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I May Already Be Living the Good Life That I Always Wanted

My everyday, nay, my every moment is full of my expectations. I anticipate how my day will play out. I base my feelings of how my day and my life is going on how I perceive it as compared to what I expected and then I pass a judgement on how it’s going. I’m not living the good life. The End.

 

I have a nasty habit of judging my glass to be half empty. Same fill line as half full but it’s the way I am used to seeing it. I think this way, if anything blindsides me with bad news or disappointment, I won’t have far to fall. I guard against joy.

 

But if this is all an habitual equation, a standard pair of sunglasses I’m so used to donning, I no longer notice them, then that means there’s a chance to back-peddle and find another way to seeing my life. Because I get the distinct feeling that my life is waaaayyyy better than I’m giving it credit for. The habit to guard against disaster and seeing it all as in need of fixing, is robbing me of my every day every moment high.

I May Already Be Living the Good Life That I Always Wanted on Shalavee.com

What if I am already living the life I always wanted? What if in this constant looking beyond to the future and then disregarding my now is robbing me of the one life I get to enjoy? Because I think that’s exactly what is going on.

 

I get to see my healthy children grow up every day. I get to create words and pictures as often as I choose. I have a supportive as heck husband and several really nice supportive communities. My healthcare is paid for and I have a new roof on my house. I’d say I have a lot to count my glass as half full. So here’s to taking my glasses back and getting the prescription and tint changed. I’ll settle for 20/40 and rose-tinted sunglasses.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your email box. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest  too. I am always practicing Intentional In-touchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

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What the Weather and Life Have in Common

May weather in Maryland means “70 something degrees and listening to the birds chirping through open windows wide open” kinda weather. At least that’s my expectation. Although my window is open now and the birds are intermittently chirping between wind gusts, it feels like March. Or November. Oooh, I think I just had a craving for pumpkin pie. Or a warm sugar-free chai latte at least.

Earlier this month, we had a surprise spell of August-like temperatures in the 90’s. Again, not what we expected but then expectations are never realistic or advisable when it comes to weather …ever. Weather is only slightly more predictable than it was when we were children counting the seconds after the lightening until the thunder to see how far away the storm was. Yet there we all are in the line at grocery store expressing our disdain for Mother Nature today. Maybe it’s because we have nothing else to talk about. Maybe we think we are due special considerations from her for having a hard week. Or just that we haven’t figured out how to just be OK with what is in the moment.What the Weather and Life Have in Common on Shalavee.com

This morning I got this flash that our expectations about Life are erroneously the same as those we have for the weather. There’s a pattern in which life is supposed to happen depending on the season. There’s the seasons of childhood, adulthood, love and marriage, parenthood, and retirement. These seasons come with their own expectations about how the days will transpire. You can sort of head for there but get caught up in how it should or shouldn’t look and then, “Quelle Surprise !”, it comes out looking completely different than you expected. Again, if you were just to avoid expectations at all costs with both the weather and your life, you could certainly save yourself a lot of grief. But then you wouldn’t be human.What the Weather and Life Have in Common on Shalavee.com

So maybe we need to convince our inner toddlers that neither the weather nor life is truly within our control no matter how much we try. And that we’re better off focusing on the right here and how we can make this truly awesome despite the weather, despite the accidental nature of life. Conjure a mood in your head, create your smile to pass it on, and enjoy your gratitude at the end of the day for all the people you know and all the things you’ve done. And hold the prayer that you’ll wake up and get to do this all over again tomorrow. It’s all we’ve really got. And maybe some good star gazing in between life storms.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your email box. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest  too. I am always practicing Intentional In-touchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Living Ideal Lives That Have Nothing To Do with Stuff

 

As I drove I considered the concept that perhaps some of us are already living our ideal lives. My therapist pointed out to me once that I was living an enviable life of constant creativity yet all I ever wanted to do was dwell on those things I didn’t have yet and hadn’t accomplished yet.

 

It seems such a profound concept that we may be living the lives we always truly wanted except our vision is too clouded to see this. That we can only see that we are not living by the standards society tells us we are supposed to want. That if we were to understand that health is so important and wealth isn’t, we’d get to exercising instead of going for another Wal-mart run.Living Ideal Lives That Have Nothing To Do with Stuff on Shalavee.com

 

If we appreciated that we had family and community and a roof, that we’d already know we have enough. Except that’s not what sells. Not enough sells more. And when we buy, other people make money from our money. So we keep running on the wheel for our dollars. We keep making cheesy good snacks to eat while watching a sporting events when we could be making art or friends or love to and with the people around us.

 

And the moment you and I realize that we are following their rules, we’re gonna bust out laughing from our protective shells and begin conversations with ourselves and our world that we hadn’t dared until now. Just thoughts as I’m driving past the Wal-mart.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your email box. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest  too. I am always practicing Intentional In-touchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

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Letting Go of What No Longer Serves You

Recently my friend closed her shop down. It was the absolute right thing for her to do. The shop was taking more than it was giving back and it was time for them to break up. I can remember having to make that soul-crushing decision with my shop. And this made me feel sad for its demise however well-advised.

Sometimes we have to reverse our decisions. Our choices may no longer be achieving for us what we’d thought they would or what they were achieving has since ceased. I started doing a live video broadcast on my Facebook page last July in 2016 and kept it going for several months. But I discovered that I’d have been better off just doing live to tape videos because no one was tuning in. And then we needed to upgrade our Wi-fi when the live feed started to freeze. Wasn’t worth the stress I determined.letting go of what no longer serves you on Shalavee.com

But I had a super super hard time letting my Friday expectation go. I had made this commitment to me and to the world and I felt like I was letting me and the world down. Here’s the thing : if it’s not working then you need to reassess. Whatever you are doing, when you’ve reached the point of diminishing returns, you need to allow for the progress that letting go will allow. I can tell you that was the number one lesson I needed to learn when leaving my ex-husband.Your word and legal documents don’t mean anything if you are miserable.letting go of what no longer serves you on Shalavee.com

So here’s to saying no to what no longer is working or serving its initial and intended purpose so that we can open up our minds and hearts to the next thing that might do that better. Be that a job or a husband or a goal, we know when what we’ve been working on is or isn’t working and the effort to change tracks is far more important than the effort we keep making to continue to try to make something work that just isn’t.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter orPinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

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Looking For Good Enough

I’ve gone through spells of uneasiness recently. Days or patches where something is off. When I don’t feel great about what I’m doing or the day itself. And I realized it may be a little voice that says things are not quite good enough. My expectations and my actualities are not evening out.

I wrote in my journal,”I suspect my expectations are to blame. And I know I never give myself enough space or credit for my actuality. I continue to wait for some fairy godmother perspective shift.

I suspect that somewhere somehow I got it in my head that there would be this eureka moment when I would get the biggest Aha of my life and I’d completely break the confusing code of what am I here to do and why. I’ve been waiting for a lightning strike while I am actually moving along anyway, just a lot slower than my expectations.

Because when you deep down believe it’s not good enough, your poster life doesn’t match up to your real today life. So I thought, what does good enough really look like and let me paint a picture of that to put on my wall to stare at instead.Looking for good enough on Shalavee.com

What Good Enough Looks Like

When I don’t go looking for reasons to be unhappy with my life and myself.

When I stop doubting my ability to parent myself, to rely on myself, to follow myself to true happiness

When I trust myself

When I see myself in the mirror and don’t judge what I see badly

When I look at any possibility that tickles my fancy and say I can do that

When I feel the value that my being here has just because I’m here

And as I was wandering around reading random internet posts yesterday, I fell upon another concept that I think is also at work here. On Liz Smith’s Connected Life blog, she speaks here about Deepok Chopra’s concept that in each of us there is an everyday self and a deeper true self. The true self is essentially your soul. It is where you are when you feel contented. Your true self is certain and clear about your life where the everyday self can get easily influenced by chaos and other people’s opinions and will forget your true self even exists.Looking for good enough on Shalavee.com

It takes a good deal of mindfulness to train your brain to concentrate on thinking and existing in a truer place. And that is what I need to keep my eyes on when I feel a not enough spell coming on. I almost laughed out loud today when I realized that I already know what I know. And that just because I don’t believe it doesn’t make it any less true. When I write, I write what I know. And I find out what I know by writing. So I guess the only way to find out if I know enough is to start writing. The stories we tell ourselves keep us from finding out the truth. And I suspect the truth here is that I certainly know enough to write a book on what I know!

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter orPinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

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