Housewifery
“Practicing the Art and Mystery of Housewifery”
We took a trip to Williamsburg, Virginia in the summer of 2012. Standing in the hot kitchen building where the cooking hearth fire had just been extinguished, the living historian explained the duties of the woman of this house in the 1700s. She oversaw all the domestic activities and practiced the art and mystery of housewifery. I asked him to repeat that. He repeated this and added, you didn’t want everyone to know all your secrets. I am, however, willing and glad to share mine here.
My definition of Housewifery encompasses mothering, housekeeping, gardening, and cooking. And includes decorating, diapering, and ridding my house of squirrels.
Click On These For The Stories
On ‘The Good Mother’
Or read ‘Mommy’s Thought Thoughts’
On ‘Raising Fair Fiona’
Or read ‘Oopsie Daisy Mommy
On ‘Son Shine’
Or read ‘Ready or Not, Here’s Mommy’
On ‘My Joy of Cooking’
Or read ‘Beautiful Buttermilk’
On ‘How Does My Garden Grow’
Or read ‘My Brown Thumb’
On ‘To Clean or Not to Clean’
Or read ‘New Year’s Urge’
They Do As They See
We all mean well as parents. Well most of us. We mess up trying to overcompensate for the advantages we didn’t have as children. We spoil them and we coddle them when all they really need is our undivided attention and our faith in them. But the one thing many of us seem to overlook is that how we treat ourselves shows them how to treat themselves. And that is only a good story if we are good to ourselves. There is a woman at the exercise gym I belong to who teaches several fitness classes. And her hyper self-loathing comes out when she...
read moreFear’s Worst Casualty is Hope
Today was a breakthrough day for me. A gorgeous June day with a breeze that lifted your spirit upwards. So I went out to the backyard and I gardened. Not a big deal to anyone else but a huge deal to me. I haven’t allowed myself to garden in a long time. And this decision has just left me feeling hopeless. For years. The cause has been so many things, but mostly, I gave up. Fear of not doing it well enough or not having the talent, time, money, or whatever other lie fear will tell you and “see ya’ later” soul gratifying thing. I...
read moreMy Empty Box Method
When I had to shut my business down (See the post about Bally Eden) and bring the contents of my shop home, all my stuff ended up in boxes piled to the ceiling of the garage. I advertised a yard sale and set to work sorting through my stuff. And what I realized yet again, was that your plan needs an empty box or space to sort into. When you have one foot nailed to the ground, it’s an sign that you may need to open up a new space to sort and move you and your thoughts into. So I cleared a corner and placed empty boxes there and began. I...
read moreBeing on Purple : The Good Girl Control
At my daughter’s school, the children’s behavior is monitored daily by a stoplight inspired grading system. If you’ve behaved yourself , you get on a green status. If you received a warning, its yellow. And a bad choice will get you to red status and probably get you sent to a principal’s waiting room, or maybe that’s just what I remember. But the most insipid of all is the purple. Because that represents better than good behavior and it’s all my daughter seems to want. To be the good girl. When she’s...
read moreLoving Your Inner Daughter
About a month ago, my therapist and I were discussing the constant upset that my daughter seems to experience. And she stressed the fact that I needed to encourage my daughter to comfort herself. That knowing that you can be there for you and love yourself through to feeling better is the first step in empowering her and making sure she doesn’t seek out other methods of comfort for quelling the pain. When I discussed being there for yourself with my daughter, she referred to it as having a Body Buddy. That she came up with the phrase...
read moreA Few Thoughts On Mother’s Day
All-consuming, persistent, relentless, and unforgiving. Motherhood is 365 days per year of these and many more words, flattering and not. One day to recognize all of this feels cheesy. But then Christmas feels all too short to celebrate our oneness with Gratitude and salvation. We’ll be celebrating more Mother’s day next weekend as my husband had to work this weekend. And honestly, the kids are cute and smart but they’ll only take as much initiative as they’re told to when it comes to Mother recognition. So my thought...
read moreWhy Make the Effort?
When you don’t feel you are worth it, like the effort to go to the doctor or make those changes to your diet or get more education for a better paying job, why and who you are making the effort for may be your key to motivation. You don’t value yourself enough for the effort? So be it. But if you have children, their needs for your best You always trump everything. Your why is always your key to getting your life done. And if you have kids, they are a bigger why than we even realize. They are witnessing everything that we do and...
read moreBody Buddy
When my son was little, if I saw he was doing something that would hurt himself intentionally, I’d say, “Don’t hurt my friend”. I say this to my daughter as well.The idea being that I care about them as much as I would a friend seems to be not as obligatory but a choice to care about them. I love each as a buddy and friend and as children. The more I learn about self-care and self-trust, the more I know I need to teach my daughter how to self-soothe and be there for herself instead of looking for the comfort and acceptance outside...
read moreFiona’s Moana Themed 5th Birthday Party
We celebrated Fiona’s Fifth birthday with a Moana party theme. We’re still doing the parties old school with family and cousins to play with. And the Moana theme was truly a great excuse to reuse my fabulous palm trees over again from the Viva Havana fundraiser. I took a good long time to conceive of and create some of the details and touches that made it feel fun and tropical islandy. Had the palm trees but needed the tiki god idol pieces to fill out the corner cabinets. They’re painted on hunks of cardboard. The kokomora...
read moreEndure and Enjoy Like a Cat
I’m walking into the gym, anticipating the discomfort of exercising and the whine of my joints as muscles. And then I think about how it is what it is until it isn’t anymore. Just be in the moment like a cat. Cats have this now mentality. If they’re in pain they think, this really sucks. They just live life one need and one emotion at a time. And when they’re happy and tired, they’re happy and tired. Cat naps are their superpower because they are necessary. Knowing that you absolutely need to indulge in self-care...
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