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I Was in Happiness Debt

I was thinking this morning about how I used to live my days from waking to sleeping , thinking I was inept and incapable. Every undone thing around me was proof that I was inept and incapable. As I set standards so sky high, I withheld approval for my life to be enough and I was a hostage. This had gone on for so very long that I was in Happiness Debt.

How it is that we come to decide that we are unworthy of happiness is a simple story of a moment in our life, our childhood when we decide that the love we know in our hearts we deserve is not going to be ours. And as we are small, we blame ourselves. This feeling stays in us even as we grow large. And we find ourselves recreating circumstances to continuously prove our unworthy theory.

But having our happiness and hope held for ransom does no one any good. The world doesn’t benefit from our best selves. And I am certain the very people who we got these beliefs from would be horrified if they knew we felt these worthless ways about ourselves.

Do whatever it takes to make changes. What we do with our days makes up our lives. Change nothing and nothing changes. In a last ditch effort, I finally chose to see if medicine might help me erase the constant negative buzz. And it did. Try anything that you can think of from meditation to getting a life coach to acupuncture to create a new set of circumstances. We need change in our brains because we are no longer the children we were once. And our happiness now depends on us. As does our children’s.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

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