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The Year of Doing

This year was about doing. Saying I can because I did. And if I did, what else could I do? Because all the talking in the world doesn’t get it done.

You can certainly plan out your steps. In fact that’s a great way to prepare to get it done. Pro-activity is always a plus. But getting it done turns out to be just you taking the time to do the work.

My fear threatened to take me off the right track on these occasions when I went in for the work kill. There was a chorus of cants. I would just let them blow by me like the hot air that they were. Step away and set the time to return. And then I returned.The Year of Doing on Shalavee.com

There’s power in making your intentions into actions. As I pondered all of this here, I noted there’s power even in the tiniest tasks.

“You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face, you are able to say to yourself, I lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along. You must do the thing you think you cannot do.” — Eleanor Roosevelt

This is an amazing realization to know you have the power to change your whole outlook by mastering something and proving you can. I am pleased to have learned it and perhaps a little scared that I will never ever be able to say I can’t again. So I guess I’ll just have to keep seeing that I Can.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter orPinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Choose to Not Choose is Still a Choice

She rather vehemently insisted that there are no choices. Thank you very little, she understands the concept of “everything is a choice”, just not for her. She’s resigned to that comfortable hell of nothing changes because perhaps it is too overwhelming to consider those other choices. To allow for change would be to admit that had always been a choice perhaps? The march of the musts is way more familiar. And maybe familiar trumps joy? At some cellular level, joy is just another hell. It is painfully unfamiliar. Why want something that we’d have to take on faith that it even exists?Choose to Not Choose is Still a Choice on Shalavee.com

This is why dear friend. Because every inner child longs for joy, knows they are entitled by birthright to it, and believes that it is all it’s cracked up to be. And there isn’t any child that is more unworthy of joy than another. No baby ever sinned to deserve a life of self-abandonment and torment.

So the choice is yours to not choose. But when you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice.And if what you’re doing isn’t working, try something else less painful. Your child inside is waiting for you to change your mind.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter orPinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Living With the Constant Assumption That I’m Doing it Wrong

Living with the constant assumption that I am doing it wrong is exhausting. Such an unsettling daily diet of mixed thoughts. After a daily uncertainty of what it was I liked and who I was mingled with the importance of others’ opinions of me and what it takes to be “cool”, my brain would overload and short-circuit. Sometimes before noon.

So with nothing else to lose, I slowly started to renovate my mind.

I tossed out caring about the approval of others and replaced it with “does it make me happy”? This was a cold turkey people pleasing cessation but it worked.Living With the Constant Assumption That I'm Doing it Wrong on Shalavee.com

I chose to truly listen to what others said were my good qualities and began to build knowledge of who I was whom I liked. And I now pay attention to the things that I am passionate about which then show me what purpose I may have, what people I need in my life, and what direction is most likely to make me happy.

I am still shy of thinking I am cool. I would like to adopt my cocky teenage self back into my life. She was at least good at playing the bad-ass. She may have faked it pretty good but sometimes that’s the best next step until the real thing hits us.

You have no assets, talents, abundance, or inherent worth unless you think you do. People can continue to insist you have these things but until you believe you have them, you don’t. Self-worth equates to what you value in you and then you get to have fun sharing these goodies and mingling them with others’ worth and talents, not vice versa.Living With the Constant Assumption That I'm Doing it Wrong on Shalavee.com

Cleaning up your nonsensical outdated modes of thought takes time and effort, Yes. But the value that this effort brings to your life is rather almost immeasurable. I am more solid, less twitchy. I don’t feel compelled to honor others’ opinions over my own, just be open to them.

So far, I’d say my renovation is going pretty well. And all it cost me was being open to replace the stuff that was broken anyway. It’s not “easy” but there’s nothing worth committing to more than yourself (your lousy for others without a solid you) however long it takes to shift to seeing yourself as the person you are and are meant to be. You just need to allow for the possibility of change.

If you enjoyed what you read, please subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your email box. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional In-touchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

The Number One Fear You’re Basing Your Choices On

There’s an epidemic that’s got the world paralyzed. You can’t see it on the surface. People go about their business seemingly happy. They dress for success and practice self-care like they mean it. But underneath many many people are suffering from an affliction of their souls which they hide rather well. They live for the acceptance of others.

 

We’re so afraid of what others might think that we no longer know we are. It just is part of our logical daily equation. We must have this or that because that’s what we do. Drive cars, wear clothing, and join sporting activities others would approve of because that’s what we do. We fear others’ disapproval. Our fear makes us jump through our daily hoops. And that’s the norm.

 

We are sure we know what others are thinking!  Our choices are based on what we think others will and do think of us. The truth is that we will never really know what others are thinking. Our families maybe sometimes. But the general public? We can not assume to know what they think. Because ironically, they may be too worried what we are thinking about them to care to think about us. We all believe ourselves to be mind-readers. As if that’s normal.

The Number One Fear You're Basing Your Choices On on Shalavee.com

What if we made decisions instead on what we liked and what we wanted? What if we assumed we were well-liked, or perhaps didn’t care what people thought, and went from there. If we decorated our houses, our bodies, and thoughts with the stuff we really like ourselves. How inspiring we would be to all the other people in the world if we showed them what individuality means.

 

The only way to know what I think of you is to ask me. And even then I may not want you to dislike me so I may lie.

As I always say, let them think what they want, I just never need to know.

 

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your email box. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional In-touchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Living in Paradox

It occurred to me recently that life necessitates living in a paradox more than we seem to be comfortable with. Our need to categorize and be perfectly right has us believing there’s a right way or there’s the highway. But I’ve bumped into several situations that would seem we need to lighten up and accept we can live on both sides.

 

I read somewhere, “You’re allowed to be Ok where you are and want something different too” and I froze. What? How is that possible? My disgust with my body would necessitate changing it, right? But now I am being given permission to be Ok with my body and also create an intention to tune it up simultaneously? Whereas before I didn’t believe I was really going to meet my goal, thus that disgust, if I then give myself permission to be OK with where I am now, then I feel more confident that I’ll be there for myself in guiding the progress towards where I want. Self-trust then allows for me to occupy this seeming paradox. Aha!

Living in Paradox on Shalavee.com

I truly do believe that to move on from anywhere, you need to accept that you are there where you are then. So it would stand to reason that in any circumstances, you can accept /acknowledge/understand being there (not always be angry or disapproving) and this will give you the power and space to make a shift from there onward. So for me, that would sound like, “My body is OK the way it is. I am no less beautiful for the couple extra pounds I adopted at Christmas. I am not broken so I don’t have to fix it, I just want to tune/tone it up when that opportunity becomes available.”

Living in Paradox on Shalavee.com

 

Life is absolutely made of way more paradoxes than we care to acknowledge. Is it a paradox to like your body well enough the way it is and want to change it? Is it a paradox to love your husband and have crush on Brad Pitt? If what we have is good enough for now, then we can look to other possibilities without recrimination or guilt, that feeling of being at a deficit or deficient isn’t helping anyway. I can acknowledge that eventually I’d like a new couch and for now, this one is good enough. And that opening up for possibilities allows for more being OK with my now. We all need to find a way to be OK with our nows.

 

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your email box. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest  too. I am always practicing Intentional In-touchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

 

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