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International Women’s Day 2021 : Seeing Ourselves as Valuable

The theme for 2021’s International Women’s Day, which falls on Monday March 8th, is #ChoosetoChallenge .While the global pandemic over the past year has challenged all of us in ways we’d never have wished on anyone, it has also brought to light some woeful discrepancies in gender equality. I have issue with the dismissal and disrespect for Stay-at-home Moms who became the majority this past year.

In the middle of spending months constantly caretaking and worrying about three demanding humans this past year, I acknowledged I felt emotionally and physically exhausted and resentful of all the “doing” for my family. It was apparent my kids didn’t appreciate me. And when I heard other women were struggling with the overwhelm of having to simultaneously work, home-school, clean, and cook for their families, I saw a pattern of disrespect from society, families, and ourselves emerging.

Once you see something, you can not Un-see it. The world is unappreciative of the women who have been keeping us all sane, sanitary, and fed through this pandemic and of the generations prior. The very backbone of every country has been and is taken for granted as a “given” resource. But this Mom job isn’t a default job because we weren’t good enough for anything else. Honestly, we are so good at the multitasking of home maintenance that we make it look too easy. And we’re being taken for granted.

From my perspective, keeping the seams of the country stitched together is a relentless, disrespected, and necessary job. The toddler in diapers and the angry teen are the future of our country. Refusing to acknowledge, honor, and support families’ now saturated need for this special type of care and love at home dooms our next generation to their entitled future anger for emotional abandonment as their mothers spread themselves too thin to do it all. As they work to just pay for childcare.

International Women's Day 2021 : Seeing Ourselves as Valuable on Shalavee.com

These very women are also not asking the world and their families for their due acknowledgment and appreciation. It makes me sad that women are so quick to disregard themselves and their value. We often do what needs getting done without too much “fuss” stating it’s not a big deal, we’re just used to this and it’s easier for us to do the work without help. This is the hardest job ever. By taking ourselves for granted, we are raising and priming the next generation of women for the same self-neglect and disrespect. Playing it down needs to stop.

We cannot conquer what we can not recognize as oppressive, be it our own self-neglect or societal disrespect. In order to see ourselves as valuable human beings, we need to treat ourselves as such. But feeling entitled to respect when we suffer from low self-esteem and anxiety is nearly impossible. I am still on my own journey to climb out of the self-hatred hole and into the compassionate light of seeing myself as a worthy human. This takes additional work beyond that of caring for the family.

The lockdown has taught me life’s easier when I’m vigilant about my self-care by prioritizing my needs and maintaining my boundaries, especially with my family. I can only continue care-taking my children effectively and thoughtfully when I replenish my energy reserves. I do this with therapy, community support, journaling, creating art, and I am committed to taking anti-anxiety medications for the rest of my life. This is how I revere myself and stay sane. Our refusal to prioritize our care and needs doesn’t boost our self-sacrifice points. It does no one any good.

International Women's Day 2021 : Seeing Ourselves as Valuable on Shalavee.com

As we acknowledge our worthiness as women, I’d like to see us choose to join together in the grander act of superversion; a joint and conscious nurturing act of building ourselves and our daughters esteems up so they will be entitled to ask to be treated fairly and respectfully. Unlike subversion, this is not an act against anyone or anything, but an answer to a societal oversight. To honor our heroic female ancestors and ourselves, we can only help future generations recognize the importance of all the unseen selfless acts of love women perform for their families that have allowed future generations to thrive.

Only when we start exhibiting the behavior that we want to see, will the world shift with us. Right is just plain right. A little superversion as purposeful positivity, support, and nurturing, can unite and carry us together safely as one to speak and act on behalf of women around the globe who can not speak for themselves. This is how we can make change, from within ourselves and for the world. I’d like to say the patriarchy will applaud us, but it won’t. We just have to be here for each other no matter.

If you feel resentful towards the world and your families for the way they take you for granted, I completely understand. What will it take for us to tell them to think better of us? What tax breaks could we be offered so that being a stay at home Mom could be the more valued job it should be? How about subsidizing childcare workers to make it more available? And how can you yourself revere your own worthiness with acts of kindness so that others will treat you as you treat you? Please share these ideas and respectfully remember all those wonderful women who have come before us who deserved this kind of love and respect.

And then give this to yourselves.

This post is written to acknowledge the role of women in the world in honour of International Women’s Day 2021. The theme is  #choosetochallenge.  Co-ordinated by Attract Readers, https://www.attractreaders.com

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Emerging from the New Year’s Lull

I am considering how to emerge from the “Lull”. I’ve been working on so much behind the scenes and in my head. Caught up in the doing and not the showing and telling. Coming to terms with, acknowledging, establishing, understanding, and claiming my inner and outer worlds.

I always struggle with what is important enough or necessary enough to share. I would tell you anything but where to start? Where to put your attention and my energy?

The answer is somewhere, anywhere. Because if you wait until you create the perfect online plan or platform to start, you’ll have waited too long. It’ll be 5 years from now and you’ll regret every painful moment that’s passed as you allowed fear to make your living choices for you. Emerging from the New Year's Lull on Shalavee.com

Kick him right out of the driver’s seat, thank him for his input, tell him you’ll take his alarming edicts into consideration, and speed down the woman’s way highway. So this is me putting some metal down.

I’ve got #OurCreativeJanuary wrapping up. I’ll be starting The 100 Day Project on January 31st. See the100dayproject.org for more information or reference this blog post.

I’m taking a break from aiding my Mom because frankly her lack of gratitude and perpetual pushing away began to feel abusive. I’ve been expected to show up for her all of my life by both of us. Maybe I don’t need to be so swell.Emerging from the New Year's Lull on Shalavee.com

The word has just come in that my daughter is going back to school next week so this provides a huge relief in terms of space and quiet for me to create. She’s still my hat at home.

And I’ve begun a weight loss journey to bring myself back to a place I recognize and admire myself. Using some different psychological techniques via Noom and it’s OK.

I am also committing to showing up on my blog every Tuesday as I still am working on my blog revamp. I feel like it needs to have a soft launch by March 1st. We’ll now see won’t we? I am intending to come back to posting Tuesdays and Fridays here again . Have begun to warm my engine up.

 

Interested in reading my future ponderings on Creative Soul Living? Subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my weekly posts via your emailbox.

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I am a community kinda person and am always practicing Intentional Intouchness.

I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Drops in the Bucket Fill the Bucket Up

I realize that I have been an all or nothing girl all my life. I want the pretty garden immediately. I want the pounds to come off overnight. I want world peace or else! And this thinking renders all of my efforts worthless. If I only get part of the project done, with this mindset, it wasn’t enough. And this is like trying to drive with the parking break on.

When I truly started to believe that drops in the bucket fill the bucket up, then I started to enjoy and appreciate my own efforts. Even 15 minutes of concerted effort to clean a closet or weed a garden can make you feel so productive that the next day you want to come back and keep feeling that high.

The trick is to allow anything to be better than nothing.Drops in the Bucket Fill the Bucket Up on Shalavee.com

15 minutes to sort your mountain of mail may actually make a huge dent. The trick is to schedule and allow for not doing the whole task but just enough to make progress.

In that same thought frame, I am aiming to do less but in well planned spurts. We all know that if we left cleaning the bathroom until we felt like it, it would remain dirty. But if I cleaned the sink today, the toilet tomorrow, and the shower the next day, eventually, my bathroom would be clean.

Drops in the Bucket fill the Bucket Up.

Tomorrow is my daughter’s first day back to school. Besides an exercise class in the morning I promised I’d do, I also plan to knuckle down on some thought work I’ve been putting off. At the end of the week, I’m going to celebrate me and my hubby’s anniversary and myself!

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

The Why Will Tell the How

I started my blog, Shalavee.com , to have a place to hone my writing skills. I rose to the challenge to write and post regularly. For several years, I even posted every day in October just to prove it could be done. I have loyally provided regular new content to my readership three times per week. Until the pandemic threw me off.

And as I began to think about what I wanted my new blog to look like (an eventuality and source of great torment), I thought that I no longer want to do what I think I should do. Instead, I want to do what makes me happy.

I began to write to share my thoughts. And I found it’s equally marvelous to allow the catharsis of writing as it is to share and discuss thoughts with others. I found such an amazing group of like minded people online which I never expected. And this has shown me that a community is where I am happiest. Not typing away in silence and talking at people from far away.

So my Why is to connect, commune, and communicate with people. And I’ve decided that I will spend a little less time posting my blog content and a little more time engaging people in discussions about what I’ve already said.

To this end, I will be changing my posting times from Monday, Wednesday, and Friday to Tuesdays and Fridays at 6:30 am. I will also be doing a monthly newsletter again soon to engage people. And I will continue to be on Instagram but perhaps not daily as I’ve done for years.

I’m clearing space out in my life to take myself more seriously. It’s been a long time coming and I feel I finally understand that whatever makes me the happiest is the right thing to do. And here’s to hoping that my loyal readership wants to see me happy too.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

I Carry the Shame

I carry the shame

Of the impoverished upbringings of my parents. Abuse and neglect. I can’t wear stained or torn of illfitting clothes when I leave the house. We don’t do that.

I carry the shame 

Of the unwanted weight on my body.

Not maintaining my appeal for men and equally, for caring what anyone thinks of me, especially men.

I carry the shame 

Of not fixing my anxiety

Of passing it on to my child

Of not being enough.

I carry the shame 

Of staying stuck

Of not rising, using my talents for more.

Of not burning brightly like they all say I can.

I live my shame within my large body 

In the darkness of pain and of blame.

It is embodied in my name.

 

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

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