Having My Butt Exposed

This was that week. The week when everything came to a head. When all my plans to be vulnerable, my butt exposed both mentally and physically, came to fruition. I sat back for a few days to digest the events, see if the results I had hoped for were achieved. Was all the risk and pain worth it?

Yes.

I put my original creative thoughts about the connection between intentional creativity and the reduction of anxiety down onto paper and read them aloud. Was my presentation delivered well? Not necessarily. But I released a thought that I believe in out into the world. And for this risk of vulnerability, I am extremely proud. You have to start even if it isn’t pretty.

I also literally had my butt out in a drafty operating room receiving multiple injections to cauterize the nerves in my SI joint and cease the pain that plagues me. There were probably six people in that room. None of them cared that my large fish belly white butt was exposed. They were there for their own knowledge and competency.

But when it was all over, I had the opportunity to have lunch with my husband and be in one of my favorite places in my hometown of Baltimore. Fells Point has changed and yet it still holds this Dickensian charm of an old world industrial city port and I felt satisfied, physically and mentally.

I foresaw my fears and did it all anyway. I looked to the future and knew that, without these risks to be vulnerable, I’d never truly be happy. I’d just be guarding against the pain. And that is not how I want to live. So I risk the pain of vulnerability and surround myself with my people cheering me on. And it feels more real than ever before.

Thank you for your support through all of these trials. My hopes are that you are encouraged to be vulnerable and courageous in your own lives. That I can help to foster your own self-trust and pride. And we can keep being visible together.

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And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.