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Raising Fair Fiona

They Do As They See

Posted by on Jul 4, 2018 in Ahas, Daily Shalagh, Raising Fair Fiona, The Good Mother | 0 comments

They Do As They See

We all mean well as parents. Well most of us. We mess up trying to overcompensate for the advantages we didn’t have as children. We spoil them and we coddle them when all they really need is our undivided attention and our faith in them. But the one thing many of us seem to overlook is that how we treat ourselves shows them how to treat themselves. And that is only a good story if we are good to ourselves. There is a woman at the exercise gym I belong to who teaches several fitness classes. And her hyper self-loathing comes out when she...

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Being on Purple : The Good Girl Control

Posted by on Jun 13, 2018 in Daily Shalagh, Gathering My Lessons, Little Guy Lessons, Raising Fair Fiona, Self-Discovery, The Good Mother | 2 comments

Being on Purple : The Good Girl Control

At my daughter’s school, the children’s behavior is monitored daily by a stoplight inspired grading system. If you’ve behaved yourself , you get on a green status. If you received a warning, its yellow. And a bad choice will get you to red status and probably get you sent to a principal’s waiting room, or maybe that’s just what I remember. But the most insipid of all is the purple. Because that represents better than good behavior and it’s all my daughter seems to want. To be the good girl. When she’s...

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Body Buddy

Posted by on Apr 11, 2018 in Ahas, Daily Shalagh, Raising Fair Fiona, Self-Discovery | 3 comments

Body Buddy

When my son was little, if I saw he was doing something that would hurt himself intentionally, I’d say, “Don’t hurt my friend”. I say this to my daughter as well.The idea being that I care about them as much as I would a friend seems to be not as obligatory but a choice to care about them. I love each as a buddy and friend and as children. The more I learn about self-care and self-trust, the more I know I need to teach my daughter how to self-soothe and be there for herself instead of looking for the comfort and acceptance outside...

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Fiona’s Moana Themed 5th Birthday Party

Posted by on Mar 19, 2018 in Daily Shalagh, Raising Fair Fiona, She's Crafty, The Good Mother, Visual Me | 4 comments

Fiona’s Moana Themed 5th Birthday Party

We celebrated Fiona’s Fifth birthday with a Moana party theme. We’re still doing the parties old school with family and cousins to play with. And the Moana theme was truly a great excuse to reuse my fabulous palm trees over again from the Viva Havana fundraiser. I took a good long time to conceive of and create some of the details and touches that made it feel fun and tropical islandy. Had the palm trees but needed the tiki god idol pieces to fill out the corner cabinets. They’re painted on hunks of cardboard. The kokomora...

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The Mother Buffer Zone

Posted by on Mar 2, 2018 in Ahas, Daily Shalagh, Gathering My Lessons, Little Guy Lessons, Raising Fair Fiona, The Good Mother | 0 comments

The Mother Buffer Zone

I’ve always said she wants to be my hat and sit on my head. When my daughter is feeling needy, she can’t be on top of me enough. Everything that she emotionally needs is drawn from me and it’s more than draining. The give and the take between a girl and her mother is exhausting and it’s necessary. I need to be very conscious of creating a mother buffer zone. The obstinance and the emotional output she aims at me however… isn’t personal. But most of the time, it feels that way. If there’s an issue of...

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December 2017 in Pictures

Posted by on Dec 22, 2017 in Daily Shalagh, Gathering My Lessons, Keeping House and Mind Alligned, Nest Feathers - Home Design, Raising Fair Fiona, The Good Mother | 0 comments

December 2017 in Pictures

Christmas is a force to be reckoned with. It rolls up on you like some sort of stealth vehicle running on joyful intentions with wicked time constraints. Here’s my thus far pictures to prove that we’re moving right along through the season. And my story is that this Christmas, I was more proactive than ever before so that I can be more present when those wrapped presents are being torn asunder.         Enjoy your Holiday Happenings wherever and whoever you...

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The Minutia of Christmas

Posted by on Dec 18, 2017 in Daily Shalagh, Gathering My Lessons, Keeping House and Mind Alligned, Little Guy Lessons, Raising Fair Fiona | 7 comments

The Minutia of Christmas

( From December 2014 ) The sound was a thwap and a roll, hollow plastic bouncing and traveling across the floor. My new Christmas tree balls were this moment’s entertainment. The “ball balls” were being extracted from their big clear box and thrown while I hurried to put my laundry away. Although that’s exactly why I bought those, I underestimated the little monkey’s reasoning skills. Every day is jam-packed with holiday fun. Not unlike any other day in my life, I’ve been cramming the carrying out of Christmas details...

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Does “Self-respecting” Describe the Parent and Self-parent You Are?

Posted by on Nov 15, 2017 in Daily Shalagh, Gathering My Lessons, Little Guy Lessons, Raising Fair Fiona, The Good Mother | 0 comments

Does “Self-respecting” Describe the Parent and Self-parent You Are?

My daughter is just starting elementary school now in Pre-K. I am again besieged by notifications and permission slips galore just like back when Eamon was in Kindergarten and there was “homework”. See my recent repost of my piece Kindergarten Homework here. All sorts of good intentions being bantered back and forth between educator and parent about how to best raise/educate our kids. Within a hunk of papers distributed by the school this week, a subscription newsletter from a parents-institute, I read this headline: “Parents Must...

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Be Willing To Let Life Teach Them

Posted by on Aug 18, 2017 in Ahas, Daily Shalagh, Gathering My Lessons, Little Guy Lessons, Raising Fair Fiona, The Good Mother | 0 comments

Be Willing To Let Life Teach Them

As parents, we have a lot of damage control to manage. We expect that our children will be teased so we try to give them un-teasable names. We imagine they’ll be injured by the coffee table so we choose to have a round coffee table. We see the food struggle coming and so we make their meal choices simple so they’ll eat. But for all our parental controlling, do we consider the benefits of seeing the disasters and circumstances through to their not so perfect endings? Because there’s a lot to be learned by this practice...

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25 Year-Old Crazy Brain

Posted by on Aug 7, 2017 in Ahas, Daily Shalagh, Gathering My Lessons, Housewifery, Raising Fair Fiona, The Good Mother | 0 comments

25 Year-Old Crazy Brain

At our dinner party the other night I asked my friends what it was that they remembered having the crazy notion to do and suddenly doing at the age of 25? Three of us said we had gotten married. Because I have noticed recently that there’s definitely a switch that gets thrown developmentally in a 25 year-old and it’s a kind of crazy entitlement switch. As in “I’m a grown-up now and I can do all of those things I want to and you’ve told me not to do. All those things that society would frown upon because it’s my...

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