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The Shift : My Decision to Not Be Sucky

I can have unkind thoughts about myself. How my belly is bloated and my clothing isn’t fitting. My hormones are making me irritable, I’m a yelling Mommy, and I feel lazy about planning my meals. But where I used to decide I sucked at the end of my list for any and all of my observations, I now let them and me be. I am not sucky and unworthy based on the sum of my failings.The shift on Shalavee.com

The difference between now and then is that I no longer use how I feel as a decision for who I am. My feelings are not facts. I’ve wizened to the fallacies of my former ways. I actually gave myself permission over the holidays to gain the weight back I’d lost. I said I don’t want that fear of weight gain to keep me from enjoying myself. And so it didn’t. I had the intention to gain that weight. So now it is time to give myself permission to lose it. But is not appropriate for me to be mad about it.The shift on Shalavee.com

My thoughts get to be just thoughts not conclusions. And were I to make a conclusion, it doesn’t have to always land at the place where I am faulty. I’m smarter now. And my faith in myself is strong enough to withstand the little fearful brain storms. I’ve fought long and hard to gain a confidence I’ve never had, until now. I trust I have my back for the first time in my life. Heck if I’m going to have meandering thoughts derail my good vibe train. It’s my brain to ride wherever I choose to ride it. And I’m headed to happier places than those sucky stops I was stranded in.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter orPinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

 

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Fallacies and Truisms

All my life I’ve had good even great excuses to not be able to do what I’ve needed to do. A carefully laid web of can’ts and couldn’ts, fallacies and truisms have been my cocoon against failure and the unknown. My inadvertent avoidance methods were masterful. And then I added the excruciating pain of seeing everyone else successfully doing all those things I couldn’t possibly do because of all those reasons why I couldn’t.

So in my attempt to clear my head from all the nonsensical clutter which I’ve collected all my decades of existence, I’ve been purposefully and aggressively going after my excuses. And I’ve managed to take out a few good ones in recent months. Foremost, we could never go out because I didn’t have a babysitter. And then, POOF, I found one. My computer was filling up and nothing was backed up. Now I have a professional data storage system in place. Fallacies and Truisms on shalavee.com

When I hear “I can’t because”, I know that’s a red flag for fear. Initiate the five question challenge and you’ll get down to the truth that lies under the paralysis. Yes, keep asking and answering why five times and it’s guaranteed to get you a better answer than “I just can’t”. It will certainly reveal the deeper expectations, ideals, and fears that you may have not even admitted you had that were blocking you.

If you say you can’t,

you can’t.

If you say you can,

you will.

How I solved my problems was to move beyond my excuse and make it my purpose to keep asking, keep looking until I found solutions. And the answers came quickly, maybe because I was finally in the mood to be done with my angst. This was how my Christmas was, easy and simplified and then in January I solved these two dilemmas. I’ve been sitting here kinda dumbfounded.

Because I have systematically rid myself of all the hindrances, annoyances, bumps and potholes on my road of life that were self-created and often kept me from even starting the car. And I don’t know how to navigate without a handicap, a broken vehicle, and the dread. Yet here I am.Fallacies and Truisms on shalavee.com

And what the silence is starting to feel like and fill up with is trust that I’ll take care of whatever comes up and an excitement for the fun things I can fill my time with instead of dread. I have two new challenges and connections I’ve come up with to launch soon and I can’t wait to make them happen. Because my happiness is worth the work and there’s no better impetus to live out loud than my and my family’s happiness. And my happiness expounds when I know that others will feel inspired and happy joining in too.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter orPinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

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Living the Freelance Family Life

My freelance family life is a little unconventional. When my husband’s full-time job disappeared less than 10 years ago, he went freelance. And this is still not an understood way of life. The days of trusting the corporation to take care of the family through pensions and retirement are long gone, vanished with the unions and plowed down by corporate trading less than 30 years ago. Yet freelancers are still regarded as oddballs without a 9 – 5 lifestyle.

Freelance means that my husband has multiple sources of income. He accepts jobs and works them. He brings his own tools and makes his own schedule and payment arrives according to the agreed upon contracts with the contractors. We pay for our (unpaid) vacations and we worry about our workers comp . We have to save for our retirement. We pay our taxes plus those that the employer would have paid. When we can’t pay our taxes, even after throwing as many deductibles into the mix as we can, we just plain owe. Living the Freelance Family Life on Shalavee.com

And we pay our own healthcare, or not depending on if we qualify for state assistance. We use a different line on our tax forms when determining what sliding scale fee we need to pay at the Y or to determine our eligibility for State paid healthcare. When I discovered we were eligible for the State insurance, our first reaction was happy. No more $500 healthcare bills ! But my husband had to relinquish his primary care physician who did not take that insurance and we felt the pinch of having privilege stripped.

The upside to being freelance would be that you can create your own schedule. My husband can help me out on days when he would otherwise be working. It also means that he has to be available at the drop of a hat. He truly enjoys the challenges of the different opportunities and the camaraderie of working with other freelancers. It’s a creative way of living and it’s what we know now.Living the Freelance Family Life on Shalavee.com

There’s a sleazy trend for employers to call their employees freelance when they’re truly not responsible for the what, when, and where of the job. By denoting them as self-employed and refusing to give employees full-time hours, the employees must pay their own taxes and healthcare. It’s a loophole that is being obscenely stretched. There are lawsuits beginning, workers are fighting the companies who are taking advantage of their employees’ fears. My husband is currently represented in a civil suit against the government for just this.

The world is based on a capitalistic system. And as long as greed is present in man’s heart, everyone must fight for their own justice and fair treatment in their workplaces. Our family would not say no to the right full-time job were it to come along for my husband. But until then, we just have to keep the faith that the freelance jobs opportunities keep presenting themselves and that the company he started to supplement those opportunities continues to grow. As my husband says, “You’re only as good as your last gig.”

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter orPinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

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