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Worthiness Casserole

You get what you get and you don’t throw a fit. You can only hope that by the time your “looks” start to fade and your skin starts to droop with the inevitable taxation of age, that you understand that your worthiness for being loved, for valuing yourself, is based on the merits of your character. Because otherwise you’re screwed.

Yes, I’ve begun to be irked by my sagging Grandma jowls and my flappy underarm wings. And yet I am also understanding what value my soul has to this world. To measure my worth by not what I do and what I weigh but by the goodness and altruistic intent of my soul seems a better hand played. Worthiness casserole on Shalavee.com

That the everyday choices you make for your own self-acceptance and growth can be beneficial and of value to the rest of the world seems a novel yet noble concept. As I said to a young woman recently who needed a little guidance, I’m doing what I’m doing but if I can take my leftover knowledge and make casseroles to share than that’s what I’ll do. She said she loves my casseroles.

So today my worth is not based on how clean my floor is or the lack of care my garden is suffering from. Today my worth depends on if I’m doing my work and staying true to myself. Am I listening to what I need and then handing back out what I’ve learned. Am I being loving, truthful, and having integrity. If I can say yes to these, I’m doing it right. And I’m probably having fun too.Worthiness casserole on Shalavee.com

If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit. If you Sign up for my newsletter in the sign up box over there to the right, you’ll receive a first look-see at my Creative Mothers’ Manifesto!  Heartfelt impassioned words on the need for expressing creativity for your soul and being a better mother for it.

I’m Breaking Up With Parts of Me

I tossed a look up at the top shelf of the closet where the skinny butt pants get parked. Those are the ones that don’t quite fit yet; perhaps may never fit again.  And I caught sight of the several pairs of truly nice high heels I own. And it struck me: I’m never going to be the person who teeters about on those heels and hurts herself. And I’ve decided I’m giving her walking papers and some shoes to walk out the door with. I’m breaking up with the parts of me that never were.

Yes, I am letting go of those three-inch Nine West boots I bought for a song and wore once. The delicate Spanish sling backs I had the heel tips replaced on. I’m letting go of who I thought I might become in favor of the person I seem to be actually becoming. Breaking up with parts of myself on Shalavee.com

There has been a lot of progress and change happening on the inside and on the outside in recent years and months. Where I used to keep stuff because I wanted to see if I’d become the person who owned it, I now realize I am already me. And the slowly becoming skinnier me can call the shots on weeding through that wardrobe. Because she likes herself and no longer has to become someone else to be liked by others.

While not returning to myself , stagnating and basking in my fear, I was confused about who I was. About who I might become. Kept wishing someone would just tell me already so I could stop guessing and buying clothing and shoes that weren’t quite right.

Now that I’ve provided myself with the hope of happiness in my own skin, I realize that I know the answer to the question, “Do these pants make me look fat?” although my perception of my butt can change depending on how I feel about myself, there are pants that look good on me and pants that don’t and I think I know which ones those are.Breaking up with parts of myself on Shalavee.com

As for uncomfortable shoes, they suck. And plenty of shoes are handsome and comfortable. You may just have to look a little harder and be willing to spend a little more for them but heck if you don’t deserve them.

So glad to finally be at a place where I have enough perspective to make choices to purge and declutter all these former “possibilities”. With the clarity in one realm, I feel certain that clarity will spill over into many more. And I won’t be standing here wondering who I am and what I’m supposed to do/look like/suffer through too much longer.

If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit. If you Sign up for my newsletter in the sign up box over there to the right, you’ll receive a first look-see at my Creative Mothers’ Manifesto!  Heartfelt impassioned words on the need for expressing creativity for your soul and being a better mother for it

Losing Weight : Expectations, Definitions, and Permission

It took me four months but I finally lost that dagum 10 pounds. How certain I’d been that it was only going to take me those first two months to lose that weight doing Weight Watchers. Then I’d win that bet and get my money back like they’d offered. And it was all going real well until it wasn’t.

I had been cruising at a pretty good clip. I was going to weigh in at Weight Watchers once every two to three weeks. As a woman, my weight will fluctuate three pounds in one week as I bloat and back-up before my period. 50 is doing a stutter on that now and it’ll do what it does until it’s done. And then there was a set back.

We’d enjoyed Mother’s Day and I’d gone off-plan. I had eaten whatever I wanted for two days, not kept good track of it, and the day that I officially weighed in, I’d not gone to the bathroom. This resulted in a “you’re the same weight as you were last time” outcome, and I went home feeling defeated.

My expectations were already blown. I’d declared that I’d lose these pounds and I hadn’t.Weight Loss on Shalavee.com

Lesson One: Be careful what you’re expectations are that you are holding yourself up to.

A young woman and mother I know at the local YMCA and Weight Watchers too, belittled herself by saying she can only get to the gym 5 days but not on the weekend. Really? Who still doesn’t think that 5 days is stupendous? Her. When we set our goals so high that it’s unachievable, how do we ever get to feel good about anything we do?

I turned that whole previous weigh-in debacle around when last night I took myself to the Weight Watchers meeting to weigh in again and lo and behold, I’m suddenly 2.5 pounds lighter. And coming home I thought about how this Weight Watchers weight loss attempt is a walk on a razor’s edge. You need the accountability of the weigh-in to keep you honest and to keep going. Yet I am adamant about saying that there is no number in the world that defines any on us. We are not proven worthy by our weight. Period. Nor our children’s accomplishments. Nor the balance in our bank accounts. We are not numbers but souls in need of compassion.

Your height, weight, and IQ score are not you. Your soul defines you. So the second lesson here on the Weight Watchers learning march was,

Lesson Two: Be conscious and wise about your definition of the best you.

I was so used to feeling hopeless about my weight loss that when it didn’t seem to go as fast as I expected it to, I wanted to just say it was all bad and give up, throw in the towel… for about a minute. Then I knew that what I really needed was to tweak my all-or-nothing thinking.

I’d have never even started this weight loss process if I hadn’t given myself permission to finally move. Sometimes we sit there on our throne of indignation and victimization screaming we can’t do it. We think it’ll be easier to sit and hope that someone will give us permission to move and hand us our definition of who we’re supposed to be and look like. It’s hard making a decision and choosing change but that is actually easier than sitting in that one controlled anxious spot for so long. The mind move has made me feel lighter as well as the weight loss.Weight Loss on Shalavee.com

Lesson Three: The only one who’s granting permission today is you so figure out how you’re gonna get it.

Despite the lies I was telling myself about how the process wasn’t working and I may have to give up on me, I kept on going just in case. And what I got to finally enjoy was that I reached my ten pound goal today on my scale at home. Funnier, I found out that Weight Watchers’ goal weight is only 7 pounds from now ! I had myself going for 13 more. And honestly, I’m so happy that I can fit into my clothing, I truly could never feel that disappointed in myself and I’m so proud that I have gotten this far.

I might only be moving a half a pound a week but that gets me to my goal from the beginning: to be happily skinnier by my 50th birthday. And that is coming up at the end of the Summer !!! I am already feeling so proud and I will be glad to embrace my next decade with pride in me instead of dislike for me.

If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit. If you Sign up for my newsletter in the sign up box over there to the right, you’ll receive a first look-see at my Creative Mothers’ Manifesto!  Heartfelt impassioned words on the need for expressing creativity for your soul and being a better mother for it.

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