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A Hard Time Requires Our Humanity

This is hard time for some to live. Embracing all the sadness and shame of our fellow men and our sister women, we would drown if we stayed in some places too long. We could dip into despair for the helpless feeling we empathize ourselves into.A Hard Time Requires Our Humanity on Shalavee.com

We can only do what we can do. And can only know what we can do if we try. We can feel proud of us for the efforts we do make with the limitations we have. We aren’t enlightened or rich but we are compassionate and dear. Well meaning counts tons.

When she’s struggling with depression and anxiety, let that person know that you’ve been there too. Listen to her and know that place again. There is no shame in not being in control. And knowing our limitations will set us free. Acknowledging our humanity will allow us to be human.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

How I Survived the Speech

So I signed up to give a talk on the Inverse Relationship Between Creativity and Anxiety at my UU church this month. One of my learned life hacks is that if I need to do something, I just need to give my word to someone and I’ll do it. (I told one person I would sing an acapella song I had written at my wedding and so I did it. )And this public speech I gave was just a means to getting me to pen my theory.

I needed to get myself through it. I knew it wasn’t going to be perfect, ever, but I needed to do it anyway. And so I stopped and wrote these:

Reasons that I Need Not Feel Afraid to do This Speech

  • Once I say it out loud, I’ll have heard myself say it out loud
  • It will give substance, validity to my thoughts and my theory itself
  • I am being visible and vulnerable for all the women who don’t feel they can
  • I am a role model, a leader, and an ambassador to creativity
  • The words I have written are well said, no matter how I rearrange them and edited them

Plus the fact that the following day, I was scheduled for a slightly scary medical procedure involving multiple needles in my backside. So it couldn’t top that for ouchiness.How I Survived the Speech on shalavee.com

So that when I went in to give the speech, I just smiled a lot. And I sped up like we all do when giving a speech. Worse yet, someone asked me to slow down. Yikes. But I still felt whole for having gotten there and delivered my thoughts. I was grateful for the opportunity to advance my theory.

Sometimes the Thing isn’t really the thing. We have to be smart and brave enough to get through the scary moments so that we can celebrate the bigger wins later. Because courage is being afraid and doing it anyway, proving you can, and finding out you won’t die in the process.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Having My Butt Exposed

This was that week. The week when everything came to a head. When all my plans to be vulnerable, my butt exposed both mentally and physically, came to fruition. I sat back for a few days to digest the events, see if the results I had hoped for were achieved. Was all the risk and pain worth it?

Yes.

Having My Butt Exposed on Shalavee.com

I put my original creative thoughts about the connection between intentional creativity and the reduction of anxiety down onto paper and read them aloud. Was my presentation delivered well? Not necessarily. But I released a thought that I believe in out into the world. And for this risk of vulnerability, I am extremely proud. You have to start even if it isn’t pretty.Having My Butt Exposed on Shalavee.com

I also literally had my butt out in a drafty operating room receiving multiple injections to cauterize the nerves in my SI joint and cease the pain that plagues me. There were probably six people in that room. None of them cared that my large fish belly white butt was exposed. They were there for their own knowledge and competency.Having My Butt Exposed on Shalavee.com

But when it was all over, I had the opportunity to have lunch with my husband and be in one of my favorite places in my hometown of Baltimore. Fells Point has changed and yet it still holds this Dickensian charm of an old world industrial city port and I felt satisfied, physically and mentally.Having My Butt Exposed on Shalavee.com

I foresaw my fears and did it all anyway. I looked to the future and knew that, without these risks to be vulnerable, I’d never truly be happy. I’d just be guarding against the pain. And that is not how I want to live. So I risk the pain of vulnerability and surround myself with my people cheering me on. And it feels more real than ever before.Having My Butt Exposed on Shalavee.com

Thank you for your support through all of these trials. My hopes are that you are encouraged to be vulnerable and courageous in your own lives. That I can help to foster your own self-trust and pride. And we can keep being visible together.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter orPinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Instead of Dread

We’ve had an unusually busy August and I have one last day to get through in a week-long run of big scary events. And I have been very conscious of fending off the dread.

This final busy week included the last three band practices for my son’s band for the performance on the weekend, a fair that happens in my front yard, an out-of-town visitor, a public dance performance for Fiona, and preparation for a speech and art piece display for me. All great events yet there’s the wariness and dread of what you have to do likes to knock on the door and check to see if it can come in and stay a while. I tried to not answer the door.Instead of dread on Shalavee.com

I focused instead on the positive outcomes of all the events. I savored the gratitude I felt from having community show up for Eamon’s band and for my speech at church. I thought about what message we were giving to ourselves and to others when we showed up to do these things. That we are good enough and our talents valuable to share. Our vulnerabilities pinned to our sleeves as we performed our creative tasks.

And I focused on being with my family and taking it all one step at a time. Being here for one another. I focused on the examples we were setting. On appreciating our team and the opportunities we are making for ourselves. And all of that kept me not focusing on the dread and anxiety of the performance.Instead of dread on Shalavee.com

Today is the last dreadful day. I have a minor medical procedure that requires me to be put under for a few needles in my backside. But this is me just keeping my nose down and keeping on because all of it takes me to a better place in the end. A place where there’s less dread of pain and more pride. So I am feeling gratitude even in light of having to starve myself before the procedure. And I’m watching how this all unfolds and keeping my eyes open for the next direction to head in. And the celebration I plan to have for these jobs well done!

 

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter orPinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

We Are Scared of Our Own Power to Choose

The most empowering and terrifying thought you can have is that it’s all up to you. You’re the master of your destiny, your own life chef, the navigator, the choice maker. And there’s just no other option. Sorry. Why are we so scared of our own power to choose?

I spoke with some people the other day about the shift in the value and the validity of religion in people’s lives. Many people are wandering away from what they were raised with but when they find a new place, they may not stay long because they do not find the element that tethers them. I think that we detested being told what to do and believe and yet it is ultimately what we are looking for in the absence of the permission to tell ourselves. Religion was a recipe and it’s hard to see ourselves as the re-creators of that.We Are Scared of Our Own Power to Choose on Shalavee.com

Choices, be they religious preference, family size, or the type of car we drive, are what we have the privilege of enjoying here in America. Yet I think that for as much as we would give our lives to have these choices, we are terrified to truly make them. The thought of varying our paths from those we are expected to follow. Or doing something that would cause us to be the center of uncomfortable attention in our community. These freak us out, make us panic, and cause us anxiety to consider.

We understand from a small age that to rock the conformity boat is to risk peril and being outcast. Better to conform. But in doing so, we can never trust ourselves again and are caught in a perpetual loop of anxiety and mistrust of ourselves and our world. The same world that we so revere our freedom in. Ironic.We Are Scared of Our Own Power to Choose on Shalavee.com

Each of us has the freedom to follow our own paths to what we consider freedom and happiness. So what holds us back? What do we choose automatically every day instead of making empowered changes? Being American says we can choose so why do we think that means to keep buying things? What does freedom mean to you? Now go grab a hunk of it. 

If you enjoyed what you read, please subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your email box. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional In-touchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

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