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No Fair

I caught myself this past week being very unfair to me. The slight anxiety I was experiencing was proof that I was doing something in my head that wasn’t kind. When I asked what was at the bottom of this, I realized there were unrealistic expectations about both my body and my writing work that I had judged myself as inferior for not meeting.

I was accusing myself of not being productive or proactive enough with my blog/writing projects and not speedily getting back into shape after the weight gain of the holidays. But then I realized that I’m trying to hold myself to goals but I have yet to define their limits. No fair. No fair on Shalavee.com

So I need to step back first and ask, what am I interested in achieving and who is it for because if the answer isn’t “for me”, I’m finished before I start. When the goal I’ve set is for me and my betterment, then I can proactively plan out my steps to achieving the goal. And perhaps find a way to install some accountability to insure its completion.That’s the right way to read my mind and in a step succession that is fair.

I would never ask my kids to guess what I expect of them to do. As members of the household, I give them specific expectations about how they’re to help and to speak respectfully to me. And I reward them in kind. There shouldn’t be rules of kindness for them that are different from how I treat myself. It’s false to think that Mama mule will work harder and better when she never gets a break and doesn’t know what’s at the top of the hill she’s climbing. No fair on Shalavee.com

I have found that when you define what it is you expect of yourself and your children, then everyone feels a little more comfortable within those preset boundaries. And things feel a little more fair. Today I will set some short-term and long-term goals with some time limits and then I’ll know I can’t judge myself for not being in process. And I’ll start again anew as I always do.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter orPinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

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Letting Go of What No Longer Serves You

Recently my friend closed her shop down. It was the absolute right thing for her to do. The shop was taking more than it was giving back and it was time for them to break up. I can remember having to make that soul-crushing decision with my shop. And this made me feel sad for its demise however well-advised.

Sometimes we have to reverse our decisions. Our choices may no longer be achieving for us what we’d thought they would or what they were achieving has since ceased. I started doing a live video broadcast on my Facebook page last July in 2016 and kept it going for several months. But I discovered that I’d have been better off just doing live to tape videos because no one was tuning in. And then we needed to upgrade our Wi-fi when the live feed started to freeze. Wasn’t worth the stress I determined.letting go of what no longer serves you on Shalavee.com

But I had a super super hard time letting my Friday expectation go. I had made this commitment to me and to the world and I felt like I was letting me and the world down. Here’s the thing : if it’s not working then you need to reassess. Whatever you are doing, when you’ve reached the point of diminishing returns, you need to allow for the progress that letting go will allow. I can tell you that was the number one lesson I needed to learn when leaving my ex-husband.Your word and legal documents don’t mean anything if you are miserable.letting go of what no longer serves you on Shalavee.com

So here’s to saying no to what no longer is working or serving its initial and intended purpose so that we can open up our minds and hearts to the next thing that might do that better. Be that a job or a husband or a goal, we know when what we’ve been working on is or isn’t working and the effort to change tracks is far more important than the effort we keep making to continue to try to make something work that just isn’t.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter orPinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

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Not a Loser or a Gainer but a Wicked Maintainer

When it comes to my body and my soul work, I can maintain what I’ve got for all eternity. It’s movement that I seem to be having a tough time with. I managed to move my body weight down maybe 6 pounds last year with Weight Watchers. And maintained it until Christmas when I gave myself permission to eat what I wanted assuming I’d gain it back. Which I did. I chose it. And now, a year later, I’m back where I started. Maintaining my weight gain despite good intentions and motivation. Not a loser or a gainer but a wicked maintainer.not a loser or a gainer but a wicked maintainer on Shalavee.com

The same can be said for my progress in my writing. I gained ground when I committed to writing daily and posting three times weekly. Yet when it comes to moving beyond the commitment of writing for my blog and trying to get published, I haven’t been able to allow myself to gain ground. I seem to expect just enough of myself to keep my blog afloat. I blame my need to mother simultaneously but I know that’s malarkey. I’m maintaining my writing practice but not growing it.

In a way I feel good about it all. At least I’m not losing ground I think. That’s a win isn’t it? But in a world where we judge ourselves for the progress we’ve made, I am not proud of treading water. I like writing and love connecting with other people on the subjects I love talking about. But being bold and disciplined is tough. Retreating, snuggling in, and not risking seems like it’s easy. But it’s not feeling easy. not a loser or a gainer but a wicked maintainer on Shalavee.com

So I’m asking myself those questions again about what makes me happy? What is it I value and what would it take to achieve that value? And I am recommitting to that process. Not because I want you to like and approve of me. But because I want to be proud of me. I want to know that I am not caving in to my fear but making small efforts to make myself proud to be me on a daily basis.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter orPinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

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