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What Are We Not Talking About ? Let’s Talk

(A little late coming to you today as I was sick this weekend and still am)

If you read me regularly, you’ll know there’s not much I’m not talking about. Not necessarily current events but I will discuss what they really mean to each of us. I will always tell my truth, I will offer perspective, and I will look for hope. So what am I not talking about that we should be talking about?

How about Women’s issues? It really wasn’t until recently that I realized that women were oppressing themselves.  That was a new topic for me. And perhaps I need to delve more into this subject? I love to talk about creativity and how it helps to diminish anxiety however all the articles I can find are about how anxious people are creative. What Are We Not Talking About ? Let's Talk on Shalavee.com

And my recent discovery of the Impostor Syndrome has my me recognizing that the reasons I can’t ask for money, or maybe you can’t seek better employment, is because of our fears of being singled out and shamed,… our fear that we won’t do it right. Every day that I own my part in my repression, I am freer. And it takes understanding and knowledge to gain the power to walk away.

So what is it that we aren’t talking about? Leave me a comment if you think there’s a particular subject that needs our attention. And let’s think about these ideas together.

If you enjoyed what you read, please subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your email box. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional In-touchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

I Forget Myself

Am trying to find my way back to me. Seems my fear of vulnerability and my Impostor Syndrome regularly derail me from my course settings and I find myself off-roading, distracted by the current tasks and scenery, and I soon forget what it was I was doing. I forget how much I’ve already accomplished. I forget myself.

This realization happened again to me this week. I am certain I have even written this blog post before. I feel like the Tom Hanks short-term memory guy character on Saturday Night Live. He kept turning around and saying to Tony Randall,”Hey, you’re Tony Randall!”. I read a few of my over 1000 blog posts and I say,”Hey, I’m a pretty good writer”. Or I hear from a reader occasionally who says they love what I write and I realize, “Hey, someone’s reading what I write.” And then I have to go grocery shopping and make dinner and I disappear again.I Forget Myself on shalavee.com

I do not have a big goal about where I am going with myself. I aim to stay invisible which will reduce the vulnerability. Except, I am lying to myself if I think I’ve not been riding that road for a very long time. So here I am staring at myself saying,”Now what?”.

I am in charge of my “what” every single day. I get to decide if I am going to aspire for more, stay where I am, or withdraw. That is a choice I have treated irreverently. I have acted like I have no power, like I am a victim to the Christmas and Summer seasons. Like so many things are more important than my work, my voice, and my creative impact. I am not and they aren’t.I Forget Myself on shalavee.com

In the anonymous programs they say that everyday is a good day to start over. It is never to late to step into your own power of choice and tell yourself and others to listen up. I think I see a bullhorn over there. Wait right here while I go pick that up.

If you enjoyed what you read, please subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your email box. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional In-touchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

What Are We Writing For ?

I know a lot of writers. All different sorts of types of writing. I can’t say I’ve read all their stuff because I haven’t but I respect them. All of their hard work and their dedication to what they need to express in their writing is very impressive. Devotion to self-expression is impressive.

And I wonder, what are they writing for?

They know why they are writing and what fuels them. Maybe it’s catharsis. Or to figure something out. To add their unique phrasing and ideas to the world and be authentic within it. Or to hear themselves talk.What Are We Writing For ? on Shalavee.com

Maybe they’re proving to their father that they truly can follow through, they do have talent. Or they don’t feel real to themselves unless they’re writing, that maybe they’re invisible until they see their typing on a page.

Each of us has a story to tell and a reason to tell it. I don’t think it’s important to know anyone else’s Why but my own. I write to find out what I have to say and how I feel about things, my world, and you. And I am addicted to the writing process and the self-discovery.What Are We Writing For ? on Shalavee.com

And I’m writing on behalf those who feel they don’t have a voice. For those who feel invisible and unheard. I write for the girl I used to be and to help you become who you need to be.

I write to exist and I exist to write.

 

If you enjoyed what you read, please subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your email box. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional In-touchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

My Christmas Gift To Me

(From Christmas 2013)    PMS, a full moon, and Christmas aren’t a good combo. Even with a whole lot done, I felt incomplete and irritated at everything this past week. Not feeling the ho ho ho in the holiday tone. Here I had a beautiful baby, everything to be grateful for, and I felt resentful. What?stroller smile

I want to judge it and yet I can’t when it may be telling me something needs an adjustment.

I’ve been feeling more jazzed than ever to move ahead on my blog. Take the next step. I planned to use all the pictures I’d already taken, enjoy an afternoon or two of all out creativity and take more pictures. I’d have blog posts for days.

Then life happened to me. A ton of “do-this-befores“, baby interruptions, and regular chores. When I missed my dental cleaning appointment, I had a fit. I would not be writing all those blog posts I’d intended to. The timeliness of them had passed anyway. I still had no help with the baby. And all the “Making Big Blog Plans for 2014” posts was making me feel crappier.DSC02394 - Copy

By yesterday, 4 days until Christmas, I was saying, “I think I might need some time off.” Time to contemplate 2014, paint my fingernails, read a magazine, create time and brain space. Relax. Be. Breath.

I keep thinking of a scene in the Color Purple where Oprah’s character Sophia drives her mistress’s car to visit her children. She hasn’t seen them in a heartbreakingly long time. It could be the holiday season. Only when they get there, the woman freaks out. Sophia has to drive her away unable to spend time with her loved ones. It’s heart wrenching. And familiar. To be within reaching distance of the one thing that will make you happy and have to leave it.

closet shot

I desperately need creative time. I know I went and had me a baby and that is what it is. There are ways around this attention conflict. Expectation adjustments are up to me. Meeting my needs? Up to me. Letting things go that are standing right in my way? Up to me. Do your best, let go of the rest.

My present to myself will be to list out my responsibilities as if they were expenditures and overview my task budget. I may be spreading myself too thinly. And diluting my potential for greatness I feel capable of. I suspect I may just need my own permission to be great.

(And for a little Christmas Picture Prettiness, check out my final Christmas Decor Extravaganza post from last year.)

If you enjoyed what you read, please subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your email box. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional In-touchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

The Work and Waiting

As a new blogger, I knew I wanted to write and be read. And I wanted it all to happen right now. Happen naturally? Ha! Now, now, now with no waiting. And that tension of not believing I really could do it and wanting it now, served to deflate me instead of inspire me. My submissions were rejected, my site was not glamorous enough, and I just wasn’t narcissistic enough to perpetually fan the flames of fan-ship. Thankfully and eventually, I had enough sense to know this too would pass and I did keep writing because at least I knew practice would make me better. This blog was my living resume. And the constancy made me feel like I was still part of a process bigger than me. The work and the waiting on Shalavee.com

What I learned and continue to learn is that even in the quiet moments of just showing up, work is in fact being done. My regular contributions were proving I was reliable to myself and that I was resilient. I learned what I was truly in the long haul for my betterment. Sometimes this looks like connecting with others and myself and sometimes it looks like silence but it’s all hard work to re-see myself devoid of perfectionism. There’s a stubborn sustained single-mindedness that seems to show up and mirror my worth. It may even be slightly divine.The work and the waiting on Shalavee.com

When my doubt storms have finally quieted down, I have emerged victorious. I waited out my ego’s silliness and found myself still standing on the other side. Beautiful and flawed and human and in more awe of how hard life can be when we make it so. And knowing that sometimes, when we commit to taking our hands off of changing things and just letting them go instead, work will be done.

Our processes are personal to each of us. It takes as long as it takes. And we are so worth the wait.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your email box. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest  too. I am always practicing Intentional In-touchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

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