My everyday, nay, my every moment is full of my expectation thoughts. I have expectations of how my day will play out. Then, I base my feelings of how my day and my life is going on how I perceive it is going as compared to how I expected it would go and then I pass a judgement. The End.
But perceptions are still subjective. I have a nasty habit of judging my glass to be half empty. Same fill line as half full but it’s the way I am used to seeing it. I think this way, if anything blindsided me with bad news or disappointment, I won’t have far to fall. I guard against joy.
But if this is all a habitual equation, a standard pair of sunglasses I’m so used to donning, I no longer notice them, then that means there’s a chance to backpedal and find another way to seeing my life. Because I get the distinct feeling that my life is waaaayyyy better than I’m giving it credit for. The habit to guard against disaster and seeing it all as in need of fixing, is robbing me of my every day every moment high.
What if I am already living the life I always wanted? What if in this constant looking beyond to the future and then disregarding my now is robbing me of the one life I get to enjoy? Because I think that’s exactly what is going on.
I get to see my healthy children grow up every day. I get to create words and pictures as often as I choose. I have a supportive as heck husband and several really nice supportive communities. My healthcare is paid for and I have a new roof on my house. I’d say I have a lot to count my glass as half full. So here’s to taking my fear glasses back and getting the prescription and tint changed. I’ll settle for 20/40 and rose-tinted sunglasses.
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