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Valuing Our Belonging and Creating Community

Without a sense of belonging and knowing our own value in the world, we see no one there for us. We do not see ourselves within a community simply because we cannot understand how and why they would value us. Further, we’re suspicious of them if they do tout our value. What do they want from us?

Our families may be the only people we interact with and this may be similarly stressful. Yes you have to show up because you’re family but do you really like me for the person I am?

This sense of not belonging in the world, even within one’s own family, is a devastating and debilitating symptom of our dissociated society. Our need to be accepted as ourselves is so primal yet we end up selling ourselves short to find acceptance for the people we are not.

I am summarizing the brilliant work of Brene Brown on vulnerability and courage because I see it as the base for all that ails us. We can not be authentically ourselves so we cannot create. We don’t allow ourselves to create to find our authentic selves. We then must buy our status, our identity in the world causing debting and economic problems. And at the end, all we want is just to be appreciated for who we actually truly are.Valuing Our Belonging and Creating Community on shalavee.com

Our longing to be vulnerable and accepted has us running on a hamster wheel to achieve the Prize of Perfect but when we are appreciated and liked, we find we are alone in this crowd. Our greatest fear of being alone and not belonging to the people we are with has been realized.

Our need to be accepted as ourselves is so primal yet we end up selling ourselves short to find acceptance for the people we are not.

My thought is that if we started with the absolute understanding that everyone was feeling the same way, if we gave grace and acknowledgement to ourselves and others, we’d fast break down our pretend perfection walls. And that in those moments when we were with others being seen for our true selves, we’d never be able to stop the community from happening.Valuing Our Belonging and Creating Community on shalavee.com

As humans, we are hardwired for connection. We are tribal. Trick is to start with the people who truly do get you. And be vulnerable and willing to build from there. I guarantee they’ll show you your value every time you are with them. And you’ll know the meaning of community and its necessity.

If you enjoyed what you read, please subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your email box. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional In-touchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

I’m Saying Yes to the 100 Day Project 2018

It was several years ago that I first heard about the 100 Days Project. Instagram is the chosen media outlet to share participants’ progress of this “100 days of making” project and many of my artistic making acquaintances on Instagram were participating. But I definitely remember thinking, “Not I”. There was no way I could commit to something for that long. Until I did last summer.I'm Saying Yes to the 100 Day Project 2018 on shalavee.com

It all started with Our Creative May. Actually it started in April with another project that led into my sponsored May project where myself and other people I knew from Instagram all joined for one month of arting and posting with the #ourcreativeselves hashtag too. And then I took the leap and joined the Icad project in June and July. The index card a day project asks that you art on an index card daily for 60 days straight. At the end, I’d done a 100 days and hadn’t even considered that it was that much.

The great surrender is the process;

showing up day after day is the goal.”

So yes, I am here to announce that I will be willingly participating in the #100DayProject because it is time to rejoin myself in the craft room for some daily collaging . The project launches Tuesday April 3rd, 2018 and will be winding up on July 11th. What I can tell you truthfully is that self-trust is a self-created and extremely necessary commodity. (It would seem I have learned this lesson over and over. There was even an Our Creative September project prior to the May project.) I'm Saying Yes to the 100 Day Project 2018 on shalavee.com

If you are curious about how this free global art project got started, go to www.the100dayproject.org. Artist Ella Luna of the blog The Great Discontent and Lindsay Jean Thomson are the two fabulous women who lead this endeavor. Community and women and self-trust are their priorities as well.

If you enjoyed what you read, please subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your email box. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional In-touchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

People Come and They Go

I saw a gentleman at church who I’d not seen in a while. And I remarked that it is the nature of us as people to come and go, to join and disappear. It’s a sad but true fact sometimes. People come and they go.

There are so many groups that I am a member of on Facebook. Groups for bloggers and mamas and creatives and who knows what else. But I am not there anymore. There was a purpose for them in my life and now there isn’t. It’s a sad but true fact. People come and they go.

We move on. Our circles expand and contract. We shift communities with schools and jobs and interests. It would be nice to stay in touch with many of these people who’s company we really enjoyed but their lives were shifting too. Our shifting is inevitable.People come and they go on Shalavee.com

As humans we sooo want everything to stay the same. We want comfort and continuity and constancy. But the only thing we can count on is the flux. And the only way we can not lose ourselves to it is to be here now. Be with our people with all of ourselves and show up for them and keep connected with them.

And when they leave, know that it’s their lives that they are living or letting go of. They need to persue what makes them happy and we need to wish them luck in the hopes they would do the same for us.

If you enjoyed what you read, please subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your email box. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional In-touchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Your Community

The beginning of the year found me dreading my duties ahead. I had somehow volunteered to spearhead our fellowship’s fundraiser and I was not excited. My ego was dreadfully afraid of failing and two wise men gave me some extraordinary advice. One said, “your community will show up for you” and the other said, “if it fails, it’s your community that will have failed not you”. Permission and perspective were gained immediately.

 

Two days ago, I sent out an email requesting help with the food for this Cuban themed event. I needed some traditional cooking as well as some “buy it” and “pour it” in a bowl types of supplies. And within 12 hours, my people showed up and were on board for all the items. All of them. I could have cried.Your Community on Shalavee.com

 

Asking for anything is tremendously hard. You risk rejection when you ask. But when you are asking on behalf of a community, it feels like double jeopardy. Your good name and your cause are at stake. But our egos somehow forget that the Community concept means we are collectively responsible. In fact, those who care about the community as well are so glad that they’re not the one doing all the work, they’ll be glad to grab those chips or make that cake to show their gratitude for the efforts being made.

 

Equally important, how else can you learn your humility life lessons but through being of service to your community? Be that community your church, your school, your county, or gender, showing up holds so much power and impacts everyone. The efforts show us our value and shows others their value to us. In this instance, being in this process showed me how generous and loving my fellowship is when my fear of failure wanted to be my message.

Your Community on Shalavee.com

I will be immensely grateful to have accomplished this Herculean task and proven that I could. But I will also try not to lose sight that I must trust in my community as they have shown me their honor and reliability. Those are good reasons to keep being devoted. And I wanted to make sure that this lesson was not left unspoken.

If you enjoyed what you read, please subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your email box. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional In-touchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Self-Trust and The Need to Acknowledge Our Creativity

At some point, modern thought leaders had to listen to and value their own creativity to form their theories and opinions that were outside their culturally acceptable boxes. They had to weave what they knew with what they felt and go beyond the conformity edict from their schooling. And thus we had the Civil Rights movement, Jung’s counter theories to Freud’s, and Sandra Lee’s Semi-Homemade food revolution.

When we acknowledge how we feel about our world around us and share it, we find a comfort and a trust within ourselves and in this experience, we are rewarded with praise and wonder. This is a basic premise for our existence and the magic of creativity.Self-Trust and The Need to Acknowledge Our Creativity on Shalavee.com

Yet the outright fear I see in people’s faces when I mention the idea of allowing themselves to be creative is alarming. The general population is not supported in being true to themselves. Instead, they are told that if they do as they are told, stand in line, fit in, and prepare for the worse, they will live safe lives. Somehow safe became happy. And so we sell our individuality down the river for a promise of security.

But fitting in feels like crap. It’s in the company of the people you know you belong with that you feel most at home regardless of whether you are related to them. Your values are the same, you see each other as you truly are, and you call them community.Self-Trust and The Need to Acknowledge Our Creativity on Shalavee.com

The world isn’t a community and it does not support individuality. Sure, unique creative people are rewarded with movie and music contracts to entertain the masses but they still had to prove their creativity and uniqueness beforehand. They had to strike someone as profitable too. We ironically crave to see it and are equally terrified by it.

What happens when we express our true selves and become vulnerable? We fear that we will be rejected even outcast. It seems a sort of death. But creating has no bearing on our daily survival right? But then again, how can I ever trust people who like my false offering of myself? I mistrust those who do not know the true me and if I am not allowing for the true me to be seen, I will stay alone and suspicious of the world I long to belong to.Self-Trust and The Need to Acknowledge Our Creativity on Shalavee.com

We are pack animals. Being alone only serves to make us nuttier. Perfectionism is only about us and keeps us from connecting with others. And connecting with others is where we truly live. Where we can find hope is in our collective humanity when we hear others telling the same stories we could tell of fear and loneliness and our experience with human drama.

When we do not practice our own individuality, we feel disoriented and disconnected from ourselves and there is no reflection of us in the world. This causes us strife and anxiety. Our purpose here is unclear and we just end up surviving and grieving what we don’t understand is our birthright to give ourselves. Not allowing ourselves to be creative and instead to search for ourselves by shopping in a discount store leaves us with a feeling of crazed hopelessness.

So where are the psychological statistics that support this need to shift our educational practices? Where are the warnings that tell us we are not what we buy! Nowhere because they aren’t profitable. And people do as they know. So I guess the change is up to the people. In fact, it’s always been up to each of us.Self-Trust and The Need to Acknowledge Our Creativity on Shalavee.com

We can not possibly make any lasting differences in our world if we don’t prioritize our mental health first. And a society that considers anxieties and low self-esteem as a norm seems pretty powerless to make any changes. We need to start by trusting ourselves. If that takes a few anti-anxiety meds, group meetings, and some really ugly artwork, so be it.

Once you see what you can break free of, you can never truly see things the same way again. And your hope and self-trust spreads as you reach your hand out to help the next person see a little light in their dark world. Hope is a gift you give yourself and one you can eventually help to give your world. It is my hope that just one person today has a perspective shift on their need to create and thus find out who they are in their world and what they need to shift to support this change.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your email box. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest  too. I am always practicing Intentional In-touchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

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