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Why is Being Less Anxious a Bad Thing?

For years, I suffered my anxieties. Eventually, I recognized them and set an intention to “cure” myself of them. I tried everything to make this happen. I am perpetually in therapy. I read a copious amount of material on understanding myself, self-love, meditation, and forgiveness. And nothing was truly doing the trick.

A year ago when finally, in desperation, I wisely asked for my doctor to write me a prescription for some pharmaceutical relief from what finally felt like a living anxious hell, I found my way out. I had won and I had lost. Because while I feel 200 % better with no more roaming perpetual anxious dialogues in my head, it wasn’t supposed to be that easy.

I told my therapist, it was like I’d been rowing hard in a row boat race upstream to beat my anxieties and suddenly I was in a cigarette boat and I’d reached the finish line. It felt like I’d won and I’d cheated. My recovery was supposed to be hard won. Easy is apparently not an easy word for me to live by. Why is Being Less Anxious a Bad Thing? on shalavee.com

I think that the neuropathways of the brain can be so worn down in familiar anxious usage that it really is too difficult to redesign the topography. The medicine allows you to rise about the auto thoughts and recreate happier healthier ways of thinking. Yes, for people like me who have struggled so long, we feel the struggle is noble, it seems a cheat. But isn’t the point to escape the anxieties?

I still work on myself in all the same ways I did before. I am focusing a great deal on self-compassion and allowing for my humanity. I am enjoying all the tiny moments that make up my life. I am trying to live meditatively. And I am doing a pretty amazing job of it. Perhaps I just need to forgive myself for taking the easy way out.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Pumpkin Smashers

I was a city kid, savvy to the dangers of the incivility of civilization. I’ve had to field unwanted advance from local celebrities, fend off junkies and drunks on the public bus, and walk home at nighttime from work. But I don’t think I’ve ever felt more upset than when I had my jack o’ lantern smashed at Halloween when I was in my 30’s.

Of course it was the neighborhood teenagers and I knew better than to have left it out. But it was then that I coined the phrase “pumpkin smashers” to describe “those” people. The people who are without compassion for the efforts of others’ creativity. People who are insensitive and completely entitled to treat other people like “its”.

And what I’ve realized is that there are pumpkin smashers in all life’s arenas, not just on your street on Halloween. People lurking on the internet and Facebook whose only care is for themselves and their righteousness. They will criticize you and your stuff as quickly as picking a chunk of mud from their shoe and then quickly move off to do it to someone else.

I get that the world is full of pumpkin smashers. But why do we let them get to us? Why are we so incensed by their lack of compassion? How can they be so thoughtless and rude? It’s breaking the rules of civility, morality, and humanity to act that way. But these people are not our equals. They are wounded toddlers. And they are the real ones in need of our compassion.

So the next time you get a knee jerk reaction to a pumpkin smasher, take a moment to consider it is absolutely not about you. It’s about their lacks, their sadness, and their losses. And extend to them the compassion that they so desperately need to give to themselves. They may borrow it, they may not but it’s the only humanity they may have all day.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Are You a Noun or a Verb?

If I had to tell you what I would do when I grew up, I’d say “I’m going to be a Momma. I’m going to be an Artist. I’m going to be a Writer. And I’ll expect all of those things of myself that go along with being the best Momma Artist Writer that you think I can be. I mean I think I can be.”

Who gets to decide if you are what you say you are? Are you legitimate only when someone says you are, gives you a certificate or a diploma or an award? Because if the answer is anyone other than you deeming you legitimate, you’re screwed. You have no control over anyone or anything but what you do today.

An additional haphazard of self-definition is deciding what to base your definition on. Are you are a human being or your human doing? Are you a noun or a verb?

I say you are what you do daily. You are not your title but what you devote your time and energy to. You are the energy of your intentions.Are You a Noun or a Verb? on Shalavee.com

But maybe you are innately you at any given point and the doing is a distraction from yourself and being. You can try to do all the things to change our mind but we know who you are. Again, your insecurities about others’ opinions of you can render you hazy and scattered.

If focusing your intentions and efforts will bring you to what you want, I guess that makes me a human doing in the best way possible. I know that all I do makes me happy and purposeful. And besides, I think Mom is a verb anyway.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

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