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My Sixth Year Blogaversary

Well, this blogaversary snuck up on me. Kind of like old age and thinning hair, suddenly you may not be rocking them but you own them, like it or not. I have had a blog, been blogging, been a blogger for six years this August. Not as long as some and not as successful as other blogs younger than me. That’s just how it is in the blogosphere, you can see who you’re comparing yourself to and then you have to tell yourself another story.

I can say that at this blog has grown me in ways that I didn’t expect in the least. I became a better writer for the continued regular practice. I became a social media user. Say what? I gained confidence in skills I previously did not have nor ever intended to use. I became a better bigger badder me. And that is always an endeavor worth taking on, even if I didn’t know that’s where I was headed to begin with. It’s been an adventure, a Toad’s wild ride. Read my peppier 5th blogaversary post here (and there are connections to the other anniversary posts there too).

My self-esteem, while having been raised quite extraordinarily by all of the aforementioned benefits of blogging, is still teetering on the questions of value and purpose. It’s fear and humanity all stuck in my throat like a hairball. And I’m hacking up a lung behind the scenes trying to clear this block from my psyche so I can continue to blog with a new and better and bigger purpose.My Six Year Blogaversary on Shalavee.com

Because as much as this has served me well to be a better writer and reach out and find pockets of community and esteem, I believe the next way it will serve me will need more focus and more effort and more transparency. And way more work. I will have to take a stand for me and for people like me who need a hand helping themselves out of similar holes. I will have to believe I matter. And that kind of heroism doesn’t come easy.

So thanks to each and every loving one of you for your continued support of my writing and bumbling blogging efforts. I am forever in your debt. You are my crew, my community, and my heart.

Love,

Shalagh

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your email box. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest  too. I am always practicing Intentional In-touchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Successful Avoidance of Success

I am fast approaching a milestone here on ye’ olde blog. One thousand posts. Yet I have also kept my foot firmly planted against the door keeping the crack from opening anymore. I have controlled and avoided my success so perfectly that I’m feeling the yawning pains of stagnation here.

How do you avoid success you ask?

  • Well you never self-promote. You work just as hard but never ask people for anything. Not their eyes to read or their support. You keep everything on the down low QT.
  • You don’t go outside of your bubble and send your work or thoughts to other people.
  • You avoid growth and creating anything that could cause more work for yourself soon.

Successful avoidance of success is based solely on the concept that if I did become more successful than that would mean that I may have to pay a high price in effort. I know that presently I can get everything I need done, I can write, and keep up the care of my children. If I started creating more work for myself, then I would be creating my demands when I already feel I have too much.Successful Avoidance of Success on Shalavee.com

Of course, success is probably like having your first baby. You think it’ll be tough and it is but you love it. And everything you need just magically appears when you need it.  I know all about stalling the children thing and how it is what it is until it isn’t anymore and you won’t die. Well so far it hasn’t killed me.

And lastly, I think I don’t have a good healthy relationship with the word success. I think of it as something you strive for that you ignore other people to get. You work too hard and your children suffer and it’s all about yourself and the needs you have to be acknowledged all the time. I think it’s about greed and money made and attention seeking. About status and ego needs being met. And I’ve convinced myself that I don’t need any of that thank you.

Yet there’s a tiny part of me that says that success isn’t the reward. That there are all sorts of perks and ahas that pave the way and that by the time you get there, you have figured all this out. But you must be in process to discover these eurekas. So, I just want to have some fun and see what happens.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your email box. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest  too. I am always practicing Intentional In-touchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

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How I Started To Say I Can Instead of I Can’t

My thinking brain understands that you conceptually can do anything you put your mind to. I had a Guinness Book of World Records as a kid. I know what the people of the world can get up to when they put their minds to stuff. But what I thought the other day shocked me. I said “I can” to myself and, after a moment to consider the validity of this statement, I found out that I could.

 

Less than a year ago, if you asked if I could do such and such, I’d say I don’t know how. I’d tell you I don’t have the knowledge, the resources, or the confidence to make that happen. I can’t, I couldn’t, and I wouldn’t. So it felt like a miracle when this past week, I suddenly heard myself say “I can”.How I started to say I can instead of I can't on Shalavee.com

 

Three years ago, it took a lot of convincing from the then president of the Eastern Shore Writers Association Mr. Jerry, to get me to say yes to teaching the blogging workshop. I really didn’t have the confidence to say “Yes I can”. But I borrowed his confidence in me and I pulled that workshop off and made cinnamon rolls to boot.

 

A slow and steady intentional program to build my self-esteem has been in place for these three years. I got a therapist who supports me, cheers me on, and understands how I think. I have intentionally taken risks, put myself to online picture and creative challenges, and created relationships and connections with people all over the world. And I’ve continued to write myself through it all.

 How I started to say I can instead of I can't on Shalavee.com

” It’s the possibility of having a dream come true that makes life interesting.”

-The Alchemist by Paulo Coehlo –

 

Not only have my anxieties disappeared, but I truly am (mostly) no longer searching for outside acknowledgement and approval. Perhaps because I know I’ll get it from me now. I am (mostly) no longer searching for reasons to doubt, dislike, or invalidate myself. And without all that stuff jumping on my back and dragging me down, I am now feeling like I can.

 

Trust in myself is the number one factor that has allowed me to move from the “I can’t” place to the “I can” place. And that relationship I now have is independent of my perception of other’s opinions of me. It is about what I know I’m capable of and what I may be able to stretch myself to do. I can’t wait to see what I can do next.

 

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your email box. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest  too. I am always practicing Intentional In-touchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Wrap-Up of the Month-Long October Post-athon 2016

And so again, my October month-long marathon post-athon of posting everyday is coming to an abrupt end. As usual, I’m here to tell you again why I did it and what I got out of it. Because that’s how these wrap up things work. See the previous years’ 2015 here, 2014 here, and here is the intro to the first time in 2013.

Like many, I can get to telling myself lies about how I don’t have enough. Time is the biggest resource I can convince myself I’m lacking although it’s really fear of success I’m feeling. So this self-imposed torture/yearly practice of posting every day of October pretty much dispels that lie, short and sweet. I manage to post every loving day, keep my kids and my house fairly tidy, and do other stuff like creativity challenges and have a social life too.Wrap up for the October Post-athon 2016 on Shalavee.com

There’s a Jewish parable, a tale I’ve spoken of before in last years wrap-up, where the man complains about having too much mayhem in his house. So his rabbi tells him to bring in the chickens. Then the goat. Then the cows. And finally, he tells the man to go ahead and move them all out. And then asks him how things are now. He says great. It’s all about creating the perspective. ( See the story here. )

I am amazed that I get away with this every year. That the amount of subjects and creativity keeps coming out of me endlessly seems miraculous. But then creativity flourishes within confines. So I have just about shown myself again how much of a super woman I am and how I can pull off anything I put my mind to.Wrap up for the October Post-athon 2016 on Shalavee.com

So here’s to another month of Sundays gone by and a Happy Halloween to end my month-long gauntlet on. Let it be Spooktacular and Funny Fun Fun!!!

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter orPinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

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I Wish People Would Pay Me To…

There are many many inspirational women out there doing inspirational things together. To feel their energy as the co-create is exciting. I stumble across Andrea Scher’s blog Superhero Journal and her post about what would you love to have someone pay you to do.

She and her compatriot listed these :

I wish people would pay me to hold their hand on airplanes.
I wish people would pay me to find faces in their food.
I wish people would pay me to doll them up and take their picture.
I wish people would pay me to throw things out of their closet.

And these:

I wish people would pay me to come over and let me make them soup.
I wish people would pay me to come to my house and lay quietly on my couch.
I wish people would pay me to play with their hair.
I wish people would pay me to make music compilations for them.

And then she wisely states:

These are bread crumbs. Little points of light. Things that light us up. Things that bring us joy. Things that give us clues about who we are and where we are going. “I wish people would pay me to on Shalavee.com

These were my wishes that I could be paid for :

I wish people would pay me to color code their books on their bookshelves

I wish people would pay me to make breakfast in bed for them and then join them

I wish people would pay me to tickle their cats’ tummies

I wish people would pay me to witness their humanity and hand it back to them

I wish people would pay me to cozify their bedrooms and glorify their sock drawers

I wish people would pay me to write what’s right with the world

I wish people would pay me to tell them what’s wrong with their parenting

I wish people would pay me to watch foreign movies

I wish people would pay me to critique their biscuits and gravy

I wish people would pay me to tell them how fabulous they look in Fall colors

 

Worth it just to internet surf every once in a while. I’m blogging with abandon this month, every day a new post. Search every day of October, 2016 on the calendar in the side bar and you’ll find every day filled. Rounding up my Soul Selfie challenge soon. And another creative bootcamp has come to an end. But there’s always more creative trouble to get into.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter orPinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

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