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The Good Mother

As a mother, we strive to be “good”, to do our best. You always need a goal. Sometimes you reach it and sometimes you’re left feeling the weight of a job not well done. And then you start all over again.

I have a boy and a girl, 8 years apart. I am 47 years old. And these are my stories.

I Refuse to Feel Ashamed

Posted by on Jan 15, 2020 in Health and Body Wellness, Midlife Motherhood, Self-Discovery | 0 comments

I Refuse to Feel Ashamed

I spent all last year in an “unhappy with my body” place. I could not accept that I had gained back weight I had previously lost, even though I had given myself permission to eat with gleeful abandon for the Holidays prior. And so I struggled with my esteem, my exercise routine, and my eating and drinking all through the year. But mostly, I silently hated myself for no longer fitting into my clothing and having to buy a new wardrobe of leggings and over-sized shirts. This year, I chose to give myself the same permission during the...

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Holidays without Anxieties Update

Posted by on Dec 23, 2019 in Daily Shalagh, Midlife Motherhood, Self-Discovery, Wisdom Lessons | 2 comments

Holidays without Anxieties Update

We’re in full holiday swing now and the mood is different than ever before. Because I’m different. Backstage at the Nutcracker night, I told the other mothers that I had been an ever-loving mess last year but I’m medicated this year. They laughed but this is my truth; I am a different person this year. Helping myself out of the perpetual swirling vortex of anxiety is allowing me to be present for myself, for my family, and also for others who can choose this for themselves. As my friend Siri on Instagram chimed in to say it...

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Another Day, Another Sinus Infection

Posted by on Dec 20, 2019 in Daily Shalagh, Health and Body Wellness, Midlife Motherhood | 2 comments

Another Day, Another Sinus Infection

I have what is termed chronic sinusitis. A have a whopping good amount of allergies. When that got added to an undiagnosed deviated septum which only got operated on not two years ago,  I suffered numerous sinus infections in a year. When it’s really bad, it feels like I have dirt packed into my forehead. And I can hear the little bacterium multiplying as a clicking noise in my face. Years later, I’m receiving weekly allergy shots and, even though I get way less infections in a year, I always feel a little scared when I get one...

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Are You a Noun or a Verb?

Posted by on Nov 4, 2019 in Creative Soul Living, Daily Shalagh, Midlife Motherhood, Self-Discovery | 0 comments

Are You a Noun or a Verb?

If I had to tell you what I would do when I grew up, I’d say “I’m going to be a Momma. I’m going to be an Artist. I’m going to be a Writer. And I’ll expect all of those things of myself that go along with being the best Momma Artist Writer that you think I can be. I mean I think I can be.” Who gets to decide if you are what you say you are? Are you legitimate only when someone says you are, gives you a certificate or a diploma or an award? Because if the answer is anyone other than you deeming you legitimate,...

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The Invisible Duties of Mothers

Posted by on Nov 1, 2019 in Creative Soul Living, Midlife Motherhood, Raising Fair Fiona, Wisdom Lessons | 0 comments

The Invisible Duties of Mothers

I often have people remark that they see me doing a lot and they are impressed and/or shocked at how much I seem to get done. I wonder if they don’t recognize how much they accomplish too. And then recently it became clear that women often have many invisible life duties that add up to way more than an 8 hour day. I feel like we women are often dutiful and humble, we just see what we do as necessary and move on. Yet there are so many tasks without which life would be uncivil and unkept. Besides the homekeeping, laundry, and meal...

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Do You Belong to the Cult of Zen Okayness?

Posted by on Oct 30, 2019 in Creative Soul Living, Daily Shalagh, Keeping House and Mind Aligned, Midlife Motherhood, Self-Discovery, Wisdom Lessons | 0 comments

Do You Belong to the Cult of Zen Okayness?

I had heard rumors about the Cult of Perfect on the internet. And although I have stayed away from much of the perfecty picture world, there is definitely a cult of Okayness that exists. Women posting about how zen their lives, clutching their cupfuls of okayness while they practice mindfulness and home school their children. While I aspire for the zen okayness, and no, homeschooling isn’t for me, I can’t help but sense that the perpetual claiming of this smacks of a Lady Macbeth flavored lack of achievement. If I keep claiming...

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Are Expectations for Your Children a Good or Bad Thing?

Posted by on Oct 25, 2019 in Ahas, Daily Shalagh, Midlife Motherhood | 0 comments

Are Expectations for Your Children a Good or Bad Thing?

As a parent, there are so many expectations we have of how our children are “supposed to” develop. Milestones that we expect them to reach by a certain age and if they don’t, we question,”Is there something wrong with them?” Society has thrown many markers at us parents for what “normal” child development should look like. And it messes the parenting process up all to heck. When my son was two, he wasn’t speaking yet. The in-laws were worried he may be autistic. I knew he was just developing his physical skills first. But my...

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Occupying Your Body

Posted by on Oct 14, 2019 in Health and Body Wellness, Midlife Motherhood | 0 comments

Occupying Your Body

Having gone to every doctor to have every pain checked out, I finally was comfortable with reengaging in some true working out at the YMCA. I have been taking a weight-lifting class to tone up my belly as well as my upper body. And I have noticed an interesting shift in how I feel inside my body. When I stopped running and was going through getting my aches taken care of, the pains made me scared. I feared what it meant or how bad it was, and that sort of thing makes you avoid doing things that would cause any more pain. Problem with that is...

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Testing, Testing, is this Parent On ?

Posted by on Sep 11, 2019 in Daily Shalagh, Little Guy Lessons, Midlife Motherhood, Raising Fair Fiona | 4 comments

Testing, Testing, is this Parent On ?

This first week of school is notoriously rough for our youngest. There are new teachers, new routines, and new buses to acquaint themselves with. And I fully expect our train to derail somewhere in the middle of back to school week. I was slightly mistaken in that there weren’t as many neurotic breakdowns and a crying fits. But the weekend brought me the brunt of the week with not so fab behavioral choices. The tall one was seemingly good until we found he’d smuggled his phone up to his room for late night phone poking and gaming...

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Oh Universe, What Would You Have Me Do?

Posted by on Sep 9, 2019 in Ahas, Community, Daily Shalagh, Essayist, Health and Body Wellness, Random, Wisdom Lessons | 2 comments

Oh Universe, What Would You Have Me Do?

We mistrust ourselves so much, we have to hand much of our decision making over to another power. We create elaborate ways to make decisions. Drop a divining line down and see which way it swings to decide (dowsing pendulum). Pick your arm up and drop it to see if you should eat it (applied kinesiology). Because it’s awfully hard admitting that you have no faith in your own decisions and easier to give it over to something else. The exception being God. But most of us are faithless and frenetic. The Drowning man story is the best story...

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