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Currently Browsing: Self-Discovery

Devotion versus Drive

I am caught in a place of decision and doubt. What motivates me and delivers me to purposeful outcome is in question. Where I see Devotion as doing what you do for the benefit of others, I see Ambition and Drive as being motivated by your own ego or fear.

Knowing that what I do, write about, and figure out for myself helps other people seems a handsome impetus to continue. Devoting myself to this process for my sake and theirs is perpetually my next phase which is often held back by fearful lies about my competence to do so.

And then there’s the Drive, what I think of as ambition. I always considered Drive a symptom of the “less than”. I want to prove I’m not less than. I’ll show you. It can be a need for approval and when doing it for anyone but you, you are bound to ride a slippery slope to disappointment.

Money making just for money making’s sake comes from Drive and I tend to judge that harshly. But what do I know of people’s secret fears and hidden stories?Devotion verse Drive on Shalavee.com

What if the drive for money was needed to bring family to you from far away where they were impoverished or in danger? Or was needed to start-up a nonprofit or champion a cause that was dear to you. Or just to feed your children some non-charity voucher food. I am sometimes such a privileged middle class citizen that I forget that I do not want for these sorts of things. I am with my family and we can eat well or badly by choice.

Ambition itself isn’t a bad thing as long as others needs are not disregarded in the process. If you have the devotion to a greater good in your sight, you will not go wrong with the drive to succeed. Everyone will benefit. It’s the ego propelling you to greedy heights or keeping you from aspiring for a purpose greater than you are destined for that’s questionable.

Any ideas on drive versus devotion? What motivates you?

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Thank You to Me

In an effort to regain the self-trust momentum I seem to have lost of recent, I thought I might take a moment to appreciate myself. Throw my humble self a slice of gratitude pie and see where it sticks. So here’s what I am grateful to myself for this past week.

Thank you for not judging my body and telling me I’m fat or imperfect.

Thank you for dressing me in comfortable clothing that also flatters me.

Thank you for taking me to the gym just enough to know I went this week.

Thank you for asking for support from your community when you were feeling wobbly. You let me see that many more people think the better of you than you think.

Thank you for making the appointment to see the doctor and ask for a little help despite the stigma of anxiety. Thank you for being my hero.

Thank you for making the soup and getting my eyebrows waxed and hair trimmed.

Thank you for letting me play and redecorate in my house with my stuff/toys to make it pretty for November.

Thank you for cleaning out the freezer and mopping the kitchen floor.

I will be exercising my gratitude muscle a little more this week of Thanksgiving. We all need a built-in excuse to be thankful every now and again.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Practicing Compassion like God

I was truly inspired after I listened to a podcast recently from the unbelievably smart Sas Pethrick. It was the 30th episode of her podcast called Courage and Spice and she interviewed Jane Reeves, author of a book I recently bought on practicing Loving Kindness (aka Compassion) titled A Heart of Gold. The reason I originally got the book? Because I have come to believe that the only way out of the self-torment and judgment cycle I’ve been subjecting myself to for the greater part of my life is to practice self-compassion. And these two ladies know it too.

Their conversation was one of those deep kind that gives me goosebumps and ahas every couple of minutes. There are more nuances to being mindful and kind to yourself than you would think. For instance, to be a good friend to yourself as well as anyone else, sometimes all you need to do is just be present. No questions or comments. No fix-it suggestions or “it’ll be ok, you’ll see”s. Just being a compassionate witness is ll that’s required. And that if we can not show up and be present for ourselves, we certainly aren’t available for others.Practicing Compassion like God on Shalave.com

That kind of reflection of worthiness and worth isn’t easy to come up with for ourselves. But, as Jane and Sas spoke about imagining a grandparent or a beloved person witnessing you and being there, I realized that is what people ask their God to be: a kind gentle powerful reflection of the light of their worth. That is a gift faith gives you, self-love and self-acceptance. Compassion for your humanity. We’re coming from a deficit and need a little help.

Another thought that these two women brought up was that we intellectually know that as human beings, we will always suffer. But we keep hoping we can avoid this pain somehow. And this avoidance looks a lot like over-eating, over-drinking, over-shopping, etc. But if we were to concede to our humanity and know we’ll be able to get through the inevitable pain by just being here with ourselves until it passes, we could have such a better time of it all.Practicing Compassion like God on Shalave.com

But God already knew that compassion is key.

What if you didn’t have to fix it all but just had to be present with the pain until it subsided and it all felt slightly better to make the next choice? How would you view change? It would be a little easier wouldn’t it.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Will You Face the Day with Hope or Dread ?

It occurred to me this morning that I am either hopeful or I am hopeless at any given moment. Am I dreading my day or looking forward to it? And in that very answer is the truth of my life’s outlook. My perception of who I am and how I have value to add to the world is the key to which state of being I’m in.

I am holding my breath this morning to find out how I feel.Will You Face the Day with Hope or Dread on Shalavee.com

Our thoughts and feelings are codependent and fickle. We may have a fleeting thought about our “less than” worth and then suddenly our inner child has gone on strike and shuts down. As she feels helpless, hopeless and dreads everything upcoming, our now self feels hopeless and purposeless and depressed. She doesn’t think you are gong to get through this or keep her safe. 

If we receive kudos or a compliment about our work or our hair, suddenly we feel all puffed up and full of hope and love and generosity. Today is suddenly a wonderful day to be alive.

So the trick would seem to be that you need to convince yourself every day that you are amazing. Feeling good and esteeming oneself brings hope. Berating and hating oneself brings dread. It is a choice daily on how you want to feel.Will You Face the Day with Hope or Dread on Shalavee.com

So today I’m refusing to entertain any conversations about body hatred or dusty shelves or weedy gardens and instead, I’m going to continue to work on thinking I’m pretty keen. And work on what I can hand my readership that is of value to their lives. That brings them hope because we need to pass it on.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Belonging to Myself

I feel unqualified to be an adult. Like someone didn’t give me the manual and the rule book. And I’ll be found out. I was raised to need someone else to give me a sense of belonging. It would seem my kryptonite is my own independence. This is the story I am discovering and hoping to rewrite. And may well be the story of many women who feel their purpose of existence is to serve others.

But I have found that not belonging to myself causes me great grief. A sense of being untethered and ungrounded. Not belonging to you means that you look for all your comfort and sense of identity from others. And I am adamant that my daughter finds a way to be here for herself. We had a conversation about this once and she called it her Body Buddy. Imagine the kind of love and acceptance we could give ourselves and then to the world if we belonged to ourselves, inside the bodies we have, with the compassion of angels.Belonging to Myself on Shalavee.com

What is a sense of Self-belonging comprised of? Self-love, self-trust, and self-knowledge perhaps. A feeling of faith that you are here just as you need to be when you should be. That you have everything you need within you to fulfill your purpose here. And you are never alone as long as you know that you are a pretty awesome friend to you.

If you enjoyed what you read, please subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your email box. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional In-touchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

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