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The Good Mother

As a mother, we strive to be “good”, to do our best. You always need a goal. Sometimes you reach it and sometimes you’re left feeling the weight of a job not well done. And then you start all over again.

I have a boy and a girl, 8 years apart. I am 47 years old. And these are my stories.

Raising Children with an Abundant Mindset

Posted by on Apr 27, 2021 in Daily Shalagh, Midlife Motherhood | 0 comments

Raising Children with an Abundant Mindset

“You see the world with what you carry in your heart.” “People who were raised on love see the world differently than those who see the world from survival.” It has occurred to me that I was raised with a crushing sense of scarcity. A historical hangover from generations of struggle, oppression, and depression. I believed that I would never have enough and that I was not enough. And this is still a mindset I battle daily. But I felt relieved recently knowing that I am not raising my children with this same scarcity mindset. They have enough....

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Chosen and Unchosen Changes

Posted by on Mar 30, 2021 in Ahas, Family, Homebody | 0 comments

Chosen and Unchosen Changes

I’ve noticed how I feel differently about my life as we pass the one year anniversary of the beginning of the pandemic of 2020. I feel a lot calmer. How did that happen? Because changes happened, both by choice and by time. I found myself saying no to a string of requests for my time recently. While I made this choice to say no, it has been the time I have spent not doing much of what I used to do that showed me that this is the way I really want to live. I don’t want to rush around anymore feeling overwhelmed with obligations and...

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I Have a Hard Time Believing

Posted by on Mar 19, 2021 in Creative Soul Living, Health and Body Wellness, Self-Discovery | 2 comments

I Have a Hard Time Believing

I have a hard time believing. Raised by anxious agnostics with low self-esteem and a Depression mindset of scarcity who betrayed me, I have a hard time believing. In January, I started a dietary and awareness adjustment program called Noom. It’s a great program because it comes from a psychological perspective, which I love. The first question they ask and want you to answer “yes” to is, “Do you believe you can lose this weight?”. When I read that question last November, I knew I would change nothing during the holidays. But in January,...

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Change Nothing and Nothing Changes

Posted by on Mar 2, 2021 in Creative Soul Living, Health and Body Wellness, Self-Discovery | 2 comments

Change Nothing and Nothing Changes

What did you choose to do this morning. Your morning routing, is it set as something you just do without thinking? Do you like it or do you sometimes wish there was change. What about your evenings? Are you a person who stays up or sleeps? Do you eat crap at nighttime and wish you didn’t? Do you intentionally talk to loved ones, exercise, drink water, or read daily? How much of what each of us does is rote habit? Wasn’t a habit once a choice that you repeated? And if this is true, what could you change in your life that would make...

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What Do You Do All Day Mommy?

Posted by on Feb 26, 2021 in Family, Homebody, Midlife Motherhood, Raising Fair Fiona | 0 comments

What Do You Do All Day Mommy?

She asked me this question when we were waiting in the car rider drop-off line at school. What do I do all day? I told her that I was going to exercise and that when I get home I have to do household chores and writing. And then come back and pick her up at 2:30. That’s 5 ½ hours to do as much as I can. She said that sounded like a lot, bless her heart. Because my work does not compensate me, it may seem less worthy than someone earning a paycheck in a “real” job. But what I can tell you is that you couldn’t pay me enough for the...

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How Do We Begin to Consider Ourselves Heroes ?

Posted by on Feb 19, 2021 in Family, Midlife Motherhood, Wisdom Lessons | 0 comments

How Do We Begin to Consider Ourselves Heroes ?

I was doing the dishes this morning and it struck me that any woman that gives herself credit for her thoughts and talents is my hero. I have struggled for so long with not only figuring out what I think, but then owning those thoughts out loud. The weight of knowing yourself in and of itself, seems so heavy. Perfectionism is just another form of the fear of being seen. My daughter is currently experiencing this with math. She’s exclaiming her lack of competency and breaks down in tears if she gets things wrong. I think, where is this...

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Sharing Our Space and Our Lives

Posted by on Dec 11, 2020 in Creative Soul Living, Homebody, Midlife Motherhood | 0 comments

Sharing Our Space and Our Lives

I had a birthday visit from my oldest today. She’s a surrogate daughter, an adopted sister soul to our family. And she spoke of feeling that need to have a nesting partner. That next chapter where you feel the need to share your space with someone and your DNA with the world. I have always been a nester. And there was no one worthy of doing this with me until I met my husband. I knew he’d value the fathering job as much as I honored the idea of mothering. But Boy Howdee, sharing constant space with these mooks for nearly a year...

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Moments of Profundity

Posted by on Dec 8, 2020 in Family, Midlife Motherhood, Random | 1 comment

Moments of Profundity

I tried to sit with my thoughts today. To write. To extract some sort of profound truth from my day. And my brain said “sploop”. Moments of profundity sometimes won’t show up on demand betwixt days and days of 7 year old daughter harassment and 15 year old son idiocy. So be it. It may be enough that I breath today. And that’s OK. Happy Monday and I wish you profound moments in the coming week. I find life is a little more fun with profundity. Interested in reading my future ponderings on Creative Soul Living?Subscribe, via the...

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Our Parents and Ourselves

Posted by on Nov 20, 2020 in Daily Shalagh, Family | 2 comments

Our Parents and Ourselves

Anne Lamott said “Write as if your parents are dead.” In an attempt to save people from your truth, you censor yourself from writing about your pain. This pain has made you you and may have been caused by them. And this mutes your most important story. And now Their Shames have become yours. You were made complicit to their crimes against themselves and to you. If you tell, you’ll be bad. Ungrateful. Naughty. She added, this, “Remember that you own what happened to you. If your childhood was less than ideal, you may have been raised...

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The Next Right Thing But Quicker

Posted by on Nov 17, 2020 in Family, Midlife Motherhood | 2 comments

The Next Right Thing But Quicker

I’m still struggling with how to do the next rightest thing by my Mom. She’s been out of the hospital for a month. Progress is slow and on her terms. She shrieks and grouses when I attempt to move on to places she’s afraid of. The layers of neglect and chaos are so deep. When you speak with her, all of that is invisible. But I know. Let’s get real. Holidays are coming. I am the holiday maker, tree decorator, present purchaser, and stocking overlord. That special event is exhausting enough. And I’m about to do a...

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