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Grab the Gratitude as it’s Going By

Today I realized that gratitude grounds me after I fly out of my bounds. Because yesterday was a great day until it wasn’t. I made what felt like a fatal mistake and deleted about 80 posts on my blog out of ignorance, or perhaps it was unconscious self-sabotage. Either way, they were gone and as I tried to right my wrong, I reached out to my community for their support. And they showed up for me.

Gratitude is now what I’m feeling for both the restoration of my posts and the outpouring of love and kindness from my people, many of which I have never met face to face. And my lesson today is about allowing others to support me. That typically I don’t have anything too terrible going on. There’s a general feeling of everything’s OK. But this lack of vulnerability doesn’t allow me to be visible and leaves me disconnected from the community that I’ve created.Grab the Gratitude as it's going by on Shalavee.com

Perhaps all the vulnerability I pour into blog posts about Shame and Paying it Forward (brought tears to my eyes to read these and know they were not lost) seems like I am vulnerable enough. But I suspect that this is then the excuse to not come out in other ways. I am hiding in plain site. I am a hypocrite if I tout community as being the best thing since sliced bread but then hide from it.

After much reading and listening and understanding, I know that each of us needs to be valued in our communities for who we are and what we bring to share there. Our talents and who we like to be need to be appreciated by our people. And if we aren’t sincere about who we are, we can not experience that feeling of being known. We are keeping ourselves from the salvation of acceptance. Of belonging.Grab the Gratitude as it's going by on Shalavee.com

So there’s one lesson I need to take to heart and apply from the blog snaffu of 2018. Will there be more, I have no doubt. And I’ll share them with my community as soon as I realize what they are.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Tweaking My Social Media Settings Makes It a Good Thing

I am a sensitive half introvert and half extrovert. I don’t want to be beaten and battered by too much information via the internet lest it would explode my head. So no news is good for me. It’s taken me a few years to understand how social media works for me. Not to be popular or to be hired but how it works for my well-being. I thought I would share in hopes that it may help give you permission to connect or disconnect in ways you hadn’t considered.

My first few faraway online friends were actually made via a site called Divine Caroline where I began to publish my very verbose ramblings cum essays. And then after the blog’s birth in 2011, I was forced into social media usage because of the blog.  Read my very funny how I endured joining Facebook story here.  Although, I could have just blogged for myself, and often I think that’s exactly what I’m doing, it seemed like I might want to invite others to read what I had written ergo the need for social media.

 

I fell in love with Instagram a couple of years in and still detest Twitter except when I’ve used it for a good cause. But the trick to all of it is in being in charge of the media and not having it in your day unless you choose it. In other words, there are no notifications on my phone for any social media apps. None. I have text messages and email notifications and that is all. I changed that in the beginning part of this year. 

Further, I make sure that within Facebook or Instagram, I do not get shown what I don’t want to see. You can quiet people’s posts without unfriending them. You can make special lists in Twitter and Facebook (alas not Instagram) to see only those specifics posts from those specific people. It’s a huge sigh of relief if you’re using Twitter and perhaps Facebook if you tweak the overwhelm to your liking.

Why in the world would anyone want to be on social media at all? Because it turns out there are amazing like-minded people all over the world who show you things about yourself that you would have never otherwise known. In fact I attribute Instagram and all of my connections and challenges there with decreasing my anxiety and helping increase my self-esteem. It’s all in the way that you use it. I use it for connection and affirmation and not to pretend to be someone I’m not.

 

 

 
 
 
 
 
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I’ve been hungry to get back to yummy self time. The starvation has ceased as I am now stepping back into my space (physically and mentally). I #Nourish my self-trust as I show up for me. Revering me-time , quiet space to listen to and explore my thoughts, curiosities, questions, and whims. . Setting intentions for writing and art, creating ways to keep myself to these tasks. . I want compassion and kindness to guide my soul goals and fear can watch and concede defeat. . On the blog today, a pretty comprehensive list of ways in which you can create self-trust! Link in my profile to Shalavee.com and the piece entitled Seven Methods to Help Develop Self-Trust. . #breatheseptember2018 #createeveryday #mywisdomlessons #Soul_Selfie #Introvert #selfdevelopment #emotionalmaturity #perspective #liveonpurpose #selfawareness #personalgrowth #mindfulness #personaldevelopment #innerartist #ourcreativeselves #writersofIG #ontheblog

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Social media and any device for that matter, are only as good as your intentions. I want to connect with the world and with myself in a way that I feel comfortable and not overwhelmed. I need to take the anxiety out of my life and put joy into it. These are the ways that I have found I can do just that without doing an all or nothing cold turkey thing. Did I miss anything? Let me know how you handle your communications. Are you put off by the megalomaniacs and narcissists or have you found a way to navigate the trolls? 

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

A Wholehearted Living Piece : My Growth Life Story

I am overjoyed to announce my participation and publication today on Terri Connellan’s blog, Quiet Writing. My piece titled Gathering My Lessons for her wholehearted living series is live now. 

The back-story? I met fellow writer Terri Connellan through Instagram. She has been an inspiration to me in many ways. Last year, I said I’d love to contribute to her Wholehearted Living series and Terri said “Yes please” for the end of March. My February Viva Havana fundraiser led right into this, essentially my writing my growth life story in March. A wicked doubt storm followed yet I still pulled it out before her deadline. Terri’s kind and gentle support felt like faith guiding me to create this piece I’m pretty darn proud of.

My term for Wholehearted Living is Creative Soul Living. And my piece is sumptuous and full of my truths and insights. Visit my piece on Terri Connellan’s blog at http://www.quietwriting.com/gathering-lessons/ . 

Terri and this opportunity were just what I needed now to show me what I am capable of. I am proud and pleased. I Can.

If you enjoyed what you read, please subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your email box. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional In-touchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

 

The Work and Waiting

As a new blogger, I knew I wanted to write and be read. And I wanted it all to happen right now. Happen naturally? Ha! Now, now, now with no waiting. And that tension of not believing I really could do it and wanting it now, served to deflate me instead of inspire me. My submissions were rejected, my site was not glamorous enough, and I just wasn’t narcissistic enough to perpetually fan the flames of fan-ship. Thankfully and eventually, I had enough sense to know this too would pass and I did keep writing because at least I knew practice would make me better. This blog was my living resume. And the constancy made me feel like I was still part of a process bigger than me. The work and the waiting on Shalavee.com

What I learned and continue to learn is that even in the quiet moments of just showing up, work is in fact being done. My regular contributions were proving I was reliable to myself and that I was resilient. I learned what I was truly in the long haul for my betterment. Sometimes this looks like connecting with others and myself and sometimes it looks like silence but it’s all hard work to re-see myself devoid of perfectionism. There’s a stubborn sustained single-mindedness that seems to show up and mirror my worth. It may even be slightly divine.The work and the waiting on Shalavee.com

When my doubt storms have finally quieted down, I have emerged victorious. I waited out my ego’s silliness and found myself still standing on the other side. Beautiful and flawed and human and in more awe of how hard life can be when we make it so. And knowing that sometimes, when we commit to taking our hands off of changing things and just letting them go instead, work will be done.

Our processes are personal to each of us. It takes as long as it takes. And we are so worth the wait.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your email box. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest  too. I am always practicing Intentional In-touchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

My Sixth Year Blogaversary

Well, this blogaversary snuck up on me. Kind of like old age and thinning hair, suddenly you may not be rocking them but you own them, like it or not. I have had a blog, been blogging, been a blogger for six years this August. Not as long as some and not as successful as other blogs younger than me. That’s just how it is in the blogosphere, you can see who you’re comparing yourself to and then you have to tell yourself another story.

I can say that at this blog has grown me in ways that I didn’t expect in the least. I became a better writer for the continued regular practice. I became a social media user. Say what? I gained confidence in skills I previously did not have nor ever intended to use. I became a better bigger badder me. And that is always an endeavor worth taking on, even if I didn’t know that’s where I was headed to begin with. It’s been an adventure, a Toad’s wild ride. Read my peppier 5th blogaversary post here (and there are connections to the other anniversary posts there too).

My self-esteem, while having been raised quite extraordinarily by all of the aforementioned benefits of blogging, is still teetering on the questions of value and purpose. It’s fear and humanity all stuck in my throat like a hairball. And I’m hacking up a lung behind the scenes trying to clear this block from my psyche so I can continue to blog with a new and better and bigger purpose.My Six Year Blogaversary on Shalavee.com

Because as much as this has served me well to be a better writer and reach out and find pockets of community and esteem, I believe the next way it will serve me will need more focus and more effort and more transparency. And way more work. I will have to take a stand for me and for people like me who need a hand helping themselves out of similar holes. I will have to believe I matter. And that kind of heroism doesn’t come easy.

So thanks to each and every loving one of you for your continued support of my writing and bumbling blogging efforts. I am forever in your debt. You are my crew, my community, and my heart.

Love,

Shalagh

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your email box. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest  too. I am always practicing Intentional In-touchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

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