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The Seesaw of Being a Creative and a Parent

Being a mother, the primary caregiver, and a creative as well, I have come up against such emotional backlash when it comes to being true to both jobs at the same time. I still struggle with not letting my fear of being unavailable for my children be a reason to keep me from doing things. Or the excuse.

I am beginning to understand that there has always been a scary undertow that keeps women from blooming. It is supported by the world’s beliefs s that we continue to suppress ourselves. But our children would flourish and aspire to loving their lives if we showed them what that looked like.

Wherever you are and whatever you are doing needs to be enough. Being completely present in each moment, whether that moment contains you paying full attention to the needs of the child or yourself, is our key to mastering the trust of our momentary decisions. It needs to be the exact thing you should be doing and it needs to be enough.

Each moment we spend with our children when we intentionally pay attention to them, needs to satisfy their needs. Whether that’s listening or disciplining them. And then we can suspend our guilt when we take care of our needs because we’re modeling self-parenting for them. We are showing them self-care and self-respect.

I wrote a Creative Mother’s Manifesto almost three years ago which I’d love you to read if you feel there are still words you need to express your frustration about being in that place in between mothering and creating. And there are three interviews I did with immensely talented creative women as well as Mothers listed below. Let me know what you think about this subject.

Q & A With Creative Momma Megan Gray

Suzonne Stirling – Uber-Creative and Stylist and Mom : Q & A

Q & A with Anna Lovind, Sage and Creative Guide

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Fits and Spurts of Holiday Happenings

Christmas gives me such clarity. Doing all the necessary Christmas tasks and I feel plugged in and purposed. It gives me a legitimate excuse to not dwell on all the career procrastination I’m doing. I just want to decorate and cook and entertain.

I notice though, that even in my holiday frenzy and event planning, I hit walls. I lost energy and inspiration while decorating the house the other day. And I wanted to feel bummed until I remembered that this has happened before.

We have only so much energy and inspiration to spend in one day. So it is wise to remember you can have permission to stop. You re allowed to be uninspired and return at a later time with renewed inspiration and sense of excitement. I give you permission if you can not give it to yourself.Fits and Spurts of Holiday Happenings on Shalavee.com

I came back with an idea to use the old brick paper behind my bar and it looks great. And although the tree wasn’t inspired, it’s up and decorated and sometimes, good enough has to be good enough. I have a little more time to poke at the decorations before we swing into full Nutcracker rehearsals and cooking cooking cooking. Women bear such a responsibility for the happiness of our families especially at the holidays. I hope we all find pockets of blessed moments within the madness.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Struggling to Not Drown in the Fear Posing as Overwhelm

Today was a Monday back at the desk. I have been waiting all weekend to be free to write. And when I sat down and got myself organized, I found myself distracted and off-roading into a lathered dither about a snaffu I’m having with my pictures. I’m unhappy at not being able to do something the way I want to and created a Sabotage by overwhelm.

I’ve noticed that fear cleverly disguises itself as many seemingly logical and legitimate concerns and reasons to not do things. In my piece A Woman’s Worth, I describe how easy it is to run away from who you could be on your own and hide behind your value as a role not a person. Mother, wife, or even political volunteer can be a place to hide from stepping out and being who you truly could be but feel too vulnerable, to dependent, to afraid to do so.Struggling to Not Drown in the Fear Posing as Overwhelm on Shalavee.com

I will borrow others’ belief in me until I believe it too.

The easiest lies to buy are “I don’t have enough” time or money or experience. We buy these all day from others telling themselves by telling us. But the hard excuses are the ones where you just don’t feel like you have anything of worth to contribute. You are just as worthless as you’ve always suspected and so why try. When you have low self-esteem you spend a lifetime giving up. No matter how much you’ve proven you can, you can’t.

I will borrow others’ belief in me until I believe it too. I will set my goals, reduce the clutter, and take advantage of this time to move forward and be proud of my progress. And keep my eye out for the potholes of distraction and overwhelm.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter orPinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

With No Definition of Success Or Enough, You’re a Hamster on a Wheel

I once read that you won’t know if you have succeeded if you don’t have a picture of what success looks like. I found that profound and daunting as I wasn’t allowed to succeed so I’d be unable to come up with that. I can also see now that having no definition of enough would wear one out in a never-ending pursuit of it. The proverbial hamster’s treadmill of running and never getting there. Yet aren’t these two words the hinge pin for American success?With No Definition of Success Or Enough, You're a Hamster on a Wheel on Shalavee.com

They used to call me the Energizer Bunny because I was perpetually busy. Some think I’m still this way. I kept busy so no one would notice I had no idea what I was doing. Would I now know Success and Enough if they walked up and smacked me in the face? I’m sure they’ve tried. Low self-esteem and a Puritan work ethic kept me from my clarity.

Now that I have a dawning awareness of what makes me happy and how much I can actually accomplish, I am reverent and wary of success and enough. I feel successful in many many ways. Having sweet smart healthy independent children feels like success to me. Being in process of advancing my writing career and beginning to lead others to their creative passions feels like a success.With No Definition of Success Or Enough, You're a Hamster on a Wheel on Shalavee.com

But what of enough? Sure you know how much it takes to feed and house and clothe you and your family every year. And the costs for trips and art and music supplies and to celebrate your birthdays and go to the doctor’s. But what about savings and house repairs? There’ll never be enough of those. Or will whatever you have always be enough?

These are questions only you can answer but I think it’s also important to answer them. Because while you feel super dandy working all of those hours to make the money for your family, if you can’t spend time with that family then what’s the point? Covering the bills can be enough until such time comes as you can save. It’s up to each of us to be willing to take the knife away from our throats long enough to see what is really important. Because when tomorrow comes, you will have to sleep with your regrets regardless of your good intentions. My priorities have light brown and red hair and like to play video games and sing. How about yours?

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter orPinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

How Mrs. Doing was Forced to Have a Seat

My old nickname used to be the Energizer Bunny. I like doing. I have valued myself for the amount of doing I get done and that’s the way I’ve coped with my stress (see industrial overfocused). And while it has worked for me that I made it through the holidays feeling pretty proactive and deserving of a few relaxation hours, I have been on a familiar treadmill during January with an obligation to coordinate a fundraising event in addition to my regular parenting band. And so I kept the relentless treadmill running in my head week after never-ending week. Until this past week when my body said “Your sick, have a seat.”

As I laid there with my stomach demanding all of my attention to its achy knot riddled state, I really didn’t have any aspirations to do anything else but lay. I may have spent 15 minutes on my feet that day. And I was OK with that. Because I had done enough towards what needed to get done. And I would be well by the time my event rolled around. I was just having a seat. And that isn’t always a bad thing to be in a place of enough.How Mrs. Doing was Forced to Have a Seat on Shalavee.com

We all need a reset point. We have parties to celebrate transitions from one year’s being alive to the next. We have parties to celebrate marriages and graduations. These are all rests and markers before we continue. And I think we need to be very mindful of supplying ourselves with the same feelings of stop and rest and reflect in our more daily existence. Breaks in routing spark imagination.

It took me a few days to truly recover from the my stomach thing. Happily I may have lost another pound on my 2018 weight loss journey to fit back into my clothing. And there was truly nothing that I missed doing. My floors are still as dirty as they were before I got sick.How Mrs. Doing was Forced to Have a Seat on Shalavee.com

I was able to type while slumped in my chair and write a couple of blog posts but that was the extent of my productivity. I was truly OK with Mother Nature telling me to have a seat. And that would be a first. Maybe I’m not valuing myself as much for my measured successes but for the satisfaction of my soul? Or maybe I had a good enough head start. Either way, I feel well enough to continue. And soon this will all be a nightmare.

If you enjoyed what you read, please subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your email box. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional In-touchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

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