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The Process and the Presence will Release You

There’s a lie we seem to like to tell ourselves, probably one that others sold us on once. That to be the best us, we need to have arrived somewhere. A set of circumstances needs to be in place, be that an amount of money or success or a certain weight. And we will be OK when this is set, and not until then. We’ve replaced process with destination.

I am reminded of my bedtime ritual as a kid. There were two alligators and a fox under my bed and only when I had on my clean underwear and then my PJs on was I safe from them. Except it was all a construct of my imagination. And when we’re all grown up, we are certain that those goals  are all adult and on the up and up. And so are the feelings of anxiety because we haven’t reached them. They are most certainly reliable indications that we need to work harder to achieve these things.The Process and the Presence will Release You on Shalavee.com

So like rats on a treadmill, we exhaust ourselves in the pursuit of enough. When there really is only one now that we can live while our fears play us for the fear junkies that we are.

We have forgotten the importance of process. That it is through finding out what we are and what we truly need to be complete (hint: not anything we can get at Wal-Mart) that we’ll find we are home with ourselves and no longer scrabbling for the unobtainable “enough”.The Process and the Presence will Release You on Shalavee.com

Allow for your process. In fact, thank the process when it messes your plans up. It’s trying to show you a better path. Ask yourself, what am I to learn from this detour and then learn it. As you collect your gleaned tidbits, your lessons, your insights, and your grief, you can be proud of you going forward. Because that messiness is exactly how you become a better you. The rinse and repeat of the daily anxiety dance will get you more of the same scared life. And the presence of mind to learn from yourself now will release you.

If you enjoyed what you read, please subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your email box. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional In-touchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Live in The Chaotic Moment (Now is all you Have)

This was several days ago looking into my kitchen. I grabbed the moment and my perspective through my camera. The recycling had already been taken to the dump yet a pile awaited its shuffle into the very frigid garage. The counters and stove were covered in grease and crumbs and dirty dishes. The groceries yet to be unpacked. Complete chaos.

And having used up all of my leftovers and depleted my grocery supply, I did a fruits,veggies, and milk shop (a woman at the store exclaimed that all she wanted now was a salad!). I went ahead and made pots of both turkey chili and beef stew for our New Year’s Eve nosh. They were made with such love and they’re just delicious. I think I was glad to be alone in the kitchen without demand to entertain or command to play.

Live in the Chaotic Moment on Shalavee.com


Today, instead of feeling like I have to rush to usher my crispy tree out to the curb and clean my house to within an inch of my life, I am of a stealth mind instead. That’s how I got through the holidays so deftly as well. And this is how it’s done.


You keep putting one foot in front of the other. You don’t rush off to the future or the meaning of life with or without this task done. You hold a steady gaze on what you need and what needs to be done to receive that gift of accomplishment and you continue. Because you do get there eventually, don’t you? Live in the Chaotic Moment on Shalavee.com

Playing the overwhelm card never served my happier self, only my anxious self. Emotional maturity means you step back and renovate your ways one moment and one thought choice at a time. So this is me re-choosing my process. Sure my house is a filthy mess but who cares? We are having fun!

If you enjoyed what you read, please subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your email box. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional In-touchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Plans and Choices Are Yours to Make

When I became a new Mom, I perfected part of my system of finding hope by making plans. I would go to the library and collect books on whatever my questioned subject was. And then I would read and read and read. I’d grab some knowledge tidbit from these books and make a plan to use it. This would give me hope to change the outcome I’d been enduring, (think baby perpetually waking at 3 am or continuing to stand up in crib instead of falling asleep) and get me through the days better by fighting my anxiety with an action plan. My confidence was still wobbly but, armed with more knowledge, I believed I had the power to solve my problem.

 

There is no one right way to do self-development. We are all unique and our needs are different for each. Sure we may all benefit from some of the same skill-building exercises but our journeys and life recipes for success are so specific to us, we can not follow anyone’s path but our own.Plans and choices on Shalavee.com

 

Our paths and the choices we make to create them are unique and specific to us. No one but you can tell you what this looks like. You need to tell you. As scary as that is, it’s also liberating. We have the right , the freedom, and the obligation to create our own paths using our own intuitions. Our intuition tells us what we need to know and learn next. And the largest trick, after admitting we’re the ones controlling our lives and our futures, is tuning into our intuitions and hearing what they say.

 

But if we listen hard enough, we can hear hope and excitement burbling up out of our souls. When we engage in pursuing our curiosity and our passions, we discover the ideas and the plans that will be the choices that work for us.

Plans and choices on Shalavee.com

I believe it’s never too late to start listening to ourselves. To give the credibility of choices to our inner child to decide a direction of joy for us to pursue even part-time is a balloon for your soul. My wise husband says, “If you’re not having fun, you’re not doing it right.” And I want to say that definitely applies to your life as a whole. So follow your inklings and twinklings and see where they take you. And listen to everyone who makes sense until they stop. And to yourself when you start.

 

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your email box. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest  too. I am always practicing Intentional In-touchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

 

They Do Not Have a Plan for You, You Do

There are several issues that I could holler from the rooftops about. The importance of these issues has become abundantly clear for me as I continue to write and speak about what I’m thinking and working on. One of these bones I’ll chew on til my dying day concerns the power we have but ignore to make out lives better.

I spent too many years giving my power away to anyone who wanted it. Nothing I lived seemed to be my choice. My bosses, my ex-boyfriends, and my ex-husband were all the masters of my destiny and my resulting misery. I was not. Until that moment when I realized that I had chosen them to be mean to myself. To treat me the way I felt about myself : badly. And after the grief of this realization subsided, I was truly free.They don't have ou do on Shalavee.coma plan, y

They” do not have a plan for you. You need to make a plan for you. Your plan can include whomever and whatever you’d like until you don’t like it anymore. But it will always be your plan, your choice. And the sooner you know that it’s all your journey to navigate, the sooner you get to choose the directions and the upgrades you want to make to your life’s vehicle for the journey. Your destination is always Now.

Everyone’s journey is completely different. It’s so unfair to compare them. And the work you do to mend yourself and reach your goals may not be linear. I have jumped around and studied and learned from anything and anyone that struck my fancy. I followed my intuition and my curiosity to heal my inner child. I spoke my most sincere fears to my therapist and she offered me what she had. I built and bridged gaps in my knowledge of myself until I began to know I had truly begun to rebuild my understanding of me and the life I wanted to be living instead.They don't have ou do on Shalavee.coma plan, you do on Shalavee.com

This is a puzzle that is so worth the effort. Just as your knowledge continues to grow and can never be taken from you, the work you invest in you is yours to benefit from as long as you live, and even longer if you’ve left your thoughts written down. Yes, there are some people who don’t want to be accountable for themselves but I think life is really boring without this work. I am thrilled to work on me and share and glean from other people in my community that spreads throughout the world.

The puzzle that is a happier life worth living is yours to put together. There is no right way. And you can’t find the instructions or the approval for it online. It is both freeing and terrifying to know this is now yours to conduct and compose. There are internal intangibles that you need to grab with faith from within. And then you just need to begin. I’ll be here if you need a cheerleader or a bit of inspiration.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter orPinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

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You Don’t Have What They Want, It’s Nothing Personal

Everything that happens to you isn’t personal. In fact most of it isn’t. Sometimes a person can’t give me what I want because they can’t see anything in me that they need either. The world and the people in it don’t consider you half as important as you consider yourself and that’s got to be OK. In accepting the non-personal nature of our days, we could spend less time worrying about our worth and more on coming up with better schemes to get our needs met.

We’re all operating with different motivations, different GASs. What I’ve got to offer you may have nothing to do with your GAS (give-a-shoot). I have to look at this one. While my GAS is to be published and the publisher’s GAS is to find something that fits their criteria, if I submit something that they don’t perceive as being a “good fit” for their publication’s needs, that’s not to be interpreted as my writing was bad. I ran into this wall too much the last time I went to submit my work but this next round, I’m hoping to find better magazines/publications that fit my genre. And then I need my submission numbers to beat the odds.You don't have what they want, it's nothing personal on Shalavee.com

Sometimes people are having a bad day and you aren’t what they need to make it better. I walked into a restaurant and the waitperson who met me at the door was curt. I wanted to be offended and focus on how customer service needed to include a smile and an AOk attitude. But I decided to let it go. Because it wasn’t about me. The following lunch was delightful because I lead with my positive attitude.

So often, we are all rushing about tripping over each others egos. Taking offense over things that aren’t about us and applying these offenses back to our worth. We have to be very very careful who we give power to in this world. I certainly don’t want to spend all my good energy today on the person who gave me bad service in a drive-through food line. Just because they are having a bad day doesn’t mean I should too.You don't have what they want, it's nothing personal on Shalavee.com

If you want to be successful at what you do, or even in what you are doing today, you need to figure out who the people are that want what you’ve got to give. Who does give-a-shoot about you and what you have to offer because you are giving to them in a way that makes them happy too. It’s complicated but it isn’t. Once you know everything isn’t about you, you can then focus on making a specific set of things about you and making other people’s lives better as well as your own. In the end, your happiness is what runs, or ruins, your world. Honor that by keeping it separate from the people you deal with daily and allow them to be free of your judgement as well.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter orPinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

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