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The Tragedy of Mothering

Seems almost criminal that some women like myself, when we become mothers, suddenly become self-doubting imploding Mommys. I mean women who were successful in the corporate realm, women who brought home paychecks and held job titles, when they are faced with the relentlessness and chaos of parenting, feel like incompetent losers. Happens to a lot of women.

There we are, the most important people to the future people of the world, and self-doubts and feelings of overwhelming incompetency crumple us. And we are rendered incapable of doing our best mothering as we attempt to recover from the incredible self-doubt that this overwhelming job has caused.Playground giddy on Shalavee.com

I’ve spoken to two other women this week who also suffered from post-postpartum depression after their babies were born. Alone, isolated, without a good support group, no matter if you’re young or old, rich of poor, it can and will happen to you. Bad things can happen but in our cases, we each got through and eventually became aware. Should I have had more people to help? Absolutely. Should I have been on medication? You betcha. Did I recognize this very common condition in myself? Not at all.It's better when we get together on Shalavee.com

I’m out of the woods, sprinting across the meadow of my second child and now my purpose has bloomed and I understand the power of just saying “Ouch”. Of being OK with not being OK. The strength it takes to admit your own “weakness”. And then to go about doing everything and anything to gain a hand hold on Hope. I want to feel good about the job I’m doing as a mother. And I want our children to not think it’s their fault because Mommy’s not feeling like being a Mommy today. I want us to have fulfillable expectations of our abilities and our capacities. And I want my kids to know that I’m human and doing the best that I can.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter orPinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Imagine

Driving southward to Peace Camp this July and John Lennon’s Imagine comes on the radio. It plays through to the first chorus and I ask Eamon if he knows what the song is about. And he is spot on when he answers, “he doesn’t want there to be any war”. And I say, yes and all those things that he’s imagining away are just reasons for people to dislike and ultimately kill each other over.

Land, Damnation, Redemption, and Ethnicity.

crops on Shalavee.com

At Peace Camp we had a brief assembly and talked about what it means to be a peacekeeper. Among a few points well made by the organizer, that we live our lives with honesty and integrity and be present for others. That we mend instead of sever and respect instead of denigrate. We accept others’ choices for their right to choose, we value our mutual right to be heard and respected, and we are helpful when and wherever we can.

I attempt to do this sort of soul living every day. I do not watch the news just so that I don’t get a brain cloud. But I can not judge you if you choose to do so. I am an all-inclusive spiritual kinda gal and carry a faith in a larger Spirit but it may not be your God I worship. Our right is to do our reverence in private. And what I put in my body and how I raise my children are the best I know how and may be different from what you may choose but they are but a few of the many choices I must make daily. Because they are mine to make.clouds on the farm on Shalavee.com

I say these last things in a way of offering a stop sign to those who need to get their righteous identity from anything they believe in which automatically makes me wrong for not believing. Siloism is a concept where you and everyone who believes with you is secluded and is offended at those that are different. People in silos don’t include and communicate with others and so there’s stagnation. There’s nothing getting into or out of the silo to affect growth of an organization, company, or community, or family.

It’s this particular mindset that I find most scary in the world in whatever form it takes and I offer the idea that if one is unwilling to respect others’ choices, that is still a choice. Proselytizing alienates. Us and them never works out well in the end. Agreeing to disagree and respecting our differing choices does.empty bench on Shalavee.com

Peacekeepers must be willing to not be right to keep the peace and be willing to admit when their choice may be only theirs and not great for everyone else. And then they find somewhere in the middle to still stand in the same room together. It is respect for our differences that will keep us alive and happy. And that is where I stand as I teach my son and daughter how to be peacekeepers.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter orPinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Annapolis with Leah

It is harder than you might imagine to make new friends as you get older. No new jobs to meet people through. Your town has the same people save maybe a new neighbor or two. Fellow parents may not be your age or have the same interests. And the organizations you belong to can be of the been there, done that variety.

I was thrilled beyond words when I discovered that there was someone in my same artsy creative circles online who lived within an hour of me. In fact there were several women who I reached out to and began to meet up with. When I met my gal Leah, as well as my new friend Sarah, we all sighed with relief. We were all the same sort of oddly creative whacky people and were already friends from our connection online. We are all uber-creatives who really need an offline connection.

Sunflowers and bricks for an urban garden oasis in Annapolis on Shalavee.com

Urban gardening is sublime in Annapolis on Shalavee.com

Urban gardening is sublime

Me and Leah in Annapolis on Shalavee.com

Me and my gal pal Leah

I met Leah for the first time at the Walters Art Gallery in Baltimore back in March. We just hit it off. We are from similar backgrounds and the same age and rather at the same place in figuring out what to do with our talented selves.

Blue bike in the island in Annapolis on Shalavee.com

Blue bike on the brick street island in Annapolis

This next time we met up in Annapolis. What bloody fun that was! We ended up walking in the rain and just didn’t care. And going on an impromptu photo safari around the beautiful historical capital area of downtown. Wow. And of course, non-stop talking. So so much fun.

State House stairway in Annapolis on Shalavee.com

The perfect photo-op, State House stairway in Annapolis

old overgrown church in Annapolis on Shalavee.com

Old overgrown church in Annapolis

How I love me some urban tree roots in Annapolis on Shalavee.com

How I love me some urban tree roots

Recycling in Annapolis on Shalavee.com

Recycling in Annapolis

Wrought iron goes right to my heart in Annapolis, MD on Shalavee.com

Wrought iron goes right to my heart in Annapolis, MD

Shopping in Annapolis and I want every stinkin' one of these wacky little finger puppets in Annapolis on Shalavee.com

Shopping in Annapolis and I want every stinkin’ one of these wacky little finger puppets

Cobalt gated alleyway with clay hued walls in Annapolis, MD on Shalavee.com

Cobalt gated alleyway with clay hued walls !

Mailbox and tiled doorway in Annapolis, MD on Shalavee.com

Mailbox and tiled doorway

Footie on the dock walk in Annapolis, MD on Shalavee.com

Footie on the dock walk in Annapolis, MD

The Drunken Princess in Annapolis MD on Shalavee.com

The Drunken Princess

State House lawn in Annapolis on Shalavee.com

Annapolis State House lawn

I hope you enjoyed the results of our photo safari !

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter orPinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

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