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My Value

I have stabbed at understanding my disconnect with putting my talents out there in an actual way for people to pay me for them. I do believe everyone that says I’m creatively talented but I just haven’t been able to connect between the doing and the getting paid to do it.

When you focus on something, answers show up. This week two separate sources have hinted at what my disconnect might be. Valuing myself.

Sycamore bark from Shalavee.com

In Bari Tessler’s Money Healing, a program designed to help with the emotional work of creating an honest, mature relationship with money, she explains, ”Here, we dissolve shame. We get clear on our “money story” and unwind patterns that no longer serve us. We claim our value.

And Tiffany Han, a life coach extraordinaire, says, “Articulate what you’re doing. Tell your story. Figure out the specifics of how you can help people. Learn to communicate the value of the work you’re doing. And then share that communication with the world. Over and over and over again.”

And then today, in her newsletter, Kory Woodard, another gal who’s business’s purpose is to help other gals play out their purposes, says, “You have something valuable to offer the world. By not putting your ideas out there, you’re holding yourself back.”

Yes, yes yes. Ok, now what?

Candy lights from Shalavee.com

I’ve noticed that I have often been off-put by people trying to sell me stuff. Perhaps I’m overcompensating for what I don’t want to be perceived as doing. If I never hawk my talents and wares, I’ll never offend anyone by seeming some sort of salesperson. But then it seems I ‘m saying that what I have to offer has no worth and I don’t exactly believe that either.

When I dig a little deeper, I find that some of the lead players in my life story have had larger than normal egos and so I tend to shy away from actions that seem egomaniacal. Yes the act of self-promotion implies you know the value of what you do but I’ve misconstrued it as getting your ego off too. I need to separate the ego from the equation as the value of a service or talent isn’t necessarily how great the person themselves are.

I’m searching for a re-frame for this. Any and all suggestions and advice will be welcome.

Acknowledge Me

An Instagram acquaintance posted that she just wished people would listen to what she was actually saying instead of thinking about what she was about to say next. Of course I agreed. Said it was annoying the way people try to follow along and attempt to say what you’re saying as you say it. Mind and lip readers everywhere.

Please acknowledge me is what we’re really saying when we’re telling our story.

Fiona at the Olive Garden

Every little guy and every big one too just wants to be acknowledged. I want you to see me and say, “I see you”. And I hear you and feel you too. We are all toddlers in our need to be recognized. And there’s nothing wrong with that need.

So when people come onto my blog and say something, anything in response to something I took time to create and publish, daggone right I feel good about that interaction. When people return my call after I’ve made an effort to place one to them first, I feel good again. And when I get a thank you card in the mail in response to whatever effort I’ve made, I feel acknowledged alright.

look into the light Eamon on Shalavee.com

And that is the way it needs to be.

So I behave the way I want to be treated. I listen and repeat what the person talking apparently wants me to hear. And I send out thank you’s and birthday cards. Because it’s respectful and it’s treating others the way you’d want to be treated. Thank you to all of you who’s kind words have found my ears and made me feel better about me for it. Thank you.

If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Self Discoveries

My emergence from October’s rough seas was Venus-like with a clearer vision of lovely me. Full of gratitude and clarity, November was my month to “get it”. Do you remember the scene from City Slickers where the old cowboy Curly (Jack Palance) is telling Billy Crystal’s character that all he needs to do is find that one thing ? He then dies and we’re all left to wonder, what was it.

I found a chunk of “it” inside me that makes sense of me in the ‘outside of my brain’ world. It is Creativity with a capital ‘C’.  I need to create daily I declared. And so far, it’s been working out pretty well.

antique tray shoot from Shalavee.com

November was also the month I chose Abundance and Opportunity for my two new focus words. And when you focus on something, as I understand it, it manifests in your life because it has to. And then you have days like this. So the lessons I was learning about myself pertain to these words because that is where I wanted to show up and learn about myself.

First, with a quick intro to enneagrams,  I learned that I’m the kind of person to create and build up wonderful stuff full of potential. And then walk away from it just when it was getting ready to be the very thing that needed to happen to move me on. Because I get distracted or don’t value what I’ve made? I dunno. My life feels like it’s never taken off in the right direction. Just a bunch of stalls. But now I have begun to see all the parts that lay around me that could all be considered both abundance and opportunity. I’ve been overwhelmed by my abundance and didn’t value what I had. “It’s not getting what you want,” sings Sheryl Crow, “It’s wanting what you’ve got.”

beef stew on Shalavee.com

Then, in a conversation with my counselor, I also realized that I make situations harder than they need to be. “Why do you think I do that?” I ask. “Because it’s all you’ve ever known” she says. So simple. I make things hard. So I have made a conscious effort to make things simpler. And noticing the difference in the stress level when stuff doesn’t have to be so… perfect, cooked from scratch, or clean. And that my child doesn’t have to have every meal be well-balanced and an Elmo episode, or two, is good for both of us.

diningroom table from Shalavee.com

Putting the equation together in a daily practice suddenly became easier too. Thanks to inspiration from Jane Barry of That Curious Love of Green who said make the time for your stuff a priority and when you prioritize your creative time, everything else will end up getting done anyway. And thanks to a weird faith that has started to form around my understanding of my ability to pull off whatever I put my mind to, I’m making things happen. And that keeps me jazzed up enough to move on to the next challenge and perhaps a few more self discoveries. And sometimes I do it so quickly I don’t have anytime to pause. A rolling stone gathers no moss. But I really like moss so that’s OK too.

If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

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