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Gathering My Lessons

I am constantly learning from my life. Someone special to me said that I could glean a lesson even from a recipe.

Which is what I did in my post, When The Recipes Must Go.

I call them Ahas. I can also stand on a Soapbox every once in a while.

And I learn some pretty big stuff from some little people in my life. The good and the bad and

the happy and the sad. My friendships are very important to me. The past holds some wisdom yet to be learned.

And my husband’s lessons are occasionally shared by his voice here. I may repeat myself, but guaranteed,

I’ll get you to think about life just a little differently.

Creativism is Valuing Creative Living

Posted by on Nov 17, 2017 in Creative Projects, Daily Shalagh, Gathering My Lessons, Visual Me | 0 comments

Creativism is Valuing Creative Living

Often, as I’m engaged in one of my creative projects for my fellowship’s community like decorating the Christmas tree or the Sanctuary for a fundraiser, people exclaim,”Oh Shalagh, you are so creative.” If you were someone who said this, thank you. But  besides giving me a compliment, what I hear them saying is, “You can but I can’t”. And this infuriates me As children, we are free, and maybe even expected, to find out who we are and explore our understanding of the world and ourselves through creativity. But I’ve...

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Does “Self-respecting” Describe the Parent and Self-parent You Are?

Posted by on Nov 15, 2017 in Daily Shalagh, Gathering My Lessons, Little Guy Lessons, Raising Fair Fiona, The Good Mother | 0 comments

Does “Self-respecting” Describe the Parent and Self-parent You Are?

My daughter is just starting elementary school now in Pre-K. I am again besieged by notifications and permission slips galore just like back when Eamon was in Kindergarten and there was “homework”. See my recent repost of my piece Kindergarten Homework here. All sorts of good intentions being bantered back and forth between educator and parent about how to best raise/educate our kids. Within a hunk of papers distributed by the school this week, a subscription newsletter from a parents-institute, I read this headline: “Parents Must...

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Kindergarten Homework

Posted by on Nov 13, 2017 in Daily Shalagh, Essayist, Gathering My Lessons, Little Guy Lessons, Son Shine, Used To Be | 0 comments

Kindergarten Homework

With our enthusiastic “Go get’em” faces on, we waved our son onto the number 14 bus bound for Kindergarten. Maybe September allergies made my husband’s eyes water or maybe it was his relief that our child survived being stuck at home with me for the past 5 years. I contained my giddiness as I snapped that fateful picture of him waving back from the bus steps. We were each about to learn what going to school and developing new systems meant to us. The little guy loved school. Early in the year, I paid a visit to him and his 17 pint-sized...

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Feeling Your Pain Versus Being Your Pain

Posted by on Nov 10, 2017 in Ahas, Daily Shalagh, Gathering My Lessons | 4 comments

Feeling Your Pain Versus Being Your Pain

Since being a mother, I’ve had many “growth opportunities” to rethink how I express how I’m feeling about myself or my children. These are called AFGOs (another fabulous growth opportunity). Today, instead of yelling at and being impatient with my daughter for crying again for the umpteenth time about her pain which I perceived as nothing , I chose compassion instead. Honestly, I tend to shut her down sometimes in expressing her feelings because I’m not allowed to. I am often blindly uncompassionate for myself. And her pity...

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Hide and Seek : The Invisible Woman

Posted by on Nov 8, 2017 in Ahas, Blogging Along, Daily Shalagh, Gathering My Lessons | 0 comments

Hide and Seek : The Invisible Woman

The process of valuing myself and what I have to offer the world all comes down to visibility and on choosing whether to be seen or whether to stay the invisible woman. Fear of unspoken imagined horrors like public ostracization will keep us from coming out and being our truest selves. We’ll put on “I’m fine” shows for our perceived audience while all the while hoping no one gets wind that we are anything but fine. I am so guilty of that. I’ve written many times about how I felt I was invisible. I couldn’t see myself...

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A Choice Between Perfectionism Or Doing Your Best

Posted by on Nov 6, 2017 in Ahas, Daily Shalagh, Gathering My Lessons, Used To Be | 0 comments

A Choice Between Perfectionism Or Doing Your Best

I have recently felt an internal shift from all-out perfectionism to just trying for my best. “Doing” used to essentially be how I valued myself. I was a human doing. And there was never enough doing I could do to fulfill the undefined expectations I had about being done. Fear and perfection were my guidelines for living. Industrial Over-focused was my coping mechanism for the fear. I was a human doing. As I peeled back layer upon layer, I ousted the lies that were my fears and began to understand that in the grander scheme of...

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Breaking the Pattern of the Body Fix

Posted by on Nov 3, 2017 in Ahas, Daily Shalagh, Gathering My Lessons | 6 comments

Breaking the Pattern of the Body Fix

It’s a thing, this pattern of not enough, of body fix. I hate my bloated belly. I can’t lose the weight. Even when I did, it wasn’t enough. An addiction to self-hatred is what I say. The no compromise standards that keep us right on the other side of the fence of liking ourselves as who we are now. And I’m feeling a weird choked battle cry of “Enough” coming from deep inside. For a very long time, I have not gauged my worth by my body. My distended or pregnant or redundant colon bloated belly is not what other people...

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That I Matter is a Matter of Fact

Posted by on Nov 1, 2017 in Ahas, Daily Shalagh, Gathering My Lessons | 5 comments

That I Matter is a Matter of Fact

Such a search my life has been to find my form in the reflections I catch. I was invisible for so many years. And it occurred to me that we matter to our people as children and that makes us matter to ourselves. That our existence is a given and necessary to our family worlds as children to expand our confidence of purpose into the larger world. Except when that doesn’t happen. I struggled to pretend I mattered for a very long time. I had purpose in the survival of the struggle but I did not consider my existence important to the world....

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My Self-Discovery Journey : No Nicely Branded Box with Bow-like Promises

Posted by on Oct 30, 2017 in Ahas, Daily Shalagh, Gathering My Lessons | 0 comments

My Self-Discovery Journey : No Nicely Branded Box with Bow-like Promises

Like skydiving or deep-sea diving, this self-discovery adventure of myself, can feel like scary free-falling into the unknown. As I attempt to traverse the terrain of my inner world and muster the mindfulness that fuels this trip, I am developing a way better understanding of my humanity. And what you need to know about me is that I roll with the lessons, re-posting it “live” as it happens. Unlike a lot of online persons, I do not have it all wrapped up in a nicely branded box with bow-like promises of easy transformation. I only have the...

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My Fear of the Pain and Fearing the Pain Would Stay

Posted by on Oct 27, 2017 in Ahas, Daily Shalagh, Gathering My Lessons, The Soapbox | 2 comments

My Fear of the Pain and Fearing the Pain Would Stay

There was a lot of physical pain and fear taking up space in my house this year. Both me and my cat were experiencing our own pain and fear nightmares at the beginning of the Summer. And I’ve since really understood how the feeling of pain can manifest into a more fearful outlook on the world. And mess you up. This Summer was to be the Summer that I took care of myself. I swore in the beginning to follow through with all the procedures I needed to fix the problems with my SI joints and my sinuses as best I could. It took me all Summer...

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