happy joy-filled weekend.
Apr 21, 2014
Our busy weekend is still going strong. Today’s Eamon’s 9th birthday. We’ve had days and days of visiting with family, fun Easter egg stuff, and eating out and unhealthy. I needed to write a post for today and as we wind up our vacation mode, I am reviewing what I have noticed and what was important from these experiences. In honor of my new friend Lauren, I would like to offer a five things list.
1. There is no such thing as a given. What you think will be the way it always will be may not be a day, month, or decade from now. Enjoy now. Noticing the lilt of a voice, the readiness of a laugh, or the loveliness of a wine is all of the moment you will ever ‘have’.
2. Birthing and maintaining babies is a lot of work. The word relentless comes up quite often for me. They are inconvenient and terrifying. And at one year-old, are the truest cutest delight to give to the world and those you are related to. They are a gift you give to those you love and those who don’t even know you. Share them often.
3. Spring cleaning is necessary. We worked hard for a week to clean the clutter, chaos, and deceased shrubs from our garden, a reminder of the awful weather we endured. My every cleaning whim was attended to and I feel hopeful now that I can move on to planning for summer and projects and travel.
4. Planning makes a tremendous difference. My husband always says it’s easier to break an appointment than make an appointment. We had a visit because we set intentions and they bought airplane tickets and we wrote things on calendars. Live a little ahead of yourself. Enough to have stuff to look forward to enjoying.
5. The best time ever to decide or do or change is now. It’s all you have. Do your best, let go of the rest. Forgive, forget, get over it. It isn’t always about you. Exist in your life in the moment with integrity and gratitude and that feeling of contentment is better than the completion of any to-do list.
I made the best use I could make of a car nap writing this. Hope everyone is enjoying Spring and family and thinking about what they’re getting up to next. Enjoy your now.
Apr 16, 2014
Seems in the rush around and shuffle of creativity and Spring projects, I forgot to post a Fiona’s First Birthday party post. Which is to say, you still haven’t seen the pictures of her cupcake face yet. I did show you the party decorations.
My paper feathers are still hanging around. See the whole post here.
And the fabulous gold circle patterned balloons that my son and I made.
That post is here.
And I published a post on the flower arrangements.
I made pulled pork and my special coleslaw and good old Aunt Emma’s chocolate cake cupcakes that morning.
Eamon used Lucky Charm marshmallow shapes and sprinkles to decorate them.
Family came including Fiona’s cousin Emma whose only several months younger.
We are all thrilled to know they have each other to play with as they grow up.
And soon it was time for the cupcakes.
This has to be my favorite shot.
And our good friends John and Gayle played a rousing game of keep up the balloon with Eamon.
Fiona got new toys and it was a really great day for everyone.
A month has gone by since the party and it seems so long ago. Happily, I’ll always have the pictures and the memories. Celebrations are an excuse to create memories and well worth all the efforts.
Mar 12, 2014
My ex and I were out to prove we were unlovable. Our agendas fit. And we did a good job of proving our simultaneous lack of lovability for about 8 years.
I was persecuted by his abuse. Unworthy of his change.
He was damaged and unchangeable, unworthy of my unconditional love.
And the slow torturous tumultuous dance went around and around.
Neither one of us willing to state what we needed or claim we deserved more or be responsible for walking away. It was a game of marriage chicken.
I believe strongly,
the attention, devotion, and
presence you receive from your parents
the promise and
reflection of your worth and
I continued to believe I was unlovable beyond then into now.
A year ago, I had a dream that it was meal time and I was with my mother, sister, and husband, my family.
But my sister was distracted measuring out flour on a scale and my mother wasn’t in the room and the husband was making an omelet. I felt so aggravated. Why hadn’t anyone included me? Or was I unnecessary?
And as I thought about this dream, I felt very sad for myself.
I believed that no one’s going to be there the way I need them to be. And If I was unpurposed, I had no cause for being loved. My needs won’t be met by my loved ones as they fulfill their own. Their needs or my needs, not both. If my needs fail to be met, am I unworthy?
In my dream it seemed if no one took care of me then I was unlovable and unworthy of their care. Conditional love. Around and around. But there’s a forgotten loophole.
Love of self.
I can choose to give myself the love and attention I need.Instead of looking to others to see me and give me purpose and worth, I can see me and give my life purpose and worth. And others will join in the parade.
These days, I am making sure I’m getting truckloads of self love.
Now, instead of waiting for others to take care of my needs, I’m taking care of them. I’m scheduling my time to do this. I’m calling people to help. And I’m feeling jazzed that I can make a difference in my life and eventually hoping to make a difference in others’. No longer talking the temporary psyche out to myself which is doomed to Peter out. But living, being the change I never realized I needed.
I’m busy making a real deal self-esteem boosting cocktail.
I’m becoming a mixologist of the positivity smoothie, the one that feels good for you as you drink it.
Grab a straw.