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Readjusting My Why

People always focus on the how. How do we get there from here? How can we accomplish that, earn that, thwart that, teach and learn that? But we seem to forget, or we don’t realize, that without a good why, we aren’t going anywhere. We’ll find that our well intentioned train is dead and abandoned on those same tracks.

I taught a blogging workshop almost a year ago. I did it because a nice little old man asked, nay insisted I do it. I am awfully glad he did because otherwise I wouldn’t have. Doing it for the experience or the challenge just wasn’t my kinda why back then. I was too afraid of messing up.Butterfly wreath on Etsy on Shalavee.com

The workshop’s theme? Your Why will tell you your How. Yet as much as I insisted during that workshop that they all needed to find a solid reason why they wanted to create a blog and then begin, most of them were just curious, hoping I would tell them their why.

We all do that. We roll around life hoping to catch a passing Why or we adopt other people’s Whys wanting them to fit. People’s whys for their career paths can sound a little less chosen and more assigned seating.

“Because it’s expected of me.”

“My family always did so I do too.”

“We’ve always done this so it’s easier this way.”

Loyalty as a why. Lack of risk, safety is a why. I think “I should” is great as long as nothing else is calling you to want something different. Because if something else is calling to you, you’ll never shake it. Concede to the call. Own your why.cards for sale soon

I decided this year that Happiness and Fun are two really good Whys. Part of my New Year’s shift was that I was only going to pursue things that tweaked my interest and felt like I could learn and play and grow for doing them. Shoulds aren’t running the show. A huge fun Why needs to be looming above the should.

My Recent Why Shift

I had been putting off creating an Etsy store for several years now. I’d made it a should and there were plenty of why nots.  Some of the Why Nots included

“I don’t care about the money.”

“I can’t get it perfect because I don’t understand the way Etsy works.”

“My stuff isn’t made well enough as my experience is in dabbling not in mass production.” 3D flowers card on Shalavee.com

And then I took the task out of my head and put it into my friend’s hands. I used my friend to hand over my accountability to. As in, “I’m doing this for her because I can’t stand the thought of seeing her again and telling her I still haven’t gone and made my shop yet.” She wouldn’t care but I’d be embarrassed. And then she went and said that I could use her any time I wanted to.

And so I opened that Etsy shop. See it here. I stopped making it about my lack of skill or knowledge or greed and made it an art resume. A show and tell place. I don’t want to care if people buy anything. I’d just assume give it all away. So I found a way to do this anyway and that’s so awesome. I adopted a new Why. Once I took the free will out of it and looked to the future of my Etsy shop as being a place to show my work, it was kinda fun sounding.pastel fish on Shalavee.com

Struggling with resistance or a need to surrender to something? Try telling your truths about the whys. Are you afraid that if you do it then suddenly you’ll find yourself feeling like an impostor? Or that you won’t have enough time to commit to it once you’ve gotten there? Or are you afraid that the ones you love will not understand or won’t be supportive? All have valid fear structure yet if the heart still calls for fulfillment, than you need to acknowledge your fears, state your Why, and do it anyway or you’ll never feel at peace. “I’m sorry that you feel that way but I have to do this for me” is how I broke up with the boyfriend who wouldn’t leave. And a husband I suppose. This phrase could help with talking to the fears or the family.

project planner on Shalavee.com

Whether you need to write yourself a permission slip or perhaps download the homemade task vs. fear project planner document from above, PDF of My Project Planner , let there be a place where your process takes over and guides you to a better place to be besides let down, sad, and pining for an action you are afraid you may never take. Why? Because I like you.

If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Janu-Wary

I was feeling the bliss, the rolling high on the “Ok-ness” from the holiday downtime until yesterday when suddenly I felt myself starting to knock all the happy little hope bubbles off the 2016 shelf where I’d so carefully placed them. Exactly 2 weeks in and suddenly there’s nothing new anymore about the year?!

I’ve read New Year’s posts galore and copious word of the year choices. And there were warnings to be careful about resolutions that would fail you as opposed to themes that could guide you. Or meditation that can ground you. Or just plain awareness of your choices to feel bad as opposed to good. Someone wise said beware when the newness wears off. Glad to have that warning because I think that just happened.Janu-wary on Shalavee.com

Suddenly I felt the old thought patterns knocking at the door. Familiar voices calling out to me about my not enoughness. Why don’t I have a clearly defined purpose and a twelve month plan on exactly how I’m going to carry that out ? Like that woman with the shiny blog and an online creative career? Surely if I could just choose to be impassioned by something, my life would completely change and fall right into place.

So off I go to the gym hoping for inspiration and a change in thoughts. I’m on the treadmill and I recognize the familiar devaluing myself based on others cognitive distortion going on. “Comparison is the thief of joy” I chant and “Don’t compare your insides to someone else’s outsides” came to mind. Comparison to others is unfair. No I may not know my complete “Why” but as long as I stay focused on gratitude and the creative work in front of me, I am so close, in the zone. Janu-wary on Shalavee.com

If that involves month-long collaborative projects, great! If I feel like I need to have weekly themes, great! But I do not have to be or do anything other than what makes me soulfully happy. That’s purpose enough. That’s really all I have time for besides the mothering of a toddler and a ten-year old and the maintenance of this household. Truly I am enough for just this realm of activities.

And then a friend/acquaintance comes over and scares the heck out of me, as my earphones were mighty loud. She wanted me to know that she’d read my blog post, something I’d written. She says I write really well. And I said “Thank you” and meant it. Thank you for the reminder Universe. My shelf of little hopes remains in tact.

If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

The Wind

The only weather element I hate is the wind.

Oh how I hate the wind. And I don’t mean the nice breeze that blow by and tickles you in the Springtime. I mean the howling ripping destructive mean bitter wind that comes around at the worst times, coldest times, rainiest times.

I hate how it knocks stuff over.

I hate how even the sound makes me cold as does thinking about the animals out in that cold wind and me hoping they have shelter enough.

I hate its callous cruel shredding tossing ways as it vandalizes tree limbs and sheers off doors everywhere, laughing as it passes.The Wind on Shalavee.com

I hate the goose bumps I have from a draft that the wind is forcing in through a crack somewhere and teasing my wind hate on the tops of my thighs.

I charge the wind with the crime of reminding me of my lack of insulation.

The lion roars outside and I begin my wait for the lamb.

If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

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