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Ahas

It’s Nice to be Nice to the Nice

Posted by on Nov 20, 2017 in Ahas, Daily Shalagh, Gathering My Lessons | 2 comments

It’s Nice to be Nice to the Nice

I was almost surprised at myself when I heard me say “Good job, you did great” inside my head. Because how often do I give myself compliments? Can’t remember. But I recognized recently that if you are not appreciating your own efforts, how can you be truly appreciative of others’ efforts. Being nice to you and others is truly the least we can do. So, I started to notice others’ efforts. I started to tell people what I was impressed with when they did their jobs, especially when that job affected my life and well-being. I...

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Feeling Your Pain Versus Being Your Pain

Posted by on Nov 10, 2017 in Ahas, Daily Shalagh, Gathering My Lessons | 4 comments

Feeling Your Pain Versus Being Your Pain

Since being a mother, I’ve had many “growth opportunities” to rethink how I express how I’m feeling about myself or my children. These are called AFGOs (another fabulous growth opportunity). Today, instead of yelling at and being impatient with my daughter for crying again for the umpteenth time about her pain which I perceived as nothing , I chose compassion instead. Honestly, I tend to shut her down sometimes in expressing her feelings because I’m not allowed to. I am often blindly uncompassionate for myself. And her pity...

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Hide and Seek : The Invisible Woman

Posted by on Nov 8, 2017 in Ahas, Blogging Along, Daily Shalagh, Gathering My Lessons | 0 comments

Hide and Seek : The Invisible Woman

The process of valuing myself and what I have to offer the world all comes down to visibility and on choosing whether to be seen or whether to stay the invisible woman. Fear of unspoken imagined horrors like public ostracization will keep us from coming out and being our truest selves. We’ll put on “I’m fine” shows for our perceived audience while all the while hoping no one gets wind that we are anything but fine. I am so guilty of that. I’ve written many times about how I felt I was invisible. I couldn’t see myself...

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A Choice Between Perfectionism Or Doing Your Best

Posted by on Nov 6, 2017 in Ahas, Daily Shalagh, Gathering My Lessons, Used To Be | 0 comments

A Choice Between Perfectionism Or Doing Your Best

I have recently felt an internal shift from all-out perfectionism to just trying for my best. “Doing” used to essentially be how I valued myself. I was a human doing. And there was never enough doing I could do to fulfill the undefined expectations I had about being done. Fear and perfection were my guidelines for living. Industrial Over-focused was my coping mechanism for the fear. I was a human doing. As I peeled back layer upon layer, I ousted the lies that were my fears and began to understand that in the grander scheme of...

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Breaking the Pattern of the Body Fix

Posted by on Nov 3, 2017 in Ahas, Daily Shalagh, Gathering My Lessons | 6 comments

Breaking the Pattern of the Body Fix

It’s a thing, this pattern of not enough, of body fix. I hate my bloated belly. I can’t lose the weight. Even when I did, it wasn’t enough. An addiction to self-hatred is what I say. The no compromise standards that keep us right on the other side of the fence of liking ourselves as who we are now. And I’m feeling a weird choked battle cry of “Enough” coming from deep inside. For a very long time, I have not gauged my worth by my body. My distended or pregnant or redundant colon bloated belly is not what other people...

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That I Matter is a Matter of Fact

Posted by on Nov 1, 2017 in Ahas, Daily Shalagh, Gathering My Lessons | 5 comments

That I Matter is a Matter of Fact

Such a search my life has been to find my form in the reflections I catch. I was invisible for so many years. And it occurred to me that we matter to our people as children and that makes us matter to ourselves. That our existence is a given and necessary to our family worlds as children to expand our confidence of purpose into the larger world. Except when that doesn’t happen. I struggled to pretend I mattered for a very long time. I had purpose in the survival of the struggle but I did not consider my existence important to the world....

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My Self-Discovery Journey : No Nicely Branded Box with Bow-like Promises

Posted by on Oct 30, 2017 in Ahas, Daily Shalagh, Gathering My Lessons | 0 comments

My Self-Discovery Journey : No Nicely Branded Box with Bow-like Promises

Like skydiving or deep-sea diving, this self-discovery adventure of myself, can feel like scary free-falling into the unknown. As I attempt to traverse the terrain of my inner world and muster the mindfulness that fuels this trip, I am developing a way better understanding of my humanity. And what you need to know about me is that I roll with the lessons, re-posting it “live” as it happens. Unlike a lot of online persons, I do not have it all wrapped up in a nicely branded box with bow-like promises of easy transformation. I only have the...

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My Fear of the Pain and Fearing the Pain Would Stay

Posted by on Oct 27, 2017 in Ahas, Daily Shalagh, Gathering My Lessons, The Soapbox | 2 comments

My Fear of the Pain and Fearing the Pain Would Stay

There was a lot of physical pain and fear taking up space in my house this year. Both me and my cat were experiencing our own pain and fear nightmares at the beginning of the Summer. And I’ve since really understood how the feeling of pain can manifest into a more fearful outlook on the world. And mess you up. This Summer was to be the Summer that I took care of myself. I swore in the beginning to follow through with all the procedures I needed to fix the problems with my SI joints and my sinuses as best I could. It took me all Summer...

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What Came From The True Self Prompt on My Soul Selfie Challenge

Posted by on Oct 13, 2017 in Ahas, Daily Shalagh, Gathering My Lessons | 0 comments

What Came From The True Self Prompt on My Soul Selfie Challenge

This week I’m in the midst of hosting my fourth Soul Selfie Challenge meant to spur and spark people to dig a little deeper and do some self-inquiry on what they believe about themselves or their lives or life in general. It’s about inner snapshots, not outer ones. We are looking to engage with each other and show a little of our true self. One of the hardest jobs hosting an Instagram challenge is to come up with prompt words that will inspire thoughtful responses. And where I have picked more specific words in the past that give...

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I Return to the Matter of Self-Value

Posted by on Oct 9, 2017 in Ahas, Daily Shalagh, Gathering My Lessons, Writing, writing | 0 comments

I Return to the Matter of Self-Value

I am always circling around to a question of my self-value. I stop short of setting goals or understanding my purpose for the simple fact that I do not understand my worth. I suspect I’m not alone in this either. So many women are waiting for permission to value themselves. I picked up a self-development book by Rhonda Britten called Change Your Life in 30 Days, in which one of the daily tasks is to list five acknowledgements of things I’ve accomplished. And this seems to be a good task for refueling the self-value tank. So often,...

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