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Permission to Be Me

It is truly hard to claim yourself. What do you like and who do you believe yourself to be are two of an intricate network of questions for which the answers represent you. Except we are so inundated with facts on who we are supposed to be a that by the time we are old enough to have the power to define ourselves, we’ve all but forgotten who we are.

“You can be anything you want to be” is such a ridiculous statement, we think. I’m supposed to be all these other things.

I keep thinking that I need focus on who I see myself as. To actively engage in a process where I define myself to me and the world. For years, I have had the intention of delving into my journals and blog posts to get to know and appreciate myself better. Am I doing that? Not.

Except, self-love is giving yourself permission to be you. And if you don’t know you, how do you know where you end and others begin? Or what makes you happy? Or what you’re good at? All your decisions are driven by the answers to these questions. Or they’re not. And you’ll feel lost if you are choosing life choices based on other people’s expectations of you.

permission to be me on Shalavee.com

So I am again setting myself to seeing myself in my writing by reading my words. I want to hear what excites me again. I want to know what my priorities. Like an archaeological expedition, I want to rediscover myself and find out what parts of that need to be fleshed out. What flames need to be fanned into a bonfire that I can tend and share. Thinking that my daily art effort will now be redirected to this project and we’ll see where it takes me.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

You Have a Right to Hear Yourself Speak

I believe very strongly in the power of words. To ignite, to soothe, to pinpoint, or to release. From a young age, I began to write so that I could hear what I was thinking and to work out where I was. I found the therapeutic value in hearing myself think and felt my value there.

As children, there’s an implied “Shush” everywhere we go. We are too loud, we don’t know what we’re talking about, we’re inappropriate, or we just need to be seen and not heard. Adults are intolerant of children yet the smalls ones are much wiser in many ways than us. They laugh when things are funny. They still feel exuberant and free from self-editing when they speak their minds.

When we grow up, we understand the importance of not rocking the boat. Of keeping a low profile. Of being normal. But sadly, we also censor the most passionate honest parts of ourselves. Further, when we no longer speak with our inner voices, we are no longer listening to ourselves. We are no longer ourselves. We’re Stepford versions of us. Good dutiful Do-bees. The anti-us.

You Have a Right to Hear Yourself Speak on Shalavee.com

There is definitely a difference between speaking up and making a difference and knowing your words are futile. Why bother. But I think we forget that there is magic in hearing yourself think and speak regardless of how it is received. We have a right to speak our minds in America and we owe ourselves the effort to acknowledge our own feelings.

For me, there is power in the process of writing what I think and handing it out to the world. There is magic in transferring what I feel and gifting it to someone else to perhaps spark a feeling in them too. We build on each others thoughts as a world community. The sparks and the gifts of our communications swirl and rise our collective consciousness. In this way, we not only owe ourselves the gift of speaking our thoughts, we owe the world too.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Getting to Know Me

Within a two day span, I had several of you my dear readers look me straight in the eye and tell me that you had read and gotten something from my last post. And this is what I noted after I thanked you for reading; I’m being read. I am handing out how I feel and what I think with no expectations about how many are reading or if it’s making a difference. But you are and I am. And that feels strangely like an awakening.

I can and have spent a lot of time fretting about fulfilling a purpose and you just told me I was. I have put myself through such existential wringers while silently I impacted the world in the slightest kindest ways. And I paid no attention to the fact that I have said so much that my body of work probably speaks for itself. Because I didn’t give myself credit for much of anything. Anxiety feeds low self-esteem and around and around again.

getting to know me on Shalavee.com

It dawned on me that perhaps I need to spend some time intentionally getting to know myself. That I’ve been telling myself who I am but I just haven’t been paying as much attention as I should have. Bad parenting I guess. They say you already have everything you need to know inside you, it’s just a matter of listening. So I’m thinking I’m going to take the opportunity to get to know myself a little better.

And I just might make a new friend.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

A Poem Prayer for Ease

I chatter at it and

Batter at it and

still it is not fixed.

The ages old self-diatribe

I am not enough, I am not enough

 

I tell everyone, I’m OK, I’m fine

But in my mind there’s a line

And I’m on the wrong side.

 

The impossibility of moving on

Tethered to a ghost.

I trust no one, even myself

And so I remain lost

 

I crave the ease

The easy squeeze

that will fill my future full

Of gratitude and tenderness

of purposed hours filled.

 

I write at night

with all my sight

that I might

win this fight.

 

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

What Are We Writing For ?

I know a lot of writers. All different sorts of types of writing. I can’t say I’ve read all their stuff because I haven’t but I respect them. All of their hard work and their dedication to what they need to express in their writing is very impressive. Devotion to self-expression is impressive.

And I wonder, what are they writing for?

They know why they are writing and what fuels them. Maybe it’s catharsis. Or to figure something out. To add their unique phrasing and ideas to the world and be authentic within it. Or to hear themselves talk.What Are We Writing For ? on Shalavee.com

Maybe they’re proving to their father that they truly can follow through, they do have talent. Or they don’t feel real to themselves unless they’re writing, that maybe they’re invisible until they see their typing on a page.

Each of us has a story to tell and a reason to tell it. I don’t think it’s important to know anyone else’s Why but my own. I write to find out what I have to say and how I feel about things, my world, and you. And I am addicted to the writing process and the self-discovery.What Are We Writing For ? on Shalavee.com

And I’m writing on behalf those who feel they don’t have a voice. For those who feel invisible and unheard. I write for the girl I used to be and to help you become who you need to be.

I write to exist and I exist to write.

 

If you enjoyed what you read, please subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your email box. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional In-touchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

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