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How We Learn to Be More Self Aware

I often say, “The reason that teachers know their subject so well is because they’ve taken classes in the same subject and reviewed the material over and over until it’s drilled into their heads. By the end of their educational careers, soon to be teachers will have had four or five years of concentrated studying of their specific subject. Can we learn to be self-aware in the same way?

I began to think about what this meant when applied to the work of self-actualization and self-development. I have been studying concepts on raising self-esteem and being mindful and creating self-trust for a long long time. I think you have to be exposed to something for a long long time, over and over, especially something that is so personal to your perceived survival, until it starts to make the truest sense to you.

How We Learn to Be More Self Aware on shalavee.com

This can take the form of classes or books, but I realized that it has been real people that have influenced my awareness shift mostly. People who I may have never met but whose words clonk me over the head with their truth. Many of these amazing people I’ve found on Instagram. Like Anna Lovind. Or at the library. And my therapist who is a third party neutral, giving it to me straight without a stake in my game so I know it to be true. And as you begin to steer your thoughts toward the place that you know is better for you, safer and less anxious, you surprise yourself with the ideas and better conclusions you come up with.

The self-awareness that you’re having these happy positive thoughts about yourself is what raises your conscious level and your esteem by understanding and acknowledging your choice to change. And change feeds back to your thoughts about yourself in a happy feedback loop. Change first only asks that you be aware it’s possible.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

My Herstory of Unwanted Advances

What’s the official name for an uninvited unwanted advance? Those occasions when men have ungraciously invaded our personal spaces to “offer’ their manliness to us. Situations that put we women into a victim role warding off hands or words of a sexual aggressive nature? Yeah the incidents we’ve accepted as just part of womanhood.

I’ve had more than several of those. I just didn’t give the advances or my distaste for their memory any credence. But they’re still there lurking about testifying to a world that victimizes young women. The world where personal boundaries are optional.

There was that time when the well known local television anchorman cornered my twenty year old self in a dead end hallway of the under construction television station. I was a beautiful young intern. He was a lascivious veteran of trapping young beautiful interns.

There was the time when my great uncle tried to grope my teenage body in the local Missouri swimming hole. I think I told him to get his hands off me old man. That did the trick.

My Herstory of Unwanted Advances on Shalavee.com

There was the time my boyfriend’s father tried to give me a back massage, aka feel me up. I was 19 and upon telling my boyfriend this, he exclaimed there was no possible way his father could have done that since that man had almost become a priest.

There was the time that my ex-husband wanted to put his fingers in places I was uncomfortable with.

There was that time when I had split from that husband and my male co-worker wanted to offer his manly services to me if I ever felt lonely.

That’s probably enough to prove my unwanted advance track record? I have endured and stuffed these many occurrences, as many man women do, with the hope that my daughter will be savvier as well as live in a world less tolerant of this. In fact, I want to shout with my new loud voice, do this to my daughters and die. We never ask for the attention so why should I or she ever have to deal with it again? Although I also am reminded, I am never a victim unless I want to claim that title.

And I want to note my hope that our male partners will stand with us for these and so many more issues that separate us and diminish our power. Awareness is something we build together and a collective intolerance is change I support.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Hush Hush Voices Carry

I have always been a loud person. I got my boisterousness, my exuberance, and my volume honestly. My mother’s laugh is loud enough so that you can find her at a State Fair. I am a truth teller, a devotee to honesty and the catharsis of storytelling.

When I was a teen, I met many people who really wanted me to hush up, quiet down, tone it down, etc.. My loudness, my truthfulness made them nervous. And so I began to resent being Shushed. But I believe my honesty makes people the most nervous.

hush hush voices carry on shalavee.com

In a world where you have to strive to fit in, where you supposed to tell other people’s truths, truthfulness isn’t valued. Even though talk television is brimming with true tales of self-defeat by addiction and the tragic sadness of self-hatred, it seems that it is still something that people aren’t allowed to talk about in the real world. Over coffee or a cocktail. Especially not on a public platform like a blog!

But here I am people. I don’t think I knew where this blog would lead me or what I would get up to by writing it. But I bloomed because of it. And my wobbly self-esteem and racy admissions have proven to be the very thing that people secretly wanted to hear someone else saying so they knew they weren’t the only ones.

I am loud and proud to be a wobbly uncertain human. And I appreciate and have compassion for everyone, even the ones that want to shush me, because you are just as human too.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

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