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Gathering My Lessons

I am constantly learning from my life. Someone special to me said that I could glean a lesson even from a recipe.

Which is what I did in my post, When The Recipes Must Go.

I call them Ahas. I can also stand on a Soapbox every once in a while.

And I learn some pretty big stuff from some little people in my life. The good and the bad and

the happy and the sad. My friendships are very important to me. The past holds some wisdom yet to be learned.

And my husband’s lessons are occasionally shared by his voice here. I may repeat myself, but guaranteed,

I’ll get you to think about life just a little differently.

My Empty Box Method

Posted by on Jun 18, 2018 in Ahas, Daily Shalagh, Gathering My Lessons, Keeping House and Mind Alligned, Used To Be | 0 comments

My Empty Box Method

When I had to shut my business down (See the post about Bally Eden) and bring the contents of my shop home, all my stuff ended up in boxes piled to the ceiling of the garage. I advertised a yard sale and set to work sorting through my stuff. And what I realized yet again, was that your plan needs an empty box or space to sort into. When you have one foot nailed to the ground, it’s an sign that you may need to open up a new space to sort and move you and your thoughts into. So I cleared a corner and placed empty boxes there and began. I...

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Being on Purple : The Good Girl Control

Posted by on Jun 13, 2018 in Daily Shalagh, Gathering My Lessons, Little Guy Lessons, Raising Fair Fiona, Self-Discovery, The Good Mother | 2 comments

Being on Purple : The Good Girl Control

At my daughter’s school, the children’s behavior is monitored daily by a stoplight inspired grading system. If you’ve behaved yourself , you get on a green status. If you received a warning, its yellow. And a bad choice will get you to red status and probably get you sent to a principal’s waiting room, or maybe that’s just what I remember. But the most insipid of all is the purple. Because that represents better than good behavior and it’s all my daughter seems to want. To be the good girl. When she’s...

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We Are Scared of Our Own Power to Choose

Posted by on Jun 11, 2018 in Ahas, Daily Shalagh, Gathering My Lessons | 0 comments

We Are Scared of Our Own Power to Choose

The most empowering and terrifying thought you can have is that it’s all up to you. You’re the master of your destiny, your own life chef, the navigator, the choice maker. And there’s just no other option. Sorry. Why are we so scared of our own power to choose? I spoke with some people the other day about the shift in the value and the validity of religion in people’s lives. Many people are wandering away from what they were raised with but when they find a new place, they may not stay long because they do not find the...

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One Thought On Hoarding and Chaos

Posted by on Jun 6, 2018 in Ahas, Daily Shalagh, Gathering My Lessons | 0 comments

One Thought On Hoarding and Chaos

I’ve been done knowing I need to write a declaration/manifesto about my passions to share with the world on the subjects of Establishing Self-trust by Indulging Creativity and Creativity and Motherhood. Yesterday, I sat down and slogged out a 500 word piece only to find, when I put it in a file with some other Manifestos I’d already written, I’d pretty much written this piece out twice before. And did a better job both times. Again, I stumble on my mental chaos. This chaos is most evident with all of my computer...

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It Was (Only) Emotional Abuse

Posted by on Jun 4, 2018 in Ahas, Daily Shalagh, Gathering My Lessons, Self-Discovery | 4 comments

It Was (Only) Emotional Abuse

I used to think that things weren’t as bad off in my first marriage as so many other scary marriages. I only suffered emotional abuse. Only. Until I realized that living with emotional abuse is not an Only. Maybe it was my way of coping or staying there by dumbing it down and trivializing it. But living inside the ugly bubble of anger and despair, bullying and cruelty was the darkest place I’ve ever lived. And those bruises on my soul? They were black and self-induced. Because I chose it. It was not Ok then and although I’m...

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Loving Your Inner Daughter

Posted by on Jun 1, 2018 in Ahas, Daily Shalagh, Gathering My Lessons, The Good Mother | 0 comments

Loving Your Inner Daughter

About a month ago, my therapist and I were discussing the constant upset that my daughter seems to experience. And she stressed the fact that I needed to encourage my daughter to comfort herself. That knowing that you can be there for you and love yourself through to feeling better is the first step in empowering her and making sure she doesn’t seek out other methods of comfort for quelling the pain. When I discussed being there for yourself with my daughter, she referred to it as having a Body Buddy. That she came up with the phrase...

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You May Have To Prove Who You Are…To Yourself

Posted by on May 25, 2018 in Daily Shalagh, Gathering My Lessons, Self-Discovery | 0 comments

You May Have To Prove Who You Are…To Yourself

Why does it always catch me off guard when people gush about how they read what I write and are inspired? Or see my art and tell me how talented I am? It catches me off guard because I am in the practice (actually pretty good at it) of disregarding myself. Like so many others, I undervalue my talents because after all, they are just something I do. But this is an injustice I am realizing I may have to right. As now I’m stuck in a purgatory of feeling over-appreciated by some and under-appreciated by myself. I may have to prove it to...

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How to Knock Fear off Your Brain Hill

Posted by on May 23, 2018 in Ahas, Daily Shalagh, Gathering My Lessons | 0 comments

How to Knock Fear off Your Brain Hill

If you’ve read anything on self-development and personal growth, you know that fear figures prominently in messing your life goals up. Fear takes on many shapes and feelings like anxiety and perfection and is mostly to blame for everything that messes with your life’s satisfaction. Fear knows everything you know and will ask you to not even acknowledge these truths but there it sits, king of your brain hill. Usually the first suggested exercises to work through and conquer your fears will be to name them. A series of questions...

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On Bossing Yourself Around

Posted by on May 21, 2018 in Ahas, Daily Shalagh, Friendship, Gathering My Lessons, Self-Discovery | 2 comments

On Bossing Yourself Around

Kids and big folks alike don’t want to be told what to do. At my house we jokingly say,”Because if you tell me to do it, I’m not gonna do it”. We quite openly use reverse psychology on our kids. “Hey Fiona, whatever you do, don’t go to the potty.” And off to the potty she goes. It works every time even though she knows exactly what we are up to. So bossing yourself can prove to be difficult as well. I think a lot of us never grow out of that punk attitude of not wanting to be told what to do. Besides making it hard to follow...

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Shadowy Places

Posted by on May 18, 2018 in Ahas, Daily Shalagh, Friendship, Gathering My Lessons | 0 comments

Shadowy Places

I had the pleasure of a private communication with a friend recently and thanked her for her forthrightness on the subject of over-drinking. I mentioned her and the piece she wrote about her own experience getting through to a new place with that anxiety driven behavior when she inspired me to look at my behavior and see how my assumptions about my life were no longer true. And now I don’t have to quell needless anxieties anymore. Or not as much perhaps. It struck me as significant when she said that many other of her connections had...

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