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Is My Life Glass Full or Empty : Expectation Adjustment

My everyday, nay, my every moment is full of my expectation thoughts. I have expectations of how my day will play out. Then, I base my feelings of how my day and my life is going on how I perceive it is going as compared to how I expected it would go and then I pass a judgement. The End.

 

But perceptions are still subjective. I have a nasty habit of judging my glass to be half empty. Same fill line as half full but it’s the way I am used to seeing it. I think this way, if anything blindsided me with bad news or disappointment, I won’t have far to fall. I guard against joy.

 Is My Life Glass Full or Empty : Expectation Adjustment on Shalavee.com

But if this is all a habitual equation, a standard pair of sunglasses I’m so used to donning, I no longer notice them, then that means there’s a chance to backpedal and find another way to seeing my life. Because I get the distinct feeling that my life is waaaayyyy better than I’m giving it credit for. The habit to guard against disaster and seeing it all as in need of fixing, is robbing me of my every day every moment high.

 

What if I am already living the life I always wanted? What if in this constant looking beyond to the future and then disregarding my now is robbing me of the one life I get to enjoy? Because I think that’s exactly what is going on.Is My Life Glass Full or Empty : Expectation Adjustment on Shalavee.com

 

I get to see my healthy children grow up every day. I get to create words and pictures as often as I choose. I have a supportive as heck husband and several really nice supportive communities. My healthcare is paid for and I have a new roof on my house. I’d say I have a lot to count my glass as half full. So here’s to taking my fear glasses back and getting the prescription and tint changed. I’ll settle for 20/40 and rose-tinted sunglasses.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your email box. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest  too. I am always practicing Intentional In-touchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Breaking the Pattern of the Body Fix

It’s a thing, this pattern of not enough, of body fix. I hate my bloated belly. I can’t lose the weight. Even when I did, it wasn’t enough. An addiction to self-hatred is what I say. The no compromise standards that keep us right on the other side of the fence of liking ourselves as who we are now. And I’m feeling a weird choked battle cry of “Enough” coming from deep inside.

For a very long time, I have not gauged my worth by my body. My distended or pregnant or redundant colon bloated belly is not what other people judge me as being worthy by. Except, I can not bear to wear half my wardrobe lest my bloated belly show. And the pieces I will possibly grab for just dwindled to a handful when I gained back my weight. I was so triumphant a year ago having lost the ten pounds. And then I found myself right back at the beginning again.Breaking the Pattern of the Body Fix on Shalavee.com

I thought, perhaps I need to sit and watch any crowd and count how many women have a belly. Or I need to peruse some Glamour magazines to quickly sicken myself with the disease of picture perfection in the media and then inspire my rebellion to wear belly shirts. Or maybe I need to sit in front of the mirror and make sure I tell myself about my worth as not being about my body. Any and all these methods could be invoked to remind me that I am loved and lovable wherever and however I am.

Bottom line is that this self-hatred and self-bullying which has me and many others wanting to always fix ourselves can never end well. As long as there’s something to “fix”, it implies brokenness. And I do not want to model this for my buxom red-headed daughter. She’ll have to fight it from the world as it is.Breaking the Pattern of the Body Fix on Shalavee.com

The fact is I’m mortified by the loss of collagen in my body more than anything. But mostly, I know I shouldn’t be having this conversation AGAIN. Haven’t I already learned this lesson? How to do our best and let go of the rest. Forgive our flesh.

I need all your good thoughts and helpful suggestions. And am always up for your stories.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your email box. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest  too. I am always practicing Intentional In-touchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

I May Already Be Living the Good Life That I Always Wanted

My everyday, nay, my every moment is full of my expectations. I anticipate how my day will play out. I base my feelings of how my day and my life is going on how I perceive it as compared to what I expected and then I pass a judgement on how it’s going. I’m not living the good life. The End.

 

I have a nasty habit of judging my glass to be half empty. Same fill line as half full but it’s the way I am used to seeing it. I think this way, if anything blindsides me with bad news or disappointment, I won’t have far to fall. I guard against joy.

 

But if this is all an habitual equation, a standard pair of sunglasses I’m so used to donning, I no longer notice them, then that means there’s a chance to back-peddle and find another way to seeing my life. Because I get the distinct feeling that my life is waaaayyyy better than I’m giving it credit for. The habit to guard against disaster and seeing it all as in need of fixing, is robbing me of my every day every moment high.

I May Already Be Living the Good Life That I Always Wanted on Shalavee.com

What if I am already living the life I always wanted? What if in this constant looking beyond to the future and then disregarding my now is robbing me of the one life I get to enjoy? Because I think that’s exactly what is going on.

 

I get to see my healthy children grow up every day. I get to create words and pictures as often as I choose. I have a supportive as heck husband and several really nice supportive communities. My healthcare is paid for and I have a new roof on my house. I’d say I have a lot to count my glass as half full. So here’s to taking my glasses back and getting the prescription and tint changed. I’ll settle for 20/40 and rose-tinted sunglasses.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your email box. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest  too. I am always practicing Intentional In-touchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

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What the Weather and Life Have in Common

May weather in Maryland means “70 something degrees and listening to the birds chirping through open windows wide open” kinda weather. At least that’s my expectation. Although my window is open now and the birds are intermittently chirping between wind gusts, it feels like March. Or November. Oooh, I think I just had a craving for pumpkin pie. Or a warm sugar-free chai latte at least.

Earlier this month, we had a surprise spell of August-like temperatures in the 90’s. Again, not what we expected but then expectations are never realistic or advisable when it comes to weather …ever. Weather is only slightly more predictable than it was when we were children counting the seconds after the lightening until the thunder to see how far away the storm was. Yet there we all are in the line at grocery store expressing our disdain for Mother Nature today. Maybe it’s because we have nothing else to talk about. Maybe we think we are due special considerations from her for having a hard week. Or just that we haven’t figured out how to just be OK with what is in the moment.What the Weather and Life Have in Common on Shalavee.com

This morning I got this flash that our expectations about Life are erroneously the same as those we have for the weather. There’s a pattern in which life is supposed to happen depending on the season. There’s the seasons of childhood, adulthood, love and marriage, parenthood, and retirement. These seasons come with their own expectations about how the days will transpire. You can sort of head for there but get caught up in how it should or shouldn’t look and then, “Quelle Surprise !”, it comes out looking completely different than you expected. Again, if you were just to avoid expectations at all costs with both the weather and your life, you could certainly save yourself a lot of grief. But then you wouldn’t be human.What the Weather and Life Have in Common on Shalavee.com

So maybe we need to convince our inner toddlers that neither the weather nor life is truly within our control no matter how much we try. And that we’re better off focusing on the right here and how we can make this truly awesome despite the weather, despite the accidental nature of life. Conjure a mood in your head, create your smile to pass it on, and enjoy your gratitude at the end of the day for all the people you know and all the things you’ve done. And hold the prayer that you’ll wake up and get to do this all over again tomorrow. It’s all we’ve really got. And maybe some good star gazing in between life storms.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your email box. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest  too. I am always practicing Intentional In-touchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Living Ideal Lives That Have Nothing To Do with Stuff

 

As I drove I considered the concept that perhaps some of us are already living our ideal lives. My therapist pointed out to me once that I was living an enviable life of constant creativity yet all I ever wanted to do was dwell on those things I didn’t have yet and hadn’t accomplished yet.

 

It seems such a profound concept that we may be living the lives we always truly wanted except our vision is too clouded to see this. That we can only see that we are not living by the standards society tells us we are supposed to want. That if we were to understand that health is so important and wealth isn’t, we’d get to exercising instead of going for another Wal-mart run.Living Ideal Lives That Have Nothing To Do with Stuff on Shalavee.com

 

If we appreciated that we had family and community and a roof, that we’d already know we have enough. Except that’s not what sells. Not enough sells more. And when we buy, other people make money from our money. So we keep running on the wheel for our dollars. We keep making cheesy good snacks to eat while watching a sporting events when we could be making art or friends or love to and with the people around us.

 

And the moment you and I realize that we are following their rules, we’re gonna bust out laughing from our protective shells and begin conversations with ourselves and our world that we hadn’t dared until now. Just thoughts as I’m driving past the Wal-mart.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your email box. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest  too. I am always practicing Intentional In-touchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

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