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On Stupid Appliances and Ditching the Dread

I got an expansive hate comment on my blog long ago. I was accused of living a charmed life full of manicures and antiquing trips. If you saw me on a real day in my life this past week/month, you’d be equally amused as I am at that thought.

While I concede that I am still living a first world life with running water and a roof that doesn’t leak, everyone has some rotten days and bad luck they must live through. Right? Or do they?in my didningroom on Shalavee.com

I got to wondering if there are some people who live in Grace Bubbles. When they have an appliance go up on Christmas Eve, they know just the right person to call to have it taken care of and have a set aside fund for appliance emergencies. Or they are so Zen with their faith that they know the solution will come soon and they’ll hang until it finds them? Because I want to live those people’s lives. This is what happened to me instead.

Our dryer ceased to work around Wednesday. By Friday, I had ordered another heatcoil hoping that, like the last time it broke maybe 5 years ago, we could replace it and be in the drying business again. I do a happy dance when the coil comes the following Wednesday. But after Mark puts it in and there’s still no heat, I concede that it’s a “brain” part that’s died and we’re buying a new dryer. With the bickering kids in the backseat, I head down that evening to the our local Lowes (appliances and DIY store) where I find out that they won’t have the one that we want, the one that matches the washer we just replaced and paid off, for another two weeks. House in Easton on SHalavee.com

Option two was me buying one from a store in the neighboring state by phone which will be tax free but undeliverable (and thus uninstallable by anyone other than my husband) to our address. Mark will now be picking up said dryer and then de-installing both the washer and dryer (the sink blocks a straight in entry) and reinstalling the dryer and washer on Saturday midst the birthday party set up. I told him to get another man with a strong young back to help.

What does my brain do when all of this is happening? Well I panic that I won’t be able to do my job, especially when I was just about to go medieval with Fiona’s potty training and the quantity of pee soaked clothing is exponential when you take a way the pull-ups/diapers. And I can also tell that my inner control freak doesn’t like situations where I am not in control. Period. But what I also hear myself doing is flipping the “It’ll never be good” and the “It’ll always be bad” coin. These are my go-to cognitive distortions .

And then I actually caught myself catastrophizing this morning as I was saying, “I’ve nothing to look forward to soon and have no me-time planned either”. The birthday party planning isn’t apparently ending in a fun birthday party for me. This may or may not be true but I’ll enjoy it all the same. So when Fiona threw her nap for a second day in a row today, I didn’t even dwell on it because this I actually expect. Adjusting my expectations accordingly is a tricky business. I can let go of the frustration of my inability to control her. Easton on Shalavee.com

And that brings me to my last Aha. For this whole month, I have been really working hard in all aspects of my life. I’ve worked daily at getting what I needed done in a way that removes the dread and anticipation away from any given task by placing one foot in front of the other until its done. Because if you combine dread with those cognitive distortions of “it’ll always be this way’ and you’ve got a cocktail for paralysis ready to be swilled down without another thought. But this month was about shedding the fear and doing that which I recognize needs doing. Conceding to my lack of control and doing what I can. And doing it until it’s done without thinking too much. It’s about having a little faith beyond the circumstances in what you and your life will provide you. Knowing that if you do your best you’ll always get better than not.

I pretty much called out every little response and behavior that I knew wasn’t creating good feelings within me and set my sights on recognizing the negative thoughts sooner. I also decided to post seven days in a row of posts on gratitude on Instagram. Because you can’t feel sad or mopey when you are Grateful! I worked super hard this week, gave myself credit for it, and am feeling slightly better for it.

Anything you have to add, please do?

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your email box. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter orPinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Kill Free Will : What Catholics and the Military Know

Miss Sherrie, the woman who leads the Weight Watchers group, said she’d given up sugar for Lent. She’s a Lent observing Christian apparently and giving something up for a month is what she does the month before Easter. And I thought about how this woman who also has given up daily food enjoyment of all other sorts to lose a lot of weight, would give up her only other vice. And it got me to thinking about self-discipline and achievement.

The Restriction (and devotion) of choices and activities to learn and enjoy other things in life is practiced by many religions. It is also one concept that makes the military successful in making soldiers. If you take away free will in certain activities, it frees your mind up to consider and make choices on other matters. If I don’t have to spend time thinking about breakfast, choosing what to wear, or if I know I’m definitely going to the gym today, I can focus on the next task and perhaps enjoy some creativity today. My brain is not bogged down by all the choices.Free Will on Shalavee.com

Choice is great until making all those choices becomes a burden. What if removing these choices freed you up again? I see this practice of self-restraint as having multiple layers of benefits. First, that you will get on to the projects and tasks that you want to get to because you’ve allowed the freedom to not be bogged down with the mundane. If you always have oatmeal for breakfast, you could make a huge batch and then save time for the next couple days to do something else instead of cooking for those 20 minutes.

And if you concede and follow your own authority at creating non-negotiable tasks, then you could insert a number of tasks there that would benefit you in the upcoming future. If taking an online typing course had been a non-negotiable item for me, I’d already know how. You say it, it’s a done deal. That’s some fabulous power of choice to use for the benefit of your life and humanity in general.

And lastly, this same concept is already one that is practiced when disciplining children. Children feel safer when they know you are making the decisions and not them. When they truly understand that they have no choice as to whether they need to go to bed, they can spend that precious brain power creating. Yes, they question authority because that’s their job but our job is to let them know they are safe in a bubble where their choices are limited and then they can feel free. Too many choices are just plain overwhelming for anyone.Free Will on Shalavee.com

If putting some restraints on yourself can free you up in other ways infinitesimally, why wouldn’t you?  If I plan my meals, then I don’t have to think about it anymore. If I schedule out writing and crafting in my calendar, I am much more likely to go and do those things. The day they aren’t scheduled, I end up balancing the checkbook! Yes it needs to be done but I’m such a good “do bee” I’d always throw my creativity under the bus unless it’s scheduled and thus “official”.

We Americans love our many choices but I think we’ve forgotten to value them. If we could tone down our gluttony, perhaps chose to only eat vegetables and fruit that are in season locally, we’d save us some ozone by not wasting all the gas to truck the produce up from South America. Choices aren’t always a good thing. Especially if we squander them.

Lessons come in fits and spurts. This one was brought to you by my attendance to Weight Watchers and Creativity Bootcamp. You and your time and creativity and health are important. So think about how you can help yourself to reign in your wasted time and bring on some excitement and hope into your life with daily devotional activities. Because restrictions can be oddly freeing.

If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

My Month Of Self Love Summary

So I set out with some very specific intentions about how I needed this month to look. I said I wanted it to be about taking care of me. And Boy Howdy, I’d say I did that and then some.

There was the Creativity Bootcamp that I knew I’d be participating in for the month of February. And I had prepared myself so well that when the month hit, I had blog posts aplenty scheduled and I spent luscious wonderful time creating. I was also pretty stress free for the creating and installing the event design for the Anchor’s Away Service Auction.

And I noticed that as my proactive blog scheduling dwindled, I became much less free for creativity. And on top of that, if I didn’t specifically plan what I was going to be creatively working on that day or week, I was waaaayyyy less likely to do anything. If you fail to plan, you plan to fail. I think all of that is invaluable in knowing how I need to pace my life and do my planning in the future.dining room bookshelves on Shalavee.com

Then sometime in the first week of February, a few more exciting opportunities to take care of myself popped up. Cost me about three hundred dollars on my paid off credit card but each thing is Well Worth It.

First, we joined Weight Watchers . There was a special going that if you joined by Valentine’s Day and lost 10 pounds within the first two months, you’d get your money back for those months. I said I’d take that challenge. There is nothing more I’d like than to be fit and happy for my fiftieth birthday coming this September. And being in the process of reaching that goal has brought me such hope.

Then there were two online ecourses that I joined up to take. These I will take when I have the time and am ready. The first will allow me to zero in on what my Manifesto is for my blog and help me to outline the book I will then be able to write on my philosophies and Lessons on Living. I have waited for the right tool to show up for me to grab to do this and I believe this is it. It’s called the Book Manifesto Course created by Sally Wolfe.egg yolks on Shalavee.com

The other course is called the Creative Doer, a course developed by writer and creative coach Anna Lovind for creatives to figure out what their purposeful work is in the world. And for just one day, she offered this as a “pay what you can” opportunity. I was not going to miss out on that.

So the Manifesto course will be my work for March. And the Creative Doer course will be for April. I hope you return to visit and find out how these courses meet up with and surpass my expectations of self-discovery awesomeness.

If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

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