Daily Shalagh
Daily Shalagh is otherwise known as everything I think and say and do. Or another home page.
Do You Rage or Resign Yourself ?
Have you ever found yourself frustrated because you have a chore to do and you just don’t feel like doing it? It’s too hot to take the trash out. There’s dishes piled in the sink and it’s late. My feet are dirty and I’m too tired for a bath. There’s nothing to eat in the house but the thought of take out food turns your stomach? When things smack of effort, we can feel resentful, angry even. We don’t feel like it. But what we are also inadvertently saying is that we aren’t worth the effort. Life...
read moreI Should Love Myself
I wanted to title this, I Should Love Myself More. But I decided that loving myself at any level, much more to the more, was a necessary thing. I can say that I like myself. But I can not say I love myself today. I have said I love you recently to myself. But why did that disappear? Self-love is as necessary as breathing. And yet we aren’t taught how to do this very well. We are taught how to hold ourselves to impossible standards and berate ourselves perpetually sure we don’t meet these standards. But the importance of self-love...
read morePermission to Be Me
It is truly hard to claim yourself. What do you like and who do you believe yourself to be are two of an intricate network of questions for which the answers represent you. Except we are so inundated with facts on who we are supposed to be a that by the time we are old enough to have the power to define ourselves, we’ve all but forgotten who we are. “You can be anything you want to be” is such a ridiculous statement, we think. I’m supposed to be all these other things. I keep thinking that I need focus on who I see myself as. To...
read moreWho Do You I Think I Am Vs. Who Do I Believe Myself to Be
Why is there a presumed challenge in the question, “who do you think you are”? As if anyone is ever entitled to question your opinion of yourself other than you. Perhaps only people who don’t know who they are ask this question in a way that suggests you are less. But I am thinking more and more this month about who I believe myself to be. My definition in me which leads to who I believe myself to be. And it perpetually occurs to me that who I think I am is a lot less than who you think I am. And that it may be possible to increase my...
read moreSumptuous Summer Time
I never sleep in. Until Summer. This Sunday morning, I was so languorous in bed, my ear hurt from laying on it. And after I rose and descended the stairs for my first cup of coffee, there were no children demanding things of me. Luxurious sumptuous Summer Time. Remembering my creative soul life. I made a loving breakfast of last chance potatoes, mushrooms, eggs, and thyme from my porch garden. And now I sit listening to the Sleepy Hollow radio program on WXPN with my daughter arting on the floor with her markers coloring seascapes. My hand...
read moreFalling Away
I am always battling with who I think I am. I strip off parts and then I forget parts. Bits of me fall away from me like sand and I begin to disappear in the wind. It’s as if I have to remind myself of who I am. Again and again and again. I can hear the “can” coming in and out. I can hear “my life is good” going in and out. It is these decisions about my now and future life that shade my satisfaction of my now. And there is nothing else more important besides my now. Ever. And If you enjoyed what you read,...
read morePride and Shame
I crave that feeling of pride I get when I complete a project that was a little challenging. I want the pride that little kids wear on their faces after they draw a picture and come to show you it. I felt that way this weekend when I staged a beautiful Garden Party along with a substantially revamped garden. But before that, all I felt was shame for that garden. Yesterday I considered that the opposite of pride is shame. I can tell myself that I should be doing such and such and feel ashamed that I am not making progress on that “should”...
read moreMy Garden Party Looked Like This
As you may, or may not, remember, I overhauled my garden this Spring. It took me many days and weeding out over 30 wheelbarrows of weeds before I won my garden from those weeds. I had given up on the garden and my power over it. I kept saying I couldn’t possibly… And then I decided to change that to I could and I would as weather permitted. And I began because there’s no finishing until there’s a beginning. One nice day at a time. I am far from done but I have taken my garden back to ground zero. And that was an...
read moreA Summer Morning Walk in Denton
Missed posting this morning bright and early because the Garden Party happened. I took a long walk as the weather had broken and other than the fact that my feet hurt, it was a glorious walk. All the cottages in town looked proud and festive. The dappling of the Summer light through the trees was so enticing. And in the cacophony of cicada and cricket song from the trees to the meadow, I heard the lullaby of lazy days to come. Crabapple tree I owe you a garden and garden party post and now that I have time to do that, I’ll do that. And...
read moreCourting Myself and Remembering My Parts
Yesterday and Today, I did what I said I was going to do. I attended three classes so far in an effort to take all of the classes I can in a week. This is part of a bigger plan to turn back the clock to the point before I felt fat and old and scared. My coping mechanisms to drink more wine isn’t working. And essentially, my son told me calling myself old was getting old. As I was in the exrcise class feeling my knees scream doing squats, I remembered that I had made a declaration some months ago before school let out. My intention was...
read more
