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The Number One Fear You’re Basing Your Choices On

There’s an epidemic that’s got the world paralyzed. You can’t see it on the surface. People go about their business seemingly happy. They dress for success and practice self-care like they mean it. But underneath many many people are suffering from an affliction of their souls which they hide rather well. They live for the acceptance of others.

 

We’re so afraid of what others might think that we no longer know we are. It just is part of our logical daily equation. We must have this or that because that’s what we do. Drive cars, wear clothing, and join sporting activities others would approve of because that’s what we do. We fear others’ disapproval. Our fear makes us jump through our daily hoops. And that’s the norm.

 

We are sure we know what others are thinking!  Our choices are based on what we think others will and do think of us. The truth is that we will never really know what others are thinking. Our families maybe sometimes. But the general public? We can not assume to know what they think. Because ironically, they may be too worried what we are thinking about them to care to think about us. We all believe ourselves to be mind-readers. As if that’s normal.

The Number One Fear You're Basing Your Choices On on Shalavee.com

What if we made decisions instead on what we liked and what we wanted? What if we assumed we were well-liked, or perhaps didn’t care what people thought, and went from there. If we decorated our houses, our bodies, and thoughts with the stuff we really like ourselves. How inspiring we would be to all the other people in the world if we showed them what individuality means.

 

The only way to know what I think of you is to ask me. And even then I may not want you to dislike me so I may lie.

As I always say, let them think what they want, I just never need to know.

 

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your email box. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional In-touchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

My Remodeled Pink Dining Room

It was recently brought to my attention that I had never posted the “redecorate the dining room” post. This was a May ’17 project I set myself to completing before hosting a dinner party, taking our green dining room and transforming it into a pink dining room. And I was truly pleased with myself and the results. This room reno cost a little over $200 including awesome rug, paint, and curtains. And is a monument to decorating minimalism and intuition.My remodeled pink dining room on Shalavee.com

 

At least five years ago, I decided to paint my dining room Chartreuse green. I thought that Spring green shade would be happy. It was but for some unknown reason I chose to do it in a glossy finish which only made the bumpy walls more visible. This renovation was well overdue. I had visions of pink in my head. It was so design forward it frightened me.

My remodeled pink dining room on Shalavee.com

But I dreaded taking off that grass cloth I’d glued to the dado (beneath the chair rail) some 15 years ago, I’d left it. And eventually, it had become the scratching post for certain naughty kitties. As with so many tasks we dread, it turned out to be easy. It took me one hour to remove and scrub off the remaining glue from the walls. I was again astonished at how we dread and put off things for no reason.My remodeled pink dining room on Shalavee.com

 

I decided I didn’t need to repaint the ceiling or the insides of the corner cabinets from their original colors. So, I brought home color swatches until I’d chosen the right color to match.

My remodeled pink dining room on Shalavee.com

I knew that this now all warm-toned room would need a color cool down in the new rug I chose and as soon as I saw this turquoise beauty, I knew it was right. This sucker was a mere $150 bought at Esalerugs.com on a special sale day. Free shipping always. This is the same site I purchased my kilim rug for the hallway. This rug looks fancier than it is. Stuff can get spilled on it (Resolve has been go-to magic in a bottle for 25 years), cats can claw at it, and it still looks good.

My remodeled pink dining room on Shalavee.com

The curtains were another hurdle I finally overcame. I had literally never put curtains up because I didn’t know how to cost effectively handle the bay window rigging. But I’d done some prior research on Pinterest and had pinned some ideas to my secret “redecorate the dining room” board. I revisited those and found the solution.

My remodeled pink dining room on Shalavee.com

My remodeled pink dining room on Shalavee.com

I used metal electrical conduit pipe setting around in the garage. We covered it with gaff tape to make it white. Same tape technique I used on Fiona’s bedroom curtain rods. And I attached them together between the windows with rubber tubing! I was exasperated to have to pay $5 a piece for the 4 brackets to hold all this up. The only ones I could find were black too! And lastly, leveling the whole curtain rig was tough as the windows are visibly wonky. But again, only took me an hour. And them my husband offered up some extra cream-colored wedding organza and just looped maybe 17 foot runs over the rods and I tied them back with jute string. Voila, the windows and the views are framed out.

My remodeled pink dining room on Shalavee.com

The major time I took was for the painting. I blocked off the week to do it and just resigned myself to doing no other chores and to plugging my daughter into the TV for chunks of time. And as usual, the worst part was painting the woodwork. I had chosen to go back to white woodwork while leaving the corner cabinets cream. Lovely concept but that crown molding was tedious going and darned if I wasn’t “almost finished” …”almost finished” …”almost finished” when the kids started to act up.

My remodeled pink dining room on Shalavee.com

The one last decision (besides going from green to pink) that seemed avante garde was the painting of the chair rail. I have always detested the way that chair rail visually chopped up the space. I’ve seen people painting their woodwork out in the same color as the walls. And so, I went for it hoping the chair rail would disappear. It was a success and I encourage everyone to do whatever their whim tells them. It’s only paint after all.

My remodeled pink dining room on Shalavee.com

I should have been more nervous about the rug but somehow, I knew it’d be perfect and I was right. The items I hung on the walls were what I already had and went very well with an evolving color palette of pink, mustard, and aqua. And the two pieces of grass cloth that were perfectly intact when I pulled them from the wall under the windows? Turned them on their sides and mounted these fabulous sconces that I have never been able to hang until now!

My remodeled pink dining room on Shalavee.com

So how did the dinner party go you ask? It was a smash success and I was a confident hostess because I felt like my dining room was finally the exact place that I wanted to entertain in. It was the new me. The color palate is fresh and the windows are frames in that lush wedding organza. Crazy cool.

And PS, Since I’ve taken these pictures, I recovered those dining room chairs too! Had the fabric for over 20 years!

My remodeled pink dining room on Shalavee.com

 

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your email box. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional In-touchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

 

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The Fall Soul Selfie Challenge of 2017 Wrap-Up

For two years, in both the Spring and Fall, I’ve hosted this Soul Selfie Challenge. I thought up the #Soul_Selfie hashtag the Winter of 2015 wanting to name the kinds of posts I was compelled to write. And then I realized I needed to search out other people who felt the same compulsion to discover themselves as I did. I knew I needed company in my self-discovery journey. Already an established and happy Instagram user, the Soul Selfie Challenge was born. A week-long prompt using challenge, it’s an opportunity to dig a little deeper and discover what you truly feel about your life, yourself, and your relationship with the words. Read this round’s intro post here.Change for Souls Selfie Challenge 2017 on Shalavee.com

They say you should go and create the very things that you wish to be a part of. And this outpouring of self-discovery is exactly where I feel most alive. Just have a look at my blog and you’ll get me. But I also truly need community to do this journeying with. I’ve been alone for so long inside my head all the while I’m thinking, “It would be nice to connect with others on these soul-searching subjects.” And that is exactly what I got when I created this challenge, and then some.

You get people mirroring back to you what you’ve said and then they add a bit you never thought of which makes you go “Aha”. You take the risks to be a little more vulnerable and you gain confidence when it doesn’t actually blow up in your face and people say they feel that way too and you’re not alone. Gosh that connected feeling is good because that connection is what humanity is hardwired to do.

 

And then there’s the healing power. I have witnessed some amazing things happen through the power of the honesty of this challenge. People moving themselves onward because this challenge came at the exact time they needed to do just this. To step out of their closets and claim something out loud to facilitate their healing. Wow! If I can facilitate a healing moment of any sort for anyone, I’m there doing that.

Choice for Souls Selfie Challenge 2017 on Shalavee.com

And lastly, as we heal ourselves, we become more able to help heal the world. No doubt that on the day of the Women’s March all around the world, many were awakened to the fact that they felt isolated and it didn’t have to be that way. I had a eureka feeling yesterday where I knew I was safe and powerful within my community of women both online and off. It’s a girl club I never felt I was in before. And I like it very much. It is helping to heal me. My gratitude will be the fuel to pay it forward. And these challenges are but one way I’m doing that.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your email box. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest  too. I am always practicing Intentional In-touchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

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