search
top

Our Ability to Change is Not about Willpower

(This is a repost from a year and a half ago. I forget myself, my writing, and my truth until I read my pieces and say “Heck Ya!”. Enjoy.)

If it were a matter of willpower, we’d all be willing ourselves into success and abundance and skinniness. Yes your ability to change starts with your intent and your why but after that there’s a trick to do what you want. Your belief in your worthiness and your self-trust are what’s standing between you and what you want. And your fear is what’s in charge until they are.

I detest the formulas out there to my success which depend on me “just doing it”. I see and read so much about your ability to change your life and your plethora of choices and I want to scream, “Your missing the part where I believe I can and I’m worth it”. My low self-esteem might have been called out but it is by no means been completely reversed.

Our Ability to Change is Not About Willpower on Shalavee.com

If I don’t trust myself as reliable, honorable, and capable of following these steps to success and achievement, I am not starting. I already know I’ll fail myself. Why would I want to put myself through that over and over. It’s easier to assume I can’t than to bear the pain of starting and then discovering (surprise!) that I can’t follow through.

At the beginning, we are either worth the effort or we’re not. We claim we know that of course we are worth it but many people feel unworthy of so much secretly. The world has shown them they aren’t worthy. Their parents just weren’t there or asked them to be someone other than who they knew they were. The opportunities they saw other people getting were not offered to them. And layer upon layer upon layer of unworthiness build up. Until giving up is way less painful than trying.

Our Ability to Change is Not About Willpower on Shalavee.com

I have held a campaign for self-trust for myself for some time. As in over five years consciously. It is a steep hill to climb and yet, I am finally at the point where I am feeling the scales tipping. Witness my feeling of I can vs I can’t in this recent piece.

Life is a “Do It Yourself Project” of the largest degree. And every facet of your life and perception is malleable, changeable. Every thought we have is subject to our own scrutiny of validity. And in this introspective process, a noble self-respecting way of thinking arises. And through that, the understanding that our relationship with ourselves, our self-care, and our honor are all of our own doing.

Somehow, we need to grab ahold of the concept that we are all undeniably worth our own mercy and we then begin again. The nobility of beginning again is fathomless. And the wonder of our own faulted humanity is held by everyone, especially the person who’s holding your hand when you decide you are worth the effort.

If you enjoyed what you read, please subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your email box. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional In-touchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Listening to My Inner Truth

Our family just went to see Toy Story 4 recently in which Buzz Lightyear learns from Woody that listening to his inner voice will help him make the best life choices. And so throughout the rest of the movie, he’d yank on his pull string and interpret his “inner voice” to guide him. It was brilliant.

Call it inner voice or intuition, people tend to get their Intuition mixed up with their Should Managers. I’ve done this repeatedly and it always gets me in trouble. Instead of listening to what will nourish my heart and soul, I make a choice that either puts me out in the wide open, too vulnerable and uncertain about what to do next. Or I stay in hiding and think I can’t start at all until it’s “safe” and I know everything. Leading with the head instead of the heart gets you in trouble.

What I do know is that if I pull it all back and ask myself what my truthful purpose in life is, I get an answer that seems so me, I relax. I asked today and I heard, “To facilitate community, communication, self-awareness, and support creativity for myself and others in a way that makes a difference.” Truth.Listening to Your Inner Truth on Shalavee.com

The trick is to make sure that every choice I make feels like I’m promoting that. Ask every time I choose to push forward, is this supporting my growth of myself, my community, and my opportunities to live creatively? If the answer is maybe, I need to stop and consider all the marvelous possibilities that I may be squelching by either not going through with it or pushing through.

I have been holding myself back for a long long time. I have listened to myself countless times asking to expand. And I have shut that down so many times saying it’s better if I just keep safe and keep treading water. Even my Intuition is onto this now. The best time to start over is always right now. As the seasons change, I feel a internal change coming too and a need for a new story to emerge. Do you feel this way too in Spring and Fall ?

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

How We Learn to Be More Self Aware

I often say, “The reason that teachers know their subject so well is because they’ve taken classes in the same subject and reviewed the material over and over until it’s drilled into their heads. By the end of their educational careers, soon to be teachers will have had four or five years of concentrated studying of their specific subject. Can we learn to be self-aware in the same way?

I began to think about what this meant when applied to the work of self-actualization and self-development. I have been studying concepts on raising self-esteem and being mindful and creating self-trust for a long long time. I think you have to be exposed to something for a long long time, over and over, especially something that is so personal to your perceived survival, until it starts to make the truest sense to you.

How We Learn to Be More Self Aware on shalavee.com

This can take the form of classes or books, but I realized that it has been real people that have influenced my awareness shift mostly. People who I may have never met but whose words clonk me over the head with their truth. Many of these amazing people I’ve found on Instagram. Like Anna Lovind. Or at the library. And my therapist who is a third party neutral, giving it to me straight without a stake in my game so I know it to be true. And as you begin to steer your thoughts toward the place that you know is better for you, safer and less anxious, you surprise yourself with the ideas and better conclusions you come up with.

The self-awareness that you’re having these happy positive thoughts about yourself is what raises your conscious level and your esteem by understanding and acknowledging your choice to change. And change feeds back to your thoughts about yourself in a happy feedback loop. Change first only asks that you be aware it’s possible.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Permission to Be A Changed You

I was reminded of, or perhaps gifted, a thought today by a wise online connection, Anna Lovind. She said, “I am the person who is allowed to change. I don’t owe anyone consistency. I don’t need to be faithful to what I used to be (unless I want to).”

We owe no one, not even ourselves any explanations of who we are and what we are choosing and how we are acting and how we are changing. Change is hard enough as it is without throwing it on the mercy of the acceptance of others. Being human means we can decide to be someone different everyday we wake.

I just thought you may be able to use this permission this week. Some of us have tough inner critics. Some of us have tough outer critics as well.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Our Inspiration Makes Us as It Renovates Us

Much that I have seen and read has disappeared from my memory. And still other books have affected me in glorious ways, although I can’t quote passages from these books. Sometimes what we are reading and listening to may not seem to be life-changing , but slight shifts within us can shade the way we progress from thereon.

Last year I read Elizabeth Gilbert’s Big Magic and Brene Brown’s Daring Greatly. But had an immense impact on what I thought about my creativity and my need to risk the outcome of this creativism. But it wasn’t until I started to practice what I had read that it truly came full circle.Our Inspiration Makes Us as It Renovates Us on Shalavee.com

Sometimes thoughts need to percolate. This can be at odds with a culture that has an all or nothing, now or never mentality. But we continue to forget that life isn’t a result but a process. And the self-development process takes as long a it takes. Especially when we start at a deficit of knowledge or confidence to begin with.

Every ‘next’ level of your life will demand

a different version of you.”

–Shaleah Dawnyel–

And I am also in awe at the concept that the more valuable ideas( like the one Brene Brown introduced on vulnerability) are circulated and percolate in our collective minds, the more we all start to shift toward a greater understanding of our collective wellness.Our Inspiration Makes Us as It Renovates Us on Shalavee.com

I owe so much of my thoughts that led to so many of my shifts to the big and small thoughts put out by writers, bloggers, and acquaintances online through posts and newsletters. Small bits and ahas filter through our resistances. And we grow each time we make the creative connections between these thoughts. As one of these acquaintances, Shaleah Dawnyel, put it, “Every ‘next’ level of your life will demand a different version of you.” We are never the same person at the end of the day that we started as. And that’s as it should be. We individually are works of art in progress.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter orPinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Every ‘next’ level of your life will demand

a different version of you.”

« Previous Entries

top