Have you ever you read something and thought immediately you needed that to be true for you too? Sooner than Later. My journey through blogging and self-discovery has set me face to face with so many options and ideas on how to be and do. And it would seem that I often did myself an injustice with my impatience. I wanted desperately to change where I was on my journey timeline. I wanted to be successful and self-actualized already! But because I couldn’t, I felt perpetually bad instead.
Personally, and professionally, I had set my expectations and goals so high, I had to rise to them to be the person I have always meant to be Right Now, knowing everything and producing brilliance… or else I was a failure. Right Now.
There’s no room for humanity in there. There’s no room for growth, no acknowledgement of what I’d already accomplished, and nowhere to stand that’s not inside my skin that felt bad on me.
My impatience was a clue that I already thought I was a failure. The trick is, to move on, you actually have to be OK with where you are now. And then you have to trust yourself that you either posses or will find all the pieces to make that puzzle work. The true trick is in trusting yourself.
I came up with an acronym today for TRUST. Take Root Under (the) Self Tree.
We need to feel secure in our ability to shelter ourselves from the life storms. We have to feel grounded in our own vast amounts of knowledge and experience. We can not move on, trust others, or find our own work brilliant, if we don’t have a relationship with ourselves that isn’t hostile and anxiety filled. All that comes of that is more self-bullying and anxiety.
I discovered that being mean to myself and comparing myself and my blog to others and their bodies or bodies of work didn’t help motivate me in the least. So I have my grounding rock in my pocket, I’m sitting down each day to devote myself to my craft and my self-discovery. And my hope is that this work will pay off eventually. So for now, I’m going to trust the process and be OK with right where I am now.
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2 Comments
Loved the acronym for trust!
I just listened to a podcast from Tara Brach that I think resonates beautifully with your message here.
https://www.tarabrach.com/dragons-schmoos-compassionate-presence/
she notes that our impatience, anxiety, fear, anger, frustration will still manifest itself in our lives, but as we become stronger in our ability to shelter ourselves from life storms, one powerful key might be to invite those emotions into our shelter “for tea”. Avoiding them will not neutralize them, but cultivating a deeper relationship to get behind what is manifesting them will facilitate far more powerfully their departure from the Tree’s shelter and therefore enrich our TRUST and capacity even more. They never really go away because we are human and we’ll encounter impatience again and again and again, but we can treat those emotions with respect and understanding … as a window, an invitation to understand ourselves at a deeper level.
perhaps then, and only then will she leave the table. 😉
thank you for your continued sharing.
Yes I think adjusting our expectations to allow for our emotions and then being compassionate that they exist because…humanity. Thank you so much for this Sue. I get more out of my writing when I hear you tell me stuff back!