I feel like only recently have I realized the I’m a creative in more than a few ways. I knew some of my projects were interesting and I had some well written pieces. But often after I’ve finished creating, somehow my work disappears. Out of sight, out of mind. I file my projects away in a folder. And then forget about them and me.
When I did 31 days straight of posts this past October, I knew I wanted to bring some pictures of the past creative me out of hiding and post them as documentation. That’s when I began to realize there’s a lot to remember. My collages came out of the dark. My shop, the long gone Bally Eden. All the work on my house, I had forgotten.
Christmas time brought more projects and somehow, for the first time I could remember, I didn’t feel overwhelmed or incapable. I began to see that all these projects I had done, loved doing , and then forgotten about, may be like dots I need to connect to find out what my outline looks like as an artist.
Like I’m puzzling out what I am and how I fit into a broader larger picture of the world and other artists and community. Because I believe my happiness has always been in the creation. And to find my true purpose, I need to really see what I bring to the world, what I want to continue to bring, and how I can ask to be compensated for my contributions.
This is a road I am confused to even build. But I believe the dots and the puzzle are how I begin. I am grateful to anyone who ever complemented me on my designs because you’ve helped me more than you know. Helped me to define myself not a waitress or mother who creates but as a creator who happened to also be a waitress and now a Mom. What a difference the shift in definition makes. And now I’m furiously coloring inside the lines to see what I really look like.
There’s projects cooking and I will be sharing them as they progress. A painted rocking chair, another project I’m calling “On Being Someone Else”, and a few writing fires cooking. Stay tuned please.
