All my life I’ve had good even great excuses to not be able to do what I’ve needed to do. A carefully laid web of cant’s and couldn’t, fallacies and truisms have been my cocoon against failure and the unknown. My inadvertent avoidance methods were masterful. And then I added the excruciating pain of seeing everyone else successfully doing all those things I couldn’t possibly do because of all those reasons why I couldn’t.
So in my attempt to clear my head from all the nonsensical clutter which I’ve collected all my decades of existence, I’ve been purposefully and aggressively going after my excuses. And I’ve managed to take out a few good ones in recent months. Foremost, we could never go out because I didn’t have a babysitter. And then, POOF, I found one. My computer was filling up and nothing was backed up. Now I have a professional data storage system in place.
When I hear “I can’t because”, I know that’s a red flag for fear. Initiate the five-question challenge and you’ll get down to the truth that lies under the paralysis. Yes, keep asking and answering why five times and it’s guaranteed to get you a better answer than “I just can’t”. It will certainly reveal the deeper expectations, ideals, and fears that you may have not even admitted you had that were blocking you.
If you say you can’t,
you can’t.
If you say you can,
you will.
How I solved my problems was to move beyond my excuse and make it my purpose to keep asking, keep looking until I found solutions. And the answers came quickly, maybe because I was finally in the mood to be done with my angst. This was how my Christmas was, easy and simplified and then in January, I solved these two dilemmas. I’ve been sitting here kinda dumbfounded.
Because I have systematically rid myself of all the hindrances, annoyances, bumps and potholes on my road of life that were self-created and often kept me from even starting the car. And I don’t know how to navigate without a handicap, a broken vehicle, and dread. Yet here I am.
And what the silence is starting to feel like and fill up with is trust that I’ll take care of whatever comes up and excitement for the fun things I can fill my time with instead of dread. I have two new challenges and connections I’ve come up with to launch soon and I can’t wait to make them happen. Because my happiness is worth the work and there’s no better impetus to live out loud than my and my family’s happiness. And my happiness expounds when I know that others will feel inspired and happy joining in too.
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And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.
4 Comments
Intentional intouchness — I am here. You’ve found me on the yoga mat, morning practice before I get ready for work. This is a good place to connect. Have a great day.
Thank you for this Tamara and remembering my phrase! Much love to you today as every day.
Your posts always touch me somewhere. This one made me think about how I didn’t really believe I could manage on my own until my husband’s catastrophic automobile accident (when I was 40) happened. I didn’t have a choice. I had to manage assisting with his recovery, the four kids (two of him went off to school the week after his accident), my need to make enough money to keep us going (and the school bills paid). Somehow I did it and although the cost to my husband was steep (it was a six year recovery), that experience let me know I had resources I didn’t know about and I never again worried if I could manage.
Wow that is an amazing story Mala. And I’m glad to hear that you acknowledge yourself for your superpowers. And of course, that Roger recovered. Thank you!