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KIndness

Why is it we think that we assume other people will suck? That they’ll be mean to us if we ask them for a hand or a hot shot. Why are we so surprised when we are rewarded with humanity.

I have recently noticed that when I present myself to the world with a glad and kind heart, a smile and a wave, and a little more confidence than I used to have, I am rewarded with the same. In fact, my kindness expands as I give it out. I touch them with the flame and they light up.

Kindness is the gift that keeps on giving. It costs nothing yet it is so valuable as it spreads exponentially expanding in heart after heart. 

The final frontier for many of us is practicing kindness with ourselves. To be as gentle and compassionate as we would with an animal, with ourselves. That kindness is what the world needs most of all.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Pumpkin Smashers

I was a city kid, savvy to the dangers of the incivility of civilization. I’ve had to field unwanted advance from local celebrities, fend off junkies and drunks on the public bus, and walk home at nighttime from work. But I don’t think I’ve ever felt more upset than when I had my jack o’ lantern smashed at Halloween when I was in my 30’s.

Of course it was the neighborhood teenagers and I knew better than to have left it out. But it was then that I coined the phrase “pumpkin smashers” to describe “those” people. The people who are without compassion for the efforts of others’ creativity. People who are insensitive and completely entitled to treat other people like “its”.

And what I’ve realized is that there are pumpkin smashers in all life’s arenas, not just on your street on Halloween. People lurking on the internet and Facebook whose only care is for themselves and their righteousness. They will criticize you and your stuff as quickly as picking a chunk of mud from their shoe and then quickly move off to do it to someone else.

I get that the world is full of pumpkin smashers. But why do we let them get to us? Why are we so incensed by their lack of compassion? How can they be so thoughtless and rude? It’s breaking the rules of civility, morality, and humanity to act that way. But these people are not our equals. They are wounded toddlers. And they are the real ones in need of our compassion.

So the next time you get a knee jerk reaction to a pumpkin smasher, take a moment to consider it is absolutely not about you. It’s about their lacks, their sadness, and their losses. And extend to them the compassion that they so desperately need to give to themselves. They may borrow it, they may not but it’s the only humanity they may have all day.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

The World Could Be Healed By a Weighty Blanket of Compassion

You’ve heard it over and over. The antidote to our toxic self-hatred and judgment is compassion. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We agree but somehow that doesn’t seem to fit with how we feel and treat ourselves on a daily basis. We count on our driving ourselves hard to make progress, to make money, and to make our lives worth it. Compassion is not productive.

I’m in my therapy appointment today and it occurs to me and my therapist that perhaps I am still judging my teen self for some things. And where I may have forgiven my parents or you for doing your substandard best, I may still be holding myself in a vice for some choices. And frankly, I don’t want to hold myself prisoner anymore. I want to be allowed to be human.The World Could Be Healed By a Weighty Blanket of Compassion on Shalavee.com

The one and ONLY way to counteract self-hate, and that oogy sub-human feeling we bathe in consistently and unconsciously, is self-compassion. Instead, we only gently need to say I am sorry that that happened. I know you must have been doing the very best you could. I’m sorry I couldn’t protect you from that. That must have sucked. I forgive your humanity. I forgive you.

Try it sometime. Heap a weighty blanket of compassion on yourself and everyone. Break the spell and be what the world needs you to be, Human.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

The Lesson I Relearn : It Takes as Long as It Takes

I am ecstatic to report that I have made such immense strides lately. I saw my therapist yesterday and I had so much progress to report, I was almost surprised for all I had to tell her. And I talked so non-nonchalantly; no big deal. But let me tell you, this progress is a very big deal.

I can remember often holding myself emotionally hostage, frustrated because I wasn’t further along than I was. How come that person seems so far along in their journey? They apparently have figured out how to move beyond their fear so why can’t I ?

The Lesson I Relearn : It Takes as Long as It Takes on Shalavee.com

But those thoughts are crap and here’s why. Their progress and mine are apples and oranges. Most likely, their origin stories and mine are nothing alike. And the more I do this comparison crap to myself, the more I guarantee that I will stay exactly where I am.

In order to move from where you are,

You have to allow yourself to be

exactly where you are.

Forgiveness and compassion are the only ways that you will move from where you are. Shame will keep you cemented interminably in this spot and you are doomed to repeat the crappy feeling cycle like some sort of living purgatory.

I sat back and watched myself for a while. I gave myself compassion as I had the strength and wisdom to give. And then, I made one change, did one thing that I needed to do to move on. Started one habit, reached out to one person, gave up one ultimatum and moved on from where I was stuck.

And it’s feeling really really good. Stay tuned for more updates on the progress.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Evolution Revolution : Using Our Brains Differently

Whether you know it or not, there’s an evolution revolution currently occurring. We are being asked to raise our consciousnesses and consider how we treat ourselves. We can move from reactive living to proactive living if we use our brains differently.

All the buzz about mindfulness isn’t bunk and here’s why. We have two different parts of our brains that we use. There’s the back brain and the front brain. The back brain is the primitive brain that works on autopilot and is responsible for fear. It says it’s keeping us safe but actually would keep us from evolving if it had its way.

The front brain is the place where we make intelligent decisions. It’s our proactive place, our “I’ve got this” place, and we’re woefully under-utilizing it. In fact, we don’t trust it, and consequently ourselves. The need to connect with ourselves has brought on an onslaught of self-healing practices of which meditation is truly the best bet on self-connection.

When we sit and allow ourselves to be instead of do, we come to understand what we can and cannot control and who we are and aren’t. We connect with ourselves and a higher power to simplify life and magnify what it is that is truly important. In order to make a difference and help our world, we need to be humble enough to know that trying is all we can do but we must try. And we must have compassion for ourselves when we fail. And try again.

Evolution Revolution : Using Our Brains Differently on Shalavee.com

In order to change the world in a fearlessly all in kinda way, we’re going to have to act more from the front brain mode. We’re going to have to figure out how to raise a generation that isn’t constantly apologizing for itself. That knows what stellar treatment it’s entitled to. We are going to have to intentionally improve our souls to pass the betterment on to the next generation. So that they may feel entitled to evolve out of Fear and into Love.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

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