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Invisible or Invincible

As she was swinging belly down superhero style on her swing, I heard Fiona say “I am invincible”. Or was that invisible, I thought. Is her power to disappear? And it occurred to me that you can choose one or the other mode in life but you can’t be undecided. You can choose strength and resilience to withstand the perceived thoughts of others. Or you can choose to avoid their eyes and their judgements, but either way you’ve made a choice. You can’t choose neither. Invisible or Invincible on Shalavee.com

While I have chosen to be in the public eyes with my blog, often honestly sharing information that would be considered too much information in an earlier life, I still can not say that I’ve felt I’m invincible. For a long time, I’ve felt raw and the world’s input sharp and pokey. Unknown people and their judgements are dangerous. I was suspicions about why anyone might want to befriend me. How could you possibly control all of that? I’d just wanted to remain invisible. Until that became painful.

Invisible or Invincible on Shalavee.com

You can’t remain invisible because you need to belong to the world. Simply, you need the validation that people give you. It’s excruciating to not receive this. Instead of hiding, you can just decide that people are still relatively good, well-meaning, and curious about you, and then often done with you. They’d rather focus on their own insecurities and perceived flaws and not yours. And if you saw their egos are just as self-involved as yours is, you’d know that you aren’t all that important in their eyes. But we are all very important in our own lives. All we have at the end of the day is our feelings about our lives. So we might as well go for the invincibility, the resilience to caring and do what we need to make us happy. Not at the cost of others but to feel the freedom we were born to feel within our lives, our bodies, and our minds.

Invisible or Invincible on Shalavee.com

How many people could I help today if I felt a little stronger, even as I wobble? If I had a little less clutter to stumble over in my head as I walked through to greet them and extend my hand. Not for any other reason than to say, “Hey, you aren’t alone”. So here’s to ever-increasing invincibility. To becoming visible, especially to ourselves so that we know what our assets are to offer the world.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter orPinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

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First Week Of Our Creative September

A little while ago, I declared that I would be creating art everyday in September. There is a calm and a zen that takes over when one is mindful and committed to a practice. In making the practice non-negotiable, you begin to build a trust with yourself. Anxieties stand down and make room for you to express and devote to yourself through your challenge. That is some amazing mojo.

-our-creative-september on Shalavee.com

We are what we repeatedly do.

Excellence, then,

is not an act, but a habit.”

Will Durant interpreting Aristotle

To reprogram my brain from “I won’t” or “I can’t” or “I’ll never”…be able to create daily, to I’m creating daily is a simplification, a reduction of a very powerful sort. Forgetting that we are always in charge of how we manage ourselves, our time, our good will and support, any concerted effort and focused process is bound to have us believe something new, powerful, and different about ourselves.-our-creative-september on Shalavee.com

day-4-of-our-creative-september on Shalavee.com

After creating almost daily for a week and a half now, I am beginning to think about the next creative endeavor with anticipation. I’m far from overwhelmed, I’m intrigued. How will I fit it into my day? Will I have to put up with being pestered by my three year old? Yes. What am I in the mood for? What challenge do I want to give myself? What color is my soul in need of seeing today.day-5-of-our-creative-september on Shalavee.com

day-6-of-our-creative-september on Shalavee.com

I realized yesterday that the regular expression of artwork is like allowing for my inner child to go out and play. And not allowing for it regularly is like being mean to my inner child. What kind of parent says no you can’t go out and play every single day . No you have to shop and cook and clean and mop and parent and there’s no time to play. Yuck.

day-7-of-our-creative-september on Shalavee.com

So I am instituting some self-trust here. That I will allow my inner child to play when she needs and I am certain that really important things like balancing the checkbook or doing laundry will all get done as well. I want to know that I can be relied on to allow myself the time if needed and trust that if I say no, there must be a really good reason.

I’ll be arting everyday of September. You can follow along on Instagram or Facebook if you would like to. See links below.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter orPinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

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The Hustle of Perfectionism

The line I just read, I had to reread. “Perfectionism is a hustle.“ I’m half way through Brene Brown’s book Daring Greatly, slam in the middle of the chapter on perfectionism and so many self-concept fallacies are spilling out of the pages like bugs who just breathed the extermination gas writhing on the floor. Perfectionism is a mechanism of shame and continues to perpetuate your “not-enoughness” until you are dead.

If you are not familiar with Brene Brown, I urge you to get familiar with her quickly. Her Ted Talk on Vulnerability got to me, sang truth to me like I’d never heard. And her more recent talk on the Anatomy of Trust for Oprah’s Souls Sessions at UCLA had me learning how to trust myself. She is an educated learned yet down to earth woman talking about her research on shame and vulnerability and I am listening very hard.The hustle of perfectionism on Shalavee.com

Our high goals leave us never good enough for everyone. And sure that they all can see I’m not enough, I feel ashamed and abandoned and that is painful. “I am what I accomplish and how well I accomplish it. Please. Perform. Perfect. Healthy striving is self-focused. How can I improve? Perfectionism is other focused. What will they think? Perfectionism is a hustle.” This is some powerful stuff if we can see it, we can beat it.

I know I can never know what you are thinking. I can change my thinking to compassion and support for my efforts as I’d do for anyone else all the time. I can shift from judgement to support and forgiveness and maybe even excitement. Those are my choices. And I know that I’ll never be shunned or outcast or shamed into oblivion because my people, my tribe whose opinions I value would never ever let that happen. They’ve shown up for me so many times to be grateful for. And now it’s my turn to show up for myself on their behalf.The hustle of perfectionism on Shalavee.com

So take those e-courses, read those books, and start multiple conversations about dreams and truths and humanity with people who get you. This is your life to impress yourself and see what you are capable of. Consider your daily choice and try not to squander you efforts on hoping someone else will approve or like you. They don’t know what their missing to not enjoy your Youness.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter orPinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

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