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Living in Paradox

It occurred to me recently that life necessitates living in a paradox more than we seem to be comfortable with. Our need to categorize and be perfectly right has us believing there’s a right way or there’s the highway. But I’ve bumped into several situations that would seem we need to lighten up and accept we can live on both sides.

 

I read somewhere, “You’re allowed to be Ok where you are and want something different too” and I froze. What? How is that possible? My disgust with my body would necessitate changing it, right? But now I am being given permission to be Ok with my body and also create an intention to tune it up simultaneously? Whereas before I didn’t believe I was really going to meet my goal, thus that disgust, if I then give myself permission to be OK with where I am now, then I feel more confident that I’ll be there for myself in guiding the progress towards where I want. Self-trust then allows for me to occupy this seeming paradox. Aha!

Living in Paradox on Shalavee.com

I truly do believe that to move on from anywhere, you need to accept that you are there where you are then. So it would stand to reason that in any circumstances, you can accept /acknowledge/understand being there (not always be angry or disapproving) and this will give you the power and space to make a shift from there onward. So for me, that would sound like, “My body is OK the way it is. I am no less beautiful for the couple extra pounds I adopted at Christmas. I am not broken so I don’t have to fix it, I just want to tune/tone it up when that opportunity becomes available.”

Living in Paradox on Shalavee.com

 

Life is absolutely made of way more paradoxes than we care to acknowledge. Is it a paradox to like your body well enough the way it is and want to change it? Is it a paradox to love your husband and have crush on Brad Pitt? If what we have is good enough for now, then we can look to other possibilities without recrimination or guilt, that feeling of being at a deficit or deficient isn’t helping anyway. I can acknowledge that eventually I’d like a new couch and for now, this one is good enough. And that opening up for possibilities allows for more being OK with my now. We all need to find a way to be OK with our nows.

 

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your email box. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest  too. I am always practicing Intentional In-touchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

 

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The Value of Doing and Seeing Things Differently

There’s a woman I’m social media friends with who has chosen to engage in a year-long project she has named her Year of Doing Things Differently. When I asked her about this concept, she said she’d seen it in a book at the library. I like this concept a lot.

I always say, “If you change nothing, nothing changes”. The phrase “doing things differently” is just another way of saying change but it sounds better somehow, more enticing. The problem is that our habits are so ingrained, they’re familiar and comfortable and we may honestly think there are no other options or ways to go about it. The Value of Doing and seeing things differently on Shalavee.com

The familiar feeling of being frustrated when I don’t achieve a certain outcome is a sure sign my expected results are at odds with my efforts. I may need to consider more options and bulldoze some of my excuses to make a change. Losing weight falls under this category.

But I’ve also discovered that our thoughts about our lives and capabilities and motivations can fall into a numbing and underwhelming pit for which I can not find an escape. In not seeing my value as an artist or citizen, I see limited or no possibilities for offering my talents to the world. Only in seeing the value of myself, do I find places where I can create and give out my gifts. I am building new value glasses right now.The Value of Doing and seeing things differently on Shalavee.com

I am shifting my understanding of who I am, where I stop, what I know, what I believe, and what I’m capable of. That is me changing my thoughts about how I fit into the world and the power I have. Doing things differently will naturally be followed by feeling differently and thinking differently. Because I’m long overdue for some new views of me and my world that I can proudly hand back to my children and my readers.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter orPinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

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We Have to Redecorate Eventually

I stormed into owning my house with aspirations of decorating greatness. Although I did eventually touch every wall and every inch of woodwork with paint in my 2000 square foot house (minus the basement and attic), now some of my renovations are in need re-renovating. As in I’m so over whatever crazy decorating thing I did 15 years ago and I need to change it again.

The front hall has been a thorn in my side for a while. Check out this post from last year’s October month-long post-athon. The dining room , my bedroom, the bathroom all have that lackluster feeling of out of date-ness. And I realize that our lives and our houses aren’t too different in this way. We have plenty of thoughts and assumptions that need renovating too. Ways of living and seeing that no longer fit or serve us. Thoughts we think that substantiate actions we hate.we have to redecorate eventually on shalavee.com

Our first job is to say, “Gee, I don’t feel good when I’m here, in this room, this thought, this mode.” This is a mindfulness mode. It’s just stating what we feel about something we are living in. And the next time and the next time we state this idea, we’ll be headed toward the concept that perhaps we need a little renovation. Now I know we get stuck with the “But I need the reno to be perfect and what will other people think?” But they don’t have to live in it/with it, you do. You live in your house. You live in your life and you abide by your life’s guidelines.

People will think you look a lot happier since you renovated that room. That you are no longer shy to have them over and show off your new room. The same for your new thought process. Because if you renovated your thoughts to be more true to you, to honor those things you believe in and love to be, it will show. Being around you will be like standing in a newly renovated entrance hall.we have to redecorate eventually on shalavee.com

So to that note, I am making plans to renovate my front hall. Again, see this post. It represents me, the first sight of who I think I am and want you to see. It is also bumming me out in its current state. And I’m hoping that the renovation bug will catch on and maybe a few other rooms will catch it.

Meanwhile, I’d love to hear what you, yes you, are thinking needs changing. A thought process that no longer serves you like guilt or shame? A room that makes you feel bad when you enter it and why? Let me know and we can all feel inspired by you.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter orPinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

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How To Change Your Life : Feel As if the Thing Has Happened

Sometimes my progress feels like I’m riding a rusty bicycle. I spend soooo many moments thinking about a change, considering how one makes the change, forgetting, remembering to work on changing it, and then starting the process all over again before I finally get to move the bicycle an inch.

Seems that it can take a long time from the first inkling of a making a change to following through with that change. Months and years can pass and the thought is still haunting you, doubts winning over progress. But on a dime, you can suddenly change your mind, grab a hold of the moment, get out of your way, and make your dream happen. My first marriage, my weight, my writing, and now my intention to put myself out more with doing live videos on Facebook were all affected by long long thought processes to make decisions to make changes in my life and my possibilities. Feel As If the Thing Has Happened on Shalavee.com

Sometimes, or most of the time, change happens slowly. It begins with a thought, a spark of a possibility. And our “what if’s” grow from there. Sometimes you aren’t confident. You need to research yourself, your abilities, your resources, and in what sequence your plan needs to unfurl. You may need to gather others’ opinions and build a team of supporters.

To move yourself from where you are, you have to imagine yourself there where you want to go. I used to watch a show called Starting Over. Women in need of help in a house doing hard soul work all together under the guidance of counselors/coaches Iyana Vanzant and Rhonda Britten.  Iyana Vanzant had a helpful way for her clients to think about the process of moving themselves on into their future. She used the acronym FAITH : Feel As If the Thing Has Happened. If you imagine how it will feel to have done what you are thinking you need to do then you can feel your way to manifesting it.

Feel As If the Thing Has Happened

I knew the marriage I truly wanted was brimming with love and trust. That I needed to have my children with a man who was loving and patient and not self-absorbed. I imagined a little toddler running to me at a waterfront house. And that’s what I ended up with. I imagined what it would be like to write regularly because I needed to, because I had to. And now I have devised a way to stretch my writing muscles regularly. Like it or not, I publish a post every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.Feel As If the Thing Has Happened on Shalavee.com

Sometimes our ideas just need to gestate, lounge about in our consciousnesses. And eventually they become more urgent. Until finally they are more painful to keep unfulfilled than to just go ahead and put them into action. That can take weeks or years. But the best and most fated actions for your life will always resurface. You just have to scoop them out and allow them to breath and grow.

If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit. If you Sign up for my newsletter in the sign up box over there to the right, you’ll receive a first look-see at my Creative Mothers’ Manifesto! Heartfelt impassioned words on the need for expressing creativity for your soul and being a better mother for it.

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Change Is Good

There’s a shift that’s been slowly nudging me for change. Well, it started as slow nudging but has become more urgent. The whisper has become a yell. Because I’m a changer, an innovator! I switched my living room and dining room around last Fall ! I am impressed when other people don’t have a compulsion to redecorate or rearrange their houses. I haven’t done anything big here on the blog or at home decorating in a while.

See, there was a question posed to me that went something like, “Have I reached the point that in doing the same thing again and again, it’s actually holding me back?” And I’d have to say yes. I committed to writing three blog posts weekly. I’ve done a marvelous job at proving I’m reliable to myself, I write well, and can schedule stuff even in mid-chaos. Deer in the backyard on Shalavee.com

But now, there needs to be a more. A further step after you’ve gotten the basic step down. A variation needs to happen because you can feel the tension starting to build between what you are doing and what you could be doing more of. Like talking more and thus inspiring people or having them inspire you with their comments and participation.

I’ve created blog reading goodness here three times a week and delivered into your mailboxes. And now a delivery format change is necessary. My thoughts are to publish two blog posts weekly and then send out a weekly newsletter/blog post with links to those posts from the earlier week that you may have missed. Eventually I’ll be using everyone’s addresses that are on the Newsletter list to send both the posts and newsletters out as they’re being managed separately right now. Making it simpler so that I can put my efforts into creating bigger and better stuff. Like e-books and guest posts.

I urge you to put your email address into the Newsletter sign-up box in the right hand column and as a thank you, you’ll receive a link to a previously unpublished Creative Mothers’ Manifesto. It’s a passionate rant about being a mother and a creative simultaneously. There’s some insidious messages we receive yet I have solution thoughts.

And coming up this Wednesday, an interview with Megan Gray of Megan Gray Arts. She’s a prolific artists and mother and she answered my questions with her own twist and bubbliness. I’d had the pleasure of answering all of her questions on an interview on her blog not too long ago. We play on the same thought playgrounds.At the playground on Shalavee.com

Until the day after tomorrow lovely readers. Have a glorious next couple of days. We’ll be on vacation at the beach this week but I’ll be checking into my social media. Find me. Links below.

If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

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