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Used To Be

My Empty Box Method

Posted by on Jun 18, 2018 in Ahas, Daily Shalagh, Gathering My Lessons, Keeping House and Mind Alligned, Used To Be | 0 comments

My Empty Box Method

When I had to shut my business down (See the post about Bally Eden) and bring the contents of my shop home, all my stuff ended up in boxes piled to the ceiling of the garage. I advertised a yard sale and set to work sorting through my stuff. And what I realized yet again, was that your plan needs an empty box or space to sort into. When you have one foot nailed to the ground, it’s an sign that you may need to open up a new space to sort and move you and your thoughts into. So I cleared a corner and placed empty boxes there and began. I...

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Is It Harder to Give Up on You or Give You a Chance?

Posted by on May 16, 2018 in Daily Shalagh, Gathering My Lessons, Self-Discovery, Used To Be | 0 comments

Is It Harder to Give Up on You or Give You a Chance?

At any given moment, we have at least these two choices : we can set to work on the tasks we see ourselves in need of accomplishing to get to where we think we want to go. Or we can give up on ourselves and decide the effort is not worth it. Or we’re not worth the effort. When you don’t feel worthy of the effort, you live a lifetime of giving up. I asked myself, what is more difficult, giving up or giving yourself a chance? You’d think that working toward something , be it a better life or self-esteem or relationship with...

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Edit Your Story and Persist with Faith Like Cinderella

Posted by on Apr 23, 2018 in Ahas, Daily Shalagh, Gathering My Lessons, Self-Discovery, The Soapbox, Used To Be | 2 comments

Edit Your Story and Persist with Faith Like Cinderella

The story that is our life, up to a certain point, is written and told by others. We do not choose our parents or where we are born or the social status we are born into. Nor do we have control over who keeps us alive and what they teach us as littles. Our lives are a given in many ways and at least we can be grateful for our chance to exist. But then the story becomes ours to tell.  Cinderella was loved and wanted when she was born. But bad things can happen to nice people. And the reverse is also true. We can be born into chaos and find a...

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On Thought Leadership and Cyber Love

Posted by on Feb 5, 2018 in Daily Shalagh, The Soapbox, Used To Be | 0 comments

On Thought Leadership and Cyber Love

I fell down a cyber hole the other day and landed on an article written by a gentleman named Paul Jarvis, about how you can become a thought leader by just declaring yourself one. If you say you are, you are. Those who say it better can charge more. I was a little like “Well Yeah” and a little like “Oh No”. Because I’ve been thinking that I might actually consider myself a thought leader one day if I ever wrangled my thoughts in a comprehensive way to put them out there for people. I detest how the charm of the internet also seems so...

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Kindergarten Homework

Posted by on Nov 13, 2017 in Daily Shalagh, Essayist, Gathering My Lessons, Little Guy Lessons, Son Shine, Used To Be | 0 comments

Kindergarten Homework

With our enthusiastic “Go get’em” faces on, we waved our son onto the number 14 bus bound for Kindergarten. Maybe September allergies made my husband’s eyes water or maybe it was his relief that our child survived being stuck at home with me for the past 5 years. I contained my giddiness as I snapped that fateful picture of him waving back from the bus steps. We were each about to learn what going to school and developing new systems meant to us. The little guy loved school. Early in the year, I paid a visit to him and his 17 pint-sized...

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A Choice Between Perfectionism Or Doing Your Best

Posted by on Nov 6, 2017 in Ahas, Daily Shalagh, Gathering My Lessons, Used To Be | 0 comments

A Choice Between Perfectionism Or Doing Your Best

I have recently felt an internal shift from all-out perfectionism to just trying for my best. “Doing” used to essentially be how I valued myself. I was a human doing. And there was never enough doing I could do to fulfill the undefined expectations I had about being done. Fear and perfection were my guidelines for living. Industrial Over-focused was my coping mechanism for the fear. I was a human doing. As I peeled back layer upon layer, I ousted the lies that were my fears and began to understand that in the grander scheme of...

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Opinions, Entitlement, and the Value of Your Voice

Posted by on Mar 29, 2017 in Ahas, Daily Shalagh, Gathering My Lessons, Raising Fair Fiona, The Good Mother, Used To Be | 0 comments

Opinions, Entitlement, and the Value of Your Voice

Opinions are like noses, we all have them. But are we entitled and allowed to have them? If I find it hard to find a voice to express them, I may not feel I’m allowed to have an opinion in the first place. As a woman, it can prove tough not to judge myself for what I have to say as necessary or valid as I’m considering actually saying it. Then I may choose to keep quiet. I have my own internal bouncer at the thought door checking the validity, wittiness, or profundity of my outgoing thoughts and opinions. And often, they’re...

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The Hurry and The Hush

Posted by on Dec 7, 2016 in Ahas, Daily Shalagh, Gathering My Lessons, Used To Be | 4 comments

The Hurry and The Hush

I am a recovering Energizer Bunny. I’ve been called that, yes. My therapist referred to this “life coping technique” as Industrious Over-focused. I’m getting it all done, covering all my bases in a hurry just in case I need to prove why I’m worthy of keeping around I suppose. The Perfect Holiday is an easy trap to fall into for people who have my affliction. Do it all and you WIN. But unless you have a talent for military maneuvering and a team of Martha Stewarts, plus a degree in time management, it’s a big jolly...

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The Election Hangover

Posted by on Nov 11, 2016 in Ahas, Daily Shalagh, Gathering My Lessons, Used To Be | 3 comments

The Election Hangover

I was pregnant with Eamon and had opened a little gift shop when the 2004 election re-elected George W. Bush as president for another term. My husband and I were grief-stricken.  And we talked of what was to be done and would we consider moving. And then we had our baby. What I remember from that experience is that eventually, after the drama died down, my life didn’t change all that much. I still woke up, had my cup of coffee with cream and sugar, and knew I could hop in my car and go to any drive through for the fast food of my...

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Flashes of Home : My Past and Future are Now

Posted by on Oct 26, 2016 in Ahas, Daily Shalagh, Gathering My Lessons, Housewifery, Used To Be | 2 comments

Flashes of Home : My Past and Future are Now

I keep getting flashes of my home as a child. They’re not infused with any specific memory but they feel significant. Like they’re guideposts to a thing that I’m doing now. I think my heart and brain are building a bridge to a place called Home. And that place is inside me. From the fabulous movie Garden State: Andrew Largeman: You know that point in your life when you realize the house you grew up in isn’t really your home anymore? All of a sudden even though you have some place where you put your shit, that idea of...

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