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Are You Struck Too by Mankind’s Generosity in this Crisis?

One action is striking me in this time of quietly awaiting the restart of our lives. Yes, the absolute idiocy of our American government and how smart my daughter is aside,  the richness and generosity of the human spirit. All the efforts of people to help one another with food and assistance definitely increases my feelings of faith in mankind.

That after we’re over getting through this, we can see exactly what was always important to us as individuals and as civilizations. The word civil being the operative word. Money and fear have been governing our world for too long while our world’s environment and children need feeding and care. No amount of money saved at Walmart will get us closer to these.Are You Struck Too by Mankind's Generosity in this Crisis? on Shalavee.com

If there’s one thing that will make you and me feel better any day of our lives, it’s to make a difference to someone, for someone. So send love to people, both loved ones and strangers alike. Be a part of healing us and yourself. Show up for others without the need to be acknowledged for it and you’ll receive more rewards than you ever imagined.

I am making art everyday for myself and others. I am sending cards and compliments and company. I am feeding the cats, squirrels, blue jays, and anything else that likes Purina cat food. I am being present for myself and my kids. What else is there?

Want to read more of my viral diaries?

Now is When We Need Self-Compassion

What’s a Sunday Feel Like?

What Life Will You Choose When This is Done?

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

There is More to Say in Silence

People have commented how they have heard the birds chirping more recently. I think the birds are chirping the same as they ever do but we’ve slowed our busy selves down enough to hear them. This pandemic is indeed causing a jarring shut down yet I understand that once you’ve stopped fighting the change, you start to become mindful of the silence. It’s a forced meditation.

I believe our overall society is too distracted from what truly matters. We would rather run away than just be with ourselves. We sit in the same room as our loved ones and escape through TV’s and headphones and devices. The family is endured but not necessarily enjoyed.

Because my husband and I are non-traditional age parents (old people with kids), we are in a better place to understand what a joy we have while it lasts with these children. I am always mindful of what they are experiencing and doing, always witnessing and recording their lives for them for later. And I can say that this forced time together has brought us closer in many ways I didn’t foresee.

Family values are about respecting ourselves and the choices we made to become parents. Parenting is about doing the best for them as well as for ourselves. And somehow, I think this quarantine and less busyness can be seen as a good thing if we take the time to listen in the silence to what our souls are asking us to hear. That we can respect ourselves, our boundaries, others’ boundaries, and still be in relationship to one another. In fact, we can take this opportunity to tell the truths we may not have heard over the din of the former “progress” we were making.

What do you hear now that the world has slowed to a halt? What do you realize you can not do without?

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Are Expectations for Your Children a Good or Bad Thing?

As a parent, there are so many expectations we have of how our children are “supposed to” develop. Milestones that we expect them to reach by a certain age and if they don’t, we question,”Is there something wrong with them?” Society has thrown many markers at us parents for what “normal” child development should look like. And it messes the parenting process up all to heck.

When my son was two, he wasn’t speaking yet. The in-laws were worried he may be autistic. I knew he was just developing his physical skills first. But my husband insisted his worries were just as valid as the “other” parent so we got him a speech therapist. She had really cool toys to play with once a week with Eamon. Despite concerns, once he began talking, he did so in sentences very quickly . Expecting boys to be as verbal as girls will frustrate you.

Meanwhile, I really wanted him to be potty trained at the same time. I was super sick of all of that diaper business. But my wanting him to be potty trained seemed the very thing that he was punking out against. My expectations of him only served as a negative. Because if you want your child to do it, they will do the opposite. Reverse psychology is a brilliant tactic at any age.Are Expectations for Your Children a Good or Bad Thing? on Shalavee.com

So the question becomes, where do you stand with expectations? If you have none for your child, will they automatically expect themselves to do certain things that will guarantee them success. If you don’t expect them to go to college, will they expect themselves to? Probably not. They’re simultaneously interpreting your expectations as what their abilities are. If I don’t expect them to do something, is this my way of saying I think their incapable of it?

But expectations can also leave no room for individualism. If I expect my children to be straight and get married and they want neither, there may be a rift between us. Expectations need to be tempered with love and acceptance. You have to find the clutch point in the relationship. The point where your desires for them help them uphold themselves to worthy life goals but don’t push them away from you or who they think they are.

As always, parenting includes a lot of touch and run and a great dose of “Good luck with that.”

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Labor of Mom Love

My sister asked if I had any plans for the day. I said nah, I’m not doing anything. Just my regular stuff, no big deal. And she says, I would say you do a lot of stuff and a big deal. And I realize that I just belittled myself and all the hard work I put into my house that I do make it look clean and easy.

I am at the store with my son and he asks if this half a cart full of groceries is a regular size shop. I ask if he knows how many meals a week I am responsible for. 21 meals and that includes any that I have to pay for at his school via the computer. Multiply that by four people. But I just expect I must do this because that’s what I do.

I don’t think there’s any occupation that takes itself more for granted than motherhood. Mother’s Day Needs to be a week in which everyone else takes over the Mom’s job so they actually experience the ridiculousness of it.labor of Mom Love on Shalavee.com

But in the same breath, it is also up to us to wean and train our families to rely on us less. To show them the necessity of chores and hygiene to maintain self-respect. To encourage them to claim confidence in this adulting thing.

Labors of Love are always a given with me. But I also have scolded my children for taking advantage of my kindness and generosity. I model self-respect so that they may do the same to their children later.

So this is my Ode to Motherhood, the Labor of Love that we are guilty of taking for granted. May you enjoy lots of it in your life.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

You Have a Right to Hear Yourself Speak

I believe very strongly in the power of words. To ignite, to soothe, to pinpoint, or to release. From a young age, I began to write so that I could hear what I was thinking and to work out where I was. I found the therapeutic value in hearing myself think and felt my value there.

As children, there’s an implied “Shush” everywhere we go. We are too loud, we don’t know what we’re talking about, we’re inappropriate, or we just need to be seen and not heard. Adults are intolerant of children yet the smalls ones are much wiser in many ways than us. They laugh when things are funny. They still feel exuberant and free from self-editing when they speak their minds.

When we grow up, we understand the importance of not rocking the boat. Of keeping a low profile. Of being normal. But sadly, we also censor the most passionate honest parts of ourselves. Further, when we no longer speak with our inner voices, we are no longer listening to ourselves. We are no longer ourselves. We’re Stepford versions of us. Good dutiful Do-bees. The anti-us.

You Have a Right to Hear Yourself Speak on Shalavee.com

There is definitely a difference between speaking up and making a difference and knowing your words are futile. Why bother. But I think we forget that there is magic in hearing yourself think and speak regardless of how it is received. We have a right to speak our minds in America and we owe ourselves the effort to acknowledge our own feelings.

For me, there is power in the process of writing what I think and handing it out to the world. There is magic in transferring what I feel and gifting it to someone else to perhaps spark a feeling in them too. We build on each others thoughts as a world community. The sparks and the gifts of our communications swirl and rise our collective consciousness. In this way, we not only owe ourselves the gift of speaking our thoughts, we owe the world too.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

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