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Gathering My Lessons

I am constantly learning from my life. Someone special to me said that I could glean a lesson even from a recipe.

Which is what I did in my post, When The Recipes Must Go.

I call them Ahas. I can also stand on a Soapbox every once in a while.

And I learn some pretty big stuff from some little people in my life. The good and the bad and

the happy and the sad. My friendships are very important to me. The past holds some wisdom yet to be learned.

And my husband’s lessons are occasionally shared by his voice here. I may repeat myself, but guaranteed,

I’ll get you to think about life just a little differently.

Craving the Shift

Posted by on Apr 10, 2017 in Ahas, Gathering My Lessons | 1 comment

Craving the Shift

Oh how I crave the shift. I want to see my world as all possibilities, untangled with preconceived can’ts. I want to see my children as cherubs and my career as chosen, doable, and successful. To come home to my body and my house and see them for the fabulousness they contain. And each day passes by me as I await the shift. From the wickedly talented recently deceased (ovarian cancer at my age) memoirist and author Amy Krause Rosenthal via her book Encyclopedia of an Ordinary Life, “RETURNING TO LIFE AFTER BEING DEAD When I am...

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The Value of Doing and Seeing Things Differently

Posted by on Apr 7, 2017 in Daily Shalagh, Gathering My Lessons | 2 comments

The Value of Doing and Seeing Things Differently

There’s a woman I’m social media friends with who has chosen to engage in a year-long project she has named her Year of Doing Things Differently. When I asked her about this concept, she said she’d seen it in a book at the library. I like this concept a lot. I always say, “If you change nothing, nothing changes”. The phrase “doing things differently” is just another way of saying change but it sounds better somehow, more enticing. The problem is that our habits are so ingrained, they’re familiar and comfortable and we...

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Codependency

Posted by on Apr 5, 2017 in Blogging Along, Daily Shalagh, Gathering My Lessons | 0 comments

Codependency

Codependency is such a dirty word to say these days. I think most people have heard of it and my suspicion is that most people suffer to a degree from it. And like allergies and anxieties, most people also deny that. I can remember being in a therapy session when I was around 21 and feeling bad about something for my boyfriend. Like I had responsibility for having caused his feeling or I was trying to fix him (no surprise) and the therapist brought this to my attention. This was the first memory I can have of being aware that my tendency to...

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The Longing For Belonging

Posted by on Apr 3, 2017 in Ahas, Daily Shalagh, Gathering My Lessons | 0 comments

The Longing For Belonging

In response to my piece Know Ledge, about knowing what we need to know at all times, my friend asked, “Why do we feel so alone?” . And I knew exactly what she meant. I spent so very many years feeling grief over the loneliness I felt in my bones. And this is what I said to my friend, “That is the longing for belonging”. Deeper down, we truly wish to belong to ourselves. There is an immense difference between fitting in and belonging. I discovered this concept in Brene Brown’s book Daring Greatly and it made such sense out of so many...

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Anxieties and Allergies : You Probably Have Them Too

Posted by on Mar 31, 2017 in Ahas, Daily Shalagh, Gathering My Lessons | 2 comments

Anxieties and Allergies : You Probably Have Them Too

There are two things I’m certain the majority of the population is afflicted with and yet are in complete denial about. Anxieties and allergies. (Well there’s one more but I’m saving that for next week.} These two had me down and out both mentally and physically for many years with no help to ease the symptoms because I completely ignored them. You can’t get help for something your either sure you don’t have or haven’t been diagnosed with. In the case of my allergies, it took chronic sinus infections and me...

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Opinions, Entitlement, and the Value of Your Voice

Posted by on Mar 29, 2017 in Ahas, Daily Shalagh, Gathering My Lessons, Raising Fair Fiona, The Good Mother, Used To Be | 0 comments

Opinions, Entitlement, and the Value of Your Voice

Opinions are like noses, we all have them. But are we entitled and allowed to have them? If I find it hard to find a voice to express them, I may not feel I’m allowed to have an opinion in the first place. As a woman, it can prove tough not to judge myself for what I have to say as necessary or valid as I’m considering actually saying it. Then I may choose to keep quiet. I have my own internal bouncer at the thought door checking the validity, wittiness, or profundity of my outgoing thoughts and opinions. And often, they’re...

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Take the Time Now

Posted by on Mar 27, 2017 in Ahas, Daily Shalagh, Gathering My Lessons | 1 comment

Take the Time Now

How often do I look at my email, poke a few mail items gone, and then say I’ll come back and clear out the whole thing later. This happens 25 days out of the month and maybe once a month I actually read what’s in there, apply it where necessary, get the sparkly clean email box certificate for cleaning it, and start all over. But by this point, the cleaning out takes me staying up until midnight. My husband’s wall pocket over the desk has been an eyesore with overflowing undone filing until our taxes were done yesterday....

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Know Ledge

Posted by on Mar 24, 2017 in Ahas, Daily Shalagh, Gathering My Lessons | 0 comments

Know Ledge

It occurred to me that what I know is what I know. It is the sum of what I feel to be truthful. Worrying about what I don’t know takes me to a place of uncertainty and anxiety where I’m assuming what I don’t know can be used against me somehow. Perhaps that fear, the insatiable need to know to give me an upper hand is what feeds the news industry’s flame. I believe what I need to know will find me. But if I assume and trust that what I Know is enough for me and my life, then I end up on that Ledge. This would be the...

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My Forgotten Soul in My Writings

Posted by on Mar 22, 2017 in Ahas, Daily Shalagh, Gathering My Lessons | 6 comments

My Forgotten Soul in My Writings

I read blog post after blog post today. I was in search of ones that could illustrate my points for an upcoming big piece. And were these to be the story of someone I did not know, I may have cried for how beautiful the soul of the writer was. The rawness and gentle words of someone with knowledge that was won from grief and heartbreak. But they were my words so they didn’t have such an impact on me. Why is it so hard to truly see ourselves as others do? Perhaps an initial giddiness when we are falling in love and then back to the set...

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The Tenacious Beauty of Youth

Posted by on Mar 20, 2017 in Ahas, Daily Shalagh, Gathering My Lessons | 0 comments

The Tenacious Beauty of Youth

Before I actually called myself a writer, after the shut down of my shop, I was interviewing a woman writer about her decision to write and tenacity to seek work. She dumbfounded me when she told me she had friends who’d written a book in 9 days. Like some story of book creationism, the book had taken form and was born in a little over a week. Who knows if it was good but it was done. I couldn’t imagine that. I was in a therapy session referring to the gumption and authoritative airs of a twenty something I had found almost...

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