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Placeholder

I often make myself do things I don’t feel like doing or things I am unsure about how to do. I write words to fill up a page knowing that once it’s filled and the idea is held by this placeholder, I can return and replace each and every crappy word I’ve written. Every piece of writing is a placeholder for a golden edited version later.

My children are placeholders of a sort. They mark a place and time in my life. They created a purpose I only had an inkling I needed. And they weighted down my heart in unimaginable ways. Or perhaps my life before them was the placeholder then? Awaiting the larger purpose and character transformation that I have undergone to be a better me after their entrance.children placeholders on Shalavee.com

I have ratty furniture holding the place for nicer furniture to come in the future. I create better systems to work by and better ways of thinking to process my life with knowing that as I grow, they will too.

I have values that I renovate regularly. They hold a place for the value of myself and of humanity. They’ve become more noble and more honest as I’ve gotten older. And when the day comes that I have a cause to fight for, they will have held their ground. Until then, my values are holding a place in my heart for the future of the world I want to live in. And the person I want to be.

placeholders on Shalavee.com

What is it in your life that you feel is holding the place for something else?

If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

It’s All Personal Until It Isn’t

I remember how freaked out I was when I first joined the masses on Facebook. I wrote an hysterical post here about how confused I was by this foreign world and my incomprehension of the user etiquette and technology. It all felt too personal when it wasn’t at all. After some lightening quick friend requests from long ago lovers, I went screaming away only to return for the sake of my baby blog I was starting. When you make it about you, you miss how it really isn’t and how it can be too. Taking you out of the equation may make the most sense.When you realize ...Tolle quote

I’m now faced with another need to push out into the unfamiliar zone of self-promotion. I need you to read and to tell your friends to read but the asking is tougher than tough. I need to be louder and believe like I’ve never believed before. And I am sooo uncomfortable in that zone. So I had a talk with me the other day and this is what I thought out in my journal.

I need to take “me” out of the equation.

I must act as if this is a blog and writer I’ve found that I can’t get enough of and have to tell everyone about. Yell from the rooftops that she is talented and inspires me everyday to do things I fear. We’d certainly say all of this about a best friend but not about ourselves. Women aren’t supposed to be like this where sometimes guys talk themselves up when they ain’t got nothing to show for it. That’s the way it is sometimes.

Love yourself

Over lunch recently, my friend Janet told us that she and her friend decided how life is often a matter of you acting the role of you in certain situations. And in her book Big Magic, Elizabeth Gilbert cites an 18th century writer who would dress up and strut around feeling fancy to encourage his creative muse to visit. To court the courage and flair he did not posses seems a good way of ridding the me-ness of it all. Court that creativity and pretend I’m that other blogger who’s great.

We all could benefit from a little “acting as if” in our lives. I do it with the kids sometimes to lead their moods and behavior in a direction I need them to go. And apparently I need to do the same with my writing career. Call myself Brunhilde and wear a great big hat with feathers in it. Or don an official badge so I can act as if. Fake it until I make it. I created this workshop badge to give myself credit for something I already did. What if I could wear one as a pass to do something scary. Like self-promotion.workshop chef badge from shalavee.com

Every time I go and search my blog for a post I remember I wrote and want to include a link to, I find so many great pieces I wrote as well. I just searched acting and pretend and there were 30 wonderful posts that deserve recognition. So here’s to not forgetting ourselves and our talents and to using them daily. And to finding people who appreciate them. Especially ourselves.

If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Rise Up To Meet Yourself Mama

I find I want to feel sorry for myself sometimes. I feel tired and wrung out from all the waiting on small people. I often hear myself say that if only… I had more time, more money, more childcare, I could …take more time to create, garden more, read more, think. Too many aspirations can be agonizing. And I extend my sympathies with each and every mother who wants to have a pity party for herself now, today, where she’s sitting. It’s agony on so many levels. we all start out knowing magic

I tried separating myself from these small crazy making beings. I tried to steal time before or after my day and then I made excuses for why I couldn’t. But what I think I was mostly doing was using them as an excuse to not try to do what I needed for fear I’d fail at my endeavors. And the thought that I used them to do that to myself makes my stomach churn.

As a Mama, I want to say it’s time to rise up and meet the challenge of what we need doing. With gentle strong powerful patience for ourselves and our children, we need to willfully move ourselves to the very next step above. You are more powerful than you remember. Don’t drop your plan for you by using them. Ride up to meet yourself on shalavee.com

Motherhood would never ask you to not be you. It asks you to be a better you. To be brave and to impress yourself. To make a plan you’d be proud to accomplish. Even if it takes you slow patient years to accomplish. You are the best mother when you use your role to model the self-respect, self-mentoring, and self-betterment processes and be a hero for both them and you. Being human, falling down and getting back up is a very noble process and one we owe ourselves and our children a chance to see us grab and run with.

If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

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