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The Good Mother

As a mother, we strive to be “good”, to do our best. You always need a goal. Sometimes you reach it and sometimes you’re left feeling the weight of a job not well done. And then you start all over again.

I have a boy and a girl, 8 years apart. I am 47 years old. And these are my stories.

Navigating the World’s Shoulds

Posted by on Dec 7, 2018 in Daily Shalagh, Midlife Motherhood, Self-Discovery, Wisdom Lessons | 2 comments

Navigating the World’s Shoulds

So many shoulds coming at us daily. Other people’s recipes for our lives flooding our heads. The shoulds of womanhood, motherhood, parenthood, successful people, healthy people, and intelligent people. Of good daughters and good citizens and good Christians. Oh you know what the shoulds sound like. I should have a clean house, a balanced diet, and spiritual practice. I should have polite children, a health insurance plan, and an IRA account. Everywhere I turn, there is some spoken, or unspoken rule that tells me what I should be, say,...

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Hail to the Hearth Keepers

Posted by on Nov 23, 2018 in Daily Shalagh, Family, Nestmaker | 3 comments

Hail to the Hearth Keepers

Our home fires are both necessary and symbolic. Religious mythology include kitchen hearths and their keepers because the hearth is the place where life and family begins and ends. Heat and life begin within the womb and warmth of the family. And I have always known that my job is to tend that warm place. I love making fires. I saw an Indian gentleman show the true way to make fire out of forest fodder and I swore I would do that too. What a skill to have. And then I had Fiona instead. She is our “fuego rojo”, a fiery red-headed daughter....

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My Body Myself

Posted by on Nov 7, 2018 in Ahas, Daily Shalagh, Health and Body Wellness, Wisdom Lessons | 2 comments

My Body Myself

I had a not so nice moment with my body in a dressing room recently. I said in this Instagram post, “I went shopping today. Put my body in front of mirrors. It was quite soul crushing. I’m reeling with the hangover of my 52-year-old body.” This mental place of self-hatred is a familiar abode for me. I’ve spent more time in my life disliking my body than liking it. Gladly, I bought clothing afterwards that I liked the way it fit and looked on my body. And that was what I packed for my vacation. I did more shopping while...

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Belonging to Myself

Posted by on Oct 31, 2018 in Little Guy Lessons, Midlife Motherhood, Raising Fair Fiona, Self-Discovery, Wisdom Lessons | 0 comments

Belonging to Myself

I feel unqualified to be an adult. Like someone didn’t give me the manual and the rule book. And I’ll be found out. I was raised to need someone else to give me a sense of belonging. It would seem my kryptonite is my own independence. This is the story I am discovering and hoping to rewrite. And may well be the story of many women who feel their purpose of existence is to serve others. But I have found that not belonging to myself causes me great grief. A sense of being untethered and ungrounded. Not belonging to you means that...

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You May Have Forgotten But You Are Still in Charge

Posted by on Oct 29, 2018 in Daily Shalagh, Midlife Motherhood, Self-Discovery, Wisdom Lessons | 0 comments

You May Have Forgotten But You Are Still in Charge

You, Yes, you are in charge of your life. I am adamant about stating that your life is for you to plan. Even if you choose to do what others suggest you do, it’s always been your final choice to make. You are in charge of your own life plus the lives of your small ones. And for the most part, this in charge status also extends to your family’s way of living. You are probably steering your family boat as a Mama. Without this understanding, other people think they’re in charge of you. The kid in the Target who is melting down...

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Value the Heck out of Our Good Educators

Posted by on Oct 5, 2018 in Creative Soul Living, Little Guy Lessons, Midlife Motherhood, Son Shine | 0 comments

Value the Heck out of Our Good Educators

We have our kid enrolled in a public school. He’s a super smart kid, scores ridiculously high on those school standardized tests, and we’d absolutely go into debt to pay for a private school if it was the right thing. But he’s a musician and the music program at his school is marvelous. The reason the school’s music program is so very good is because of one teacher. One amazing dedicated inspirational teacher. He’s the guy who was a music nerd in school just like my kid. He’s turned Eamon and his classmates...

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With No Definition of Success Or Enough, You’re a Hamster on a Wheel

Posted by on Sep 7, 2018 in Ahas, Daily Shalagh, Family, Self-Discovery, Wisdom Lessons | 4 comments

With No Definition of Success Or Enough, You’re a Hamster on a Wheel

I once read that you won’t know if you have succeeded if you don’t have a picture of what success looks like. I found that profound and daunting as I wasn’t allowed to succeed so I’d be unable to come up with that. I can also see now that having no definition of enough would wear one out in a never-ending pursuit of it. The proverbial hamster’s treadmill of running and never getting there. Yet aren’t these two words the hinge pin for American success? They used to call me the Energizer Bunny because I was...

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Pitching the “When I Lose Weight” Clothing

Posted by on Jul 11, 2018 in Ahas, Daily Shalagh, Health and Body Wellness, Wisdom Lessons | 7 comments

Pitching the “When I Lose Weight” Clothing

I am still engaged in a lifelong battle against my own body. A perpetual hostage of “when I lose weight”. Most of the past three decades has been spent judging my physical self as under par and trying to fix it (This may also have applied to how I felt about my mind too but we’ll stick to the injustice at hand …and belly and… ). I have been in a perpetual battle of disgust with myself and I am so very tired now. I’d like to call a cease fire. There is no fix for this fixed fight and I will always lose....

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Summer 2018 Continues

Posted by on Jul 10, 2018 in Daily Shalagh, Family | 0 comments

Summer 2018 Continues

Summer 2018 is rolling out in a leisurely fashion. It started out at a run when we went straight to the beach the weekend after school let out. But that ended up being a great thing for all of us to be put into the official Summer mode. I’ve allowed myself to sleep or lay in bed in the mornings knowing there was no rush to do anything. I have kept up with dual art challenges which forces me to take a break and be creative. I had a great time just being outside in the beautiful weather we’ve had recently. And generally, it feels...

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They Do As They See

Posted by on Jul 4, 2018 in Ahas, Daily Shalagh, Midlife Motherhood, Raising Fair Fiona | 0 comments

They Do As They See

We all mean well as parents. Well most of us. We mess up trying to overcompensate for the advantages we didn’t have as children. We spoil them and we coddle them when all they really need is our undivided attention and our faith in them. But the one thing many of us seem to overlook is that how we treat ourselves shows them how to treat themselves. And that is only a good story if we are good to ourselves. There is a woman at the exercise gym I belong to who teaches several fitness classes. And her hyper self-loathing comes out when she...

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