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Currently Browsing: Self-Discovery

March of the Musts

From a very small age, we get the notion that things need to be done a certain way, or else. We make up our own logic and rules about the way we need to do our lives with this impending threat looming that if we don’t do it that way, there’ll be consequences. I had some ritual at age 5 where I had to pull up my underwear and jump from the chair to the bed or I wouldn’t be safe from the creatures under my bed. And I am watching me daughter do the same sort of “must be dones” too.

I think we forget the original reason why we got to doing stuff a certain way and it’s just become a march of the musts as we live on autopilot never asking ourselves why we do it this way. It’s just always been that way. Either our real or our internalized parents told us to do it that way and we’re good girls and boys and no longer question why.March of the Musts on Shalavee.com

I felt grumbly and slightly resentful yesterday as I spent a chunk of my Saturday afternoon cleaning the bathrooms I’d been putting off cleaning. But there was just this absolute in my head that it had to happen now. Either the bathrooms got cleaned or I…. am a bad mother? Or I … will be a procrastinator. Or I … won’ t be able to earn my playtime? I didn’t wanna but I had to.

Would I have felt better if I’d given myself until the next day to clean the bathrooms. Maybe, maybe not. Do children need choices? Absolutely but the right ones. Do we make stuff up in our heads about foul consequences for our wrong choices. Of course. But I am certain that we are much harder on ourselves about anything than others would be.March of the Musts on Shalavee.com

Tell your inner parent to lighten up and consider the options more and see if the universe really will fall apart if you don’t do it right now in that way. You may be surprised to hear your wisdom is kinder and more attuned to you than you think.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter orPinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

I Want to Honor Myself

The word honor suddenly asked to be thought of. What does it mean to me I wondered, to honor myself, my life. To treat myself with reverence and respect unlike my usual lack of respect and general pushing to do. What if I allowed myself to respect and revere and see myself and what I am here to do daily? How would that effect my outlook, my daily doing?

I often envy others their perspective. They can see their lives and what they are here for and how beautiful their day is. They capture it in their art and their social media and their words. Or are they just faking it? Because that is definitely a thing. I long to know what it feels like to almost cavalierly comprehend the meaning of my existence to me.I Want to Honor Myself on Shalavee.com

Without a reference for who we think we are, we are lost. If like me, your point of reference was a parent, you may be a lost adult struggling to see your value and worthiness in a larger world. But it is the fight to find yourself and your purpose and your value which is the truest most noble fight worth taking on. In fact we really don’t have a choice. We are otherwise just existing and surviving.

I long to know what it feels like to almost cavalierly comprehend

the meaning of my existence

So I ask again, what is it that I want to honor within myself and give back to my children and the communities I live in? I want to honor my offer of perspective and wisdom, of process and hope, of beauty and kindness, and of honesty and compassion. What you value in me, I hope to come to value as well. What do you value in you? Are these the same attributes as others see you to own?

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter orPinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Celebrating 7 Years of Blogging and My Blogaversary

When I began my blog 7 years ago, all I knew was that I was creating an opportunity to write. My number one goal was to improve my writing. Little did I realize that I would be forced into becoming a social media maven. Or ignite my creativity and use these benefits to lower my anxieties. I had a lot of learning and growth ahead of me. I also had some tough times as I watched the world of people go do the things they were meant to do and leave me in their wake.

When you are online, it’s very hard to not notice that other people are getting their stuff done. They’re making communities and creating email lists and online courses. And you can EASILY feel as if you are completely incapable of doing any of this well enough to fit in much less rise to the top of the mountain you feel you too are meant to climb.Celebrating 7 Years of Blogging and My Blogaversary on Shalavee.com

A well-respected online business branding consultant Kathleen Shannon of Braid Creative once said that as a blogger, you have to remember that there are A, B, and C levels to blogging. The newest people are the A’s. My blog site was very simple and primitive when I began. I didn’t take pictures and was entirely too verbose and I watched others online and groaned at my novice-ness.

But then eventually, I had to concede that I must have become a level B blogger. I understood enough about social media to know I disliked Twitter and Facebook too for that matter. All I wanted to do was just hang out on Instagram. And I kept writing, following other bloggers, taking courses, attending conferences, and I stayed friends with people. Eventually I realized that I was now even better of a writer than I had ever imagined I’d become. And that making money and gathering email addresses was not the kind of blogger I was.

Celebrating 7 Years of Blogging and My Blogaversary on Shalavee.com

Row row row my boat

So now I’m wondering, if I am not your typical blogger, what is it that I truly want to do with this vehicle? Of course, being online has allowed me to develop my voice and some pretty cool theories. I’ve quelled so much of my anxieties. But there’s one last wall I need to break through when it comes to my self-doubt. I may now have graduated to a C level blogger but I don’t want to act like one. Just because the public expects us to take a certain path with our blogs doesn’t mean we have to.

So here’s celebrating 7 years of devoting yourself to anything! In this case, it was my blogging and writing. And I am truly proud of myself for this devotion to connecting with what I think, getting better at expressing it, and connecting with a like-minded global community. My world is so much larger now than I ever imagined. I guess I’ll just keep blogging because I have to keep writing.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter orPinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Life as an Uber Creative

Is that there’s too many things you’d like to devote your creative attention to?

When I was younger, I considered acting. I considered music. I thought about art for a long time before I finally allowed myself to practice it. And I have now indulged my writer enough that she feels calm. But other parts of me loiter around like groupies waiting for a break. My photographer is resigned to get her chance in my retirement years.

 I finally adopted my new self definition as uber creative three years ago in 2015 and wrote this funny piece about my busy-brained eagerness to create it all. And since then I have also discovered that I am an over-worker. This stress and fear coping mechanism is otherwise known as Industrial Over-Focused. I can see how I combined my fear coping mechanism and my creative drive and added a little fear of visibility,perfectionism and have made my uber-creativity into a bad combination affliction.Life as an Uber-Creative on Shalavee.com

I believe that you can never have too much creativity in your life and that if you actually allow your intuition to make more choices for only you in your life, you’d be way more stress free. But combining a need to please and get it right with the need to create can ruin the joy of creativity for anyone.

I looked up the concept of Uber Creative on the internet and found a very interesting article that has 14 ideas on how to be an Uber Creative here. Who doesn’t need outside inspiration at some point? Just as creating for others instead of yourself isn’t any fun, neither is creating in a vacuum.Life as an Uber-Creative on Shalavee.com

So a Huzzah to everyone who wants to create and hello to my fellow Uber Creatives ! There’s no better balm for your soul than creativity. I encourage you to write your secret creative desires down out of earshot of your inner critical parent. And then trick the parent into signing a permission slip to indulge your inner child in a little playtime and see what happens.  Everyone is actually creative (capable of combining new ideas together essentially) and that once we embrace the meaning of creativity as a way of living and not a perfect product, the world will shift.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter orPinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Action Brings Courage

In a recent perusal of my favorite inspirational bloggers and speakers,I rediscovered and owned that my chosen method to accommodate my fears is to procrastinate. Ah yes. However,when I do this, I end up feeling ashamed that I am not getting on with making my purpose a reality and a shame storm repeats itself. More reading brought me this simple nugget of wisdom: Action brings Courage. 

Take any action towards the perceived goal and suddenly, it all feels better. The antidote to hopelessness and unworthiness is action. It immediately resets everything. The action says that you are not in fact stuck but in motion! And you feel suddenly relieved of the previous definition you had of you being lazy and unworthy.Action brings courage on Shalavee.com

The trick is to figure out how it is that you can keep  yourself choosing this action which propels you a bit further and a bit further. I find talking about it gets me going. Handing over my intentions to other people become a form of accountability. They heard me say it so I now probably should do something about it. The idea of an action list with steps broken down and actually scheduled into your calendar is also a very crafty to outwit yourself.

But in the end, I suppose you should make double-decker sure that the thing you think you want is actually for you and not for someone else. And then just have compassion for yourself for putting it off. And start again. That is the current story of several different areas of my life which I will be sharing soon.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter orPinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

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