The problem with coming out of such an active month (October…crazy posting every day) is that I think I should want to not do anything for November. But my creative brain wants no part of a forced hiatus. So what I got is a dust cloud in my brain. Moments of clarity are followed by a haze that won’t lift on demand. And the haze is created by all the coulds, shoulds, can’ts and cans which built up while I was focused elsewhere.
At night I stay up to get a handle on it. Catch up. Get ahead. It’s not too late. To whip it, whip it good. And then in the next day’s light, the charm is gone and I’m watching my baby crawl and thinking again of stolen time I won’t be getting so that I can’t get ahead. Sigh. No clarity there.
4 hours of babysitter time each week isn’t enough now. No way to get the many jobs I am responsible for completed incompetently and keep the baby alive at the same time.
Recently, I feel the need to be extremely clear about where I am headed, what it’ll take to get there, and then make that happen.
That is going to take extra thought and effort. It’s called creating goals and I am scared.
I am inspired by another online e-course on blogging with Decor8. And by some wonderful blog posts I’ve read recently on courage and faith. And creativity. Do not forget creativity. Don’t get me wrong, I am happy. Just ready for the next chapter is all.
My plan is to go deep and clarify my thoughts through the next couple days. And come out with a better perspective.
Thank you for your patience, understanding, and devotion. I am stunned by and grateful for it.