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All the Things

She said she was going to get “ All the Things” done while she was kid free. And I knew exactly what she meant. And now I realize why it felt so familiar. Both with my to do lists and in my creative endeavors, I fear “All the Things” are beyond what anyone needs to try to do. And I am overwhelmed and in a constant state of lack for pursuing this lie of accomplishment happiness.

Seems this is very much a Creative’s curse. We are excited by all the possibilities and want to see how each thing will add to our lives. All the thoughts, ideas, tidbits, inspirations, projects, collaborations, and goals are truly awesome by themselves. But grouped together, they suddenly become a swirling stormy pool of chaos that I find so easily sucks me in and pulls me under. And if the word “Should” is attached to them, they are double doomed.All the Things on Shalavee.com

Everything has merit until it all becomes too much. Then none of it matters. Because you wouldn’t know where to start. This state of affairs has possessed my mail program, my desktop, my craft room, my attic, and my garden. And I am beginning to get the sneaky suspicion that I have unconsciously masterminded it all this way to keep myself from actually making progress.

Why, you ask, wouldn’t I want to be making progress? Because progress may mean more visibility than I am comfortable with. More work, more responsibility, and more more more. So I am just making sure I have less by having more? Yup, it’s a system that didn’t work for my creative predecessors and fellow creatives, and definitely isn’t working for me.All the Things on Shalavee.com

So what do I do? Begin again to clear out the clutter and the cobwebs mentally and physically so that I can feel the ease of creating without the confusion. I believe that new ideas will always find you. That inspiration is right behind you. And that we have limitless amounts of talent to deliver up our unique vision to the world.

Every day is a good day to start over again. Let’s begin again. Read my earlier post on my Empty Box Method to get an idea on how to move and sort through your chaos.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter orPinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

One Thought On Hoarding and Chaos

I’ve been done knowing I need to write a declaration/manifesto about my passions to share with the world on the subjects of Establishing Self-trust by Indulging Creativity and Creativity and Motherhood. Yesterday, I sat down and slogged out a 500 word piece only to find, when I put it in a file with some other Manifestos I’d already written, I’d pretty much written this piece out twice before. And did a better job both times. Again, I stumble on my mental chaos.

This chaos is most evident with all of my computer desktop’s documents and folders and by the multitude of scraps of paper in the miscellaneous folders stacked up around my work places. Reflections of my busy creative mind yes. But also an sign that my chaos keeps me off track.  I am very good at generating ideas but apparently not so good at systematizing them into action. And eventually the spark dies and they get buried inside folder upon folder.One thought on hoarding and chaos on Shalavee.com

So I stood here and decided that once and for all, I’d create one notebook that would keep and contain my current ongoing projects, goals, and thoughts. Why do I not have a system to contain all of this already? Because in keeping myself in chaos, I get to continue to stay invisible and risk free. Who can maintain a thought train and track goal tasks when there’s all of this going on? Brilliantly self-sabotaging. Thank you very little.

I have lived a life of giving up. When you have low self-esteem, you spend a lifetime of giving up. You continue to abandon yourself just as you felt you were abandoned as a child. And so the abandonment of all these sparks and starts and spurts is par for that course. Except, it feels like some sort of horrible nightmare from which I want to awaken. I no longer want to live in chaos, in my mind or in my house.

So today, I finally took a step. Again, I wrangled and considered what I have thought and sorted out new priorities from old. It feels transformative. It feels powerful to stop the cycle. To gather myself and show up for me. The clearing is a life pattern and I accept that it will have to happen many more times in my lifetime. But for now, Good Enough.

If you enjoyed what you read, please subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your email box. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional In-touchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

The 100 Day Project : Days 34 through 54

Me and my fellow 100 Day Project participants have just passed the halfway mark in this challenge. And the project feels like a living organism and I am along for the ride it is giving me. Yet I’m feeling a calm come over me. It’s the knowledge that I am good for my word. My inner child has been able to play every day for nearly two months. That is a noble and worthy attempt.

The fact that you have a given task to create allows for you to not debate over “if” but allows for you to further decide the when of your task and “how” it will take form. I may grab a few objects to draw in advance but sometimes I am inspired to grab something. Like my drawings of Baby bunny and the dollar bill.

The other really interesting offshoot of this somewhat lonely project is all the people who are now watching my daily progress. Random people from all facets of my life keep telling me that they are fascinated by my objects. That drawing everyday objects seems to somehow be compellingly simple yet has deeper meaning.

To see the first three weeks post, go here.

To see drawings 14 through 33, go here.

So as 100 Days of Shalagh continues (that’s my personal hashtag, #100DaysofShalagh), I am also hosting a thirty day creativity challenge during June. The Our Creative June Challenge is a great way to put yourself to the task of creating every day and perchance making a habit of it. But also, there’s a lovely community that comes along with it provided you post pictures of your work on Instagram and add the hashtag #OurCreativeJune. All skill levels of art and technology are welcome.

 

If you enjoyed what you read, please subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your email box. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional In-touchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

 

100 Days Project Starts Tomorrow

I’m doing the 100 days project starting tomorrow because for so very long, I felt like I couldn’t create. At this point, I’ve spent the better part of my adult life selling myself short. I know everyone around me knew I could do way more than I was allowing myself to see I could do. Tragic but not unchangeable.

I started to think, actually hear the words “I can” in my head somewhat recently. That every time I thought of possibilities of achievement, I didn’t suddenly feel like some sort of snail that wanted to retreat back into my shell at the fearful thought of venturing forward. I heard myself say “I can” instead. That’s some powerful mojo shifting right there.100 Day Project Starts Tomorrow on Shalavee.com

So when I considered participating in the 100 Day project starting tomorrow, I realized that I could because I’d already done this last year. See my previous post on the 100 Day Project here and feel free to follow along with me on Instagram. I’m mostly sure I’ll be sketching little sketches of little moments of my world every day. I was inspired by my daughter.

Creativity and authenticity are truths worth living.

Thank you for your readership and your support.

And if you missed the publication of my Wholehearted Story on the Quiet Writing blog, see that here.

If you enjoyed what you read, please subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your email box. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional In-touchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Give Yourself the Credibility for the Courage You’ve Already Shown

It took me exactly 51 years and 179 days to have the courage to get here. There’s much that I will not remember about this half century I’ve lived. And there’s much that I could remember if I put my mind to thinking about it. But I think the greatest tragedy is the disrespect we can show ourselves as we forget ourselves. As we underplay our achievements.

When we invalidate ourselves by blowing off a compliment or comparing how we feel about ourselves compared to what we perceive someone else is/has/has done, we commit such a crime against our own humanity. We invalidate our own existence.Give Yourself the Credibility for the Courage You've Already Shown on shalavee.com

We invalidate our own existence.

But what of all the people who benefited from our actions and our presence? Like in It’s a Wonderful Life, were we to take ourselves out of the equation and nullify our actions, we’d most likely cause irreparable harm to those people whose lives we’ve touched.

It takes tremendous courage to be us everyday. It takes courage to get married, get divorced, have children, and endeavor anything. We make creative risks daily whether they’re what we cook for dinner or what jobs/tasks we take on outside our homes, we are using courage we apparently undervalue.Give Yourself the Credibility for the Courage You've Already Shown on shalavee.com

Yesterday I remembered a challenge I’d hosted that I’d forgotten from a year and a half ago. I am re-losing the weight that I’ve lost before. I’m full of so much more talent and experience than I ever give myself credit for. And while I’m not going to rewrite my resume today, I’m going to be extra mindful about what I tell myself I don’t have the courage for and can’t do. Because after a half a century plus, I think there’s a lot I can in fact do and do well.

If you enjoyed what you read, please subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your email box. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional In-touchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

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