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Understanding Mindfulness as Doing vs. Being

Since my therapist had asked me to make two separate lists to discriminate what I “was” from what I “did”, I searched the internet for related articles on Being vs. Doing. And what I found was a truly enlightening article on Mindful.org by Zindel Segal titled “The Difference Between “Being” and “Doing”. This concept shifted my understanding of what I have already been working on in my mindfulness practices. This blog post is my summary of what I read and understood.

We have two different mind modes; being and doing. Each has its own value in our lives but some of us may get a little overzealous applying doing to too many things and forget all about the “being”. If we value ourselves only for what we do, we are imprisoned in a never-ending cycle of unhappiness. This explains a lot of my life dissatisfaction and how it’s nice to sometimes just have a seat.Understanding Mindfulness as Doing vs. Being on Shalavee.com

Doing Mode

Doing is a mode where we get things done. It is a very good mode when we use it to improve our ways of progressing and innovating. We compare where we are with where we want to be and then adjust according to the mismatch to “reduce discrepancies”. Then we adjust and then evaluate over and over and hopefully our process improves.

There are problematic applications of doing mode, however, when we become slightly obsessive with out lists and compulsion to do, it is called “driven-doing”. When this mode is then applied to “fixing” emotions, we are sucked into a vacuum of never-ending doing. The more we fail to achieve the emotional state we want to be in, the worse we feel. Doing isn’t going to help us here. This kind of “driven doing” conjures up words like “have to”, “Must”, “ought”, “should”, and “need to”. No immediate action can be applied to reduce the discrepancies and so it feels bad. I suspect how we feel about our bodies may fall here and unrequited love too.

In Doing mode, we evaluate good feelings and bad feelings and give them too much power over us instead of us over them. It seems to cement them into our lives and we forget we choose to feel them not they us.Understanding Mindfulness as Doing vs. Being on Shalavee.com

Being Mode

Where “Doing mode” is goal oriented and one-dimensional, alternatively, “being mode” is about experiencing where you are detached from goals. Doing mode has us thinking about the past, present, and future where being mode has us only experiencing the now. The being mode is direct, immediate, and intimate. It is the present of being in the present.

The being mode allows moods and emotions and circumstances to remain fluid and we are not condemned to a future full of anything. Everything doesn’t have to mean anything but could also mean what you wanted depending on how you view it later. Thoughts and feelings need nothing more than to be passed through and let go of. There’s nothing to “do” with them.

Allowing” is this state of being and there is no need to reduce discrepancies to meet a goal. Approaching any activity in “Being Mode” can reduce the anxiety of the outcome. When I’m doing the dishes, I’m not resenting that I have to do them. I’m simply doing them until they’re done and moving on. This mode allows my day to move much more smoothly and I can concentrate my energies on what I believe to be more important instead of reacting adversely to everything and being exhausted at the end of the day. I believe we only have so much energy in a day to spend and we should spend it wisely.

Am interested to hear how others have experienced this shift as I have within their lives. Wonder if it’s partly getting older and having to slow down to take pictures of and smell the flowers.

Interested in the un-abbreviated version, read it here.

https://www.mindful.org/difference-between-being-and-doing/

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Our Inspiration Makes Us as It Renovates Us

Much that I have seen and read has disappeared from my memory. And still other books have affected me in glorious ways, although I can’t quote passages from these books. Sometimes what we are reading and listening to may not seem to be life-changing , but slight shifts within us can shade the way we progress from thereon.

Last year I read Elizabeth Gilbert’s Big Magic and Brene Brown’s Daring Greatly. But had an immense impact on what I thought about my creativity and my need to risk the outcome of this creativism. But it wasn’t until I started to practice what I had read that it truly came full circle.Our Inspiration Makes Us as It Renovates Us on Shalavee.com

Sometimes thoughts need to percolate. This can be at odds with a culture that has an all or nothing, now or never mentality. But we continue to forget that life isn’t a result but a process. And the self-development process takes as long a it takes. Especially when we start at a deficit of knowledge or confidence to begin with.

Every ‘next’ level of your life will demand

a different version of you.”

–Shaleah Dawnyel–

And I am also in awe at the concept that the more valuable ideas( like the one Brene Brown introduced on vulnerability) are circulated and percolate in our collective minds, the more we all start to shift toward a greater understanding of our collective wellness.Our Inspiration Makes Us as It Renovates Us on Shalavee.com

I owe so much of my thoughts that led to so many of my shifts to the big and small thoughts put out by writers, bloggers, and acquaintances online through posts and newsletters. Small bits and ahas filter through our resistances. And we grow each time we make the creative connections between these thoughts. As one of these acquaintances, Shaleah Dawnyel, put it, “Every ‘next’ level of your life will demand a different version of you.” We are never the same person at the end of the day that we started as. And that’s as it should be. We individually are works of art in progress.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter orPinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Every ‘next’ level of your life will demand

a different version of you.”

The Subtleties of Shifts

(Originally published in December of last year, this post still makes more sense than not. Shift is perpetual and always in need of being actually seen.)

Life’s best asset and worst downfall is that it takes its sweet time. That it is relentless in its expansive pardoning of our mistakes. Every day is a new day to start over seems like too much wiggle room for screw ups. But it also means that the daily monotony can lead to imperceptible shifts. Stuff that would pass you by unless you were wise enough to go looking for it. Or someone else pointed it out to you.

Developing your mindfulness is a way of gaining another eye on your life and yourself. Being able to hold on for a beat more and instead of launching into reaction, to take a look at yourself and what you are about to do and perhaps choose something else. This is shift.

And then there’s just the blindness we end up with when we’ve got our eye so hard on a prize that we truly want but don’t believe we will ever have. And we totally disregard all the progress that we have made because winning means a goal met and not the stuff in between. All or nothing thinking plagues me still.The Subtleties of Shifts on Shalavee.com

Of recent, my computer had a behavior problem after its operating system got updated. And for a week now, I just assumed it ate my sticky notes, the little pretend post it notes on my desktop that hold some of the profound thoughts and understandings I have come across of recent. And now that they’ve been suddenly returned to my computer, I clearly see a shift that happened for me in the past six months.

And that shift was about valuing myself.

Here’s most of the quotes on my sticky notes.

I love and accept myself

I respect and honor myself

I can achieve anything I desire

I believe in myself

I deserve to be loved and respected by those around me

 

Even knowing that

you have the power

to change things

changes things. -Me-

The Subtleties of Shifts on Shalavee.com

 

Your task is not to seek for love,

but merely to seek and find

all the barriers within yourself

that you have built against it.

~ Rumi

You will be your own destiny and your own reason why.” -Me-

 

There are days I drop words of comfort on myself like falling leaves and remember that it is enough to be taken care of by myself.” ~ Brian Andreas

Fear is the cheapest room in the house. I would like to see you living in better conditions.” — Hafez–

I am struck by this shift in the value of myself. Was this what I was working on for all this time? Yes. Did I recognize how much I had begun to truly own that shift? No. The daily doing and expectations that we all subject ourselves to can truly bury the important stuff. If we aren’t giving ourselves the credit for the work we’re doing, it’ll feel like we’re standing still. If we keep raising the bar, we never see how much we’ve risen to meet it.

The Subtleties of Shifts on Shalavee.com

We are all moving, maybe at a slug’s pace, but moving all the same if we are doing the work we need to do to make this happen. The change in perceptions and the feelings we experience will take as long as they take to deliver us there. But in the end, we will arrive and, if our eyes are open, we’ll see we have endured the most amazing slow ride to get there.

Want to read more about Shifts?

Craving the Shift

The Shift : My Decision to Not Be Sucky

Awaiting the Shift from If to When

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your email box. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest  too. I am always practicing Intentional In-touchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Drew’s Story of the Spinach Salad

Often we live and experience our lives through an expectation or understanding we developed as children and we’re sure that it is and will always be this way. How do we know our truths are absolute? A truth to us can be completely distorted until we come face to face with it.

Our friend Drew has a story he tells about being in a café in Ireland. And he looks on the menu and decides to order the Spinach salad. Apparently there were other elements that were being offered with the spinach that seemed appealing . His experience up to this point with spinach was that it is a great big green glob that comes in a can. But he figured he’d just eat around it when it came.Drew's Story of the Spinach Salad on Shalavee.com

The salad comes out and he’s eating it and thinking how good it is and he’s wondering where the green glob is. He’s also relieved that the green glob isn’t there. And then it occurs to him that this yummy green leafy stuff that he’s been eating is spinach in its raw form. And he’s bowled over by how his perceptions and expectations can be so walled off from reality.

If I  attempt to try to do this or invest my expectations, I may surprised how what I think will happen may be far from the truth. How will I ever know what it is like having high self-esteem if I avoid the very risks that will allow for me to develop it. I live an assumption that my diet will always consist of lumpy green stuff and never take a chance to discover the genuine nourishment of the good stuff. 

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter orPinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Create the Life You Want to See and Be

There is a place where each of us thrives and feels rooted. A place where we belong to ourselves when we are there. A crossroads that when we stand there, we are rooted by our own self-trust and no negative words could blow our buzz. That place is our home and I am searching for mine. I want to create the life that I’m meant for. I may even be standing directly over top of it and I feel many of you are too.Create the Life You Want to See and Be on shalavee.com

I am near that place when I am writing from my heart. And I’m even closer when I am in a creative community engaged in creativity and supporting one another. Each of us has felt the tickle and the tug of this special place for ourselves. And yet, as we trust our logic and fear and not our intuition, we think “this surely must be a mirage. It can not be as simple as just being ourselves.” Tricky, that fear is.

I may have wasted many many years making all of this way more complicated than it had to be. Tripping over my shoulds and ignoring my coulds, I have stayed put in a quiet spot watching and dreading how complicated it seemed it would be if I were to pursue simply being me. Create the Life You Want to See and Be on shalavee.com

But the moments of pure bliss I’ve had creating and communing and supporting fellow creatives made it seem so simple. The whisper…I only need to trust the process. Trust = Taking Root Under the Self Tree. Agreeing and Intuiting my next step and being present to witness the changes and the letting go. No one can be me better than me. So letting me be me may allow for me to see the future as a hopeful happy place? Perhaps. 

 

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

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