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Letting Go of What No Longer Serves You

Recently my friend closed her shop down. It was the absolute right thing for her to do. The shop was taking more than it was giving back and it was time for them to break up. I can remember having to make that soul-crushing decision with my shop. And this made me feel sad for its demise however well-advised.

Sometimes we have to reverse our decisions. Our choices may no longer be achieving for us what we’d thought they would or what they were achieving has since ceased. I started doing a live video broadcast on my Facebook page last July in 2016 and kept it going for several months. But I discovered that I’d have been better off just doing live to tape videos because no one was tuning in. And then we needed to upgrade our Wi-fi when the live feed started to freeze. Wasn’t worth the stress I determined.letting go of what no longer serves you on Shalavee.com

But I had a super super hard time letting my Friday expectation go. I had made this commitment to me and to the world and I felt like I was letting me and the world down. Here’s the thing : if it’s not working then you need to reassess. Whatever you are doing, when you’ve reached the point of diminishing returns, you need to allow for the progress that letting go will allow. I can tell you that was the number one lesson I needed to learn when leaving my ex-husband.Your word and legal documents don’t mean anything if you are miserable.letting go of what no longer serves you on Shalavee.com

So here’s to saying no to what no longer is working or serving its initial and intended purpose so that we can open up our minds and hearts to the next thing that might do that better. Be that a job or a husband or a goal, we know when what we’ve been working on is or isn’t working and the effort to change tracks is far more important than the effort we keep making to continue to try to make something work that just isn’t.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter orPinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

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Looking For Good Enough

I’ve gone through spells of uneasiness recently. Days or patches where something is off. When I don’t feel great about what I’m doing or the day itself. And I realized it may be a little voice that says things are not quite good enough. My expectations and my actualities are not evening out.

I wrote in my journal,”I suspect my expectations are to blame. And I know I never give myself enough space or credit for my actuality. I continue to wait for some fairy godmother perspective shift.

I suspect that somewhere somehow I got it in my head that there would be this eureka moment when I would get the biggest Aha of my life and I’d completely break the confusing code of what am I here to do and why. I’ve been waiting for a lightning strike while I am actually moving along anyway, just a lot slower than my expectations.

Because when you deep down believe it’s not good enough, your poster life doesn’t match up to your real today life. So I thought, what does good enough really look like and let me paint a picture of that to put on my wall to stare at instead.Looking for good enough on Shalavee.com

What Good Enough Looks Like

When I don’t go looking for reasons to be unhappy with my life and myself.

When I stop doubting my ability to parent myself, to rely on myself, to follow myself to true happiness

When I trust myself

When I see myself in the mirror and don’t judge what I see badly

When I look at any possibility that tickles my fancy and say I can do that

When I feel the value that my being here has just because I’m here

And as I was wandering around reading random internet posts yesterday, I fell upon another concept that I think is also at work here. On Liz Smith’s Connected Life blog, she speaks here about Deepok Chopra’s concept that in each of us there is an everyday self and a deeper true self. The true self is essentially your soul. It is where you are when you feel contented. Your true self is certain and clear about your life where the everyday self can get easily influenced by chaos and other people’s opinions and will forget your true self even exists.Looking for good enough on Shalavee.com

It takes a good deal of mindfulness to train your brain to concentrate on thinking and existing in a truer place. And that is what I need to keep my eyes on when I feel a not enough spell coming on. I almost laughed out loud today when I realized that I already know what I know. And that just because I don’t believe it doesn’t make it any less true. When I write, I write what I know. And I find out what I know by writing. So I guess the only way to find out if I know enough is to start writing. The stories we tell ourselves keep us from finding out the truth. And I suspect the truth here is that I certainly know enough to write a book on what I know!

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter orPinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

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The Writing Lull During a Creative Burst

I have been at odds with myself recently in that I haven’t really wanted to write. I acknowledge that I am both a creative, equally prioritizing the visual and the verbal parts of me. I like when I go through a prolific phase of writing and it happens often enough to expect it. But there has been a writing radio silence of recent.

This week, I hosted a small creativity challenge and that’s been very satisfying. Unlike during previous challenges, I wasn’t nervous about what I was going to do every day. I would just get up to my craft room and let it flow. And I began to think today that perhaps the two parts of my brain know that they need to take turns. That there’s periods of contemplation and graduation that need to happen before better work can emerge.The writing lull during a creative burst on Shalavee.com

Where my visually creative self is like my inner child playing, my verbal side is like my inner parent always figuring out the next understanding and plan through my words. I find out who I am and what I think by writing. And perhaps I am entering a phase that is more like an inner Adult at work.

I see a bigger picture emerging. I am watching myself from afar doing what I’m doing. I’m seeing what the next step is, I’m considering my whys and my ways and then I’m hoping that I will feel empowered into action on what I see to be the next direction that will make me happy. The writing lull during a creative burst on Shalavee.com

I’m just winging it here but I am truly sure that following my intuition and listening to my own needs to write or create is the only way that I will not only truly trust myself, but will also help me navigate the best way through my life.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter orPinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

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You Don’t Have What They Want, It’s Nothing Personal

Everything that happens to you isn’t personal. In fact most of it isn’t. Sometimes a person can’t give me what I want because they can’t see anything in me that they need either. The world and the people in it don’t consider you half as important as you consider yourself and that’s got to be OK. In accepting the non-personal nature of our days, we could spend less time worrying about our worth and more on coming up with better schemes to get our needs met.

We’re all operating with different motivations, different GASs. What I’ve got to offer you may have nothing to do with your GAS (give-a-shoot). I have to look at this one. While my GAS is to be published and the publisher’s GAS is to find something that fits their criteria, if I submit something that they don’t perceive as being a “good fit” for their publication’s needs, that’s not to be interpreted as my writing was bad. I ran into this wall too much the last time I went to submit my work but this next round, I’m hoping to find better magazines/publications that fit my genre. And then I need my submission numbers to beat the odds.You don't have what they want, it's nothing personal on Shalavee.com

Sometimes people are having a bad day and you aren’t what they need to make it better. I walked into a restaurant and the waitperson who met me at the door was curt. I wanted to be offended and focus on how customer service needed to include a smile and an AOk attitude. But I decided to let it go. Because it wasn’t about me. The following lunch was delightful because I lead with my positive attitude.

So often, we are all rushing about tripping over each others egos. Taking offense over things that aren’t about us and applying these offenses back to our worth. We have to be very very careful who we give power to in this world. I certainly don’t want to spend all my good energy today on the person who gave me bad service in a drive-through food line. Just because they are having a bad day doesn’t mean I should too.You don't have what they want, it's nothing personal on Shalavee.com

If you want to be successful at what you do, or even in what you are doing today, you need to figure out who the people are that want what you’ve got to give. Who does give-a-shoot about you and what you have to offer because you are giving to them in a way that makes them happy too. It’s complicated but it isn’t. Once you know everything isn’t about you, you can then focus on making a specific set of things about you and making other people’s lives better as well as your own. In the end, your happiness is what runs, or ruins, your world. Honor that by keeping it separate from the people you deal with daily and allow them to be free of your judgement as well.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter orPinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

The Opposite of Scarcity is Enough

I can hear myself saying more more more, not enough. The house is never clean enough, fixed enough, or redecorated enough. My body is not thin or young or tan enough. My efforts to succeed as a writer, blogger, online maker are not ever enough. And so every day I come up short and scared. If I am not enough, I am plain afraid you’ll find out.

I have lived my life at a deficit for years. All of those thoughts have been real and gone through my head. The standards by which I am comparing myself to are randomly based on an American ideal. The successful outcome will guarantee my happiness for the rest of my life. Except it will be the rest of my life I squander being unhappily fearfully not enough. Enough is the opposite of scarcity on Shalavee.com

I certainly come from a fearful scarcity mindset. Like the Great Depression settled into my family’s bones, it is a ghost in my nursery that I can’t shake. Always be ready for the worst. Hold tightly to what you’ve got. “You will always never have enough and knowing that will keep you wise” kinda stuff. I spoke of this phenomenon a year ago and The Unqualified Enoughs are a cruel trap no one should have to endure.

But while I live that anxious lifestyle, I’m missing moments just to relax with my world, my children, my bounty, my luck, and appreciate it. I can not see what’s in front of me for searching the future for more. If I am to stop living the anxiety riddled life of scarcity, I’m going to have to refocus my lens on my today. And it’s going to have to be enough. Enough is the opposite of scarcity on Shalavee.com

Fierce gratitude is necessary to accomplish this I think. Thank your maker, your world, and everyone in it for everything. Give thanks at your meals for the food that passed through all those hands to get to you. Be thankful for the trees that give you air to breath. Be thankful to your parents and your grandparents for getting frisky and begetting you so that you could have your own beautiful children. And write it all down everyday until you really start to know that you have enough every day. And then start looking to put more love and light and wonder in your life. Because that’s where the abundance enters the picture. Or maybe just the Enough for now feeling. I’m good with that.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter orPinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

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