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Currently Browsing: Self-Discovery

Action Brings Courage

In a recent perusal of my favorite inspirational bloggers and speakers,I rediscovered and owned that my chosen method to accommodate my fears is to procrastinate. Ah yes. However,when I do this, I end up feeling ashamed that I am not getting on with making my purpose a reality and a shame storm repeats itself. More reading brought me this simple nugget of wisdom: Action brings Courage. 

Take any action towards the perceived goal and suddenly, it all feels better. The antidote to hopelessness and unworthiness is action. It immediately resets everything. The action says that you are not in fact stuck but in motion! And you feel suddenly relieved of the previous definition you had of you being lazy and unworthy.Action brings courage on Shalavee.com

The trick is to figure out how it is that you can keep  yourself choosing this action which propels you a bit further and a bit further. I find talking about it gets me going. Handing over my intentions to other people become a form of accountability. They heard me say it so I now probably should do something about it. The idea of an action list with steps broken down and actually scheduled into your calendar is also a very crafty to outwit yourself.

But in the end, I suppose you should make double-decker sure that the thing you think you want is actually for you and not for someone else. And then just have compassion for yourself for putting it off. And start again. That is the current story of several different areas of my life which I will be sharing soon.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter orPinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Forgiving the Stuck

Ah the stuck. It smells of mildew and shame. It’s the place that you dread being when things need to happen. It’s the place you don’t want to admit to being, especially when everybody knows you just need to do “this” and “that” and it will all be done. Over it. Moving on. But here you are, still stuck, feeling bad, and generally sad.

Oh I know I look super busy and productive to you making all these things happen and those things shiny and feeding my kids. But honestly, there’s always that thing that you can’t see that I really have intended, meaning to get to. And all the things were just a way of avoiding that one thing.

Call it Self-sabotage or procrastination, it’s just fear. I fear that I can’t do the other things when I get there. I won’t be in the right place. I will be in the right place and it won’t be hard anymore and that will be hard. Whatever the reason I am here in the Stuck, forgiveness is the way out.Forgiving the Stuck on Shalavee.com

You be my witness dear reader as I shower myself with compassion. I am sorry that you feel you let yourself down Shalagh. You are stronger than you think. I am sorry that you have held yourself hostage to a daily dose of “Bad Dog”. You do so many other great things, it’s sad that you get judged for this one failing. I’m sorry you are scared of your future because from where I stand, if you keep doing what you are doing and following your intuition and your heart, you will only experience joy when you get there. I’m sorry that you are afraid of just being you. I think you are pretty great without ever doing a thing.

 

Much Love to you,

Shalagh

 

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter orPinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Shifting from Should to Could

The shame of not doing what I should have done is sometimes unbearable. I really do mean well and know better, yet I keep hearing myself berate me for not having already done that and gone there. I am a very smart woman, I should know better, do better. And all that serves to do is make me not want to do it even more. If I’ve made it a should, I’ve cursed the possibility of having it happen. Or I hold an invisible knife to my throat for so many tasks that would make me a better person.

This idea of the difference between Should and Could was brought to my attention by the lovely Gabrielle Treanor via her Pressing Pause podcast for overthinkers. Episode 14 was titled “The damaging word every overthinker uses”. I wondered what that might be. And what followed was a very well written explanation of our overuse of the word SHOULD. “I should be doing more” or “I should be able to muscle through these fears” are probably my nasty little whispered shoulds.

What Gabrielle so wisely says is, “‘Should’ is laden with shame and obligation and absence of choice. When we say we should or should not do something it’s usually because that’s what we think others expect of us, what society tells us, or what we think we’re supposed to be feeling, thinking, or doing in our lives. If it’s something we wanted for ourselves, if it was something we thought was a possibility, even if it’s really difficult, we’d use ‘want’ or ‘could’ in place of ‘should’.”Shifting from Should to Could on Shalavee.com

What she goes on to suggest is that, when we hear ourselves about to use the word should, we can switch to could. If we are told we should go to a restaurant she offers, we suddenly feel burdened by this suggestion. But to say we could go to that restaurant will probably get us to the restaurant and not feeling it’s an obligation or a dreadful act we must do. Could changes the feeling the sentence.

There are way too many things in life that we really must do. Finances, grocery shopping, and changing poopy diapers are some dreaded ones. Why drag all those other things in on top of our already heavy load. Instead, we can say we could go for a walk and smell the air and hear the birds for a half hour before we head back to work. I’ll bet you get your exercise in and have a more productive time working with that lovely sounding could than feel the dread of “exercising”.

Semantics, or how we say things, has a lot of impact on how we feel. Being aware of the words we chose and the tone we use when we say them is important, both to others as well as ourselves. But I really was surprised at the simplicity of how switching Could for Should can open possibilities and let us make choices from a place of curiosity and joy rather than shame and dread. See what you think about making the swap when you catch yourself saying Should.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter orPinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Drew’s Story of the Spinach Salad

Often we live and experience our lives through an expectation or understanding we developed as children and we’re sure that it is and will always be this way. How do we know our truths are absolute? A truth to us can be completely distorted until we come face to face with it.

Our friend Drew has a story he tells about being in a café in Ireland. And he looks on the menu and decides to order the Spinach salad. Apparently there were other elements that were being offered with the spinach that seemed appealing . His experience up to this point with spinach was that it is a great big green glob that comes in a can. But he figured he’d just eat around it when it came.Drew's Story of the Spinach Salad on Shalavee.com

The salad comes out and he’s eating it and thinking how good it is and he’s wondering where the green glob is. He’s also relieved that the green glob isn’t there. And then it occurs to him that this yummy green leafy stuff that he’s been eating is spinach in its raw form. And he’s bowled over by how his perceptions and expectations can be so walled off from reality.

If I  attempt to try to do this or invest my expectations, I may surprised how what I think will happen may be far from the truth. How will I ever know what it is like having high self-esteem if I avoid the very risks that will allow for me to develop it. I live an assumption that my diet will always consist of lumpy green stuff and never take a chance to discover the genuine nourishment of the good stuff. 

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter orPinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Create the Life You Want to See and Be

There is a place where each of us thrives. Where we know we belong to ourselves when we are there. It is a crossroads that when we stand there, we are rooted with our own self-trust. And that no negative words could blow our buzz. That place is our home. I am searching for it. I want to create the life that I’m meant for. I may even be standing directly over top of it. And I feel many of you are too.Create the Life You Want to See and Be on shalavee.com

I am near that place when I am writing from my heart. And I’m even closer when I am in a creative community engaged in creativity and supporting one another. Each of us has felt the tickle and the tug of this special place for ourselves. And yet, as we trust our logic and fear and not our intuition, we think “this surely must be a mirage. It can not be as simple as just being ourselves.” Tricky, that fear is.

I may have wasted many many years making all of this way more complicated than it had to be. Tripping over my shoulds and ignoring my coulds, I have stayed put in a quiet spot watching and dreading how complicated it seemed it would be if I were to pursue simply being me. Create the Life You Want to See and Be on shalavee.com

But the moments of pure bliss I’ve had creating and communing and supporting fellow creatives made it seems so simple. The whisper…I only need to trust the process. Trust = Taking Root Under the Self Tree. Agreeing and Intuiting my next step and being present to witness the changes and the letting go. No one can be me better than me. So letting me be me may allow for me to see the future as a hopeful happy place? Perhaps. 

 

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

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