Welcome my husband Mark and his second post. It’s a manly subject this one.
I don’t get it…
I found myself pondering the meaning of something I saw dangling from the trailer hitch of a pick up truck driving next to me. At first it appeared to be some sort of trailer adaptor. Maybe an electrical plug for the trailer lights, or possibly a safety chain mechanism that would come into play should the trailer separate from the hitch.
As I looked closer, I recognized this to be truck testes?! Yes, balls… hoobers… whatever vernacular you choose to use, it was them. I continued my commute, vexed for miles over what I had seen and what it meant. And decided that the logic for such ornamentation was beyond my comprehension. I didn’t want to want to know why.
Whew… I was glad that was over. Until the next month when, as I got into the car with my eight year old son, there they were, proudly displayed from the polished hitch of the pick up truck parked in front of us. Eye level. It was a don’t ask don’t tell moment but again, I‘m wondering what it meant. Open up your mind and see what you come up with.
Option number one: It’s a red neck thing. Nah. It doesn’t figure.
On this particular truck there was no gun rack, no confederate flag, no NASCAR decal’s.
Option number two: Testicular cancer survivors. This one would have made the cut if it wasn’t too coincidental that all the vehicles were pick up trucks. Does that mean that pick up trucks cause cancer? Mmmm nope.
Option number three: Lorena Bobbitt fan club, maybe? But she didn’t target the whole package. Just the John Thomas. Ode to what was left over?
Option number four: Man with a small penis? Judgment call.
Option number five: I think this one sounded the best, Inguinal Hernia. It’s a medical condition whereby the intestine gradually slips into the scrotum through a blown out entrance. Uncomfortable, hell yes, but it could make you the hit of the party. So why not advertise?
I will remain an advocate for freedom of speech, but I just don’t get it. And when and if my son asks me why would someone hang those there I’ll just have to tell him, I don’t get it.