search
top

Opinions, Entitlement, and the Value of Your Voice

Opinions are like noses, we all have them. But are we entitled and allowed to have them? If I find it hard to find a voice to express them, I may not feel I’m allowed to have an opinion in the first place.

As a woman, it can prove tough not to judge myself for what I have to say as necessary or valid as I’m considering actually saying it. Then I may choose to keep quiet. I have my own internal bouncer at the thought door checking the validity, wittiness, or profundity of my outgoing thoughts and opinions. And often, they’re just not making the cut as I am weighing them against unseen sources that must be way more clever and insightful than me.Opinions, Entitlement, and the Value of Your Voice on Shalavee.com

I’d like to stop doing that. I’ve spoken about how men don’t do that. But I have no experience valuing my voice. In my life, I removed the need for the approval I would get doing for others. Now I find myself dumbly staring at my life thinking, “What do I do this or that for then?”. Oh right. It’s for myself, my happiness, and my approval. Duh.Reprogramming the people pleasing is tough going.Opinions, Entitlement, and the Value of Your Voice on Shalavee.com

Perhaps it’s slightly a matter of faking this until I begin to reap the benefits. Saying and doing what I know is right anyway even if it won’t be met with a round of applause or approval. But maybe because I need to Hear myself saying it. Hear myself having an opinion, saying what I think, and ideally modelling what it is like to not be a doormat for my daughter. Because I want her to be entitled to her opinion and she will do what I do, not what I say. Mindfulness is the only way on and out my friends.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter orPinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Save

Save

Know Ledge

It occurred to me that what I know is what I know. It is the sum of what I feel to be truthful. Worrying about what I don’t know takes me to a place of uncertainty and anxiety where I’m assuming what I don’t know can be used against me somehow. Perhaps that fear, the insatiable need to know to give me an upper hand is what feeds the news industry’s flame. I believe what I need to know will find me.Know Ledge from Shalavee.com

But if I assume and trust that what I Know is enough for me and my life, then I end up on that Ledge. This would be the place above the din where I have the perspective from which to sit and survey my life. The place where I can make thoughtful decisions based on my values and the outcome will always be right no matter what. Because I made my informed decisions not on what I think you think I should do, but on what I knew to be the truths that best fit me and my family.

Most likely we all are a little more knowledgeable than we’d give ourselves credit for. I believe that you always have all the knowledge and support you need at any given point, it’s that perspective from your personal ledge you may be missing.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter orPinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Save

My Forgotten Soul in My Writings

I read blog post after blog post today. I was in search of ones that could illustrate my points for an upcoming big piece. And were these to be the story of someone I did not know, I may have cried for how beautiful the soul of the writer was. The rawness and gentle words of someone with knowledge that was won from grief and heartbreak. But they were my words so they didn’t have such an impact on me.

Why is it so hard to truly see ourselves as others do? Perhaps an initial giddiness when we are falling in love and then back to the set point we are used to. The pain and the recovery and the soul warming story of overcoming our awful obstacles are lost on us. Been there, done that. Moved on. But I refuse to toss myself aside so easily. Today I want to say I have said so much already in so many beautiful words that I know I am not finished talking. My Forgotten Soul in My Writings on Shalavee

And it is my sincerest hope that I will again fall in love with my story as a child does with theirs and I will know how to tell it to you so that you get the most out of it I can give. Meanwhile, I will keep writing like there’s no end in sight. Because there isn’t.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter orPinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Save

Save

Save

Not a Loser or a Gainer but a Wicked Maintainer

When it comes to my body and my soul work, I can maintain what I’ve got for all eternity. It’s movement that I seem to be having a tough time with. I managed to move my body weight down maybe 6 pounds last year with Weight Watchers. And maintained it until Christmas when I gave myself permission to eat what I wanted assuming I’d gain it back. Which I did. I chose it. And now, a year later, I’m back where I started. Maintaining my weight gain despite good intentions and motivation. Not a loser or a gainer but a wicked maintainer.not a loser or a gainer but a wicked maintainer on Shalavee.com

The same can be said for my progress in my writing. I gained ground when I committed to writing daily and posting three times weekly. Yet when it comes to moving beyond the commitment of writing for my blog and trying to get published, I haven’t been able to allow myself to gain ground. I seem to expect just enough of myself to keep my blog afloat. I blame my need to mother simultaneously but I know that’s malarkey. I’m maintaining my writing practice but not growing it.

In a way I feel good about it all. At least I’m not losing ground I think. That’s a win isn’t it? But in a world where we judge ourselves for the progress we’ve made, I am not proud of treading water. I like writing and love connecting with other people on the subjects I love talking about. But being bold and disciplined is tough. Retreating, snuggling in, and not risking seems like it’s easy. But it’s not feeling easy. not a loser or a gainer but a wicked maintainer on Shalavee.com

So I’m asking myself those questions again about what makes me happy? What is it I value and what would it take to achieve that value? And I am recommitting to that process. Not because I want you to like and approve of me. But because I want to be proud of me. I want to know that I am not caving in to my fear but making small efforts to make myself proud to be me on a daily basis.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter orPinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Save

My False Agreement of My Future

In an effort to uncover the false thoughts that mess me up, I had the fortune to discover the Four Agreements yesterday. Written by Miguel Ruiz, these are ancient practices/ways to live your life that will bring you happiness and love in your life. The four agreements are

1) Be impeccable with your word

2) Don’t take anything personally

3) Don’t make assumptions and

4) always do your best.

As I read the synopsis written by another man here basing his work on this, I was struck by a realization about how our thought processes become automated. My false agreement of my future on Shalavee.com

As we are socialized, rewarded, and punished, we make choices on how to behave based on others’ opinions of us. These thoughts processes become habitual and automatic as we grow if they are not questioned. It’s childhood and it’s tough going but if we’re never given the power to choose to think otherwise, we may then be stuck in these childhood mindsets of lack and misery.

I remember talking to my Grandmother about getting a job. I was terrified and stuck in my life and needed some wisdom. She said, “Get a nice office job and you can wear a nice skirt.” I was appalled, but in her life wearing nice skirts had been a bonus to working. I’ve felt all wiggy about going bigger in my career because I have been afraid of a future that I presumed was what was expected of me, not one that I will create out of love and will based on my real talent and capabilities. I assumed that my future would be full of boring big girl stuff that I would hate. That’s what success looks like. Doing things I don’t like to do with people criticizing me for uncompensated pay. My false agreement of my future on Shalavee.com

The truth is that if anyone offers me any opportunities, it will be based on all the hard work that I’ve done because I wanted to do it which came from genuine talent and passion. I can say no to work that doesn’t fit this criteria. I can keep myself safe from the jobs that I would hate doing because someone else thought I should do them. I can rewrite the script of my life. What a relief. And I know the four agreements are something I am already hard at work on in my life to stay true to myself.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter orPinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Save

Save

« Previous Entries

top