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You’ve Never Been Alone

There’s a saying used behind the closed doors of the Anonymous meetings. People with addictions are “terminally unique”. Somehow, the dreadful feeling of isolation and alone-ness is a sort of backward badge of honor giving you full on permission to kill yourself by your addiction of choice. Addictions plays us like puppets; fearful of conceived promise of death by not continuing our addictions, we stage our own deaths inadvertently.

Makes me think of the person who would die of hunger while the man next to him held out a sandwich. We are never alone yet our fear of being so makes it so. We can not conceive of the fact that we are not the only person on the earth who has felt this way. Doesn’t it feel so much better when someone says they know exactly how you feel and they tell you their story and you know you aren’t alone.You've Never Been Alone on Shalavee.com

The trick is, you have to be in the same room with the person telling you the story. If you isolate and never allow yourself to be in the same room with anyone who might have the same problem, you will never know that relief.

I can tell you that you are not alone. But until you feel that for yourself, you will probably always truly deep down inside cling to the concept of being the only one. Belonging is the balm that heals all the wounds of dissociation. A group feels safer than being in the wild on your own. Everyone deserves to come in from the wild to a welcoming community.

If you enjoyed what you read, please subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your email box. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional In-touchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

I Forget Myself

Am trying to find my way back to me. Seems my fear of vulnerability and my Impostor Syndrome regularly derail me from my course settings and I find myself off-roading, distracted by the current tasks and scenery, and I soon forget what it was I was doing. I forget how much I’ve already accomplished. I forget myself.

This realization happened again to me this week. I am certain I have even written this blog post before. I feel like the Tom Hanks short-term memory guy character on Saturday Night Live. He kept turning around and saying to Tony Randall,”Hey, you’re Tony Randall!”. I read a few of my over 1000 blog posts and I say,”Hey, I’m a pretty good writer”. Or I hear from a reader occasionally who says they love what I write and I realize, “Hey, someone’s reading what I write.” And then I have to go grocery shopping and make dinner and I disappear again.I Forget Myself on shalavee.com

I do not have a big goal about where I am going with myself. I aim to stay invisible which will reduce the vulnerability. Except, I am lying to myself if I think I’ve not been riding that road for a very long time. So here I am staring at myself saying,”Now what?”.

I am in charge of my “what” every single day. I get to decide if I am going to aspire for more, stay where I am, or withdraw. That is a choice I have treated irreverently. I have acted like I have no power, like I am a victim to the Christmas and Summer seasons. Like so many things are more important than my work, my voice, and my creative impact. I am not and they aren’t.I Forget Myself on shalavee.com

In the anonymous programs they say that everyday is a good day to start over. It is never to late to step into your own power of choice and tell yourself and others to listen up. I think I see a bullhorn over there. Wait right here while I go pick that up.

If you enjoyed what you read, please subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your email box. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional In-touchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Give Yourself the Credibility for the Courage You’ve Already Shown

It took me exactly 51 years and 179 days to have the courage to get here. There’s much that I will not remember about this half century I’ve lived. And there’s much that I could remember if I put my mind to thinking about it. But I think the greatest tragedy is the disrespect we can show ourselves as we forget ourselves. As we underplay our achievements.

When we invalidate ourselves by blowing off a compliment or comparing how we feel about ourselves compared to what we perceive someone else is/has/has done, we commit such a crime against our own humanity. We invalidate our own existence.Give Yourself the Credibility for the Courage You've Already Shown on shalavee.com

We invalidate our own existence.

But what of all the people who benefited from our actions and our presence? Like in It’s a Wonderful Life, were we to take ourselves out of the equation and nullify our actions, we’d most likely cause irreparable harm to those people whose lives we’ve touched.

It takes tremendous courage to be us everyday. It takes courage to get married, get divorced, have children, and endeavor anything. We make creative risks daily whether they’re what we cook for dinner or what jobs/tasks we take on outside our homes, we are using courage we apparently undervalue.Give Yourself the Credibility for the Courage You've Already Shown on shalavee.com

Yesterday I remembered a challenge I’d hosted that I’d forgotten from a year and a half ago. I am re-losing the weight that I’ve lost before. I’m full of so much more talent and experience than I ever give myself credit for. And while I’m not going to rewrite my resume today, I’m going to be extra mindful about what I tell myself I don’t have the courage for and can’t do. Because after a half a century plus, I think there’s a lot I can in fact do and do well.

If you enjoyed what you read, please subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your email box. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional In-touchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

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