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The Seesaw of Being a Creative and a Parent

Being a mother, the primary caregiver, and a creative as well, I have come up against such emotional backlash when it comes to being true to both jobs at the same time. I still struggle with not letting my fear of being unavailable for my children be a reason to keep me from doing things. Or the excuse.

I am beginning to understand that there has always been a scary undertow that keeps women from blooming. It is supported by the world’s beliefs s that we continue to suppress ourselves. But our children would flourish and aspire to loving their lives if we showed them what that looked like.

Wherever you are and whatever you are doing needs to be enough. Being completely present in each moment, whether that moment contains you paying full attention to the needs of the child or yourself, is our key to mastering the trust of our momentary decisions. It needs to be the exact thing you should be doing and it needs to be enough.

Each moment we spend with our children when we intentionally pay attention to them, needs to satisfy their needs. Whether that’s listening or disciplining them. And then we can suspend our guilt when we take care of our needs because we’re modeling self-parenting for them. We are showing them self-care and self-respect.

I wrote a Creative Mother’s Manifesto almost three years ago which I’d love you to read if you feel there are still words you need to express your frustration about being in that place in between mothering and creating. And there are three interviews I did with immensely talented creative women as well as Mothers listed below. Let me know what you think about this subject.

Q & A With Creative Momma Megan Gray

Suzonne Stirling – Uber-Creative and Stylist and Mom : Q & A

Q & A with Anna Lovind, Sage and Creative Guide

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

When I Want You to Like Me

I cringe when I think about it. Not even that long ago, I really needed people to want to be with me. I attached so much importance to people’s response to my invitations to hang out that if they didn’t get back to me or refused me, I was crushed.

I apparently have abandonment issues earned honestly from my Mom and Dad but still I find this annoying when we’re no longer talking about a five year old but a 52 year old. I put a lot of value in what people near and dear to me say and I want to spend time with them hearing it.

When I want you to like me on Shalavee.com

But when that fear creeps out and attaches to what the audience who did and didn’t show up for something I did thinks of me, I have to call “Halt”. I took two risks last year, one a public speech on anxiety and creativity and one leading a workshop and after both, I had similar experiences of abandonment and impostor syndrome shame. After the second, I sought medical help and that alleviated so much anxiety.

But I still want to understand what I am thinking that brings me to such places so fast. There’s such crazy depth to our psyches. I can not control what you think of me. I can only decided what I think of me. But if my worth depends on you, I’m screwed. And so many of us are doing this. Are you?

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Accepting Who We Are

I have reached a new place here at 52 where I want to understand who I am. It occurs to me that I have judged myself by who I am not. Compared myself to bars constructed at heights I saw others reaching. And that is always a half full place to occupy. Instead I want it to be easier. I want to want to be me in the place where I am right now today. And that requires an understanding of who me is.

Science is revealing that our family’s history of trauma may be embedded in our DNA if not just our understanding of the trauma we’ve known and had passed down. We also are told that people are born homosexual, its not a choice always. There are many choices and yet more givens than I think I understood. The world is starting to ask we accept just what is.

Accepting Who we Are on Shalavee.com

Coming to a place of acceptance, compassion, and understanding of ourselves is the only true gift we can give our fellow beings. How can we hand these gifts to others if we don’t have them within ourselves first? What I am beginning to understand is the way I convey and treat myself is the way the world will treat me.

I accept that I am completely gray. I will keep dying my hair all the same.

I accept that I tell you like it is. I will always be kind about it though.

I accept that I may have anxiety embedded in my DNA too. I will continue to take this medicine that made a world of difference and broke me through to the other side for long needed perspective.

I accept that my low self-esteem has kept me small and scared for a long time but I refuse to let that be my life story.

Telling ourselves the truth and seeing ourselves for the fallible human beings we are is one step closer to accepting ourselves. And when we accept ourselves, we belong to ourselves. And everyone wants just this. To be home in their own bodies is to start from home base and go out from there to tag others with our acceptance. To spread our gifts of understanding and compassion and acceptance costs nothing and starts in the ways we treat ourselves today.

Love to you ! And you! And you!

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

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